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User:OhMG

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=Memorable diary entries by Pro Tagonist=
Since level 18
==Level 24==
===6/17/2011===
* 19:10: The local sheriff asked me to come up with a better catch phrase. I don't want to go to jail, so I'd better do it.
* 18:31: I have successfully completed my quest to 'see if the pen really is mightier than the sword', yet nothing has happened.
* 18:31: Chopped a bunch of pens and pencils with my sword. What am I doing wrong?
* 08:07: Almighty, I prayed and spent 416 coins on you... Why don't you pray and spend money on me?
* 07:06: Oy fetched a dead rat from somewhere and proudly laid it at my feet. What is this? A sacrifice?
* 06:54: Finally found the right path. Yeah, I'm sure about it.
* 06:53: "Oy the dust bunny" sounds distinguished, doesn't it? My Lady, do you like my pet?
* 06:13: A cute little girl wearing a nekomimi asked me to see if the pen really is mightier than the sword. It's a bit weird, but why not embark upon this quest?
* 05:28: Quest to 'fill in a black hole' is completed! Got a pot of gold. Let's go on a shopping spree!
===6/16/2011===
* 21:11: Searched for memory lane, but couldn't remember the directions.
* 20:46: Ketums child has been defeated. And so it will be with all the others!
* 20:46: Notes from arena battle: Ketums child begs for mercy. Pro Tagonist definitely fulfilled her god's expectations today! The winner got richer by 539 coins and a golden brick.
* 20:29: Notes from arena battle: Pro Tagonist and Ketums child look at each other appraisingly. The audience watches with anticipation.
* 20:28: Searched through the pockets of my suddenly uncomfortable clothes and discovered a "How to Breed a Hero" manual, a two-pound dumbbell, and a gilded fleece under my armor. I have no idea how these things got here, but I'm sure they will come in handy.
* 20:27: Suddenly found myself completely healthy, standing in the arena. No doubt the Almighty wants me to kick somebody's arse!
* 20:01: Couldn't remember how to throw this boomerang, but it eventually came back to me.
* 08:03: Erased a couple of obscene entries from the diary in case Most Righteous One was watching.
* 07:50: Gave a one armed man a hand.
** ''Tamed a new pet around 3am: a dust bunny named "Oy"''
* 06:17: Visited the zoo and fed some hungry trolls.
* 06:13: Attempted to be witty.
* Trying to negotiate a 3 for 2 discount with the undertaker...
* Saving before getting to town...
* The heroine is feeling homesick...
* 00:53: Quest to 'pull a hat out of a rabbit' is completed! Received some experience and a wish for good luck.
* 00:53: That hat was hard to reach, but I got it. Magic!
===6/15/2011===
* 23:59: Saw a notice posted by the roadside that said: 'Do not feed the bear.'
* 19:56: Did the hokey pokey and turned myself around... Drat! Now I'm not sure which direction I was going...
* Returning to civilization by following a trail of beer bottles...
* Trying to find some strong alcohol to cure a headache...
* 18:20: I put a bandage on a nasty cut. Why do monsters have such sharp claws, teeth, and other pointy bits?
* 18:18: Paid 24 gold coins to the racketeer-gatekeeper at the city gate.
* Moonwalking back to town...
* 18:12: Decided to go back to town. I need some rest and treatment.
* Sleepwalking back to civilization...
* Running back to town for food and shelter...
* Looking forward to a warm bath and a nice tankard of beer...
* Back to town to replenish beer supplies...
* 18:06: Clear weather and no clouds. Hm, must not be any gods around today.
* 17:55: I may be lost, but I am definitely making good time.
** ''Just noticed Guild by Association rank has increased to "Advisor"''
* 17:48: Eek! Maybe I shouldn't stop in the middle of a fight to write diary entries.
* 17:45: Great One, I've chanted prayers for so long that my tongue has knotted! Have you forsaken me?
* 17:45: I left my prayer book somewhere, so I had to improvise. I hope my prayer wasn't that bad.
* 17:26: My arm just fell off. Oh well, it's just a flesh wound.
* 17:24: A Grayscaled Dragon is bothering travelers. Maybe I should do something about it... like "kill the Grayscaled Dragon".
* 17:42: Was resurrected in a metropolitan temple by the will of the Almighty. Thank you, Great One!
* 17:41: Of all the things in the world, I like shoes the most and being dead the least. Too bad I can't have a drink instead of dying.
* 17:31: Boredom forced me to study a nearby anthill. Earned a bit of experience.
* 17:27: I died by the hand of the Grayscaled Dragon but my name will live on!
* 17:23: Saw a sign that said: 'Warning: Watch out for Signs!'
* 15:26: Attack is the best defense, therefore retreating must be the best attack.
* 15:39: Hopkinton Rhubarb III took the monster aside, giving me plenty of time to get away. Don't worry, Garlic Elemental, I'll get you next time!
* 09:51: A strange man with a floating exclamation mark above his head told me to pull a hat out of a rabbit.
* 09:02: I've managed to paint the town red somehow. Found a chest full of money. Gonna go on a shopping spree.
* 09:02: Met the next morning with a terrible headache but it was worth it. The citizens of this town will be thoroughly confused for a while.
* 08:12: Why do I have a feeling that I've been here before... Ah, never mind.
* 07:48: Hopkinton Rhubarb III took the monster aside, giving me plenty of time to get away. Don't worry, Brass Monkey, I'll get you next time!
===6/14/2011===
* 23:47: This diary entry was removed due to a copyright claim by Copyright Claim Inc.
* 23:08: Erased a couple of obscene entries from the diary in case my Goddess was watching.
* Unsuccessfully trying to look cool...
* Bragging about her arena wins...
* 22:00: A strange man with a floating exclamation mark above his head told me to paint the town red.
* 21:56: Saw another hero's god in my dreams. My Lady, give me a sign of your presence, I beg you... I feel so lonely.
* 21:42: BigMan has been defeated. And so it will be with all the others!
* 21:42: Notes from arena battle: BigMan begs for mercy. Pro Tagonist definitely fulfilled her god's expectations today! The winner got richer by 678 gold coins and a golden brick. As a sign of heroic solidarity, the winner returned 179 gold coins to her rival for medicine.
* 21:25: Notes from arena battle: In the red corner of the arena - BigMan. In the blue corner - Pro Tagonist. The judge gives the go-ahead and the duel begins!
* 21:25: Found a pile of new artifacts still warm from materialization: a torrent-cracker, a vial of breadcrumbs, and a fortune-teller's kit. Splendid, I'll swap them for a drink tonight.
* 21:25: The earth shook, the wind whistled in my ears, I spun and landed in the center of the arena... My Goddess, I know what you mean! Hey, greenhorns, wanna fight?
** Just noticed that Sneezy's corpse is no longer listed in my inventory. Looks like I'm in the market for a new pet.
* 21:14: Da nit I ne d to buy a new pen, th s on is run ing ou of ink.
* 20:58: Quest to 'take part in the search for the Holy Packet' is completed! Got a pot of gold. Let's go on a shopping spree!
* 20:58: I doubt they search for it in the right way. It might be better to ping at least...
* 17:11: From now on, this Ideabox Rejector won't be a threat to anyone.
* 08:49: Where's page 404 of my diary? Can't find it.
* 08:31: A suspicious stranger told me that if I take part in the search for the Holy Packet, I'll get a nice reward, probably. I have a bad feeling about this...
* 08:05: A tough slog through rain, sleet, and then snow.
* 07:57: Following a sudden desire, I peeked into my knapsack and found three bold trophies missing, but, fortunately, discovered three golden bricks in their place. That's what I call a true miracle!
* 07:54: Quest to 'put one foot in front of the other' was a triumph! I'm making a note here: huge success. Got a golden brick.
** Quest Put one foot in front of the other (completed)
* 07:54: Step by step, day by day...
* 12:44 am: achieved a new level
==Level 23==
===6/13/2011===
* 20:54: Stepped on an ant and killed it. Cried for the next hour.
* 20:06: During a rest by the wayside, met Hopkinton Rhubarb III and borrowed his diary to read. The writing is so similar... We're obviously soulmates.
* 17:28: An old mage asked me to put one foot in front of the other. Well, that shouldn't be too hard.
* 16:49: Quest to 'find the missing piece of the puzzle' was completed with excellence! Got a shiny golden brick and felt great about it.
* 16:49: Eww, the dog ate it!
* 16:34: Ate. Prayed. Killed something.
* 16:15: While sitting at a rest stop, I cried a little for the untimely passing of my pet. Oh, Sneezy, Sneezy...
* 11:52: LordRaiden has been defeated. And so it will be with all the others!
* 11:52: Notes from arena battle: LordRaiden begs for mercy. Pro Tagonist definitely fulfilled her god's expectations today! The winner receives a golden brick and 944 gold coins.
* 11:35: Notes from arena battle: In the red corner of the arena - LordRaiden. In the blue corner - Pro Tagonist. The judge gives the go-ahead and the duel begins!
* 11:34: Searched through the pockets of my suddenly uncomfortable clothes and discovered a daylight torch, a gilded fleece, and a recipe for disaster under my armor. I have no idea how these things got here, but I'm sure they will come in handy.
* 11:34: The earth shook, the wind whistled in my ears, I spun and landed in the center of the arena... My Goddess, I know what you mean! Hey, greenhorns, wanna fight?
===6/11/2011===
* 17:16: Met Hopkinton Rhubarb III, borrowed some food and a couple of healing potions. Feeling much better now.
* 12:46: I found a house divided. It couldn't stand.
* 12:44: I've managed to cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring somehow. Found a chest full of money. Gonna drink heavily.
* 12:44: They say it can't be done. Ha.
* 06:12: Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest and met Hopkinton Rhubarb III there. Drank from a mug to celebrate the lucky meeting and smoked a peace-pipe. Lost track of time.
===6/10/2011===
* 22:50: I have successfully completed my quest to 'find a better megaphone for my deity', yet nothing has happened.
* 12:54: Sweetster was removed from my potential threats list. He will remember not to stand in my way again.
* 12:54: Notes from arena battle: Sweetster begs for mercy. Pro Tagonist definitely fulfilled her god's expectations today! The winner got richer by 1086 gold coins and a golden brick.
* 12:33: Notes from arena battle: In the red corner of the arena - Pro Tagonist. In the blue corner - Sweetster. The judge gives the go-ahead and the duel begins!
* 12:32: Almost instantly after teleporting to the Godville Arena, the sky began raining trophies. I added a hallpass, a gilded fleece, and an escape key to my bag.
* 12:32: The earth shook, the wind whistled in my ears, I spun and landed in the center of the arena... My Goddess, I know what you mean! Hey, greenhorns, wanna fight?
* 11:37: Sneezy sat aside to watch my epic battle with the monster. You're so worthless, rocky raccoon.
* 10:03: Stumbled across a sign that read: 'Ignore these four words.'
* 08:39: Hopkinton Rhubarb III suddenly rushed past me, barked “Hi”"Hi", and finished off the Zombo-Wirt. I'd better make more friends, it seems they can come in handy sometimes.
* 06:39: Felt a burning desire to disassemble the mystery box. Found a notarized document inside stating that I've died fewer times than I thought. Splendid.
* 06:16: I feel like Sneezy is trying to tell me something. I wonder, what exactly could it be?
** ''Quest "go where the wind never blows" has been completed!''
* 15:56: Hooray! I've reached level 23!
 
==Level 22==
===6/7/2011===
* 11:56: Entered a bamboo grove to get some rest and met Hrun there. Drank from a mug to celebrate the lucky meeting and smoked a peace-pipe. Lost track of time.
* 07:06: It's amazing how much I write in this thing!
 
===6/5/2011===
* 22:01: Ran into Hopkinton Rhubarb III. He distracted the monster with some magic tricks, giving me time for a quick prayer.
* 22:01: I met a suspicious stranger in the tavern. He mumbled something about a secret religious organization that needed a brave hero who could find the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. Here I am!
* ''[Something compelled me to assume this quest -- Become the 222nd member of the guild "seven winds home" -- Fortunately, OhMG was on the ball and stopped me in time...]''
** 21:45: Screw this quest. If you didn't try, can you really say you failed?
** 21:44: I ate a fortune cookie and the note inside said: 'Stop your quest! Cancel your quest!'
* 11:02: Searched through the pockets of my suddenly uncomfortable clothes and discovered a constant variable, a rung off the career ladder, and an inquisitor's starter kit under my armor. I have no idea how these things got here, but I'm sure they will come in handy.
* 11:02: The earth shook, the wind whistled in my ears, I spun and landed in the center of the arena... My Goddess, I know what you mean! Hey, greenhorns, wanna fight?
 
===6/4/2011===
* 18:42: Hmm, Sneezy the rocky raccoon... What a strange combination. Maybe I should have called him Kelsun?
* 13:56: Notes from arena battle: AnnaLeeChace begs for mercy. Pro Tagonist definitely fulfilled her god's expectations today! The winner receives a golden brick and 900 coins.
* 13:44: The strange radiance around me has finally disappeared. It looks like my aura of pacifism has expired.
* 13:37: Notes from arena battle: In the red corner of the arena -- AnnaLeeChace. In the blue corner -- Pro Tagonist. The judge gives the go-ahead and the duel begins!
* 13:36: Searched through the pockets of my suddenly uncomfortable clothes and discovered a wet blanket, a jar of traffic jam, and a cat in the bag under my armor. I have no idea how these things got here, but I'm sure they will come in handy.
* 13:36: My vision suddenly went dark and my ears began to pound... Once I had recovered, I found myself at the center of an arena with a strong desire to kick some butt in the name of the Exalted One!
* 14:02: Please, Soul Supreme, stop refreshing every few seconds. It's driving me nuts.
* 13:59: Clouds of thick, dirty fumes billow out from smokestacks in Godville. The stench is overpowering...
===5/27/2011===
* 13:24: An old sage from the ivory tower asked me to add insult to injury. I hope that the reward for this will be good.
* 12:51: Quest to 'think of a witty quest idea' is completed! Received some experience and a wish for good luck.
===6/2/2011===
* 23:59: Returned to the point of no return in my mission.
* 21:11: Hello, my Lady! It's me, the lonely heroine. Could you send me a sign? Like a cold beer or something?
* 16:55: While the enemy was taking a time-out, Hopkinton Rhubarb III helped me cleanse my wounds and fed me some delicious fresh buns.
* 06:35: Sigfrido was removed from my potential threats list. He will remember not to stand in my way again.
* 06:34: Notes from arena battle: Sigfrido is on his knees. Pro Tagonist salutes to somewhere above! The winner got richer by 2092 coins and a golden brick. The loser cadged 98 coins back.
* 06:08: Notes from arena battle: In the red corner of the arena -- Pro Tagonist. In the blue corner -- Sigfrido. The judge gives the go-ahead and the duel begins!
* 06:07: Searched through the pockets of my suddenly uncomfortable clothes and discovered a token ring, a death note, and an unused icon under my armor. I have no idea how these things got here, but I'm sure they will come in handy.
* 06:07: The earth shook, the wind whistled in my ears, I spun and landed in the center of the arena... My Goddess, I know what you mean! Hey, greenhorns, wanna fight?
* 05:21: I live for the Great One, I die for... um... what exactly?
* 01:21: Achieved Level 22
 
==Level 21==
===6/1/2011===
* 19:15: Dirtface was removed from my potential threats list. He will remember not to stand in my way again.
* 19:15: Notes from arena battle: Dirtface begs for mercy. Pro Tagonist definitely fulfilled her god's expectations today! The winner receives a golden brick and 622 gold coins.
* 19:02: Notes from arena battle: In the red corner of the arena - Pro Tagonist. In the blue corner - Dirtface. The judge gives the go-ahead and the duel begins!
* 19:02: Time to cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war! Hey, greenhorns, wanna fight?
* 19:01: A stranger came close to me and whispered: 'Never talk to strangers.'
* 20:41: Quest to 'take part in the search for the Holy Packet' is completed! Received some experience and a wish for good luck.
* 20:41: I doubt they search for it in the right way. It might be better to ping at least...
* 20:07: Heard a tree fall in the forest while nobody was around.
* 14:46: Mortsouhait has been defeated. And so it will be with all the others!
* 14:45: Notes from arena battle: Mortsouhait begs for mercy. Pro Tagonist definitely fulfilled her god's expectations today! The winner got richer by 2 gold coins and a golden brick.
* 22:46: I remember tons of booze, more booze and... yeah. Now I'm missing 2676 coins from my purse. My goddess, I really should give up drinking.
* 22:07: Hmm, Sneezy the rocky raccoon... The name doesn't exactly strike fear into your heart. Maybe I should have called him Disgusting Murdersquito?
* 21:40: Suddenly felt a strong desire to examine the box with a question mark. My senses didn't let me down - found 4948 coins inside!* 21:37: Learned new skill: “strong brow”"strong brow"!
* 21:37: Hooray! I've reached level 21!
 
==Level 20==
===5/27/2011===
* 21:32: I fell off a cliff and discovered gravity. Again.
* 20:29: Sneezy refuses to pull the cart that I found in a ravine. Naughty rocky raccoon! Now I have to leave a perfectly good cart on the road.
* 19:05: Jokers revenge has been defeated. And so it will be with all the others!
* 19:05: Notes from arena battle: Jokers revenge is unconscious. Pro Tagonist successfully fulfilled the plan of praising her deity! The winner got richer by 918 gold coins and a golden brick.
* 18:49: Notes from arena battle: In the red corner of the arena - Jokers revenge. In the blue corner - Pro Tagonist. The judge gives the go-ahead and the duel begins!
* 18:48: Searched through the pockets of my suddenly uncomfortable clothes and discovered a hallpass, an empty cookie jar, and a one-eyed skull under my armor. I have no idea how these things got here, but I'm sure they will come in handy.
* 18:48: Time to cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war! Hey, greenhorns, wanna fight?
* 18:31: Just saw a woodchuck chucking wood. Hmm...
* 14:30: Found a new quest written on the billboard near the town hall: find a ghost in the shell and perform a rite of exorcism.
* 14:30: I beg thee, Omnipotent One! Heal my hangover and punish those cats that were screaming last night. Here is something for you - 102 coins.
* 14:25: Awoke with the head of a horse in my bed... What the heck happened last night?
* 14:24: I didn't know that Sneezy roars while he sleeps. What a silly pet.
* 17:05: Very well then, I shall pray to not become prey.
* 17:05: Found a floating bottle with a message inside that read 'Sacrifice and pray to me.' Odd, considering I was nowhere near a body of water. Great One, was that you?
* “Oh"Oh, what an interesting little thing..."* 17:01: Suddenly felt a strong urge to open the deus ex machina. I shouldn't have opened it - there was a note inside saying that 777 points of my experience were achieved by dishonest means and would be confiscated until better times.
* 15:48: I almost got killed by a shooting star. Thankfully, it ran out of ammo.
* 15:45: Gave a one armed man a hand.
* 04:56: It is said that pets are like their owners. I'm watching mine and don't want to believe that.
* 04:53: I've managed to find the essence of laughter somehow. Found a chest full of money. Gonna drink heavily.
* 04:46: Sneezy laid down next to a quaint little well and promptly fell asleep. It's so peaceful here, I think I'll have a nap too.
===5/25/2011===
* 12:56: Quest to 'crush twenty anthills' is completed! Received some experience and a wish for good luck.
* 16:26: Received a nice black eye while examining the horse shoe. I've written down another rule - never bother unknown horses.
* 16:13: Hooray! I've reached level 20!
 
==Level 19==
===5/22/2011===
* 19:11: Stumbled across a sign that read: 'Warning: Watch out for Signs!'
* 19:05: Sneezy whimpers anxiously and wags his tail like a fan, providing a refreshing breeze. Wow, I feel a bit better!
* 18:22: Tried to hypnotize the trader with a swinging pendulum. I thought it worked -- until I was thrown out of the shop.
* 18:15: Had a nice conversation with myself. Learned a lot from it.
* 18:10: I stopped at the graveyard to listen to the growling of ghouls. I must say, they're quite impressive. Although they do chat a bit too much at times.
* 06:09: I guess I'll never figure out how to become the 263rd member of "The Old Gods" guild. Whatever. I'll find something else to do.
* 06:09: A voice from the skies shouted: 'Cancel this quest.' Funny.
 
===5/13/2011===
* 21:45: Felt adventurous and took the path less traveled, but turned back after having so much trouble walking through the tall grass and weeds.
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