'I’m not sure if this is really edible, Olly. Tastes like shit.'
'Sorry, couldn’t get everything off of your part.'
'I don’t feel really satisfied either.'
'Let’s go find something to get rid of this taste. I heard there were some
plump rhinos passing by the other day. We could find some plump dung beetle larvae.'
Half an hour into their trek, Olly started to notice a change in the environment. The sparse trees were starting to dance and wave at him.
'Kev. The trees are having a blast. What’s happening?'
'The trees are doing nothing of the kind, Olly. Move on.'
'Olly, why are you laughing? I feel weird. That shit you gave me was weird. Everything is starting to get weird.'
'No, it’s not weird, it’s beautiful! I see stuff I’ve never seen before!'
'Olly, I’m sure we’re being watched. I’m scared.'
'Naaaaaaah this is great! I can see beautiful stuff! I’m hungry. Do you have an apple for me? Or a turnip?'
'That rock has eyes. It’s glaring at me.'
'Kev! I just realised, we’re part of something huge and beautiful! What if, what if, what if the savannah grass was the hair on the back of a huge woman who’s as beautiful as my cousin? I need to find out if this is true!
Do you have an apple for me?'
It was then religion and philosophy were born.
'Olly, that rock has eyes. I’m telling you. It’s freaking me out.'
'That’s not a rock! If the grass is her hair, the rocks are pimples on her back!'
'Okay, that pimple has eyes. You’re not making this better.'
'Aaawwwhhhh awesome! So that pimple is watching you! Have you done anything to wrong it?'
'I voided my bladder on it when you crashed giggling.'
'What if… what if it is angry with you for pissing on it?'
It was then that Harvest Moon and all its hundreds of deities were born.
'What, you mean it wants me to apologise?'
'Wow man, this is deep. How do you want to apologise to a pus-filled pustule? Wow, look, I found a woodlouse! A tasty snack!'
'Geez, Olly, you’re making this scary shit not better! How can I apologise to it? I know, I’ll give it something nice!'
'You’re not giving it this woodlouse. I wish it was a cheesy log. Down the hatch you go, my friendly isopod! Ooh that tickles!'
'It wants me to give it that woodlouse? Olly, you’re friggin’ brilliant! Hey, where did you leave it?'
'Oh you needed it?'
'Well thanks, now I’m stuck with a huge vengeful pimple ogling me! Great help you are, Olly!'
'Oh… Sorry man. Say, I know, what if you make a little door for it with your knife? It can walk out of my gut and you can give it to your angry pimple.'
'Olly, you’re a real bro. Thanks man. Lie still for a second, will you?'