Changes

Jump to: navigation, search

Grounded Hog

78 bytes added, 14:31, 14 November 2019
m
"A Grounded Hog roared furiously in front of me, then came closer to say hello.". slight cleanup to gallery
{{Monster|pet=yesy|strong=y | image = HidingHog.jpg | latin = Marmota fundati | description = Fuzzy Wuzzy | class = Woodchuck | habitat = Underground Burrows | levels = 60-89 (?) | feature = Dungeon-Ability}}The '''Grounded Hog''' (''Marmota fundati'') is a tameable [[File: GroundedHog1.jpg|thumb|right| A grounded hog laughs at a hero.monster]][[File: GroundedHog2that is the second-cousin twice removed and then put back again to the more commonly known woodchuck.jpg|thumb|right| A grounded hog tells However, they don't like any references to chucking wood and if stopped to ask how much wood their almost second-cousins chuck in a hero given day if they felt so inclined to stop, back awaychuck said wood, the '''grounded hog''' would tuck itself into the fetal position and listenimmediately fall asleep out of boredom.]][[File: GroundedHog3.jpg|thumb|right| A The '''grounded hog waits for their hero to get stitched up at the physician''' would then hope that you will assume they died of said boredom before you even finished your question.]]
The '''Grounded Hoggrounded hog''' , much like its totally unrelated animal kingdom friend (''Marmota fundati''your {{hero or heroine}}) is a tameable [[monster]] that is the second-cousin twice removed and then put back again to the more commonly known woodchuck. However, they don't like any references will be sure to chucking wood eat and if stopped to ask how much wood their almost seconddrink at every opportunity -cousins chuck in a given day if they felt so inclined order to chuck said wood, the store fat reserves for later. The '''grounded hog''' would tuck itself into prefers to hibernate, so finding one when not in combat is actually very rare. They are easiest to find when it's the second Tuesday of the fetal position third month on a leap year, in a garden with the grass being exactly the height of an African swallow (but no taller than a large herring), and immediately fall asleep out with various shrubbery consisting of the perfect mix of boredom. The '''grounded hog''' would then hope at least fifty shades of green, such as that you will assume they died depicted in the garden photo at the top of said boredom before you even finished your questionthis page - credit {{God|Mommitude}}.
The '''grounded hog''', much like its totally unrelated animal kingdom friend (your Your {{hero), will be sure to eat and drink at every opportunity - in order or heroine}} needs to store fat reserves for later. The '''grounded hog''' prefers to hibernate, so finding one when not in combat is actually very rare. They are easiest to find when it's the second Tuesday of the third month on only have a leap yearreally nice looking, in a garden with the grass being exactly the height of an African swallow fully encumbered appearance (but no taller than a large herringfully packed backpack), and with various shrubbery consisting of the perfect mix words "I am friendly and come bearing hugs!" painted onto it. Each letter of at least fifty shades this message must be carefully painted in descending order of green, such as that depicted in the garden photo at the top of this page - credit {{God |Mommitude}}rainbow.
Your {{hero need only have a really nice looking, fully encumbered appearance (fully packed backpack) with the words "I am friendly and come bearing hugs!" painted onto it. Each letter of this message must be carefully painted in descending order of the rainbow.Your hero or heroine}} shalt then count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, the '''grounded hog''' will come out having felt sorry for your {{hero or heroine}} enough so that it feels compelled to travel with him or her for awhile, or that it has decided at least that for the time being at least, it has nothing better to do. Any deviation from this procedure will result in the '''grounded hog''' burrowing in order to hide, waiting to come back out until your {{hero or heroine}} is miles away. Therefore, it is far more likely that your {{hero or heroine }} found this particular pet companion whilst hiding from a noise that they assumed was a [[monster]], but of course they would never dare record '''THAT''' in their diary.
The '''grounded hog''' will eat their way through the trees, bushes, and grass much like a Tasmanian devil - only to try to make its way to the next stream in order to sleep all of that hard work off. The '''grounded hog''' will likely try to waddle away during its first opportunity to do so while the {{hero or heroine}} sleeps, unless it feels it has to take care of the {{hero or heroine}} much like it would one of its newborns in which case it will let your {{hero or heroine}} be in its glorious presence several months before trying to see if you can make it on your own without it.
Grounded Hogs will begin to float away like a balloon once they have eaten too much, with heavier ones going higher than hogs who have only eaten until they are full. They can also climb trees, wade through mud, walk tight ropes, delete spam emails before responding, make cute little foot-print cards perfect for any special occasion, and are gold medal winning Olympic swimmers.
Grounded Hogs enjoy random conversations in which they do not have to respond or contribute, shows only available on reruns and repeats, whistling, archeological dig sites, making fun of their woodchuck cousins, burrowing tunnels, mazes, and hiding from shadows. Grounded Hog Day is celebrated across Godville every February 31st.
== Attributes == === Strengths ===* Can create a burrow to hide in from stronger [[monsters]]* Will sometimes purr at your [[hero]] or even hug them, healing them for a few points* Can travel with your hero into the dungeon, and burrow past rooms with no visible exits* Will once in a very great while decide on their own to drag your unconscious hero as an absolute last resort (only once they are hungry, thirsty, or bored enough to do so)
=== Weaknesses ===* Scared of loud noises, shadows, winter, and most heroes* Likes to eat and sleep as much as your hero* Will most likely ignore your hero or heroine unless they feel sorry for him or her* Does not realize the hero is not one of its offspring
==Field Notes==
<gallery>
GroundedHog1.jpg|A grounded hog laughs at a {{hero or heroine}}.
GroundedHog2.jpg|A grounded hog tells a hero to stop, back away, and listen.
GroundedHog3.jpg|A grounded hog waits for their hero to get stitched up at the physician.
</gallery>
{{Navbox_rodents}}
{{navbox pets}}
219
edits

Navigation menu