Space Bar

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Current logo appearing on all Space Bar napkins and literature.

The Space Bar is one of Godville's many popular taverns and bars. It is not to be confused with the chocolate candy of the same name.[1]

General Information

Though most heroes know Space Bar only for its excellent tavern and waitstaff, it has an attached hotel and conference center equipped with all of the modern amenities. The hotel has 36 rooms, and guests receive keys labeled 0-9 or A-Z. Ballrooms are labeled with punctuation marks, precipitating the occasional mishap when an attendee of the Annual Godville Society of Gastro-Intestinal Surgeons Meeting wanders into the "Colon Room" always reserved by the Newland Learned Society of the Grand Tortellini for their monthly dinner. On the positive side, the "Period Room" has hosted all of the most eventful and influential masquerade balls in Godville's recent past.

History

Long before it expanded into the business edifice it is today, Space Bar began as a simple tavern and restaurant dedicated to the goal of supplying heroes, heroines, monsters, and other diners with the least-regretable dining experience in all of Godville. In this aim, the proprietors created the mystical technological keys they named only "CTRL," "CMD," and "Z." By immediate application of CTRL+Z (or CMD+Z, if the first combination did not work), waitstaff could undo any mistake or imperfect experience the customer ever suffered. This led to a spate of rave reviews and top marks awarded in all the most respected travel brochures.

Space Bar began expansion with the addition of its original function room in the basement (aptly named "lowercase"), along with the purchase of a catering company rebranded "Wings and Dings." Despite being panned for poor lighting, lowercase became a popular venue for wedding receptions and after-tournament barbecue wings parties. Wedding parties paved the way for the hostile takeover and development of the hotel property next door to the original tavern.

The conference and convention center, nominally the "Gertrude de la Fossey Memorial Center for Gatherings of Science,"[2] was built when the Agricultural Historical Society that had been protecting the cow pastures around the Space Bar Tavern and Hotel suddenly and spectacularly went defunct under suspicious circumstances. After purchasing the land, the Space Bar management entered a bid in the De La Fossey Center Grant competition, offering a venue for No-Bull Prize awards ceremonies, academic paper presentation conventions, and the display of De La Fossey art and artifacts in perpetuity. The bid won, and now Space Bar provides event space for free on 115 out of 365 days per year to organizations that prove themselves to have some connection to science.[3]

Advertisements

Space Bar usually occupies the largest number of billboards along the road of any tavern, and annually runs spectacular advertisement campaigns eagerly anticipated among billboard watchers. This began with the innocuous "Ahhh" campaign which featured famous merchants and bar staff collapsing onto capacious featherbeds, famous medical staff striking balletic poses in wide hallways, and famous heroes and heroines at bars that admitted both their elbows on the bartop without interference, all to the caption of "Ahhh, Space... Bar." Other campaigns that most Godville citizens will often remember with fondness or hilarity are:

  • "Deleted"-- Featured the billboards "Deleted: Your Worst Sales Day" and "Deleted: Questing Stress."
  • "CTRL Your Life"-- Featured the billboards "CTRL your Keynote Speech," "Master and CMDer," and "ALTer your Prospects."
  • "Done-geon"-- Featured the billboards "When You're Done with the Latest Batch of Heroes"[4] and "When You're Done with Resetting Traps."
  • "Font of"-- Featured billboards using multiple fonts and typefaces to caption images of famous heroes and heroines with such phrases as "Font of Wisdom," "Font of Humor," "Font of Blood," and "Font of Youth."

Known Attributes

Rooms

  • Memory Corner - Dining room. Reminder of founder's previous employment & place for heroes to remember lost pets.
  • lowercase - Underground function room for hire.
  • Ctrl Center - Owner's viewing room.
  • Carriage Return - Vestibule for awaiting transportation.
  • Space Bar - Dining room.
  • 0-9 and A-Z - Hotel rooms, where A-Z are rooms and 0-9 are suites.

Signature Drinks

  • F5 Lager
  • Night CAPSLOCK
  • Lager Spike

(Space Bar also sources a selection of drinks from Progress Bar and the Caravanserai.)

Pub Games Provided

  • The 'Any' Key-- This is not a dating game. It is, instead, a drinking game, where the ordering party is presented with an opaque cabinet with many small doors, and a jumble of keys. By a randomizing method devised by each party, players get "any" key, and must drink the liquid behind the door it unlocks. The waitstaff's hair-trigger response with CTRL-Z has prevented this game from ever resulting in injury or fatality.
  • Correction Ribbon-- Also referred to as "White Out," this is a drinking game that involves "correcting" a story passed around the table into more and more outrageous versions.
  • Darts, Cursors, and Carets-- Described as "a cross between lawn darts, checkers, and hopscotch."

Footnotes

  1. The trademark case has been appealed to the Godville Supreme Court, but all hearing transcripts and factual returns to date have been filed under seal.
  2. Gertrude's fondness for science, though funding the construction of the Space Bar conference and convention center through a gracious endowment grant outlined in her will, actually found greater expression in the achievements of her niece, Lady Dianne de la Fossey, discoverer of the Beer Cub.
  3. Some of these organizations have had a dubious connection to science, but management has vowed that as long as it will not turn away the local schools' participants in the annual "keep an egg dropped from 4 storeys in one piece" events, it will not turn away participants in "UFO and Atmospheric Propulsion Studies" either.
  4. This is often cited as the first confirmed public appearance of Elayne Kirschen, when she was still a rising dungeon boss.
Taverns and Bars
All Inn The Battle Toad Boatmurdered Caravanserai The Den of Iniquity The Drunken Clam Dunquestin The Glass Cannon Khaki-colored Dragon The Mended Drum Molotov's Cocktail Bar Progress Bar The Rumor Mill The Rusty Goblin Shepherd’s Stuff Space Bar The Sword & Sandal The Whinery