Smooth Criminal

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Monsters of Godville
Smooth Criminal
Criminalibus lubricus
Class Humanoid
Habitat Nightclubs
Description A suave lawbreaker

The Smooth Criminal (Criminalibus lubricus) is a monster known for lurking in nightclubs and wearing a fancy white suit.

General Information

Heroes instantly know they have encountered a Smooth Criminal because he'll always begin a fight by flipping a gold coin across the room and very skillfully landing it perfectly into the coin slot of a jukebox. Most heroes see that impressive display of skill and say "screw this, I ain't fighting you." Some heroes are not that smart.

The Smooth Criminal has two main forms of attack; the hit and the strike. If, per chance, a hero flees into a bedroom, the Smooth Criminal will use his strike down attack and that'll be the doom of the hero. So, don't run into a bedroom, duh.

Heroes who think they've been hit by a Smooth Criminal are advised to put a sign in the window.

The Smooth Criminal has been known to blow white billiards chalk powder into the eyes of heroes.

If a hero sneaks up behind the Smooth Criminal with a knife, the Smooth Criminal will just shoot the hero with a gun pushing the hero's body into the wall. Many brick walls of Godville are decorated with the outlines of heroes who didn’t know any better.

A hero who ran into the bedroom after encountering a Smooth Criminal.



  • Has quadruple striking power when attacking any hero named Ani
  • A snazzy dresser
  • Very skilled with shooting the Tommy gun
  • Can defy gravity with his killer lean
  • Can shatter windows with his "Aeow" attack


  • Can only come in through a window
  • When he comes in through a window, makes a ruckus as loud as a crescendo
  • Leaves bloodstains all over the carpet