Sharpest tool in the box

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Equipment of Godville
Sharpest tool in the box
Toolboy.jpg
A trader posing with his tool.
Worn 🗡️Weapon
Durability +74 to +78
Description The best of the rest.

The Sharpest tool in the box is one of the finest misused weapons in Godville.

A Blanket Term

In the old days of Godville, lived Herrom the giant. This savvy blacksmith kept a forge deep down in the lava rivers of San Satanos. It is said that many mechanical creatures were made by his hand, even that some deities comissioned him to craft unknown marvels.

Many years after Herrom died, a party of adventurers stumbled upon the giant's workshop and tomb while exploring a dungeon. Scholars from around the world flocked to study the forge, hoping to discover the legendary creations and how to build them anew; the taverns in San Satanos even had to dig more lodgings for the academics. But when they descended to the forge, found that the adventurers had already plundered and vandalized the place.

A war broke in the forge after a 1st grade student discovered a single hammer buried in rubble.

The "sharpest tool in the box" can be any of this stolen tools, ranging from a spear-like screwdiver to a thick pitchfork/wrench. Some even include square hammers, files and even chisels. Traders usually modify these tools to make them more alike to weapons. They sharpen the sharp ends, make them slimmer, add better grips, etc. But traders would never even touch Herrom's mark, as it is the only way to certify the weapon's origin. Not that heroes can focus beyond big, sharp and shiny weapon though.

Paladins usually just bash enemies with them without much thought. But some find out that this sharp rods can do more than stabbing, in the right hands this tool can detach pieces of an enemy's armor right in the middle of the fight. Some even swear that they can break shields in one strike, if we trust the heroines bragging about it.

The Song

A bard troupe called "Smash Mouth" references Herrom's tools in the first verse of their best hit, "All Star":

"Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed"

The shed they mention is Herrom's forge, they use this metaphor to say that the hero they're talking about is not the best of them all. This line sat well in the soil of pub songs, and many less famous songs like Whaaag!'s "My heart bleeds for you" or the obscure "Cell Aflame" by Mezdem's Succubus Choir used it. Ever since everyone calls this repurposed tools "sharpest tool of the box" (something was lost in translation).