Really long meter

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Artifacts of Godville
Really long meter
Type 💎Bold
Description To measure really long distances.

The Really Long Meter is a bold artifact that can be obtained in the miniquest "Determine the longest distance between point A and point B".


The Really Long Meter looks like a usual meter, but is way longer. Its length varies between one really long meter (in short: rlm) and one really long meter. Because of this huge difference it is hard to define, how long a rlm is; thus in many cases it is just repeated what was repeated before:

A Really Long Meter is longer than a Long Meter and shorter than a Damn Long Meter.

To be honest, there is not a lot to be added to this.

Known uses


In mathematics, especially geometry, the Really Long Meter is used to measure straight bends. It is commonly known that a straight bend with a stretch of d=1rlm is very straight, whereas a straight bend with a stretch of d=2rlm is not so straight.

Therefore, in mathematics a Really Long Meter is defined as the length of a straight bend, and as a straight bend is often seen as a line, the stretch of a line can be expressed as sline=1rlm. As we all know, by taking a bend instead of the direct line, we pass a longer way, thus s increases. s reaches its maximum when the bend is so bended it actually is a line. In that case we get sline=a lot rlm, so, with a bit of base maths, we get to the conclusion that 1rlm=sline=a lot rlm, therefore, 1rlm=a lot rlm.

What does this mean for our life?

First of all, be happy! Even if you only got one point in the exam, that still is a lot, right? Alright, that's probably the attitude heroes tend to have towards such things, but still, at least they're happy (due to the excessive use of alcohol, admittedly, but ... HAPPY!!)

In hero-ish life

As heroes tend to not to understand maths (and usually don't care, anyway), they[1] invented another use: Rideable pets answer the oftentimes asked question "How long is it still?" with a reference to the Really Long Meter - if they had it at paw.


The point of the Really Long Meter indeed being an artifact was often denied - people rather saw it as a metaphor. Nonetheless, heroes who still liked to sell them rejected this idea. The dispute ended quickly after it was established, which side had the sharper weapons.


  1. Actually it was their pets.