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Skills of Godville
A hero with a very high radiokinesis skill demonstrating his powers.
Type ⚔️Combat
Description Unknown

Radiokinesis is a combat skill allowing the user to absorb, control, and redirect radiation.

As with most skills, monsters and other heroes often mock heroes who only have a lower level of the radiokinesis skill. A common insult is "You call that radiokinesis? I received more radiation this morning from eating Brasil nuts!", "Stand still so I can tan the left side of my cheek.", and "You must like eating cold hot pockets."

At higher levels, heroes can control radiation causing damage and embarrassing effects on enemies (like diarrhea). Heroes can also protect themselves from their own radiokinesis effects of emitting radiation by wearing sunscreen.

A common tactic for blocking radiokinesis attacks is consuming potassium iodine tablets, though this prevents heroes skilled in the art of radiokinesis from absorbing radiation, which in turn prevents them from emitting the radiation necessary for the radiokinesis skill.

I sure showed the Guitar Hero that my "radiokinesis" skill isn't only used for cooking.


Levels 1-5

A hero learns how to say Radiokinesis without laughing like a small child.

Levels 6-10

A hero learns how to combine the word Radiokinesis with phrases such as "Don't make me hurt you with my skill of..." and "Back off before I cook you with my..."

Levels 11-15

A hero learns how to spell Radiokinesis without opening his diary to triple check the spelling.

Levels 16-20

A hero begins to notice when high levels of solar radiation hit him. In other words, he notices when he gets a tan.

Levels 21-25

A hero learns how to redirect solar radiation to opponents through the use of shiny objects. In other words, hero learns how to use a mirror to shine sunlight at an enemy.

Levels 26-30

A hero begins to control radiation in his body and can redirect one 0.1 μSv (a dose of radiation equivalent to eating one banana). Note, at this level and below, heroes often over-exaggerate the amount of damage their radiokinesis skill causes enemies.

Levels 31-35

A hero begins to emit enough radiation to trigger Geiger counters and upset airport personnel.

Levels 36-40

A hero can emit enough radiation to cause minor nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea in enemies.

Levels 41-45

A hero can emit enough radiation to cook a handful of popcorn kernels. Combined with butterkinesis (the ability to emit butter), this can be a very convenient skill—especially on a Friday night with friends.

Levels 46-50

A hero can emit significant doses of radiation; enough to cause skin burns and hair loss to enemies.