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|Habitat||Underserved territories and overdone rock concerts.|
|Description||Often wears tie-dye and masks its stench with patchouli.|
Sometimes asserted to be the corporeal half of the Ungrateful Dead, the Peace Corpse (Necromis pacificus) is the sworn enemy of the Godville Intelligence Agency.
Most people don't remember the Godville Intelligence Agency's unsuccessful Operation Summer Garland, the role it had in the recruitment of youthful residents of Vector Field, the many bureaucratic scraps it has had with the Godville Diplomatic Corps, or that undeclared safe house in Los Demonos that got blown wide open, but the Peace Corpse remembers. The Peace Corpse always remembers. It remembers, and is a militantly conscientious objector.
A Peace Corpse usually has the aspect of a strong, lanky, waspish, undead creature. Since it usually has a preference for tye-died or plaid flannel rags, sometimes has stickers of dancing teddy bears, and tends to whiff of patchouli and rot, many cryptozoologists believe it to be the corporeal remains of a creature that has spectrally become one of the Ungrateful Dead. That is where the similarities appear to end, however, as the Peace Corpse is undeniably service-oriented.
Water and water-related health issues are the way to the Peace Corpse's unbeating heart. Residents of underserved territories like Vector Field often find these monsters digging wells or clearing culverts and ditches. A roaming gang of them has been known to-- surreptitiously and nocternally-- fix a house's plumbing and septic field. One was discovered to be hand-pumping water for an entire school, and investigation showed that the previous pumping mechanism had been broken for a long time. As a result of this devotion to running and clean water, Peace Corpses tend to carry a canister of chlorine salts for the killing of any protist life forms.
This canister is a deadly weapon.
One thing that always gives the presence of the Godville Intelligence Agency away, is its use of the local water system. Whether tapping into sewers or boring secret wells, the Agency always uses and must dispose of a lot of water. When recruiting and training youthful volunteers for an incursion in the Qu'tox Ocean, the Agency needed to provide water and toileting for 187 recruits. The secret well lowered the regional water table below what most residents could reach, and a leaking retention pond allowed raw sewage to enter the groundwater. Such disruption drew the attention of the local Peace Corpse, who climbed out of his roadside ditch to follow the stench and hear the lamentations of the thirsty.
Discovery of the sewage retention pond puzzled the Peace Corpse, because it was not properly lined with cement and there were no graduated settling and filtration ponds associated. So he dug up the in-flow pipe, following it to an innocuous glacial moraine six paces by four paces by forty paces. Burrowing into the side of the mound, the Peace Corpse observed a set of youths on punishment detail, scrubbing the toilet bowls with ammonia and toothbrushes. He threw his canister of chlorine salts into the toilet bowls, and the resulting reaction flushed all of the youths and the GIA agents out of their concealed bunker. Townsfolk and territory inhabitants found youths who had been missing without word for weeks coughing and gagging in the woods. Lawsuits against the GIA resulted, and the assault on the Qu'Tox Ocean islands was canceled.
Where Heroes and Heroines Come Into It
At one time, shortly after the scandal of Los Demonos safe house, the GIA was short on staff, and so began randomly poisoning heroes and heroines, promising the antidote if the victim delivered encoded messages to towns around Godville. This was considered to be the least harmful option in the face of low recruitment numbers because, even if the hero or heroine failed to gain the antidote in time, a resurrection was just around the corner. Additionally, if Godville's enemies assassinated the hapless champion, the death could be passed off as a monster attack instead. Sweating, mildly ill, poisoned heroes and heroines do not look all that different than sweating, mildly ill, hungover heroes and heroines, so the camouflage turned out to be 100% successful for couriering secret messages. Against all except the Peace Corpse, that is.
As luck would have it, a poisoned hero staggered over to a drainage ditch beside the road and vomited onto a Peace Corpse quietly clearing a culvert there. This did not bother the creature; it simply nursed the hero with fresh water, judging him to be dehydrated. However, the letter the hero was carrying slipped from his life vest when he rolled to again expel, and the Peace Corpse recognized the watermark. Discovering the hero to be a tool of the GIA, the Peace Corpse killed him with a dose of chlorine salts and communicated to its brethren to kill and search all heroes and heroines for the messages they might be carrying.
The carnage continues to this day.
- Innate understanding of warfare using cleaning chemicals.
- Boundless strength.
- Immunity to running water.
- Recognizable odor.
- All-consuming hatred for the GIA.
- May seize up due to dryness if stranded in a desert.
Footnotes and Citations
- The attentive observer will note that this love of running water is in direct opposition to beliefs and observations of most undead creatures. Cryptozoologists have no comment at this time.
- Term used in respect for the majority opinion in the Supreme Court of Dogville in the case Vector Field Community Board of Direction v. Godville Intelligence Agency.