Paladjinn

From GodWiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Strong Monsters of Godville
Paladjinn
Djinnovium sanctus
Paladjinn.jpg
Strong Monster
Class Genie
Habitat Holy spaces and surfing beaches.
Description The most righteous of the djinni.

The Paladjinn is a monster that likes robbing caravans of gold bricks because the merchants "do not put them to holy use." Though he fights heroes and heroines, he would rather see the bricks in heroic hands so they end up building a temple.

General History

The Paladjinn is a djinn on a holy mission. A mission from whom, nobody is sure,[1] but it is definitely "holy." The main focus of this mission is gold bricks[2] and their use in a suitably sanctified manner. To date, temples, altars, churches, chapels, crypts, orphanages, sanctuaries, and charity clinics built of gold bricks have remained unmolested, but other forms of buildings have been torn apart.[3]

Heroes, heroines, and city guards first became aware of Paladjinni as a problem in approximately 1054 g.e., when a rash of night-time shop thefts broke out (or perhaps, "broke in"?) across Bumchester, and the only items stolen were gold bricks. At first, the heroic population came under scrutiny for acts of outright villainy beyond the pale of an evil alignment, and heroes and heroines everywhere were nightly locked into the pubs and bars they frequented. When this both failed to stop the thefts and successfully elicited outrage from the bartenders, the city guard set up watch at locations of repeated crime.

The first city guard to catch one of the thieves was initially tested for inebriation and substance abuse when she reported that the arrestee "turned into a cloud of smoke."[4] When subsequent pursuits and arrests yielded similar results, the captain of the city guard declared an emergency and called in the Godville Secret Police, who [REDACTED].

Successful identification of Paladjinni as the perpetrators of the thefts led to the implementation of anti-genie measures that largely forced the monsters to remain outside the cities. From there, heroes and heroines were called in to manage the population. However, inhabitants of the commercial districts should not feel entirely safe: Paladjinni will fight off the effects of the anti-genie measures for long enough to raid and destroy an "unholy" building made of gold bricks.[5]

Now, the Paladjinn's favored target is the gold brick caravan, denying merchants the capacity to move the gold bricks around for misuse. Caravan masters have hired extra guards, the Council of Caravanners offers semi-regular bounties on the worst Paladjinni offenders, and the Godville Society of Stevedores is commissioning research into making anti-genie measures portable.

Habits and Habitats

Other than during their raids on "unholy" buildings and brick caravans, Paladjinni have been found in two environments, one being holy spaces and the other being surfing beaches. These two habitats seem largely unconnected, except for the fact that they are inhabited by "righteous" people. Ongoing study into whether the Paladjinni themselves are righteous or only share an affinity with the righteous has produced no conclusive data at present.[6]

Unlike their cousins, Paladjinni display no pathological aversion to water, and sailors report seeing them splashing in the shallows with naiads and sea beasties. The best way to instantly tell the difference between a Paladjinn and a merman is to look for the Paladjinn's ever-present fedora and sunglasses.[7]

WARNING

A Paladjinn does not make wishes come true like a genie.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Boundless determination and dedication to a cause.
  • Keen sense of the sacred.
  • Profane mastery of "surfer speech."

Weaknesses

  • Poor vision at low light levels.

References and Footnotes

  1. The God of Monsters gave a rare interview to disavow any involvement with Paladjinni.
  2. Initially thought to be for saving an orphanage, but that orphanage has long since been saved.
  3. After an incident involving a hero-trader, we are now aware that an outhouse is not a holy enough building to be constructed of gold bricks. Flowers, cards, well-wishes, and beers may be sent to the Godville General Hospital, marked "Treat djinn-gerly."
  4. The guard later filed a grievance against the procedure that was used, and the resulting study directly led to the division of medicine and veterinary services into two different fields.
  5. Several insurance agencies have cautioned their customers against artistic stacking of pallets of gold bricks in order to avoid notice by Paladjinni. Most insurance companies now no longer cover "Acts of Djinn" in their policies.
  6. Chantilly, Dr. Remington. "Genies and Djinni: Their Habitats (a Map)," Lostway Academy Press. Lostway, 2000 g.e.
  7. Paladjinni wear their sunglasses at night and in other dark environments.
Strong Monsters
Domestica Alpha Centaur • Battle Hamster • Biowolf • Bipolar Bear • Blind Gorgon • Dandy Lion • Double Dragon • Dreaded Gazebo • Dust Bunny • Firefox • Godvilla • Grounded Hog • Gummy Wyrm • Heffalump • Landshark • Lightsaber-Toothed Tiger • OctoBear • Presidential Seal • Rocky Raccoon • Satan Claus • Solar Bear • Sun Dog • Thesaurus Rex • Trojan Horse • Were-Panther
Afrotheria Bald Mammoth • Hellaphant • Hellephant • Speed Sloth
Carnivora Nuclear Watchdog • Sandboxer • Tire Iron Lion
Euarchontoglires Adamant Atheist • Antihero • Bad Hobbit • Biological Nightmare • Boogie Woogie Man • Card-Carrying Villain • Chimpanzealot • Cliff Hanger • Criminal Master Mime • Cyber Punk • Damsel Distresser • Dotcommando • Enemy of the People • Epic Flailer • Evil Genius • Evil Twin • Feral Hero • Final Frontiersman • Full Metal Jackrabbit • Gaolkeeper • Godvillain • Gunboat Diplomat • Hanna-Barbarian • Hell's Bell-Ringer • Huggernaut • Ideaboxer • Industrial Revolutionary • Inedible Hulk • Inevitable Hulk • Jaw Broker • Leader of the Banned • Lip Smacker • Lost Viking • Master of Disaster • Monstrous Appetite • Nerd of Steel • Notary of Death • One-and-a-Halfling • Panic Attacker • Post-Mortem Artist • Principal of Darkness • Question Marksman • Registered Hex Offender • Sans Sheriff • Shooting Tsar • Sumo Ninja • Time Consumer • Undermaker • Warrior of Attrition • Whambulance Driver
Invertebrata Caterpillar of Strength • Crabomination • Giant Enemy Crab • Spice Worm • Sulphuric Aphid
Mechanica Enforcement Droid 209 • Exo-Skeleton • Giant-Shaped Windmill • Ice Borg • Ideabox Guardian • Nuclear Overreactor • Sawed-off Shogun • Sir Render • Synthetic Organism • Terminator T-34 • Tower Defender
Mythica Angel of Death Metal • Angel of Debt • Bulletproof Pest • Cantankerous Chimaera • Continental Drifter • Corporate Giant • Deer God • Devil Wearing Nada • Dust Devil • Electric Orc Welder • Game Overlord • Gas Giant • Gnomebreaker • Godville Administrator • Grammatical Terror • Great Caesar's Ghost • Great Divider • Hall Minotaur • Hellevator Operator • Holykeeper • Mind Boggler • Monster of Ceremonies • Motor Cyclops • Motorcyclops • Nature's Wraith • Non-Terminal Repeating Phantasm • Paladjinn • Romanticore • Sabertooth Fairy • Secret Satan • Security Chimera • Semi-Demi-God • Shock Therapist • Software Giant • Syntax Terror • Tentacula • Thundertaker • Traumaturge • Witch Hiker
Plantae Ent of the World • Fire Ent • Nuclear-Powered Plant
Reptilia Battle Rattlesnake • Bragon • Dragon With A Girl Tattoo • Fire Hydra • Formaldehydra • Grayscaled Dragon • Orthodontisaur • Tempered Glass Dragon • Tyrannosaurus-Ex
Ungulata Alpha Whale • Great Bull of Fire • Great Wight Shark • Hypnopotamus • Lava Lamb • Lightning Colt • Ne'er-do-Whale • Wrecking Bull