Navi-Gator
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| Navi-Gator | |
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So you’ve met the Navi-gator, eh? Looks like you’ve been directed to this page, and nobody’s better than the Navi-gator at giving directions. This monster always faces true north, which makes it have trouble defending against surprise attacks. However, its lightning-fast tail can sweep an approaching hero off their feet in seconds, so don’t get too comfortable!
Navi-gators are known to give directions after a fight. Sometimes, those directions are on the best route to the afterlife for our heroes (avoiding tolls). Other times, those directions are simply to the nearest town.
You’ll never get wrong directions from a Navi-gator—their teeth pick up signals from the Godville Positioning System (GPS), a system that broadcasts signals from satellites, wayward heroes, bored gods, and anything else in orbit. However, depending on how hard your hero hits them, they might not be up-to-date on road closures and slowdowns.
They tend to speak with a monotone female voice, regardless of gender. Favorite phrases include: “your route is being calculated,” “in two miles, make a slight right at the sign,” and “you will arrive at your destination NEVER,” followed by a powerful chomp at the hero.