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Monsters of Godville
Uaccam est ualle uolutus|
A Moss Cow at peak awesomeness
A very mystical cow|
There once was a cow that lived in Russia.
This cow had been living its life like it parents and siblings, digging through the snow to get the yummy grass underneath, huddling for warmth when storms came, and passing these traditions to cows who were passing by in trucks.
But one day, instead of trucks coming in full of foreign visitors, they were empty.
Not shortly after this cow had noticed this when the keepers of the land came to the farm and started to guide the cows, one by one, to the building next door.
The one that was rumoured to be heaven by the forefathers who had entered there and never returned. A place of pure peace.
All the cows were very excited, but some wanted to stay so that they may teach the newer cows to come their traditions and ways of life. But they did not succeed.
Eventually, all the cows were in this building. The darkness came when the doors closed, and mechanical whirring could be heard within. The last thing this particular cow saw was a device on a wooden stand that the keepers of the land put around what seemed to act as ears.
Everyone was afraid, and the cow thought maybe, if those weird ear things could stop the scary mechanical noises from being heard, it could be passed around to keep everyone a bit more calm before entering paradise.
After a good amount of fiddling around with the device, and a lot of shouting from out side the cow managed to pop the earphones onto its head, and blow its mind.
“What music was playing?” You ask? A metal track from a German band of course!
This made the cow jumpy, excited! It started to dance (and by dance I mean jump around in a very awkward way), bumping into one of the building’s supports causing the whole thing to crash.
Once most of the cows had gotten out of the rubble, they noticed that the scary noise was the mechanical doors malfunctioning, and behind those doors was the cows that had gone to heaven.
It didn’t take long until everyone had noticed that paradise was ruined, nor did it take long for them to point fingers (err... hoofs) at the crazy dancing cow and fault them for it.
They shunned him and banished him from their current home. But the cow did not hear nor notice that he was dancing farther and farther away from them.
Awhile after (roughly 48 minutes later), the cow had danced their way into Godville. And is teaching cows across the land of this wonderful music, a paradise and it’s traditions.
- Is immune to all insults due to being partially deaf and because of the earphones around it’s head
- Is unpredictable, swatting heroes in places that are sometimes not even physically possible
- Can head-bang any nearby structure to fall, causing all sorts of chaos
- Needs louder speakers embedded into their earphones every year, to ensure that they can efficiently hear the song
- If the earphones are broken it will stop battling and just walk away to get another pair, dropping all its loot to ensure a speedy getaway
- Trips on anything and everything falling also, on anything and everything