Liquid crystal ball

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Artifacts of Godville
Liquid crystal ball
Artifact-warehouse.jpg
Type 💎Bold
Description Unknown

The Liquid crystal ball is an artifact dropped by a variety of monsters including the Roger Robot. It was originally created by a Liquid Witch, a monster that quickly went extinct due to various causes including droughts, déjà vu, poaching, and déjà vu. Although it looks like a puddle of crystalline goop, it can be sold for a high price to some traders, who have great fun with crystalline goop mind you.

Some heroes foolishly attempt to drink liquid crystalline balls. Although they have a fairly high chance of survival, they suffer from a variety of embarrassing side effects, including:

  • Their mothers becoming so fat they spawn a series of jokes.
  • Their body parts randomly growing and shrinking.
  • Déjà vu.
  • Devolving to the intelligence of a goldfish (in this case the hero grows slightly smarter.)

Sometimes liquid crystal balls leak in the hero's pants pockets. In this case, immediately remove the aforementioned pants, run around and squawk like a chicken. This will save you from an unavoidable death.