|Description||Mighty and terrible|
The Knightmare (Eques equais) is a half knight, half horse monster with an insatiable bloodlust.
Long ago, the Knightmare was an honorable knight with a loyal horse. The knight traveled lands fighting evil, slaying dragons, rescuing fair maidens, and imposing justice on sinners. Through time, corruption of the world infused into his soul and the evil began to take over. His reckless lust for blood grew to a point where even he could not quench it.
To gain further power, the knight sold himself to the powers of the dark side. In exchange, Yoda fused the knight to his horse, thereby combining their strengths. His horse could run and carry him, and he would still be able to use his arms in a fight. In addition, they could now know exactly each other’s thoughts; allowing for perfect battle cooperation.
The Knightmare became so dedicated and focused on his bizarre bloodlust that he slaughtered all whom met his eyes; even his own family. As a well-known hero once said, "I ain't never goin' near them Knightmares again. They can beat you up and spit you out faster than you can say blibberblubber! They have them scary eyes. Just one look and you'll be screamin' an writhin' on the ground, afraid to get up. Then they attack. Just don't never go near them."
As time went on, the Knightmare traversed the world, gathering followers for his dark art. It was thought that none could stop them until they stumbled into Godville. Now, they spend their time terrorizing new lands while the heroes and heroines of Godville have taken on the courageous task of trying to eliminate their mutant kind. The monsters pack has broken up and spread all over the land, though, so in order to eliminate them one would have to go on a great journey, traveling far and wide. One would not be able to rest until the job was completed, either. These monsters are still constantly breeding and acquiring new members into their ranks, so their numbers grow even as heroes and heroine hunt them down and try to reduce the numbers.
When fighting Knightmares, heroes should be extremely cautious. They have lightning quick reflexes and razor sharp swords. Their hoofs also provide a powerful kick from under that heavy armor.
Knightmares also have the power to manifest dreams and distort them into nightmares. These nightmares include farting in class, nude public speaking, and waking up as cockroach. Heroes will wonder what was meaning to the nightmare causing them to lose faith in their god. Heroes will awake in a cold sweat feel as insignificant as a bug with no meaning in life. Although these nightmares are quite frightening for the feeble-minded hero, rest assured, all side-effects and hallucinations caused will go away shortly after the hero has slain the beast.
Also, do not call them Centaurs, as they are entirely different things and will instantly become infuriated upon being called such a title. It is also unwise to use the term "pony" when in the vicinity of these entwined entities.
Lastly, a weakness of the Knightmare is bribery. As they are so corrupted, a small coin donation could quickly extend a hero’s life.
- Two brains
- Dark powers
- Opposable thumbs
- Requires both hay and cooked meals
- Is easily distracted by carrots and apples.
|Monarchy||Arrestocrat • Grimelord • Hangoverlord • Ogrelord • Spelun King|
|Royalty||Carbon Foot Prince • Duke of Haphazard • Itch King • King of Clovers • King Thong • Ligerian Prince • Lying King • Prince Charmless • Prince Harming • Prince of Dorkness • Prince of Whales|
|Nobility||Baristocrat • Capitalist Overlord • Civil Warlord • Demoted Plutocrat • Evil Overlord • Game Overlord • Grime Lord • Ignobleman • Ineptocrat • LANlord • Lord of the Dunce • Lord of the Keyring • Marquis de Sad • No Man's Landlord • Noble Ghast • Oval Lord • Tribble Overlord|
|Chivalry||Arabian Knight • Boogy Knight • Crypto-Knight • Dark Stormy Knight • Dork Knight • Knight In Casual Clothes • Knight In Shining Armoire • Knight Who Says Ni • Knighting Gale • Knightmare • Lady's Knight • Late Knight • Live Saturday Knight • Neverwinter Knight • Not-So-Brave Knight • Prom Knight • Silent Knight • Sir Caustic • Sir Dance-a-Lot • Sir Render • Starless Knight • Swiss Army Knight • Wedding Knight|