Insufferable Boar

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Monsters of Godville
Insufferable Boar
InsufferableBoar.jpg
Class Pig
Habitat Forest of Disinterest
Totem for DraGoons Of Pretentious Evil
Description Feral pig with no personality

The Insufferable Boar is a wild pig known to have lulled several heroes into an eternal sleep.

Origins

The Insufferable Boar was not always so boring, so insufferable. Nay, it once ran freely with other, more sufferable boars, but over time grew world-weary. It had been there and done that, and so while other boars roam free, enjoying the gentle caress of the breeze, the Insufferable Boar sits at home eating pizza rolls and watches reruns of black and white shows. Specifically plain pizza rolls, and nothing else.

Appearance

Unfortunately, an Insufferable Boar is difficult to identify until it invites you over but then has nothing to do or anything interesting to talk about. It is in this moment, when you can't leave because it would be awkward, but couldn't possibly stand any more uninspired conversation, that it strikes. While most heroes drift into an irreversible stupor, those that have miraculously maintained consciousness report a stunning oneness with the empty, frigid expanse of the universe.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Thick hide and blasé attitude make it difficult to wound
  • Cynical worldview makes conversation painful

Weaknesses

  • If you bring a DVD over, the Insufferable Boar will insist it is terrible Hollywood trash, but will eventually put it on for lack of anything better to do. This will provide some life-sustaining entertainment, and perhaps create a chance to escape.