Djonni

¶

POLONIUS: (aside) Though this be madness, yet there is method in ’t.

POLONIUS: What do you read, my lord?

HAMLET: Words, words, words.

POLONIUS: What is the matter, my lord?

HAMLET: Between who?

POLONIUS: I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.

HAMLET: Slanders, sir. For the satirical rogue says here that old men have gray beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their eyes purging thick amber and plum-tree gum, and that they have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams—all which, sir, though I most powerfully and potently believe, yet I hold it not honesty to have it thus set down; for yourself, sir, should be old as I am, if like a crab you could go backward.

— Hamlet, II ii

2/6

Vitalstatistix

Deities of Godville

Sir Djonni 庙舟畜  the Reasonably Capable
Champion	Djonniboy
Personality	Adjective
Gender	Divine
Domain	God of perfectly shaped spoons
Motto	In ƒor a penny! ✔
⚜️Guild
The Forsakens Lament
Guild position	Avatar of Lust; Daily Bugler; Speling Expirt
Guild rank	Prophet
Membership	637 days
🏆Pantheons
Gratitude	17th , 330 gratitude points
Templehood	11159th , Jan 23 2015
Storytelling	3rd , 4.28 from 221
Pantheon Goals
Gratitude	Next position: 16th, 337 points
Storytelling	Next position: 2nd, 4.32 average
⚔️Champion 웃
Djonniboy the Inadequately Stupid
Level	89
Class	Bard 8, Fighter 2, Alcoholic 10, Drunken Philosophy Master (Prestige) 69
Deaths	65 more-or-less glorious deaths
Preferred Weapons	Bartenderizer Mace of Amnesia
🐾 Pet 畜
Oy
Class	Satan Claus
Personality	Splendid
Level	8
Age	36 days
⛩️ Temple 庙 First brick laid 13th of March, 2014 Completion 23rd of January, 2015 Roof fund 8M, 416k
🏴‍☠️ Ark 舟
The Dawn Shadow
Christened	2nd of March, 2019
Hull	100
Population	Ouroboros the Ever-Snuffling (🎞️) Tenacious, gummy wyrm, lvl 30
Empty stable
Empty stable
Creatures: 511m, 515f

January 2020: My family in Australia has been affected by the bushfire crisis, and my home in Australia has been destroyed by fire, including almost everything I own. I'll be travelling extensively throughout January into February, and my availability and Godwiki presence will be unpredictable. I may be too busy or sad to do much; on the other hand, it may be a valuable distraction at difficult times. So who knows?

---

July 2019: Returning from a ~6 month absence. Catching up on messages and what's happened. Sorry if I haven't been responding for, y'know, half a year.

---

April 2018: Returning from a ~3 year absence I'm pleased to see I've cheerfully overshot the Honoured Renegade achievement, and still have a top-50 position in a couple of Pantheons! Getting to grips with the many changes and improvements before I become too active again. For all those that have contacted me over the last few years, my apologies for the very, very late replies.

---

I am in Canberra, Australia, so UTC+10 the Czech Republic, so UTC+1 Australia, UTC+10.

I will happily usually give feedback on chronicles if asked nicely, but please see January 2020 note above.

In fact, I will pretty happily help with anything if asked nicely, if RL doesn't get in the way.

I am mostly active in the Workmen's Area and Main Square. It's not that I don't like roleplaying, I just don't have enough time for it :)

Things Wot I Dun

Idiot boxing

Hero

Quest

#1

Have an idea accepted for every category

Total progress: 52.9% (83/157)

• To fix a bug ✔ 9 Mar ’15 ✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔

• Awesome ideas ✔ 8 Nov ’18 10/10

• Greetings ✔ 6 Aug ’19

Hey, ho, let's go %god_name%!

• Towns ✔ 24 Apr ’18 ✔✔

Next Station — Bad Gateway (at milestone 502)

Not in game: Graveston

• Pet names ✔ 20 May ’18 ✔✔✔

Confirmed: Thumper — Snuffles — Chip — Null.

• Taverns ✔ 7 May ’18 ✔✔✔✔

Confirmed: Caravanserai — Dunquestin — The Sword & Sandal — The Glass Cannon — The Rumor Mill

• Notifications ✔ 7 Oct ’14 ✔✔✔🙅

Upon death: "Dead? Again? Take your time, I could use the rest!"

Upon death: "Another opportunity to be resurrected! Yay!"

Upon leveling up: "A level older, and yet no wiser."

Upon arrival in town: "Through the gates of %town%..."

Approved 15 Nov 2018, and then cruelly un-approved an hour or two later!: "Finally, the %artifact_base% I've always wanted!"

• Boss mottos ✔ 8 Nov ’18 ✔

Confirmed: "You killed my father!"

Unconfirmed: "Simply the beast!"

• Death Rattles ✔ 5 May ’18 ✔✔✔✔

Confirmed: "A plague o' both your houses!" — "One to beam up!"

Unconfirmed: "I'm melting, melting!" — Special death rattle for Interrupting Cow: "MOOOOOOOO!" — "I got blisters on my fingers!" (The final line from Helter Skelter by the Beatles. From Wikipedia: After take 18, Ringo Starr threw his drum sticks across the studio and screamed, "I got blisters on my fingers!" Starr's shout was included on the stereo mix of the song.)

• Territories ✔ 13 Nov ’18

Confirmed: The Valley of the Blind

• Quest Endings ✔ 31 Jan ’15 ✔✔✔

• Other ✔ 18 Mar ’15 ✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔

• In memoriam Terry Pratchett, author who inspired Godville, I humbly suggest that Godville might make a small change to its Apache config as per this suggestion: https://www.reddit.com/r/discworld/comments/2yt9j6/gnu_terry_pratchett/
• Searchable blog entries
• Category filters in Ingenious pieces and Approved submission
• "Accept" and "Reject" actions on sparring fight notifications
• Improved feedback in godvoice too long errors
• Equipment category shown in ideabox submission confirmation

• Diary entries 71.8% 28/39

• Random occurrences 63.6% 7/11

• While traveling ✔ 22 Jan ’15 ✔✔✔✔✔✔

77 5 0  2  6 Oct ’18: I'm just a stone's throw from %nearby_town% here. I really wish the guards would quit doing that.

• During a fight with a monster ✔ 26 Apr ’14
• While hero is dead ✔ 29 Jan ’15 ✔
• While healing ✔ 20 Feb ’15 ✔✔
• While trading ✔ 3 Jul ’18

• While resting ✔ 8 Jul ’14 ✔✔✔✔✔

74 42 1  –  22 Mar ’15: The folks at the guild have given me a cute nickname! They're calling me “%hero_name% Three Giggles” because I laugh when they tell a joke, again when they explain the joke, and again later when I get the joke.

• While sleeping

• While praying ✔ 10 Sep ’18

79 8 0  2  10 Sep ’18: I am as certain of your love, %rg%, as I am the sun will rise tomorrow. So it's, like, 50/50.

• During temple construction
• While waiting for an arena opponent
• For a hero-trader

• Events 83% 15/18

• On meeting a strong monster ✔ 7 Feb ’15 ✔

• On fleeing from the monster ✔ 8 Apr ’18 ✔

81 10 0  4  1 Jul ’18: Ah, %some_territory%. A beautiful place to go for a run. From the %monster%.

86 7 1  4  8 Apr ’18: They say that success requires blood, sweat, and tears. Well, so does desperate, panicked fleeing from an angry %monster%.

• On death from the monster ✔ 26 Jul ’18 ✔

83 16 1  4  26 Jul ’18: Violets are blue, roses are red, the %monster% has won, this hero{ is|ine's} dead.

84 15 0  2  26 Jul ’18: Killed by a mere %monster%, can you even imagine? Mortifying!

• On defeating the monster ✔ 6 Nov ’14 ✔✔✔✔✔✔✔

108 4 0  5  23 Apr ’18: Took me over an hour to bury the %monster%. it would have been much quicker, but it just wouldn't lie still.

100 10 2  4  17 Apr ’18: When the %monster% died I was overwhelmed with emotion. But I consoled myself with its %artifact%, and I'm the right amount of whelmed again now.

• On loss of the artifact ✔ 12 Apr ’18 ✔

78 8 0  3  10 Jun ’18: Now, accounting for the headwind, and assuming gravity is constant, starting from an angle of forty-five degrees, by my calculations the %artifact_base% is... gone.

109 17 0  6  12 Apr ’18: Synced my %artifact_base% with the clouds. It didn't come back down.

• On resurrection

• On turning back to town (to heal) ✔ 7 Jun ’18

91 6 0  4  7 Jun ’18: They've lit the beacon above “%some_tavern%”! The beer calls for aid, and %hero_name% will answer!

• On turning back to town (to sell) ✔ 21 Feb ’15

• On spending gold in a town ✔ 8 Jul ’19 2/2

• Wasting gold ✔ 5 Feb ’15 ✔

81 10 1  4  12 Jul ’19: Spent %gold% on a bunch of camouflage gear and now I have no idea where it is.

• Purchasing equipment ✔ 8 Jul ’19

71 10 0  4  8 Jul ’19: I had the required components to craft this %equipment% at the blacksmith's! The required components were %gold%.

• On donating/sacrificing while praying in town

• On selling of an expensive artifact ✔ 24 Feb ’15 ✔

86 3 0  4  3 Jul ’18: The %artifact_base% shipment was delayed by a week, so the trader offered %gold% for mine.

• On finishing selling off the loot ✔ 21 Mar ’15

• On getting a new quest ✔ 17 Jul ’14 ✔

61 12 0  2  30 Aug ’18: A sinister man instructed me to %quest%, then whispered, “whatever means necessary”. I'm pretty sure it doesn't, but I'll do my best anyway.

• On depositing savings ✔ 8 Apr ’18 ✔

90 12 0  5  18 Jul ’18: They're fussy at the %current_town% bank. They made me wash all the blood and guts off my %gold% before accepting them.

94 5 0  6  8 Apr ’18: I completely forgot why I walked into the bank. I reluctantly deposited %gold% gold out of embarrassment.

• On aura end

• On arrival to town ✔ 20 Jul ’18 ✔

66 9 0  2  22 Aug ’18: Turns out, when you say, “What're ya gonna do about it?” to the %town% gate guards, the answer is, “Take your %artifact_base% at swordpoint.”

81 19 0  3  20 Jul ’18: The %current_town% gate guards demanded a password to let me in. It was “admin”.

• Fishing ✔ 28 May ’18 ✔

73 12 0  3  10 Oct ’18: I easily caught a perfect gold brick, but there was just something fishy about it. Threw it back.

102 6 0  2  28 May ’18: I guess this is why they call it fishing, not catching. Better get back on the road.

• Influence related 55.6% 5/9

• Voice from own god ✔ 10 May ’14
• Voice from some other god
• Response to a god voice ✔ 6 Feb ’15
• Encourage influence response ✔ 9 Mar ’15
• Punish influence response
• Miracle influence response
• Guild miracle in town
• Making a brick with an influence ✔ 7 Sep ’14 ✔
• On ignoring the god voice ✔ 19 Feb ’15 ✔

• Others ✔ 7 Sep ’14 ✔✔✔✔✔✔

86 20 0  3  1 Jan ’19: I have a problem with prepositions. Sometimes I just don't know what else to end a sentence with.

Awesome Idea, no voting 6 Sep ’19: [Autumn] Diary entry for finding mushroom: %pet_name% snuffled at the roots of an oak tree, and dug up %artifact%.

• Earthly News 61.5% 16/26

• Random Occurrences 50% 6/12

• When traveling ✔ 5 Feb ’15
• When healing ✔ 9 Mar ’15 ✔✔

• When resting in a town ✔ 19 Mar ’15 ✔

78 14 1  2  2 Sep ’19: Trying to find %pet_name%'s Do Not Disturb mode...

• During temple construction
• When selling loot
• Waiting for... 2/4

• Arena ✔ 25 May ’14
• Dungeon

• Sail ✔ 8 Apr ’18

73 15 0  3  8 Apr ’18: Giving inches and taking nautical miles...

• Datamine

• When waiting for resurrection
• When praying ✔ 5 Feb ’15
• When fishing

• Monster Fight 66.7% 4/6

• When meeting a monster ✔ 8 Mar ’15
• When fighting a monster ✔ 24 Feb ’15

• When hitting the monster ✔ 26 Apr ’19 ✔

49 13 0  2  26 Apr ’19: Cutting the %monster% into ingenious pieces for %hp%...

69 12 1  4  23 Aug ’19: Plucking the monster's feathers for %hp%...

• When hit by the monster ✔ 20 Mar ’15
• When defeating a monster
• When fleeing from fight

• Transportation ✔ 2 Dec ’19 100% 3/3

• "Searching for the right path via..." ✔ 2 Dec ’19

81 11 0  4  2 Dec ’19: Searching for just the right snow-covered hill to sled down...

• "Through the mires and swamps..." ✔ 18 Feb ’15 ✔✔✔✔

78 13 1  4  14 Apr ’18: Through the paragraphs and passages...

51 24 1  3  26 Jul ’19: Through perihelions and aphelions...

72 14 1  2  28 Aug ’19: Through the pain with negligible gain...

69 11 0  2  1 Dec ’19: Through air quotes and ellipses...

• When returning to a town ✔ 18 Feb ’15 ✔

52 29 0  5  10 Jun ’18': Preparing for the wurst...

• Others 60% 3/5

• Remote control action response ✔ 24 Feb ’15

• Searching for the hero ✔ 5 Feb ’15 ✔

32 27 1  3  7 Aug ’18: Shouting “Hey hero{|ine}!” until we get a response...

• Hero-trader: waiting
• Hero-trader: trading
• Other ✔ 7 Mar ’15

• Duels 14.3% 2/14

• Fight Log 11.1% 1/9

• Hero hit
• Hero miss
• Use of a skill
• Random phrase
• Boss hit
• Boss miss
• Duel start
• Duel end
• Other ✔ 27 May ’14 ✔

• Influences 20% 1/5

• Encourage
• Punish
• Miracle
• God voice
• Reaction to a god voice ✔ 7 Jun ’14

• Dungeons 12.5% 2/16

• Rooms 50% 2/4

• Empty room ✔ 8 Apr ’18 ✔✔✔

63 15 0  3  8 Apr ’18: This exact text writes itself onto the walls as the heroes enter the room.

99 6 0  10  12 Apr ’18: Sinister forces are at work here, and don't even look up when the heroes come into the room. Possibly my most popular Ideabox submission ever, with 10 ER votes.

89 9 0  7  27 May ’18: The walls have alcoves dug into them full of peculiar bones, mysterious mummified shapes, and unfathomable offerings to the dead. How cryptic.

67 18 0  3  20 Jul ’18: The floor of this room is a carpet of cold, half-drunk cups of tea.

• Hint room ✔ 6 Apr ’18

76 9 0  3  6 Apr ’18: A senile old man describes a great treasure to the %dir%, and then immediately describes a great treasure to the %dir%.

• Trap room
• Bonus room

• Directions 0% 0/2

• Available directions
• Heroes move to

• Events 16.7% 1/6

• Descend into dungeon
• Boss nearby hint
• Boss encounter
• Treasure room

• Rare random event ✔ 10 Jun ’18

64 8 0  6  10 Jun ’18: %attacker% hears faint echoes of children laughing, but nobody else does.

• Other

• Influences 0% 0/4

• Encourage
• Punish
• Miracle
• God voice

• Sail 0% 0/21

• Islands 0% 0/6

• Empty island
• Food supplies
• Ark repair
• Pray shrine
• Booty hint
• Lighthouse

• Beasties 0% 0/3

• Appear
• Death no loot
• Death with loot

• Pirating 0% 0/3

• Battle start
• Battle end
• Battle flee

• Influence 0% 0/4

• Encourage
• Punish
• Miracle
• God voice

• Others 0% 0/5

• Sail start
• Sail end
• Booty/maniman/fenimal
• Vortex
• Other

• Quests 75% 3/4

• Ordinary ✔ 24 Jan ’15 ✔✔✔

Not in game: find the square root of the tree of life; arrange a bag of M&Ms in alphabetical order; sneak into a ninja convention; test the security of the Godville Treasury

• Epic ✔ 13 Jun ’14

Not in game: make a complete map of Godville

• Mini

• Side Job ✔ 12 Nov ’18

Confirmed: wear n different auras

• Monsters ✔ 17 Jan ’15 100% 4/4

• Normal ✔ 17 Jan ’15 ✔

Not in game: Gym Reaper — Repatriarch (43 31 0  2  1 Dec ’18)

On the other hand, accepted as equipment but in game as a monster: Trouble Shooter

• Beasties ✔ 4 Dec ’18

Unconfirmed: Strangler Fish (36 40 1  2  4 Dec ’18)

• Seasonal ✔ 11 Nov ’18 ✔✔✔✔

I'm especially proud of: 🦌Basher the Reindeer — 🦌Blunder the Reindeer — 🦌Brewpid the Reindeer — 🦌Gruedolf the Reindeer — 🦌Lancer the Reindeer (Submitted as Awesome Idea, so no voting data.)

• Bosses ✔ 10 Jul ’19

Unconfirmed: Bossanova (32 27 1  3  10 Jul ’19)

• Artifacts 66.7% 2/3

• Ordinary ✔ 29 Apr ’14 ✔✔✔✔

Confirmed: bunch of baloney (36 37 0  3  2 May ’18) — region lock (27 36 0  2  30 Jun ’18)

Not in game: plans for world domination — push notification — article of incorporation — bottle of thought cleanser (53 21 0  3  14 Oct ’18) — helluva thing (35 46 0  3  11 Aug ’18)

• Activatable ✔ 29 Aug ’14 ✔✔✔✔

Not in game: Career assignment chip (@) (grants mini-quest) — Cache prize (@) (like bag of trophies) (51 22 0  4  11 Aug ’18)

Unconfirmend: Dining shroom (@) (Autumn mushroom) — Mush-potato (@) (Autumn mushroom) (Autumn mushroom) (Submitted as Awesome Ideas, so no voting data. 6 Sep ’19)

Confirmed: Serious truffle (@) (Autumn mushroom) (Awesome Ideas, no voting data. 6 Sep ’19)

• Healing

• Equipment 85.7% 6/7

• Weapon ✔ 6 Aug ’14 ✔✔

Submitted as equipment, in game as a monster: trouble shooter

Not in game: starboard bow — awful racquet

• Shield

• Head ✔ 20 Jul ’18

Not in game: moral compress (49 31 0  2  20 Jun ’18)

• Body ✔ 19 Mar ’15

Confirmed: security breeches

Not in game: sweater vestment (37 35 0  3  30 Sep ’18)

• Arms ✔ 8 Feb ’15

Confirmed: puffy pirate sleeves

• Legs ✔ 20 Feb ’15 ✔

Confirmed: corduroy ninja outfit

Not in game: foot note¹ (52 24 0  6  27 May ’18)

• Talisman ✔ 9 Oct ’14 ✔✔✔

Submitted as equipment, in game as an artifact: short fuse

Confirmed: karma police badge

Not in game: offensive flag — compass rose

• News for the Newspaper 66.7% 8/12

• By-Line ✔ 10 Mar ’15 ✔✔✔✔✔✔

Elementary, my dear Godville • Godville, we have a problem • Straight from the purse • Papercut-proof edition • Women and children first • Go ahead, laugh • Don't encourage us

• Weather Forecast

• Famous Heroes ✔ 9 Mar ’15

Could {|s}he be %random_town%'s most eligible bachelor{|ette}? Our correspondents say, “No.”

• Wanted Monsters ✔ 12 Mar ’15 ✔

The Furriers Guild is offering a gold brick reward for any %random_monster% captured dead or alive, but only if definitely not alive.

The Transcendentalist Society announces a reward for anyone brave enough to retrieve the venom sac from a mature %monster% in time for tomorrow's session. Fresh or dried acceptable.

• Guild Spotlight ✔ 10 Jun ’18

%guild_name% is in the %v% position in the %pantheon%, unlikely though it seems. Some of the %v% members have been heard calling each other “%high_level_rank%”.

• Buy and Sell ✔ 22 Feb ’15 ✔

An urgent recall had been issued on any %artifact_base% sold since 1750 g.e. A reward for their return is being offered to prevent any further deaths.

A new cap-and-trade scheme on %artifact_base% production has led to a price spike. Sellers are invited to apply for registration for the scheme at any authorised agency.

• Ads

• Ideabox News 2/3

• Submissions
• ER contribution ✔ 6 Mar ’15

%god_name% has been heard complaining about the cost of red pens from all {his||her} ER editing.

• Ideabox contribution ✔ 1 Jul ’18

At this rate, %god_name% will soon have enough ingenious pieces to make an entire ingenious.

• Breaking News

• Copyright Statement ✔ 24 Feb ’15 ✔✔✔✔

It was the best of Times, it was the worst of Times.

I'm held prisoner in the printer's warehouse, please send help.

Ignore the man behind the curtain.

By reading this sentence you agree to read this sentence.

Printed using fully recycled content.

Accepted corrections: 69

Hero

Side Job

Collect 70 accepted corrections

Accepted Others (excl. conversions): 7

IQ points converted: 2000

Wikipedantry

Section retired. I wasn't maintaining the list meaningfully. And how does one define what's significant enough? I do enough around here to pat myself on the back.

Pat pat.

Pat pat.

Things Wot I Dint Dun

To-Do

This is mostly for me, and out of date anyway, but... you may look.

• Creators_Manual#Images: Change the guide so it's link first, then upload. Infoboxes. Copyright.
• Complete this to-do list.
• Rewrite Boss-monsters#Dungeon_Boss-Monster_Classes such that it no longer references classes at all. Done 14 November 2018
• Linkify every single entry in Omnibus List. 3 November 2018 (UTC) (Done () and undone as it made the page unusable on mobile)
• Integrate Omnibus List's monsters, equipment, and skills with the corresponding List ofs.
  • ^NewEnough time has passed now that List of Artifacts will need re-doing.
• Update the below list of Favourite rejected ideas (or delete it). Removed, possibly forever.
• Create an article for every page missing in {{Navboxtaverns}}.
• Extensive rewrite of the Godwiki Guidebook and all related Creators Manual pages: These were overhauled by User:WardPhoenix (amazing), have to read through his great work!
  • Improve plain-english explanations of the how-to bits as much as possible.
  • Improve information available to mobile users (perhaps make use of {{sign}} to highlight mobile-only advice?)
  • Guideline regarding mixing masculine and feminine pronouns/protagonists? Good idea, bad idea? (See brief discussion
• Continue slogging through updates to History. Haven't done a rigorous check, but this appears to be up-to-date now.
• Point of interest hasn't been done yet. (ref. Shrines is relevant.) Something interesting moved (written and moved by S624  ).

* Figure out how to structure the seasonal events, and sort out the horrible navbox I made.

• April fools:
  • 2018: Dante's Inferno writes itself into the diary
  • 2017: Heroes and heroines give artifacts to monsters
  • 2016: Voicy bingo (bingo replacement)
  • 2015: Auras of Censorship
  • 2014: Hotness dungeon hints, Stickers
  • 2013: Tribbles
  • 2012: Auras of Confusion
  • 2011: I'm feeling lucky

To-Didn't

!Favourite rejected ideas↻

This space intentionally left blank. I'll repopulate this list one day. Probably, possibly, maybe.

Things Wot I Is

Juliet Whiskey
Foxtrot X-Ray
Papa Romeo

---

This may sound like gibberish to you, but I think I'm in a tragedy.

— Harold Crick

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On average, I'm a good person. What more can you hope for?

---

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

— Elie Wiesel

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Specialties: Marginalia; Verve and gusto

---

Les grandes personnes m’ont conseillé de laisser de côté les dessins de serpents boas ouverts ou fermés, et de m’intéresser plutôt à la géographie, à l’histoire, au calcul et à la grammaire. C’est ainsi que j’ai abandonné, à l’âge de six ans, une magnifique carrière de peintre. J’avais été découragé par l’insuccès de mon dessin numéro 1 et de mon dessin numéro 2. Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamais rien toutes seules, et c’est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours leur donner des explications.

— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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I'm a word nerd. Aren't you?

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We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us.

— Francois de La Rochefoucauld

---

Every time I hear the word ‘underlay,’ my brain silently shouts, “¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!”.

Also, when I read ‘rofl’, in my head it sounds like Scooby Doo saying ‘waffle’.

---

Lord protect this rocket house, and all who dwell within this rocket house.

— Homer Simpson

---

Sometimes I have a narrator in my head. He usually sounds like Morgan Freeman. Sometimes, though, it's Patrick Stewart. When I'm particularly tired or something, they meld together.

I have no idea to this day what those two Klingon ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't wanna know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it cannot be expressed by a Universal Translator, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared boldlier and farther than any life form in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird transported into our drab little cage and made those shields dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last humanoid on the Enterprise felt free.