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Monsters of Godville
Cherno bull.png
Class Bovine (mutant).
Habitat Radiant godpower waste dumps.
Description Bovine usually bearing two or more heads, five or more legs, or two or more bodies, and is capable of passing these traits to its offspring.

The Cherno-Bull is a bovine monster most often seen haunting the edges of the radiant godpower waste dumps dotting Godville's landscape. Believed to be descended from regular cows that just happened to settle in the wrong place (or possibly from Red Bulls that took their vendetta too seriously), these creatures are marked by their fully-functional and genetically-viable mutations that result in numbers of heads, bodies, and limbs exceeding the norm.


Cherno-Bulls were not spotted in the wilds of Godville until the population of deities reached a critical threshold sometime in the latter 1900s g.e. The deities at this point were flinging enough divine power at such a prolific rate, that it leftover scraps expended but not used in the commission of encouragements, punishments, and miracles could not dissipate into the surrounding environment due to saturation. Pooling godpower began to be noticed at common points along the road where skirmishes were then fought, and it tended to take the form of a xeniplasmic slime coating plant and animal life that grew in or wandered through the areas. Heroes began to avoid these areas,[1] as did wild animals with any common sense, and the grasses and forbs there grew long and lush without predation. Farmers noticed these tempting spots, and turned out their livestock to forage.

At first, the livestock flourished with the same health that the the plants displayed. It wasn't until subsequent years and breeding seasons that ill effects presented themselves. The plants grew into briars and oddities. The cattle gave birth to calves of unusual conformation.

Where many mutations in cattle produce non-functional features, such as a third horn, a dangling foot attached to a hip, or a forked tail, and subsequent generations do not exhibit the same traits, a Cherno-Bull is marked by its extra limbs, bodies, and heads being fully functional and genetically spread.[2] These creatures are usually aggressive and short-tempered, possibly out of the frustration of having two minds struggling for control over the same body, or having to organize the movement of far too many legs. They are considered mortally dangerous to their handlers. Frightened farmhands have been known to let Cherno-Bull calves out of their paddocks, and then report to their employer that the creature had been killed by wolves.

A subset of Cherno-Bulls is red in fur and feature. Though it is possible that these are the result of a Cherno-Bull breeding a red cow, heroic reports of Red Bulls adamantly haunting radiant godpower dumps provides an alternative explanation.[3]



  • Two heads are better than one.
  • More legs? The better to trample a hero with.
  • A cat o'nine tails had nothing on a bull o'nine tails.


  • Prone to tripping over its own 5+ feet.


  1. It is sometimes suggested that these areas originated the diary entry, "Saw a hero ignoring a 'Keep off the Grass' sign. There was a scream, and the grass burped." Ethical complications have prevented study of this phenomenon for confirmation.
  2. A disturbing trend has arisen among Cherno-Bull enthusiasts for attempting to breed the most complex mutations. This illegal hobby has been deemed animal abuse by the Roflopolis Animal Protection Society (RAPS), and showing rings are ruthlessly broken up by the town guards in each city, but rumors have emerged that one breeder has successfully created a "paper doll" Cherno-Bull of four bodies, eight heads, eight tails, and sixteen limbs.
  3. At this time, studies of radiant godpower's impact on a Red Bull's butterflies are inconclusive.