Catch the worm before the early bird

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Quests of Godville

📘Quest

#1
Catch the worm before the early bird
What will come first? The early bird or the heroine?
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One of the earliest quests in Godville, the quest to catch the worm before the early bird has endured many rewritings, cullings, and additions. Proud is the heroine who claims the invertebrate-- prouder even than the catcher of a carousel ring.

General Information

The quintessential quest to catch the worm before the early bird is often put forward along with strike an immovable object with an unstoppable force as a candidate for what the heroes and heroines are actually doing when they go to complete the mother of all quests. This quest has, indeed, been documented in "The Historic Archive of the Registry of Quests"[1] as one of the oldest quests completed by heroes and heroines.

The reason for the original heroine desiring to catch the worm before the early bird was not recorded for posterity, but subsequent heroines have given varied explanations:

  • "That jerk woke me after an all-night bender with its dreadful singing in the tree outside my room. This is payback."
  • "Well, you know what they say: enough worms, and you can make spaghetti."
  • "Mmmm... protein."[2]
  • "The monks and nuns have been all over me about the temple garden's soil being awful. Worms help that, right?"
  • "Night crawlers make the best fishing bait."
  • "None of your bees' wax."
  • "Pretty sure my next quest will be to appease the shadowy mole counsel. Might as well get a head start on appeasing them."
  • "Striking a blow for worm-kind!"

Tips for Completion:

  • Always return evidence to the questgiver before fishing with it.[3]
  • Take along a worm-grunting stake, in case the worm decides to sleep in.
  • If necessary, start a fight between the early bird and its spouse to delay its hunt.[4]

For the Truly Hopeless

For those who are truly hopeless at completing this quest (inveterate night owls, attend), a rumor circulates that the bartender at The Rumor Mill knows the location of a bait shop specializing entirely in early worms.

References and Footnotes

  1. See the Archivist in the Library of Bad Gateway for more information.
  2. This unusual hero happened to have the aspect of a Beerkat, and was accompanied by a Moonswine named "Pumba." No Dandy lion was in evidence.
  3. Questgivers are known to happily accept bribes of fresh fish, but rarely believe a heroine's tale of finishing a quest unless presented with the quest trophy.
  4. That little avian is fast!