Breadsticks

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The Breadsticks Guild is one of the many guilds open to aspiring heroes in the Godville universe. It conglomerates itself into the discovery and unraveling of the mysteries surrounding the Godville universe, or so it says in their pamphlet.

It is uncertain where and how Breadsticks came to be. Some alleged that it was when an unnamed hero, armed with nothing but a piece of garlic bread, rescued an entire village from a terrible undefeated monster. While this story is accepted by most, there are many more claims to the formation of the guild.

Origin

The Chronicles of the Unnamed Hero

In a small village, a few miles west of Los Demonos, a terrible monster wreaks havoc to its fearful citizens. It was on a full moon when an unnamed hero, possibly drunk, offered to defeat the creature for payment of a meal at a local inn. The citizens merely shrugged their shoulders and barred their windows and doors, a clear 'go and get your head bitten off' signal to the broke hero. They considered it advantageous, for the beast would have its fill of sacrifice and they would be rid of another worthless bum.

The villagers were not unimpressed by the hero's courage. Even through closed doors and at a very safe distance, they watched the hero face the monster alone. As they nervously nibbled on their popcorn, the hero (being extremely wasted) stared unflinchingly at the monster. Seeing the rows of pointed teeth (and was that a leg bone stuck in between?) he paled and became completely sober. He grabbed his weapon--or at least tried to realizing that he has unwittingly left it at the inn(not that his level -8 twig could do much harm). Desperately trying to stay alive as he tried to dodge the monsters teeth and claws, he found a piece of garlic breadstick in his pocket. Not caring about why there was such an item on his pocket (or the more important how long has it been unnoticed in his pocket considering the thick layer of mold) he chucked it at the moment before the monster's mouth snapped shut. To the amazement of the villagers, the monster began convulsing and literally dropped dead in an undignified manner with its tongue rolling out of its mouth much like a carpet beckoning entrance to a cave.

The hero, who had assumed the fetal position to make himself a smaller target, had been oblivious to the cheers of the people until they picked him up and tossed him in the air. A guild was then built honoring him and heroes far and wide have come to respect and admire his cleverness in battle. Since then the breadstick had been a symbol of ingenuity and dumb luck.

Hence, giving the guild the name of Breadstick. Such Finger Licking Good.

The Legend of the Crazed Godville Administrator

One of the Breadsticks researchers stumbled upon an old myth written on a discarded parchment paper (it got stuck on his shoe after he had stepped on some gum). It offers a possible--albeit cracked--origin of the guild involving a banished Godville Administrator.

In an indefinite time, long ago, a Godville Administrator was said to have been banished from the heavenly realm. The entity was cast off as a fallen due to an unhealthy obsession with baked goods that drove him to attack random heroes and villages. This prompted a group of wizards to band together in hopes of forming a union capable of subduing the divine being.

Dismayed upon knowing that rumors about Godville Administrators having as much power--if not more--than their own deities were true, the heroes figured that they do not possess the power to completely destroy the being, for it could instantaneously resurrect itself. In a bout of despair, the heroes called upon the powers of their Gods and Goddesses and cast deus ex panis, a spell that enables the user to store divine energy in the nearest baked treat(which happened to be a piece of half-eaten breadstick on the Godville Administrator's hand) despite knowing that the crazed being could escape. Oddly, a happy hum was heard from the sealed breadstick alluding the being's contentment.

By then, the heroes realized that a breadstick prison probably meant heaven to a bread addict. To completely destroy the creature, however, they needed the intervention of another just as powerful. The heroes then undertook the dangerous mission of offering the sealed breadstick to another Godville Administrator (In hopes that his divine digestive juices does the trick) before the crazy one completely consumes it and breaks free. They prayed to their own Gods that the Godville Administrator they chose to offer the bread to does not notice anything amiss (partly because they were practically tricking the being to committing cannibalism, and because they do not know how to explain why that particular piece of bread could hum) Luckily for them, the offeree was deaf and gladly chomped on the bread with large crunchy bites and slow chewing motions (the screams did nothing but add to the mortification of the heroes). The offerers were further relieved when the only side effect was an upset stomach (they did not want to see the maniac clawing through someone else's stomach).

Since then, the heroes stuck with each other (because they had nothing else to do and had lost pretty much everything during the fight) and established a guild(mostly for borrowing money from each other), naming it after the baked menace that caused and ended all the mess (they initially wanted to call it "Bums United" but thought better of it).

This page is still under construction...