Bottle of holy ale

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Artifacts of Godville
Bottle of holy ale
Type πŸ’ŽBold
Value 390
Description A bottle containing delicious, and arguably blessed, beer.

The monks and nuns of Godvillewood are renowned for their beer-making, and the bottle of holy ale is considered to be the pinnacle of their craft. The epithet holy refers both to the makers and to a special property of the beer itself. When imbibed in sufficient quantities, it makes the drinker unable to commit any evil acts whatsoever.[1]


Throughout the realm, beer was always considered to be a safer beverage than water (and certainly a tastier and more interesting one). Godville's monasteries originally began brewing ale so that both residents and visitors would have enough to drink. Over time, the monastic brewers became skilled at their craft, and it was not long before the masters of novices were overwhelmed by applicants begging to be admitted to the religious life. Later, when secular breweries were founded, this religious fervour subsided somewhat.

Finding themselves under unexpected financial stress, the monastic brewmeisters struck back by claiming that their beer possessed uniquely spiritual properties. The best of the monastic beers -- the so-called "holy ale" -- is said to do the following:

  • Transport the drinker to heaven, irrespective of how naughty she has been;
  • Revive a pet that has been knocked out;[2]
  • Revive a heroine who has been killed;[3]
  • Drive away boss monsters;[4]
  • Turn ordinary bricks into gold;[5]
  • Entice creatures into the ark.

But why is it bold?

This holy ale is a bold artifact because it is very rare. Indeed, few heroes and heroines can carry a bottle for more than a few minutes before worshipfully emptying it.


  1. ↑ Or any good or neutral ones, for that matter, as Godville's atheists have pointed out.
  2. ↑ The only way to do this is to combine one bottle of holy ale with another, and this has never been successfully managed, mainly because it's impossible to carry two bottles without drinking at least one of them.
  3. ↑ This typically happens spontaneously within 24 hours of death anyway, but the makers claim it happens faster if holy ale has been glugged first. (Probably this is because, being both drunk and dead, it just seems a lot faster.)
  4. ↑ And also some employee monsters.
  5. ↑ This is probably a trick of the light.
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