Antisocial Socialites

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When you ask "Who are these Antisocial Socialites" the number people who turn with a confident look in their eyes of knowing something and then stand there in an awkward pause of extravagant length will surprise you. What were they going to say? Are they members? By now a common person has already told you "Aye, all of them crazy eyed loons looking at you like that, they are." Today, sociologists call them "dysfunctional lemmings" and raise concerns as their member recruitment continues to rise. "What happens if lemmings don't follow each other off a cliff?" they say. It is the question many fear the answer to. This paradox is the core of their existence.

Their history is only known through the records of others as record keeping is considered a social activity and strictly forbidden. The first ancient records of the Antisocial Socialites depicted early men with flying dodo birds over their heads. No recorded references to tribal structure or ceremonial gatherings have ever been found except one. A single contested fragment appears to show several "dodo men" together on one side of a line while a tribal ceremony is taking place opposite the line. Was this a comparison of the ceremonies or exile of the "dodo men"? Scholars believe it was a ceremony. A weekly spectacle in Beerburg supports the latter.

To the delight of tourists and not to the delight of the tavern keepers of Beerburg, the Antisocial Socialites meet every Saturday at 7PM. They can be easily spotted sitting at tables two or three at most in complete silence with glasses of water. They can be found in every tavern "wasting up space" as the tavern keepers put it. "I need at least twenty tourists drinking to cover one of them loons if I'm lucky! When they sit alone, I need sixty beer guzzling tourists to make a profit! I suppose as long as the freak show doesn't take over the streets of Beerburg what can you do about it?" one brew master said while filling up twenty five water glasses. To be an unwelcome who is always welcomed shows the significant influence of their power throughout Godville.


(shadow writer in the sun for Antisocial Socialites)