Aluminum Fowl

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Monsters of Godville
Aluminum Fowl
Avis bauxis
Class Intelligent vehicle.
Habitat Wherever treasures and mysteries abound.
Description High-flying aluminum smart vehicle.

The Aluminum Fowl (Avis bauxis) is a nanotechnology-powered, metallic, intelligent, flying machine in the form of a condor. Its airframe measures about three times the volume of the average hero or heroine. While most champions argue that this monster's vocation is "monster," monster's rights activists are quick to point out that the Aluminum Fowl spends far more of its time on surveying, private investigation, and archaeology.[1]


The Aluminum Fowl hatched as the third and final egg in its nanotechnological nest, high in the tors surrounding Vector Field. The nanites responsible for its creation[2] had been running out of materials, at that point, having harvested the area of a prodigious amount of gold for the first egg, iron for the second egg, and paltry deposits of bauxite for the aluminum of the third egg, so the Aluminum Fowl came out rather... small. But, though it was little, it was fierce!

Early History: Hero Worship

Little is known about the life cycle of aluminum fowls in general, but a great deal is known about one in the specific. It started life in a nest of three eggs. The nest was built of sticks, lichen, rocks, and tumbled straw by a self-organizing flock of nanotechnological machines that appear to have been built or programmed along the lines of a murmuration of swallow. The creator of this swarm of nanites is unknown, as is the location of the lab that built them, but they settled among the rocky tors of Vector Field[3] and built a nest hindred-thousands of times their size. Inside, they built three egg-shaped shells of rocky calcite and quartz, leaving tiny holes only they could get through. An explorer who happened upon this work early in the process speculated that they might be building safe a place to reproduce themselves three times over, maybe to go on and triple themselves again after that.[4] Instead, the nanites harvested the area's most abundant metal, gold, from the living rock, and took it into one egg. Into the second, they loaded the second most abundant metal, which was iron. Into the third, they loaded the only other available metal, which was aluminum. The nanotes had to renovate the rocky egg shell to be half of its original size midway through the process.

Once finished their resource gathering, the nanites disappeared into the eggs for 90 days. Nothing appeared to happen. But, on the 91st day, the swarms emerged simultaneously, and fell upon the eggs, dismantling the shells to reveal three baby birds! They were cute, in an ugly sort of way. One was made of gold, one was made of iron, and the tiniest was made of aluminum.

Peculiarly, they looked like condors, not swallows.

The nanites swirled and danced and murmurated over the nest, apparently proud of what they had wrought. Then the babies opened their beaks and called for food. The swarm froze. Nanites looked at each other, then at the baby birds, wondering what to do. Then the whole nanite flock streaked toward the road.

A heroine, fallen as a sacrifice by the Acid Reindeer to the god of monsters, was nothing but a crumpled heap by the side of the road.[5] The nanites circled over her.

Ah-hah! She carried gold bricks! The nanites harvested these.[6]

Ah-hah! Her sword and shield and armor were made of an iron alloy! The nanites harvested these.[7]

Ah-hah...? She had a single, much-gnawed, empty beer can in her pocket that was made of aluminum. The nanites hesitantly harvested this.

The nanites happily bore their burdens back to the nest, where they fed particles of gold, iron, and aluminum to the respective baby birds, molecule by molecule. The Golden Condor grew to twice its size! The Iron Raptor grew half again as large as itself! The Aluminum Fowl grew. A little.

This routine repeated day after day, with the nanite swarm feeding their babies, gradually building them from the inside and outside into larger, more complex, more impressive machines. Or, at least, the Golden Condor and the Iron Raptor expanded. The Aluminum Fowl? The Aluminum Fowl... well, the Aluminum Fowl did grow a bit, but only to a little more than human size. The nanites had to face the fact that they were too far from any town for much aluminum to make it out to the wilderness. They ranged as far and wide as their piezo-electric generators could reliably take them, but heroes and heroines finished and littered the ground with their cans of beer long before they got to Vector Field. The Aluminum Fowl was left with scraps.

Middle Years: Family Rivalry

Present: Bitter Feud

Favored Haunts and Habitats

The Aluminum Fowl most often enjoys jungles, archeological digs, Caves, and really old cities. When not searching for treasures and lost items at ground level where the heroes and heroines can encounter it, the Aluminum Fowl can often be spotted soaring to great altitudes over fields and plains, looking for traces in the crops and grasses, looking for paler growth that indicates soil compacted by prehistoric settlements or stone walls hidden just beneath the surface.

As of 2278 g.e.: The Aluminum Fowl has acted on its potential as a surveillance and search-and-rescue machine, and has opened "A.L. Fowl and Co. Private Investigations" in a storefront in Simpletown. Please, no standing or parking on the road immediately in front of the office, as this is where the Aluminum Fowl lands, so stopped carts are likely to be crushed.

Top Pet Projects (Searches)

  • Mysterious city of gold
  • Fountains of wisdom, youth, and excellence
  • Tomb of the Horseman
  • Fabric archives of the Malicious Monks of Smeehee
  • Wreck site of the GVS Prosperity

Successful Discoveries

  • Cache of Elder Ian FitzIan the Lesser the Barbeerian[8]
  • Arabella O'Random's missing kitten



  • Intense willpower.
  • Never, ever, ever gives up.
  • Practiced in the arts and sciences of competition.
  • Heat-conductive carapace.


  • Intense rage at the mention of its sibling, the Golden Condor.
  • Immediately distracted by hints of treasure and cultural discoveries.
  • Easily scratched.

References and Footnotes

  1. Pamphlet citation goes here.
  2. Nobody knows where the nanites came from, but cryptozoologists are blaming the Mad Scientist again, which is pretty safe to do.
  3. Suspected by some to also be the home of 128-bit encryption, making this a hot-bed of a particular style of pseudo-organic development.
  4. "That process would continue until they used up all of the solid material in the land, and no longer had a place to nest. The world would become one vast, shallow sea, or possibly a plane of frothing magma." --Noy Newman, pg. 92, "A Treatise on the Stange Things I've Seen," University Press [insert the rest of the citation later]
  5. "I wish monsters would do the civilized thing and stretch us out when we die. I can't count the number of times I've resurrected with the worst crick in my neck from dying in the wrong position." --Unidentified heroine at The Rumor Mill.
  6. Nanites in Vector Field continue to harvest gold from gold bricks as heroes and heroines pass by. Traders will often point to this when a seller demands to know why one gold brick is worth less than another.
  7. There is a proportionally higher incid3nce of heroes and heroines needing discreet fig leaves when dead in Vector Field, per the Godville Office of Weights and Measures, which tracks such things.
  8. Two caches of weaponry, gold, and yeast cultures dating to 3000 b.g.e. have been located and attributed to this historical figure. The Aluminum Fowl located the smaller of the two caches.
Types of Robots
Humanoid Artificial Intellectual • Auto Pilot • Auto Pirate • Cast Iron Man • Depressed Robot • Draculator • Enforcement Droid 209 • Exo-Skeleton • Self-Terminator • Rock'em Sock'em Robot • Roger Robot • Shyborg • Sighborg • Sir Render • Spambot • Task Killer • Technophobic Robot • Terminator T-34 • Titanium Gingerbread Man
Beastlike Alarm Croc • Aluminum Fowl • Brass Monkey • Clockroach • Clockwork Orangutan • Decepticorn • Robot Chicken • Steel Rat • Wild Borg
Other 3D Sprinter • Depresso Machine • Hell Monitor • Ice Borg • Killer App • Killerbyte • Monotonous Drone • R2-Detour • Shift-Shaper • Sock Eating Machine • Terrorbyte • Thieving Vending Machine • Unmannered Drone