ARM to Hand
The Way Of the Noodle:
Origins: Some ARM to Hand members decided on June 22, 2017 to begin a new covenant, and deem it "The Way Of the Noodle." This, of course, delves deeper into syncing the soul of oneself with that of Linguinesh, the god of pasta. (It is this god that gave inspiration for modern linguini, as made clear by his name).
Significance Of The Covenant: While simply being a member of ARM to Hand proves that someone has faith in the pasta god's existence, loyalty to the Way Of the Noodle shows a much deeper devotion, as it is more self-sacrificial, and requires that members perform rigorous rituals, which include activities such as <CENSORED>, <REDACTED>, and some tasks that I should not mention here, as it is not kid friendly.
Covenant Loyalty and Its Effects: It is said that loyalty to this Great Covenant brings inner peace along with power and satisfaction, a combination never previously attained. However, no one can prove this since it is based on faith. One must be a regular practitioner to discover the complete truth. Those who swear allegiance but do not live up to the standards of the Way's Creed will never be allowed to eat pizza, Ramen, or Ramen pizza ever again.
We are a lighthearted, talkative guild for members of all alignments. Here we speak about important topics such as: (insert ANY, possibly homoerotic, theme here) and feelings. We always find a way to spice the chat up, whether through the use of BDSM or just our fun nature.
To join this guild you'll have to command your hero, while he/she is idle outside of town, to: Join the "ARM to Hand" guild This might take a few, or many, tries as the hero is seemingly both blind, deaf and dumb. A successful attempt should result in the hero's current quest switching to a guild joining quest!
Until the hero reaches the rank of Cardinal the hero might be foolish enough to pick up quests to leave us! If that is to happen, you'll definitely want to tell him/her to: "Abandon quest" " via voice commands.
What does "ARM to Hand" mean?:
"ARM to Hand" stands for "Authentic Ramen Makers to Hand" as discovered by Lunaeyaf, unofficially recognized as Court Wizard at the time, a member of our greatly underfunded research team. We are still looking for brave souls to look further into the origins of this name.
On January 5 of 2017, one of ARM to Hand's prophets, Artie Choke, erected a statue of the guild's founder in Los Demonos. (Teehee, we used the word "erected.") The statue, though inspired by a miracle from Hue Jass, was of a hero that the guild did not recognize. However, we're hoping that the erection (teehee) is at least a clue.
Since forever until 2015 g.e ARM to Hand was led by an evil overlord embarrassingly named Dr4gonW1nd, a god whom first gained the power to lead by his underlings with the tantalizing promise of pizza for everyone and world domination. This coupled with the fact that no one else was currently campaigning for leadership of this, at the time, literally godforsaken guild gained him the rank of Guild Leader. He was reelected for a second term, but then retired as evil overlord to kindly give some of his minions a shot at leadership.
Upon the end of Dr4gonW1nd's reign, Lunaeyaf ran against Hue Jass and Paxana. Like Dr4gonW1nd, Lunaeyaf has gone the route of pure evil, and became our new dark master, therefore sacrificing the title of Court Wizard. She is the first of our mighty warriors to travel to the wasteland of Unspecifiedistan and claim it in the name of BDSM, becoming solely responsible for achieving 11% influence in a single day. After Lunaeyaf passed down the throne to her beloved accomplice, Hue Jass, she travelled to the mysterious and hot-as-balls land of Jamaica, where she now resides in a sand hut as a pizza chef.
As Lunaeyaf retreated to the mysterious island of Jamaica to continue his further studies on being the guild's next prophet, the unfortunately steamy-named Hue Jass was elected as her replacement for the Guild Leader throne (wait, we have a throne???). With his leading duties and music band career, it's a mystery how he even managed to balance these tasks. Is he even a single entity? Are there many Hue Jass in our guild? Nobody gives a damn, we're too busy eating pizza to notice anyways. With him soon following Lunaeyaf's steps to further his studies to achieve prophethood, it was his time to hand the reins of leadership to the current leader (as of the time of writing), Ra-Lam.
When the reign of Hue Jass ended, it is then decided by the majority vote that Ra-Lam be the next guild leader. Records say that he reigned with a pretty okayish reputation, and he was even very close to achieving the guild's coveted Omniscient rank. Then, he disappeared. Just like that. Nobody even knows when or where he was last seen. The guild, for months, was left without a leader and things get chaotic (well, as chaotic as a leaderless guild can be, which is not really that chaotic to be honest). One day, he returned as a "new" member. Turns out that he went to Jamaica to find Lunaeyaf, who was also missing in action until recently. Now, he's on a personal mission to reclaim his promised omniscient rank. Maybe. We never actually asked him anything about his mission.
As of 2446 g.e. (20th January 2017), the high-level rank for ARM to Hand is officially named "omniscient" as per the suggestion of local Court Wizard Lunaeyaf. The following is the current list of omniscient-ranked Gods in the guild:
- Institoris, hero Prose Poet (left)
- Dr4gonW1nd, hero Dr4gonW1nd
- Arratron, hero Zelel
- Lunaeyaf, hero Jules Farquhar
- Hue Jass, hero Arthur Choke
''We're like the St. Patricks of rodents." - Hue Jass
''I've decided that in protest to my management at my job, I'm going to start leaving either a slice of meat or a poorly drawn penis in a random place once a week." - Hue Jass
"I swear I was straight before this guild..." -Dr4gonW1nd
"My hero just got a gold brick after finishing a quest, and he uses it as fish bait. Nice." -Lunaeyaf
"It's called the gateway bug because it's how we get foreigners to start eating insects ." -Lunaeyaf