User:Some atheist

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Some Atheist, patron of paper cuts, missing things and annoying itches. The mighty god responsible for a 17% of your everyday swearings and the commander of the most molest hero, Danuit. Maybe you don't know it yet but you sure have seen its deeds sometime. Cruelties like losing your cable with a 4% of battery left, or find that your wallet is missing just when you're paying the tab, etc. The mischievous deeds of this deity are well known to all the mortals. The only way to appease it is to hide an offering inside your pillow every new moon. The ones who didn't bother to even stash a couple of coins had lost beloved possessions ranging from a key to a finger. But the biggest contribution to a worldwide apocalypse this evil deity of chaos and despair has conceived is the fluffy legion.

On the cursed day of 3181 g.e, Some Atheist designed the perfect device to destroy the world. A perfect mixture of glue, polyester and lavander; designed to wreak havoc wherever it may be, someday a fool will bring a match close to it. Disguised as body pillows displaying the effigy of the deity, they were sent around Godville. In every corner of this land, there's a fluffy one waiting to burst in flames, just as planned.

Amongst other things, Some Atheist gives the best treatment a monk with a PhD in dwarven language from the PearSplit Abbey could get. Feeds him with succulent meals such as breadcrumbs and watermelon seeds, lets him sleep in a lovely cell tall as two chairs and pays him the astoundishing ammount of two gold coins for every tome he writes. What a generous patron.

PS: Also the owner and protector of Danuit the hero, definitively not the legend.

The Cry of Atheist

Atheist wrote this verses to guide its hero down in Godville. It could just utter commands "drink! fight! dodge! dig!", but knowing the hardships of Danuit, thought that this poem could make him feel (if not better) less alone. The poem reads likes this:

Dig your own grave, fluffy one!
For this earthly womb shall make you again!
Destroy the beasts, fluffy one!
For their blood will feed my fields.
Sacrifice your wealth, fluffy one!
For one day the coins shall pave your path.
Heal your wounds, fluffy one!
For I can not reach your mauled body.
Return to the city, fluffy one!
For beer will grace your lips.
Fear not, fluffy one!
For Atheist is protecting you.