|Guild by Association|
|Guild position||Guild Founder|
Memorable diary entries by Pro Tagonist
Since level 18
- 21:42: Ran away from a monster and hid in a graveyard. The screamin' blues of wights were quite impressive, yet boring.
- 21:33: Heard someone shouting "Die, Gdawg!" in the distance. I rushed to the rescue, but it turned out to be a Lego Golem brutally smashing a scarecrow. I guess monsters need to practice too.
- 21:26: A fat old man was screaming "Rudoooolph!" in the forest. I felt pity and gave him a piece of fresh reindeer meat that I had just bought from some wandering goblins.
- 21:06: Silly rocky raccoon got under my feet, and I almost stepped right on him. That would have ended badly.
- 20:20: Takeshii was removed from my potential threats list. He will remember not to stand in my way again.
- 20:19: Notes from arena battle: Takeshii is on his knees. Pro Tagonist salutes to somewhere above! The winner receives a golden brick and 109 coins.
- 19:56: Notes from arena battle: Pro Tagonist and Takeshii look at each other appraisingly. The audience watches with anticipation.
- 19:56: Searched through the pockets of my suddenly uncomfortable clothes and discovered an empty genie lamp, a handsaw's tooth, and a slice of life under my armor. I have no idea how these things got here, but I'm sure they will come in handy.
- 19:56: Time to cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war! Hey, greenhorns, wanna fight?
- 19:11: Stumbled across a sign that read: 'Warning: Watch out for Signs!'
- 19:05: Sneezy whimpers anxiously and wags his tail like a fan, providing a refreshing breeze. Wow, I feel a bit better!
- 18:22: Tried to hypnotize the trader with a swinging pendulum. I thought it worked – until I was thrown out of the shop.
- 18:15: Had a nice conversation with myself. Learned a lot from it.
- 18:10: I stopped at the graveyard to listen to the growling of ghouls. I must say, they're quite impressive. Although they do chat a bit too much at times.
- 17:30: Sneezy suddenly raised his muzzle and roared loudly. The Loan Shark and his fellows dispersed, shrieking with fear.
- 17:06: Sneezy is hanging onto my leg and begging for food. Sorry. Now is not a good time. There's a Dreaded Gazebo ahead.
- 17:05: I ran into a brick wall with half-faded words written on it: 'Love you my daughter, but you need to be strong.'
- 17:01: Clicked my heels three times. Nothing happened.
- 16:56: Stumbled across a sign that read: 'All your base are belong to us.'
- 16:52: Felt adventurous and took the path less traveled, but turned back after having so much trouble walking through the tall grass and weeds.
- 13:46: Sensing my bad mood, Sneezy deftly tickled me with his whiskers. I feel a little better already.
- 12:22: Found pages from someone else's diary flying in the wind. I'd be horribly embarrassed if someone were reading my most personal thoughts... but I read them anyway.
- 12:14: Laid down under a tree to die from heavy wounds. Came back to my senses to find Sneezy performing CPR on me.
- 12:13: Sneezy laid down next to the entrance of an abandoned temple and promptly fell asleep. It's so peaceful here, I think I'll have a nap too.
- 11:00: Tried to be good. Planted some flowers along the roadside.
- 10:56: Enthusiastically rubbed the medicine dropper of holy water in the hopes of summoning a genie. Sadly, the only thing to appear was my sad-looking reflection.
- 10:54: Spent many long hours praying. Endowed the temple with 67 gold coins.
- 10:53: Sneezy knocked over some candles in the temple. What a clumsy oaf! We hid behind a curtain and watched as a priest put out the flames with some holy water from a basin.
- 10:51: Paid 87 coins to the veterinarian for a routine pet checkup. The vet said that Sneezy will live a long and healthy life.
- 10:50: Visited the zoo and fed some hungry trolls.
- 10:40: Tried using a Jedi mind trick on the trader. Got slapped in the face.
- 10:10: Almost went crazy trying to catch a strange moving red dot.
- 09:56: Sneezy came closer and started licking my wounds. Suddenly I felt better, even without any healing mud baths.
- 09:43: Sneezy suddenly stood to attention and growled. Then he rushed into the bushes and pulled out an unturned stone. What a clever pet!
- 09:38: Combed the desert. Didn't find a thing, but it has nice patterns now.
- 09:34: Tried to lick my own elbow. All I got was a twisted neck and a strong feeling of dissatisfaction.
- 09:27: Saw a shady trader by the road. Sat by him to get out of the sun.
- 08:47: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No... it's a dragon... A big dragon... A big, hungry looking dragon... I'll just run away now.
- 08:43: Pondered free will for a moment, then decided not to pursue it.
- 08:43: It'd be great if Sneezy could run to the city to grab some potions... and snacks. All right, I'll go myself. I'm not above running my own errands.
- 08:13: Carefully examined my pet as I tried to figure out how he heals so quickly. Sneezy happily wagged his tail and yawned in my face.
- 07:57: Dear Diary, I must confess a secret that's been buried deep within my troubled heart... Darn it! It's a Card-Carrying Villain!
- 07:36: Sneezy knocked over some candles in the temple. What a clumsy oaf! We hid behind a curtain and watched as a priest put out the flames with some holy water from a basin.
- 06:45: Taught my pet to perform some simple tricks. It seems that Sneezy has already mastered the "Sleep" command.
- 05:55: Sneezy suddenly stood to attention and growled. Then he rushed into the bushes and pulled out a loose cannon. What a clever pet!
- 05:51: I was bored to tears, so I decided to capture the flag. This should be interesting.
- This is my new quest
- 22:14: While walking through the forest, I heard a strange noise and saw a large blue box. I decided to ignore it and moved on.
- 22:11: I feel like Sneezy is trying to tell me something. I wonder, what exactly could it be?
- 21:53: Sneezy brought me a package of cookies from somewhere. I'd better eat it right away. What a great pet!
- 21:32: Laid down under a tree to die from heavy wounds. Came back to my senses to find Sneezy performing CPR on me.
- 20:37: If I pray hard enough, maybe my Goddess will change the color of my eyes to blue. Then they'd match my armor!
- 20:04: Lady, I have you and Sneezy, but why do I still feel like something's missing from my life?
- 19:32: During our last rest stop, Sneezy performed some gothic dances in honor of the god of monsters. Please forgive him, Great One.
- 19:24: Sneezy spent half an hour chasing his own tail. He didn't chew it off, but it's looking a bit frayed now.
- 19:21: Saw the Four Pedestrians of the Apocalypse walking in the distance.
- 19:14: Attaching recently buttered toast to the bottom of my sandals afforded me the power of levitation. Unfortunately, it didn't last long.
- 19:05: Aware of his health benefits, Sneezy carefully rubbed against me with his natural fur.
- 19:00: Stopped and smelled the roses.
- 18:50: A stranger came close to me and whispered: 'Never talk to strangers.'
- 18:42: Oh, the loot bag is so heavy... Hey, Sneezy, get out of there!
- 18:41: The Parrot Trooper is dead. I wish I could at least fight some attractive looking enemies. Is that too much to ask?
- 18:25: Ran into Hopkinton Rhubarb III. He distracted the monster with some magic tricks, giving me time for a quick prayer.
- 18:22: I've always wondered... Why does everyone want to kill me? Am I that annoying, Mighty One? Please tell me I'm not! Please!
- 18:19: Sneezy snorts disdainfully and seems to enjoy watching my futile attempts to attempt to believe it's not butter. Now he is making faces at me. If you think it's so easy, why don't you do it yourself, you silly rocky raccoon?
- 18:17: Almighty, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the gold to buy shiny new things.
- 18:15: A preacher said that animals are not allowed in the temple, but Sneezy grinned and quickly persuaded the cleric to change his mind.
- 18:11: Wrote verses about my journey and performed them in front of the people around me. They said I have talent.
- 18:06: The equipment merchant said that animals are not allowed in the shop. Guess I'll manage without new clothes, since I won't leave Sneezy alone in the street.
- 17:33: Sneezy sat aside to watch my epic battle with the monster. You're so worthless, rocky raccoon.
- 17:30: Waited for some ducks to cross the road.
- 17:26: Patiently waited until Sneezy finished marking the area.
- 17:16: A suspicious stranger told me that if I attempt to believe it's not butter, I'll get a nice reward. Probably. I have a bad feeling about this...
- Deja vu
- 16:47: Experienced a brief moment of frozen time today as the word 'AUTOSAVE' flashed above me in the sky, then vanished just as quickly.
- 16:43: I wanted to join this local gang, but they said they don't accept religious extremists. So I cut a few heathen throats and took away 32 gold coins all in your glorious name, my Lady.
- 16:41: Quest to 'attempt to believe it's not butter' was completed with excellence! Got a shiny golden brick and felt great about it.
- 16:41: I've done it! It's not butter, it's not butter at all!
- 16:36: Dear Diary, the time has finally come for me to write down this really important piece... Oh, wait! It's a Fifth Elephant!
- 16:34: Sneezy laid down next to the diminishing campfire and promptly fell asleep. It's so peaceful here, I think I'll have a nap too.
- 16:11: Sneezy is a good companion to me. He even licked my wounds clean after the last battle. Either that or I forgot to feed him...
- 16:11: I offered to help the Bulletproof Sun Dog dig my own grave. When it handed me the shovel, I swung it at its face and ran away.
- 16:11: Full of anticipation, I took the essence of awesomeness out of the bag and tore off the wrapping. Darn that trader, it's a fake!
- 16:07: Does my goddess wear pants? Should I?
- 15:44: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No... it's a dragon... A big dragon... A big, hungry looking dragon... I'll just run away now.
- 15:41: Combed the desert. Didn't find a thing, but it has nice patterns now.
- 15:37: It's raining cats and dogs. I hope I don't get fleas.
- 15:34: Paid 250 coins to give my little animal a bath before starting a tough campaign. Sneezy's coat now shines with exuberance and he is happily hiccuping soap bubbles.
- 15:31: Wrote verses about my journey and performed them in front of the people around me. They said I have talent.
- 15:07: Met Hopkinton Rhubarb III, borrowed some food and a couple of healing potions. Feeling much better now.
- 14:53: A full backpack gave me a good excuse to stop puddling mud along the road and head to a warm and comfortable city. Hot baths, here I come!
- 14:53: The Anaphylactic Shark was gloriously dismembered! Sorting through its remains, I found a portable stairway to heaven. It will need a good washing before I can sell it.
- 14:47: Helped the dying Wumpus by picking up its wallet. It won't need it where it's going.
- 14:45: What is wrong with all these monsters?! Why does my pain give them such delight?
- 15:00: Suddenly noticed Sneezy gnawing on my new unused potential! Fortunately, I took it away just in time. Bad rocky raccoon!
- 14:40: It seems that Sneezy just tried to use the "auto-stopping" skill. Of course he failed. What a noob.
- 14:33: Hooray! I've reached level 19!
- 13:47: I am a leaf on the wind... Watch how I soar.
- 13:45: Sneezy buried the "Black Market" guild membership card that he found. Is that his way of showing contempt for that guild?
- 13:41: My pet Sneezy brought me a bottle of iodine solution from somewhere. I'd better use it right away. What a clever pet he is!
- 13:41: Lying low at the bottom of a ditch. I'm begging you, my Lady, make this Firefox pass by without noticing me!
- 13:39: Oh my Lady, is that a Firefox on the horizon? I can smell my own fear...
- 13:38: Found a crashed whale in an open field. Got lost in thought.
- 13:24: Baffled by the strange tapping noises coming from the heavens.
- 13:18: After Sneezy lapped up a full saucer of health elixir, he kept on begging for a second serving. Hmm, it seems that his tired little body needs a boost.
- 12:58: "Sneezy the rocky raccoon" sounds distinguished, doesn't it? My Lady, do you like my pet?
- Butt-kicking for goodness!
- 10:34: The Anaphylactic Shark fled from the fight. I ran in the same direction and found a kinetic energy bar and 8 coins.
- 10:29: Suddenly felt an urge to examine the continuum transfunctioner. There was nothing inside, but I managed to get 2872 experience points in the process.
- The heroine is making copies of her diary to be sold as a new epic tales book...
- 08:53: What's the deal, my Lady? I passed another coffee shop with a mermaid sign. That's like five in a row.
- 08:27: Found another hero's diary. Our entries were frighteningly similar... Great minds think alike, I suppose.
- 00:45: Quest to 'rewrite the diary in invisible ink' was completed with excellence! Got a shiny golden brick and felt great about it.
- 21:48: A wandering monk said that the gods like to see an atheist around, it gives them something to aim at.
- 19:09: Oops, I think I accidentally just took a vow of science. Guess I should've paid more attention in spelling class.
- 19:05: Heard a whistle above my head. Quickly fell upon my knees and prayed. I don't know what it was, but was I right, my Lady?
- 19:05: My head feels like it's bursting with knowledge and wisdom. I wanted to hit it several times to relieve the pressure, but suddenly changed my mind. Was that you, Almighty?
- 11:52: I feel like I'd be a better heroine if I had a personal soundtrack. My Goddess, please send a band of wandering minstrels to compose songs about my great deeds!
- 10:22: An old mage asked me to rewrite the diary in invisible ink. Well, that shouldn't be too hard.
- This is my new quest
- 10:22: Gave 324 gold coins to the local bums. They promised to get drunk in honor of my Lady...
- 10:17: Early to bed and early to rise makes a lady healthy, wealthy, and wise. Good night to me!
- 09:34: I've managed to mow the surrounding lawn. My titanic efforts were rewarded with a golden brick and some pocket change!
- 09:34: Well, I guess there isn't a creature over three inches tall left now.
- 09:34: The Vegetarian Vulture handed me a cheese wheel and threw himself into a nearby volcano.
- 09:32: I suppose this is a good place to mow the surrounding lawn. Let's go!
- 08:53: What's the deal, my Lady? I passed another coffee shop with a mermaid sign. That's like five in a row.
- 21:33: The mayor of the town asked me to mow the surrounding lawn. I sense profit!
- 21:28: Woke up looking at the sunrise, wondering who stole my tent while I was sleeping.
- 20:57: Quest to 'get a jackhammer and remove a sword from a stone' is completed! Got a pot of gold. Let's go on a shopping spree!
- 19:20: Experienced a brief moment of frozen time today as the word 'AUTOSAVE' flashed above me in the sky, then vanished just as quickly.
- 19:11: Walked into a bar... That really hurt!
- 18:27: Saw a charred body clutching a copy of "Atheism for Dummies". He must have angered his god somehow.
- 17:38: Spent some time eating cucumber sandwiches and daintily drinking tea. It may have made me look like an idiot, but at least it restored some of my health.
- 16:57: Checked my beehive on a stick to see if it was working correctly. Spent the next half an hour bandaging my head.
- 15:45: The Fluffy Sun Dog was vanquished. I stood upon his lifeless body for you, my Lady!
- 15:37: My wounds are healing, the holes in my outfit are disappearing, and even my pathetic life is starting to look better. My Lady, I think I shall do something great and stupid in your honor!
- 15:37: A Fluffy Sun Dog jumped out of the bush with a wide wicked smile and said: 'Well, well, we finally meet, Pro Tagonist!'.
- 15:37: Stumbled across a sign that read: 'You are entering Bat Country. Beware.'
- 10:05: Tried to be good. Planted some flowers along the roadside and hugged a puppy. Couldn't find a baby to kiss, though.
- 09:52: Xarpedon Demonsbane suddenly rushed past me, barked "Hi" and finished off the Thin Client. I'd better make more friends, it seems they can come in handy sometimes.
- 09:21: Met Hopkinton Rhubarb III, borrowed some food and a couple of healing potions. Feeling much better now.
- 08:16: Found an atheist in a foxhole.
- [Today, I had to flee from 2 Firefoxes: One was drunk, the other adjective-less.]
- 21:37: Tried to climb a social ladder but ran into a glass ceiling.
- 21:16: Hopkinton Rhubarb III took the monster aside, giving me plenty of time to get away. Don't worry Cod of War, I'll get you next time!
- 20:05: Hopkinton Rhubarb III ran out of the bushes shouting, "Pro Tagonist, I'm coming!", tripped and rolled head over heels into the gully. Typical - I have to do everything myself.
- 18:20: Xarpedon Demonsbane ran out of the bushes shouting, "Pro Tagonist, I'm coming!" and suddenly fell into a hidden pit. Well, you know what they say - if you want something done right, do it yourself.
- 09:52: Saw a group of magical insects escape a flood in a tiny ship of their own creation. Could this be the fabled Ark of the Coven-Ants?
- 08:57: I suppose this is a good place to find out how many heroes it takes to change a lightbulb. Let's go!
- unfortunately, it turns out I'm only about 8% through the quest; wishful thinking, I guess
- 08:46: A thousand and one yellow daffodils began to dance in front of me. Was that you, Great One? ...or just the mushrooms I ate recently?
- The heroine is making copies of her diary to be sold as a new superhero comic book...
- Reluctantly debriding wounds with some five-star brandy...
- 07:45: While walking through the forest, I heard a strange noise and saw a large blue box. I decided to ignore it and moved on.
- 07:02: A cute little girl wearing a nekomimi asked me to find out how many heroes it takes to change a lightbulb. It's a bit weird, but why not embark upon this quest?
- 06:52: Notes from arena battle: Koentjah begs for mercy. Pro Tagonist definitely fulfilled her god's expectations today! The winner receives a golden brick and 817 gold coins. As a sign of heroic solidarity, the winner returned 278 coins to her rival for medicine.
- 06:09: I guess I'll never figure out how to become the 263rd member of "The Old Gods" guild. Whatever. I'll find something else to do.
- 06:09: A voice from the skies shouted: 'Cancel this quest.' Funny.
- 21:45: Felt adventurous and took the path less traveled, but turned back after having so much trouble walking through the tall grass and weeds.
- 19:57: With one clean blow, the Dust Bunny was sent on its final journey. I searched its lifeless body and found 18 gold coins and some false hope.
- Since achieving Level 18 yesterday, I have also defeated a Sun Dog and escaped from an Asexual Firefox. I've never even seen these monsters before!
- 07:01: Rode into Los Demonos on a cloud of dust. No horse, just a cloud of dust.
- 22:46: Crazy scientists have given me another quest: travel to the edge of the earth and try not to fall off of it.
- 22:13: Suddenly, I banged my head against thick air. It's like there was an invisible wall there... or am I subconsciously learning how to mime?
- 22:10: Quest to 'break the Fourth Wall' is completed! Got a pot of gold. Let's go on a shopping spree!
- 22:05: Another map with an 'X' scratched on it! Great One, why do people insist on vandalising perfectly good maps?
- 17:29: Waited for some ducks to cross the road.
- 17:26: Searched for memory lane, but couldn't remember the directions.