The Schwartz

Type: Weapon

Durability: +105

The Schwartz is a weapon able to harness the all-powerful non-copy written alternative parody version of the Force. The Force, err, I mean The Schwartz, controls everything in the universe. It is the mystical energy that flows through everything and calling it The Schwartz won't result in a lawsuit from Lucasfilm for intellectual property theft.

A hero demonstrating the proper fighting stance for using The Schwartz.

The Schwartz generates a lightsaber, err, I mean a lightBEAM of about one meter. This lightsaber, ugh, I mean lightBEAM, can cut through various monster parts and makes for a rather useful steak knife.

The Schwartz comes in a variety of colors including yellow, green, red, and white.

Unknown to just about every hero, true believers of The Schwartz don't need a gimmicky 1 coin prize found in a Crackerjack box to harness the true power of The Schwartz.

Stop trying to find the biggest The Schwartz, they're all the same size for crying out loud! Some Poor Shopkeeper to a Hero