The Battle Toad

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SummerWiki 2019: Under Review 🍹

This fresh cocktail by NobodyIsPerfectButMe (U β€’ C β€’ T)  has entered reviewing process. It will be reviewed by a volunteer editor. Edits are visible in the page history, and feedback to be addressed will be on the talk page (you can tell the author how great it is there, too).

Last edit: 323 days ago by SourceRunner — History

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The Battle Toad tavern is a place where weary, battleworn heroes can stop for a while for a drink and the good company of other fatigued, battle-scarred heroes.

It is also the only tavern in all of Godville to have a toad in kimono behind a bar. The amphibian bartender is said to never drop a glass, be it full or empty.

Famous Patrons

Among the drunks, common hooligans, and wandering riff-raff, there seem to be a few that could be considered this humble abodes' famous patrons.

Most notable would be the well-known Tsunade-hime, who downs sake like it's water and can mix drinks like no one's business. In one horrific contest for Best Drunkard Everβ„’, she drank every drink available and not only didn't lose her stomach contents, but also demanded a discount on sake for the rest of that night.[1]

Patron heroines Misato and her friend Shura hold the current championship at the Battle Toad's bar. Their uncanny ability to empty any and all cans left before them and still kick asses is a sight to behold.

The best-tipping customer (and thus the bartender's favorite) is Kyoraku-san. There is ongoing debate and still growing bet between other patrons, whether this fellow is a hero, a stray god, or something else entirely. No one has asked outright, yet, because if anyone spooked the guy off, the wrath of the Battle Toad would be great and many lives would be lost.

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The history of significant dates, such as fires, floods, and barfights is as long as a toad's tongue and tavern staff don't have the patience to list it, but would like to note that barfights are good for luring heroes and heroines inside. They are a permanent part of the entertainment repertoire

Amphibian Bartender

The creature behind the bar is no other than a real Battle Toad. When the monster's heroine retired, she thought she would open a bar so there would always be beer to drink. The canny creature saw the laziness of its master and decided that having heroine as tavern owner was bad for business. The heroine was never seen again, and her name forgotten in tavern history.

Menu

Creating a menu is a tricky thing when:

  • 1st. You are a toad.
  • 2nd. Your customers are a bunch of tasteless ninja samurai heroes who wouldn't see a snack if it landed on their noses.
  • 3rd. Apparently, human customers don't eat flies.

Wading through these initial difficulties, tavern staff managed to cobble together a list of roughly edible snacks and dishes available for customers.

Odawara Kamaboko is customarily eaten to celebrate new beginings, which for heroes is a regular event, what with all this dying and resurrection.

Snacks

  • Amazake[2]
  • Breadsticks
  • Pocky[3]
  • Dango[4]
  • Arare[5]
  • Odawara Kamaboko Fish Cakes[6]
  • Gane: Sweet Potato Tempura[7]
  • Akumaki: Bamboo-wrapped Rice Cake
  • Anmitsu[8] and ice cream
  • Konpeito Sugar Stars[9]

Entrees

  • Yokohama Gyu-nabe Beef Hot Pot
  • Takomeshi: Steamed Octopus with Rice
  • Shirokoro Horumon: Grilled Pork Offal[10]
  • Nikuman: Steamed Buns filled with Pork[11]
  • Yokosuka Kaigun Kare Curry
  • Goto Udon[12]

Signature Drinks

The Battle Toad tavern is known for the restorative properties of its beverages. They not only soothe a beaten hero's pride, but also treat bruises and cuts.

The not-so-secret secret to this phenomenon is that between strong alcoholic drinks the waitstaff serves drinkable healing artifacts.

Sake

Heroes just can't seem to remember their names as they are sneakily added to the tab of unsuspecting patrons.

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Sure, they let heroes get back to their heroic deeds much quicker, but toads are not THAT altruistic.

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Artifacts restore heroes health, thus making them soberer and allowing for greater consumption of beer. And the bill gets bigger and bigger.

Liquors

Beers & Lagers

Yummy but Mysterious brews

Footnotes

  1. ↑ Some witnesses dispute that this feat was instead accomplished by Tsukikage Ran, but that wandering samurai cannot be located for comment.
  2. ↑ A traditional sweet, low-alcohol drink made from fermented rice. Can be used as a dessert, snack, natural sweetening agent, baby food, salad dressing, or smoothie.
  3. ↑ Once, there was an accident with breadsticks and chocolate fondue that changed history of snacking forever.
  4. ↑ Three sweet rice dumplings on a stick. Because everything tastes better on a stick.
  5. ↑ Small, round crackers made with glutinous rice and flavored with soy sauce. Heroes will eat anything mixed with peanuts at a bar.
  6. ↑ These are made of finely minced and steamed fish paste.
  7. ↑ Glorified french fries.
  8. ↑ May contain flavorings such as anko (red bean mash), agar jelly, mochi (rice cakes), fruits, and/or boiled peas.
  9. ↑ Known monster enthusiast Hayao Miyazaki shows ash monsters with this sweet treat in his documentary movie "Spirited Away."
  10. ↑ LImited-Time Offer! Discount in celebration of getting rid of the nearby Boartender competition!
  11. ↑ Hah! Take that, Boartender!
  12. ↑ Enjoyed by heroines for its faint aroma of camellia flower.
  13. ↑ Fermented from rice. 15-18% alcohol.
  14. ↑ Distilled from sweet potato (imo), barley (mugi), rice (kome), and other ingredients. 25-30% alcohol (up to 45% on a good, illegal day).
  15. ↑ Distilled from long-grain indica rice.
  16. ↑ Low-malt beer.
  17. ↑ Peach liquor
  18. ↑ Yuzu citrus steeped in junmai sake.
  19. ↑ Muahaha, it's not alcohol! 'Tis but β€œgreen soup” made from kale!
  20. ↑ It's never too late to try some probiotics.
  21. ↑ It could be beer, it could be wine... who knows?
  22. ↑ ShōchΕ« mixed with soda.
  23. ↑ When you accidentally drop sugared plum in your perfectly good ShōchΕ«.
  24. ↑ Restores electrolytes. That's all you want to know.
  25. ↑ Beer-flavoured beverage, usually mixed with ShōchΕ«. Studies suggest that Hoppy might help with recovery from seasonal depression and respiratory illnesses like pneumonia and bronchitis. Stocked next to Iodine solution cider.


JanuWiki 2019
Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist πŸ» Barbeerian πŸ» Beer Cub πŸ» Beer Golem πŸ» Beer Mugger πŸ» Beerburglar πŸ» Beerkat πŸ» Beerserker πŸ» Beerwolf πŸ» Boartender πŸ» Brewpid the Reindeer πŸ» Diet Sprite πŸ» Drinkerella πŸ» Extra Dry Djinn πŸ» Methylated Spiritualist πŸ» Red Bull πŸ» Tea Rex πŸ» Tequila Mockingbird
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Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab πŸ» Beer-battered beer πŸ» Beer-scented soap πŸ» Bottle of beer from a wall πŸ» Bottle of domesticated beer πŸ» Bottle of holy ale πŸ» Can of ambrosia πŸ» Exclamation pint πŸ» β€œFree beer” ticket πŸ» Instant beer tablet πŸ» Pint of no return πŸ» Strange brew πŸ» Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork πŸ» Awkward paws πŸ» Bear arms πŸ» Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup πŸ» Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly πŸ» Lion belch
Taverns All Inn πŸ» The Battle Toad πŸ» Caravanserai πŸ» Progress Bar πŸ» The Rumor Mill πŸ» The Sword & Sandal πŸ» The Whinery
Taverns and Bars
All Inn β€’ At the Dragon β€’ The Battle Toad β€’ Boatmurdered β€’ Caravanserai β€’ The Den of Iniquity β€’ The Drunken Clam β€’ Dunquestin β€’ The Glass Cannon β€’ Khaki-colored Dragon β€’ The Mended Drum β€’ Molotov's Cocktail Bar β€’ Progress Bar β€’ The Rumor Mill β€’ The Rusty Goblin β€’ Shepherd’s Stuff β€’ Space Bar β€’ The Sword & Sandal β€’ The Whinery