The Generations of Godville
The 1st Generation By: Hairplug4men
1) You youngsters have no idea how good you've got it! 2) Stay off of my lawn!
Recently, the three-year anniversary of English Godville made me wonder if many knew the history of this world and the changes that have come along since Day 1 g.e.
The First Generation of Godville: 0 g.e. - 232 g.e
Gods 29+ months old
In the first blog update, the developers introduced the Pantheon of Gratitude as a way to show their appreciation to the players. They also introduced the informers which sparked controversy amongst the 1st Gen. Gods – so much so, in fact, that many of them overlooked the many other advancements that came after. The scars linger with some to this day.
By the second update, the Developers noticed the restless Gods had begun fighting in the forums so they created the ideabox in hopes of entertaining them. It did not work. The fighting increased and wars began. Perhaps it was all this fighting that inspired the Developers to gift the Gods with the ability to watch their Heroes duel in the third update.
The updates came quick and heavy then. Godville jumped leaps and bounds, but all was in vain for Gods didn't care about increased or new pantheons, they only cared about their pride and defended it ruthlessly. This inspired the Developers to grant Gods the privilege of sending their Heroes into the arena at the Gods' own choosing. Rather than serve as a distraction from the troubles, this only fueled the wars.
The Developers thought that, perhaps, if the Gods saw their Heroes raising a pet it could teach them to love each other and be kind. The Gods only saw the bad in things by this point and, to them, these new pets – prone to eating their Hero's new special artifacts and dragging the Hero through the mud – were quite the nuisance.
The great crash of 191 g.e. was a much needed time of rest for the battle weary Gods. The very next month they saw the first temple finished and the first Godville Times. Santa Claws brought an end to this generation with hard won gifts for their Heroes.
Great Gods of the First Generation
Hero: Godville's Admin
Age: ~ 39 m.
- The god in control of the Holy Random.
Age: ~ 34 m
- The first temple owner of godville.
Age: ~ 34 m
- The reason we all have a wiki to enjoy!
And, last but certainly not least, my personal two favorite 1st Gen HMers: Syrocko and Ulvolose , about 35 and 34 m old respectively.
Read every post from these five gods and you'll have a new respect for war and arena. As they might say, we have no idea how good we have it now.
At Home with Bella Stewart
| Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!
It's almost summertime, Harvest Moon! And, contrary to what many of us fear, being evil does not cause us to shrivel up and die in the sunlight. So climb out of the dungeon, throw off the dark capes, and let's have a good old-fashioned back yard cook out behind the guild hall!
- Iced Dark Flame and "special" koolaid are great ice breakers and will help everyone get in the mood for some fun in the sun.
- Fire up the barbecue for kitten kabobs, bunny burgers and actual hot dogs!
- Beans, potato salad, beans, beans, chips (puppy, potato, cow) and beans make great side dishes and will come in handy later.
- Flaming s'mores make an impressive dessert. Who needs eyebrows, anyway?
After dinner, it's time for lawn games! Some of my favorites:
- Unicorns make great lawn darts! Oops - poke someone's eye out? Dr. Frank will be passing out free eye patches!
- Dust bunny badminton is always fun, and it's a great way to get rid of the little blighters.
- Bring out your heroes and shovels for a real game of Whack-a-Mole! After a few Dark Flames, this often escalates into Whack-a-Hero, guaranteed fun for (almost) all!
- Time for the three-legged race! Draw straws with your partner to see which one of you loses a leg. Sponsored by Dr. Frank, who's always looking for spare parts.
- After the sun goes down, it's time for some fireworks - to the pup-a-pult! Setting the puppies ablaze first is sure to bring some ooohs and aaahs from the crowd.
- At last it's time to wind down and relax in the blood bath hot tub! See? I told you all those beans would come in handy. Instant jacuzzi!
Fun with Fiends
Here we sit down periodically with a common opponent (a.k.a. a Godville monster) and find out what’s behind the mask. This week’s fiend is: Level Boss.
It’s nothing personal... but you might want to run anyway.
- Q: Why do you fight heroes?
- A: Usually, it's in self defense. I'm actually very peaceful compared to many other monsters, but most of the heroes I fight are hurrying to find a Level Boss and defeat it, and being a Level Boss, I obviously don't want them to do that. No one wants to be defeated, so I think the heroes should just beat it.
- Q: How did you become boss of the level?
- A: Well, it's mostly thanks to my relative peacefulness and my ability to crack the skulls of monsters who oppose me.
- Q: What is your favorite bar/tavern/etc.?
- A: "Down and Out", in Bumchester. The name is like the direction I often want to go during hero ambushes, but as I'm not a mole, I have much lower digging capacity than my fellow bosses underground.
- Q: Which other monster in Godville do you dislike the most, and why?
- A: That would be the Evil Giraffe, because it's so evil. It doesn't even stop to think twice about what it's doing; it just malevolently attacks anything that doesn't look like it. I think monsters should live in peace with heroes, not in pieces.
- Q: What kind of hero do you prefer for dinner?
- A: Dinner? DINNER?! Haven't you heard anything of what I just said? We should live in peace! That said, I prefer those who taste like omelet.
...at this point our interviewer (sadly) admitted his love of omelets and mentioned he’d had one for breakfast. If the screams coming from the interview room after that were any indication... Let’s just say we hope to have a new hire for this feature by next week. If you have a burning question for a Godville monster, or a particular monster you’d like to know more about, submit your questions or ideas to the HMWH staff. Thank you.
Famous HM Heroes This Week
|#876 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1123 g.e.
|Fyurie – 62nd-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Suffer; hara kyrin!”, stands at the 59th position in the pantheon of storytelling under the vigilant supervision of the god Kyrin . She’s asking someone to take a walk on the wild side and report the results via telegram.
|#881 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1128 g.e.
- There is an opinion that Mistress Of Science should get some credit for her yesterday's content enhancements.
Member of the Week
Get to know a member of Harvest Moon! This week's guest is: RDS
Deliciously dark, marvelously malevolent, and totally templed!
- Q: How did you choose HM?
- A: My twin sister is a goody-goodie. The choice was obvious. Plus, I wanted to be just like LD. She's awesome!
- Q: Where does your heroine hide her coin purse?
- A: Between the twins, of course!
- Q: Name something that you and your heroine have in common.
- A: An intense hatred of raindrops!
- Q: What advice would you give a newer player?
- A: Don't give Lucky his charms. That jerk is out for himself!
- Q: What toppings do you like on your kitten sammiches?
- A: Pepperoni and cheese! Wait, that's my tombstone. Sammiches: a good smearing of Dust Bunny.
- Q: Where would your heroine go on her first date...assuming she ever gets one?
- A: She'd go TP Belte's temple!
What would you like to know about your Harvest Moon guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!'
|Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
WANTED: Night vision goggles. Deliver to the person in the tree, in the shadows, next to the bear trap, in front of Ceccetticat's temple.
PERSONAL: Inner demon looking for Love demon to spawn hell child.
FOR SALE: One Silent Knight’s voice box. Never been used.
FOR SALE: While supplies last, hollowed out dust bunny slippers. Made from real, dead, previously owned and discarded dust bunnies. Visit New Again! in Dogville.
HELP WANTED: Help your local AA Chapter today. Arch-nemesis Anonymous is here to help support enemies destroyed by your heroes. With your support, these defeated creatures can rise up to fight another day.
FOR SALE: Used tombstone. Perfect for someone named John Smith. Call OMENS-4-LESS.
WANTED: Poo for flinging. Currently cannot produce enough for my own needs. Will buy in bulk and pay in poo. Call POO-FLI-NGER.
SERVICE: Tientee’s Extermination Service. No pest is too big or too small. Whether it’s ants or your significant other’s aunt, let us do the dirty work for you! Call 555-DRTY-WRK today!
FOR SALE: Upside down maps of Godville. Useless to our heroes but fine wall art for a god! Come to Dustan’s Dusty Dungeon (right downstairs from Dustan’s mom’s place in San Satanos).
FOR LEASE: So your hero got a Trojan horse as a pet... What is a Trojan horse without a Trojan man? Get your Trojan man today and ride him like a king. See Dustan’s mom for details.
PERSONAL: Amazonian goddess looking for love connection. call 555-4-SNU-SNU for the
last best night of your life!
The Writers’ Coroner
|Where Creativity gets disembodied.
|Lightening Strikes |
Goddess of fire, God of rain
Digging and fighting down the path
Traveling to and fro is quite a drain,
Learning and growing but no good at math.
Divine energy sweeps over the night,
Thunder and lightening rattle the clouds
Is it hero's time to fight?
The God voices are way too loud!
To the arena they go strong,
I just hope that god voice wasn't wrong!
Written by: Miss SixthSatan
Be sure to check out page 2 of the Weekly Harvest to read the submissions to the Writer’s Coroner Poetry Contest and don’t forget to vote!
Over the Moon
The Weekly Harvest Quiz
You can’t win if you don’t play!
Congratulations to last week’s winner, Raindropstop who is challenging the month’s previous winners Never More , Miss SixthSatan and Artsonian in this month’s Championship round! Be sure to read next week’s issue for your chance to compete in the next one!
- What: No-holds-barred arena tourney.
When: Now until it’s over.
Where: The ToC forum in the Main Square.
Why: Round 2 starts soon! Watch some of GV’s greatest warriors spend their time and money slapping each other with trout for your entertainment!
- What: VC-only sparring tourney.
When: It’s on like Donkey Kong!
Where: The Yggdrasil The Ash Tree guild forum.
Why: Funny VCs and duels fought hard by warriors but (largely) won by the Random – Come for the entertainment, be inspired to write new VCs for your hero/ine!
- What: Fun casino-style games as well as betting on the ToC and the ytat tourneys] (started June 1, Round 2 just completed).
When: Pretty much all the time.
Where: the Lucky God Casino forum.
Why: High-stakes gambling with no RL cost! You can’t go wrong!
- What: Monster Clamp downs and “Who Done It?” murder mystery games.
Where: the Godville’s Regiment forum.
Why: Fun with folks from all over GV!
But wait! There’s more!