The Arena: Good vs Evil
Encourage vs Punish in the the Arena
It’s Good versus Evil in the ToC!
The Godville Tournament of Champions III: Good vs Evil begins tomorrow, folks! In preparation, we thought it would be a great idea to get to know the goody-goody side of the arena. Knowing nothing about the E button ourselves, we ran to Shannonus to ask what it feels like:
The Art of the Saintly Smoter
There are some gods out there (and I’m not going to name names, but they tend to congregate in a guild that rhymes with Narvest Noon) who think the only way to strike fear into the hearts of their foes is by going all lightning crazy and leaving giant burning craters all over Godville. Well, there’s only one way to put this—they’re wrong. Sure, it’s fun to smote with fire a bit now and again, but one awkward bounce and you’re toast. Who wants to live with that stress?
I prefer to live by the old adage “She who laughs last, laughs longest.” In other words, the last hero standing wins, so you just need to not die. How? By healing like a madperson, that’s how. If you keep healing, they can’t kill you. With any luck, you’ll action lock your rival’s poor, evil self, or, alternatively, they’ll keel over from exhaustion on Step 123. Now, this works best if you’ve been practicing your benevolence ahead of time, so enter the arena as “pure good!” and you’re on your way to the pantheons.
Plus, remember the whole fear-striking-heart bit? Ask anyone… who really wants to meet a serial healer in the arena? Those fights take forever! Fear struck. Game, set, match.
Yes, it would be terribly skewed not to give the Evil perspective on this matter, so we asked none other than Marked8 who has always stuck to his guns... and knives, and explosives...
Kill it with FIRE!
You are big, you are bad, you are ready to throw down. You rain punishment down on your opponent like there is no tomorrow inflicting massive damage...
Until: rainbows... lights... fairies... and your opponent has regained most of their health.
Serial encouragers are a scourge, but there are many people willing to hit encourage after encourage in an effort to keep their hero alive to compensate for poor arena skills.
So what is the downside you ask? Serial encouragers risk several things. For one, just using encourage will change your alignment quickly if you are in the evil spectrum. You run the risk that your opponent will action lock you to fight back and your battle can become a long dragged out voice command only fight. An opponent punishing you will also generally take away more HP than the encourage gives back while doing nothing to the opponent but causing aggravation, and you risk a backfire that will give your opponent more HP. There are alternatives to the encourage such as the “heal” command, so do not be afraid to use it.
I would only use the encourage command if imminent defeat is headed your way.
There you have it! Encourage in a nut shell... err, two nut shells... as seen by two nuts? Just kidding! Kinda. Hope this helps you as you track the fights between Good, Evil, Neutral and the random Chaos players in the ToC! You can follow the brackets, pop into the ToC forum in the Main Square for duel logs, hang out at the Lucky God Casino and bet on your favorites (tell them the HMWH sent ya and they’ll set you up with 25 chips to start your new-found gambling habit!), or visit with the fighters and fight fans in the [godville tournament of champions] group on Palringo. Enjoy the fights! We know we will!
Doctor Frank's Advice Corner
Long time reader, first time writer - I just love your column! Your advice is always so dependable. This may be a bit outside your field of expertise, but... My mother-in-law will be visiting this summer and she always turns my kids into a couple of goody-goodie brats in less than 72 hours. If I wanted them to “clean” their room, I’d tell them to! And NO, we don’t like walnuts in our banana bread! We don’t even like banana bread! A penguin smoothie for breakfast, kitty sammich for lunch, and a sensible dinner, thank you very much. To top it all off, her beloved son will be going on a boss-monster hunt with his buddies right before she arrives, so I’ll be home alone with her for TWO DAYS!! I’m just horrified. Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated.
Signed, can I consider my monster-in-law a boss monster?
Dearest, Of course you can!!
So sorry, our beloved leader is out this week, but I saw your letter and knew it had to be answered quickly so you’re stuck with me! Never fear! The answer to your problems is right here! Sure, it takes a little longer to prepare your mother-in-law than the average side of Heromnivore, what with the jewelry and perfume you have to get rid of before processing, but I guarantee you a more tender, more flavorful dinner in the long run. And, yes, your husband may miss his momma, but at least this way she can always be a part of him! Besides, let’s face it, sister: we all know he’s not bringing home dinner from his “hunting trip” so you may as well have a hearty meal on the table when he arrives.
- 1 1/2 pounds ground … meat
- 1 egg
- 1 onion, chopped
- 1 cup milk
- 1 cup dried bread or cracker crumbs
- salt and pepper to taste
- 2 tablespoons brown sugar
- 2 tablespoons prepared mustard
- 1/3 cup ketchup
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
- In a large bowl, combine meat, egg, onion, milk and bread (or cracker) crumbs. Season with salt and pepper to taste and place in a lightly greased 5x9 inch loaf pan, or form into a loaf and place in a lightly greased 9x13 inch baking dish.
- In a separate small bowl, combine the brown sugar, mustard and ketchup. Mix well and pour over the meatloaf.
- Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 1 hour.
Obviously, you’ll have more than 1.5 pounds of meat, but this recipe is easy to halve or to double if you’re thinking about bringing a main dish to the next block party. If the kids get sick of meatloaf, feel free to stop by the Harvest Moon kitchen for more recipes! Happy hunting!
Yours, Dr. Frank
Fun with Fiends
Here we sit down periodically with a common opponent (a.k.a. a Godville monster) and find out what’s behind the mask. This week’s fiend is: Pac Man.
It’s nothing personal... but you might want to run anyway.
- Q: Why do you fight heroes?
- A: I love pellets, but the greedy ghosts in Monsterdam won't let me have any without paying them either lots of gold or hero brains, so I kill heroes to get both. Of course, I have to kill a lot of heroes to get anything substantial when it comes to brains.
- Q: What is your favorite bar/tavern/etc.?
- A: Anywhere they sell pellets, which is only in the haunted shops in Monsterdam.
- Q: What is your worst nightmare?
- A: Getting eaten by a giant pellet three times my size, I lie awake at night, shivering, just thinking about it.
- Q: How many roads must a Pac Man walk down?
- A: As many as it takes to get all the pellets! Plus some to avoid the shopkeepers.
- Q: What kind of hero do you prefer for dinner?
- A: I don't know. Are there heroes that taste like pellets? You know, heroes should have delivered pellets instead of cookies...
...at this point our interviewer took his plate of cookies and fled in horror as the strangely electronic sound of chomping closed in behind him. We hope he got away! If you have a burning question for a Godville monster, or a particular monster you’d like to know more about, submit your questions or ideas to the HMWH staff. Thank you.
Member of the Week
Get to know a member of Harvest Moon! This week's guest is: NASCAR Fanatic
Burning rubber... and souls in the name of the Blood Moon!
- Q: How did you choose HM?
- A: Who wouldn't? Evil, lots of active Gods/Goddesses, kitten sammiches, simply put, we are just awesome!
- Q: Where does your hero hide his coin purse?
- A: In a secret compartment in his racecar.
- Q: Name something that you and your hero have in common.
- A: A total disregard for speed limits.
- Q: What advice would you give a newer player?
- A: Never let off the throttle. Hit hard and fast in the arena. And join HM!
- Q: What toppings do you like on your kitten sammiches?
- A: A couple drops of motor oil help them slide down the gullet easier.
- Q: Where would your heroine go on her first date...assuming she ever gets one?
- A: That's an easy one! The HM racetrack (currently under construction just outside the guild hall).
What would you like to know about your Harvest Moon guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!'
|Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
ON SALE NOW: While supplies last, the Godville bestseller: The Sock Inside of Me written by Hairplug4men . Will pay you to buy the copies he bought in GV.
NOW PLAYING: New from IBS Productions, the people who brought you film classics like Death in a Toilet, and Everybody Poops (But Not Like That), proudly present their Broadway debut Fiddler on the Pot now playing in Bumchester!
NEW! Get the Mistress of Madness, our Evil leader’s first ever cookbook: 101 Ways to Skin a Cat on sale now at quality retailers everywhere!
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Remember to clean the four important areas: the back, the front, your pits and teeth. Save time by using the same brush for all the areas.
FOR LEASE: Low miles, slightly used ad space. Zero down, excellent financing options available. Contact the HMWH staff for info.
FOR SALE: Portable tombstones - for the hero who seems to die too much. Now your hero can rest in peace wherever his carcass may land. Lightweight, marble finish gives class and style with ease of movement. Available at Coughin’s Coffins n’ More in Anville.
SELF HELP: Is your hero more beer gut than beer? More spare tire than rolling wheel of destruction? Try the latest diet sensation: euthanasia! It's fun, easy and guaranteed to work 100 percent of the time. Follow these two easy steps: make them stop eating and hold their breath and *BOOM!* Euthanized! As the body decomposes the pounds will literally shed off their bones. People have made claims that there are quicker methods but they are not recommend and may be hazardous to your health.
WANTED: Life-size goddess dummy made of concrete and spiky things. Deliver to the bear trap in front of Ceccetticat's temple in the dark of night.
The Writers’ Coroner
|Where Creativity gets disembodied.
|Noise in the Clouds |
Voices travel like thunder crash
Goddess' blunders, talks too fast
Rainbows and lightning together, no way!
Those silly Deities just like to play.
Written by: Miss SixthSatan
Hear ye, hear ye! Only a few days left to submit your written art work for me to
burn publish for all to see. If you are reading this and still haven't entered, your time is now. Don't wait! Send it in today because this deal is closing fast!
You want to see your poem up in lights? All poems received by the deadline will be published in next week's issue when voting begins!
We invite all our neighbors from all walks of life, guilds and alignments to participate and let us show off your work to all of Godville. The rules are as follows:
- Compose a poem, 4 - 6 lines in length, any style or format that you would like.
- Incorporate the theme of the contest into your poem somehow. Please keep in mind that the theme is related to Godville. This month’s theme is: "Arena"
- One entry per person.
- The poems will remain anonymous to the public until the winner is chosen.
- Contest open to all players of Godville.
Submit your poem in a private message to Miss SixthSatan via either Palringo or Godville, or email her directly at firstname.lastname@example.org (please don't forget to include your Godname) Note: All poems submitted and published are (c) their respective authors.
Deadline: Monday, June 10th 2013 by 12:00 pm Eastern Time
All entries received by the deadline will be entered in the contest. Poems will not be published until they go up for voting.
Prizes: So what's in it for you? You get to show off your creativity while gaining friendships
and fame in the process. Ok, we can't lie... That isn't everything!
Grand Prize: The winner will be able to choose either an interview in our "Get to Know a Deity" feature or spotlight their guild with a "Behind the Guild" feature article in The Weekly Harvest.
2nd Place: The runner up will be mentioned in our Special Announcements section and have the option to ask one of our experts, either Bellatrixie or Dr. Frank, a question they'd like answered in a subsequent issue.
Read this wiki page for more information. Good luck and good writing!
Over the Moon
The Weekly Harvest Quiz
You can’t win if you don’t play!
How to play:
- Each week, there will be four “questions” posted here (and only here) in the Weekly Harvest. Answers to the questions can be found in the wiki, on the HM web site, in the forums or will be math/logic-based.
- Your “answers” must be in question form (a-la Jeopardy!).
- Answers must be submitted via the Harvest Moon Forum. Answers only, please! Don’t give away the questions to non-WH readers.
- The first god/dess to get all four questions right will win four (4) charges and be automatically entered to play in the Over the Moon Championship, held monthly on Palringo (yes, you’ll need to join Pal to play).
- The winner of the OtM Championship (to be based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!
This week’s Answers:
- This type of formal poem structure is composed of sets of three lines, where the last word of the second line rhymes with the first and third lines of the next set of three lines.
- A god who has never had IQ points taken away has exactly 100 IQ points. This god has the same number of grammar corrections and ER edits approved. Assuming the god has no gratitude points from other sources, this is the number of gratitude points the god has now.
- This was the date that the first Weekly Harvest was announced.
- They celebrated their one-year anniversary on 1 June, 2013.
Congratulations to last week’s winner, Never More , who will join Miss SixthSatan and Artsonian in this month’s Championship round! Kaam Dev won the last Championship. Who will be our final contestant to vie for the title this round? It could be you! See you in the forum!
- What: No-holds-barred arena tourney.
When: June 6, 2013 (aka 6/6/66).
Where: The ToC forum in the Main Square.
Why: Celebrate the insanity! RAWR!
- What: Fun casino-style games as well as betting on the ToC and the YTAT VC-only tourney (started June 1).
When: Pretty much all the time.
Where: the Lucky God Casino forum.
Why: You should get out more often. Meet yourself a nice girl.
- What: Jam session! BYOI (Bring Your Own Instrument).
When: Whenever you show up.
Where: the Musicians’ Guild forum.
Why: Good times, great people!