Placed the last brick, swept all the rooms...
What is a temple?
A temple is built to hero/ine once they’ve collected 1000 (100%) Golden Bricks. This also adds a new feature to the God/dess’ [Remote Control]: the Miracle button.
Why do I need one?
A temple exists for the hero to have somewhere to pray to his/her diety. This is also a good source of income later in the game when you visit it. The more complete your temple, the more donations your hero may find there when they visit. This can help by giving you gold to make more bricks or help revive your beloved pet.
The temple, when complete, will give back a charge for your Godpower accumulator or some gold with each visit to Godville. The hero/ine can also donate gold to it in exchange for experience points if they arrive at Godville with 10-, 20- or 30-thousand gold coins.
Read next week’s issue for more information on Miracles.
At Home with Bella Stewart
| Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!
Last week I announced that my column today would answer your, dear readers, questions. Since NOT ONE of you sent a question in, I can only assume that all your lives are perfectly in order and you don't...sniff...need me. Well, fine. I'm just going to sit here and feast on worms - great big juicy ones, little bitty skinny ones...I'm sure you get my drift. But hell hath no fury like a Bella scorned, so first I'm going to fire up the old karaoke machine and sing you a song, because I know how much you all enjoy my voice. Heh heh.
Bella, just burned my meal,
Put my dinner in to roast, then forgot it - now it's toast.
Bella, it had smelled so good,
And now I have to throw it all away.
Wish I'd asked for your advice,
If you're not back again next week, such sorrow!
It's my fault, it's my fault,
I should have sent a question....
Next week: Hmph! Well, we'll see...
Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send Bellatrixie the Strange (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.
Get To Know a Deity
Here we sit down weekly with a Harvest Moon warrior and find out what makes them tick. This week’s Deity is Blood Council-member: Doctor Frank-n-furter 庙
Pleased to meet you! Come on in for a bite!
- Q: Wha-
- A: I’ll save you some time: The Time Warp, and you’ve all seen my underwear.
- Q: OK. Point taken. What are your hero’s marketable skills?
- A: He’s a faithful handyman, he practices “intimate tickling” and “toe bite” fairly well (he has a good teacher) but he utterly disappointed me by acquiring all 10 of his skills and never getting “death by snu-snu.” I’m still pouting.
- Q: Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
- A: Of course I get emotional about Encouraging! I get emotional about shoe shopping or deciding which pearls to wear. I’m an emotional kind of guy. Don’t print that.
- Q: Err... Of course not! How about you? Do you have any hidden talents?
- A: I do... would you like to come up to my lab for a demon... stration?
- Q: Umm... I’ll ask the questions, thanks. Last one: Really? sigh What do you like to do in your spare time?
- A: I love to experiment! I enjoy whipping... up new dishes in the kitchen and… you really should come up to my lab sometime. ;)
If you have a burning question for Harvest Moon's Deities, please submit them to the staff. Thank you!
NEW FEATURE! Over the Moon (The Weekly Harvest Quiz)
How to play:
We've got games, we've got prizes, all that’s missing is a theme song.
- Each week, there will be four “questions” posted here (and only here) in the Weekly Harvest. Answers to the questions can be found in the wiki, on the HM web site, in the forums or will be math/logic-based.
- Your “answers” must be in question form (a-la Jeopardy!).
- Answers must be submitted via the Harvest Moon Forum. Answers only, please! Don’t give away the questions to non-WH readers.
- The first god/dess to get all four questions right will win four (4) charges and be automatically entered to play in the Over the Moon Championship, held monthly on Palringo (Yes, you’ll need to join Pal to play. No, members of the paper staff are not eligible to win the weekly quiz or the challenge).
- The winner of the OtM Championship (to be based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!
This week’s Answers:
- Currently the oldest god in the Harvest Moon Blood Council.
- One needs this many Ideas Quality (IQ) points for full access to the Enhancement Room (ER).
- This is the requirement for obtaining the Achievement of Hunter, 1st Rank.
- Three gods of Harvest Moon, Syprox, Absent Goddess, and Wappo, built their temples close to each other in the Harvest Moon village in Godville town. Syprox’s temple is 12 meters away from Absent Goddess’ temple, and Wappo’s temple is a 16 meters away from Syprox’s temple. The three temples form a triangle with an area of 96 square meters. This is the distance between Absent Goddess’ temple and Wappo’s temple.
See you in the forum! Good luck!
Famous HM Heroes This Week
|#753 GODVILLE TIMES Day 992 g.e.
|Aricatus - 48th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Kaboom, I say, kaboom! ☾”, stands at the 122th position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god Elementarion . All he ever wanted was a little love and affection.
|#755 GODVILLE TIMES Day 994 g.e.
|Felipe Enormowang - 50th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “I wish I wasn't so fat...”, stands at the 96th position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god Baws Banger . His worst enemy - a Knee-high Archer. Favorite trophy - something that looks like some mental floss. He is also a huge fan of Godvillewood’s pubs.
|#756 GODVILLE TIMES Day 995 g.e.
|Meta-K02 - 68th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Let the night fall... ☾”, stands at the 72nd position in the pantheon of savings under the vigilant supervision of the goddess Night Falls . He is deeply gratified by his place in the pantheon and is not planning to give it up any time soon.
Member of the Week
Get to know a newer member of Harvest Moon! This week's guest is: Jimmy Valmer
YES, disassemble! This bot just gets it.
- Q: How did you choose HM?
- A: I was looking all through Godville for a guild that was feared enough for Funnybot to fit in. Finally I found HM and knew that it was a perfectly evil fit.
- Q: Where does your hero hide his coin purse?
- A: I think he lost it at the tavern. Now he just steals candy from babies and pennies from those 'leave a penny, take a penny' dishes to make ends meet.
- Q: Name something(s) you and your hero have in common.
- A: We are both fond of South Park, beer, baseball and beer. Did I mention that we both like beer?
- Q: What advice would you give another, newer player?
- A: Conserve GP and spam VCs in the arena. Don't be afraid of losing occasionally and remember this is a game... so enjoy.
- Q: What toppings do you like on your kitten sammiches?
- A: I am glad you asked since I consider myself a connoisseur of kitten sammiches. I prefer mustard and of course more kittens (never ketchup).
What would you like to know about your Harvest Moon guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!
|Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
|MISSING: Galldemort's shoes. Please return them to the Harvest Moon guild hall, no questions asked. Hurry, before heroes everywhere start keeling over from the stench of his feet!
|FOR SALE: Slightly used diary. Okay, totally used, but we all get the same entries. Just number them differently. 1-I-SAVE-TREES
|WANTED: Ideabox votes! I won't tell you which ingenious ideas are mine, just vote "yes" for all of the really funny ones and I'm sure you'll hit mine. Thanks in advance!
|LOST: Level 18 solar bear, slightly used. Answers to the name “Scratchy.” He's not dead! I tell you, he's not! See the heroine sobbing in the corner with any information.
|WANTED: Information leading to finding the location of Rufustjynd. Call 1-866-SECRETS - Reward for legitimate leads.
|FOUND: 6 kittens on a doorstep. Free to a good home. Too cute for sammiches! Contact "Trixiebelle" at 1-RU-EVIL-ENUF (Note: This is not a test. Really.)
|NEEDED: 200 gold bricks or 122 godpower charges - your choice! Bricks can be dropped of at my temple, charges can be gifted! Call 2-LAZY-2-WORK for details!
|PERSONAL: Single, young hero seeks heroine for just one date. Please. I can't stand the rejection anymore! If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain, meet me at Molotov's Cocktail Bar and we'll plan our escape... or date. Just one date. Yeah.
Doctor Frank's Advice Corner
We're thrilled to have a guest columnist this week in Frank's Corner. Please welcome Zeerty who we're sure will, at the very least, be more tactful in his responses than our usual columnist. Thank you, Zeerty!
He wears the outfit well, don’t you think?
My heroine spent countless months obtaining a thousand bricks and completed a temple in my honor, but now she won't stop collecting bricks. And she's not doing anything useful with them. What can I tell my heroine to do with the bricks?
Signed, A reluctant OCD enabler
Dearest Efficiency pursuer:
Congratulations on the completion of your temple. In last week's paper, we talked about What is a Golden Brick, now we will learn about what to do with bricks post-temple.
What are good uses for Golden Bricks after your temple?
- An attractive gift for one's Empress
- Much better to find in your pants than the "other" kind
- Payment for writing a Weekly Harvest article
- Breaking open mystery boxes
- To be lugged around for some reason only to have them stolen by passerbys in a skirmish
- Bury them in the ground so other heroes can diggy-dig it up
- A sturdy paperweight
- A convenient way to hold 3000 gold coins, and never get them back
- To be painted black and turned into a fake lead brick
- A way better gift than roses - less stinky, too
- Put one in a sock and it's a lethal weapon
The possibilities are endless!
P.S.: If you have additional ideas about what to do with Golden Bricks post-temple, send them Frank's way and it may be published in next week's paper.
|Guest writers wanted!
Do you have ideas for the Weekly Harvest? Send them in!
Maybe you have an idea for or a completed article, a guild-mate you’d like to get to know or a question you’d like to see one of them answer, an idea for Bella, a question for Frank, a classified ad, or maybe you just want to toss some snark our way.
Don’t be shy! Send those ideas to any member of the paper staff today! You might regret it, but we'll certainly be happy you did!