What is a Golden Brick?
Most likely, unless you’ve only been playing for a day or two (in which case: Welcome to Godville!) or living under a fairly large rock, chances are you’ve seen mention of these shiny baubles a time or two. Golden bricks are what your hero/ine will build your temple out of. They are arguably the most valuable item your hero/ine can find... until they’ve collected 1,000 of them, at which point, they will complete your temple.
How do you get these magnificent, shiny bricks?
There are several ways:
- Punish or Encourage your hero/ine when they have 3,000 gold coins or more (it’s very helpful to set notifications on your phone or in Google Chrome to alert you to these moments if you’re looking to “brick faster.”
- You have a chance at getting a brick just for sending to the arena, you get one for winning in the arena and you have a chance at getting one if you “time out” (don’t match) in the arena.
- You get one just for finishing a quest (some epic quests give you more than one).
- You may get one (or more) if you defeat a one of the boss-monsters you can dig up or if you finish a mini-quest that ends in a boss-monster and defeat it.
So, you have your 1,000th brick. What next? Read next weeks issue for more information on The Temple.
At Home with Bella Stewart
| Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!
While looking through the Harvest Moon castle the other day in search of my misplaced thumbscrews, I came across a number of leftover holiday guests who looked as though they had permanently moved in. Not only that, they were starting to smell. They had to go, but they obviously had no intention of doing so - I had to get creative, and so this week's column is: How to get rid of guests who have overstayed their visit!
- Tell them they're being relocated to Lady Darkness' and Dogess' room. If seeing their torture “toys” on the walls doesn't send them packing, one night ought to do the trick.
- Offer a free concrete body wrap in the spa. Once it sets, spray them gold and have the evil gnomes lay them on the foundation of a rival's unfinished temple.
- Hide Hairplug4men's sock under their pillow. (Just the threat of doing this will send most people flying out the door. )
- Have Dr. Frank-n-furter show them his lab. They may not leave, but trust me, you'll probably never see them again.
- Get me drunk and set up the karaoke machine. Few can withstand the awesome awfulness...erm, power of my voice.
- Lock them in a room with Mistress of Science while she explains calculus and quantum physics to them. This may not work on everyone, but it sure works on me!
- Let the late-night Palringo crew loose with colored sharpies once the guest has passed out from too much Dark Flame. Not only will they leave the next morning, they'll remember us for a long, long, looooong time.
- Give them a tour of the Harvest Moon kitchen. If that doesn't gross them out, nothing will.
- Unscrew all the lightbulbs in their room, tack a sign up that says "Sarika," and wait for Rufus to get home. Take photos.
- If all else fails, lock them in Hairplug4men's closet for five minutes. Warning: NOT for the faint-hearted. Casualties may occur. Always wear a gas mask and gloves.
No more pesky guests! I feel so great about it, I think I'll break into song! Now where's that karaoke mic?
Next week: Bella answers your decorating, entertaining, and cooking questions! So send them in!
Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send Bellatrixie the Strange (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.
Get To Know a Deity
Here we sit down weekly with a Harvest Moon warrior and find out what makes them tick. This week’s Deity is Blood Council-member: Zeerty 庙畜
The quacker to our cheese!
- Q: What song do you love to dance to?
- A: I like to dance to [http://youtu.be/Pwe-pA6TaZk Where the Hell is Matt?
- Q: What color underwear are you wearing?
- A: Um, let me check... it's the color Gap.
- Q: What are your hero’s marketable skills?
- A: It's definitely the “Rays of love” skill that I taught her. Can you think of a skill more the antithetical for an evil heroine to use than “Rays of love?”
- Q: Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
- A: Absolutely not. I know my heroine is evil at heart, so if I have to use an encourage here or there, it won't heal the evil within her.
- Q: Do you have any hidden talents?
- A: Oh yes. Although in public my heroine only has ten skills, I know she secretly has these five as well:
- Incompetence, 20th level
- Denial, 19th level
- Beer Pong, 17th level
- Kicking and Screaming, 16th level
- Microsoft Word, 14th level
If you have a burning question for Harvest Moon's Deities, please submit them to the staff. Thank you!
No-Influence Tournament Results
|It was riveting, ladies and other folks! Riveting! Every match in the finals came down to a tiebreaker. Divine Dark Queen and her hero Evil Apprentice took down Tao Zen and Shao Mao in two out of three matches, making Divine Dark Queen our third place winner.
The action continued as Absent Goddess and her heroine Simply Confused valiantly defended against the young up-and-comer Manhernandez295 (hero of the same name) to no avail. In yet another round requiring all three matches, Manhernandez295 took the win and took home first prize.
Congratulations (and charges) to each of our top-four contestants and a hearty “Thanks for playing!” to everyone else who participated. The No-Influence Tournament is held quarterly, so get ready for April if you weren’t able to make this one! All you need is an invite or two! Hope to see you there.
Member of the Week
Get to know a newer member of Harvest Moon! This week's guest is: King Heem
So fresh and new he (almost) still smells good!
- Q: How did you choose HM?
- A: I wanted to let out my inner evil and join a group that will inflict more pain than a Lego. >:)
- Q: Where does your hero hide his coin purse?
- A: In his pants lining >_> (don't remember that).
- Q: Name something(s) you and your hero have in common.
- A: He loves tacos as much as I do :)
- Q: What advice would you give another, newer player?
- A: For the first few days of you starting your hero give them as much attention as a baby
- Q: What toppings do you like on your kitten sammiches?
- A: Heinz chocolate ice cream syrup >;)
What would you like to know about your Harvest Moon guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!
|Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
|Wanted: Classified ads! Have something to sell? Want something you’re willing buy or trade for? Looking to hire an assassin? Send it in! All we ask in return is your soul (once you’re done with it, of course).
|Attention: Will the Deity in charge of the jerk that keeps parking his Double Dragon outside of the Los Demonos trader’s hut please make them stop? A cranky Dragon is rarely good for business and when my business is down, prices are effected. Thank you!
|Reply: To the arms dealer: If any of those 3.5 pair of arms make a matching set, please bring them to Molotov’s Cocktail Bar on Day 993 g.e.
|Found: Book of “Creative Voice Commands.” Not returning them, just thought you might want to know they’ll be put to good use.
Doctor Frank's Advice Corner
|Dear Dr. Frank,
My hero keeps running into the same heroine. She invites him to share her fire, plies him with drinks, even reads (and occasionally writes in) his diary. Is he being stalked, or are they just good friends?
Signed, A little creeped out
Dearest Optimistic beyond belief,
You wish your hero was being stalked by that little gal! Be honest: you’re hoping she can turn him around, be a good influence on him, make him understand that you only want what’s best for him and that you Punish him because he needs it, not because you’re sadistic and cruel. I’ll give you the bad news first. Not happening, sweetheart. First: you are sadistic and cruel and, while our heroes may not be the most moral of creatures, I have yet to see one lie successfully. Second: if your hero could get a date, all of Godville would be lining up to ask “How did he do that?” Why? Because stalking requires intent and our heroes just aren’t that bright! Every other hero is out there getting slapped, having restraining orders filed against them, and otherwise failing miserably at having a social life. If you’ve found a secret formula that changes that: please, do share!
Here’s the good news: Your hero has a friend! Friends can be useful. They stop by with some tasty buns or offer a beer at the most convenient of times. The more friends you have, the more you’ll see. If you only have a few friends, it can certainly look a bit stalkery. Branch out! When you get invites, send them to your guildmates (friending folks who are active in your Guild Council is a great place to start)! Did you know you can send an invite without using 50% of your godpower to save it? Just “Invite a friend” when you have one in inventory. Still insist your hero is being stalked? Send him to me! When I’m done with him, the little hussy won’t be interested anymore, I guarantee it.
No question is too great or too small! Submit your questions for Doctor Frank-n-furter to any member of the staff. No invites? Send them via email to email@example.com.
|Do you Live eviL?
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