Difference between revisions of "Talk:Harvest Moon"

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'''This week’s featured topic:''' ''Tribbles''
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'''This week’s featured topic:''' ''AMCW''
  
 
'''Other useful links:'''
 
'''Other useful links:'''
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| style="background:#FBEACA" |'''''A veritable fountain of useless information.''''' • #40
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| style="background:#FBEACA" |'''''Who thought of this genius Idea?''''' • #40
 
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{| id="mp-left" style="vertical-align:left; background:#FBEACA;"
! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">'''Tribble Troubles'''</p>
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! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">'''Behind the Guild: Ankh-Morpork City Watch'''</p>
 
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| <div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:2px 5px"> <div id="mp-dyk"> [[File:Tribble-anatomy.jpg|right|thumb|Taking a closer look at the tribble.]] '''An Investigation into the Tribble Incursion''' <br> <sub>By: {{god|Beeporama}}</sub>
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| <div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:2px 5px"> <div id="mp-dyk"> [[File:TheWatch.jpg|right|thumb|The Watchers... Watching.]] <br> <sub>By: the AMCW writers</sub>
  
If you've opened a Mystery Box lately (or played through April Fool's Day of 2013) you've probably had a tribble (or two, or three, or twenty) in your inventory. But what are they? We've mentioned them before in [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=37726 Issue #22], but let's dig a little deeper.
+
''{{god|Lord77}} walks in, dressed in a Shakespearean style outfit, trying hard to avoid the chafing caused by the ridiculous purple tights he’s sporting. Clearing his voice, blowing on the feather in his cap to keep it off of his face and then half-choking on it, he prepares to recite.''
  
Fans of Star Trek will recognize them immediately. These fictional creatures were known for being small, round, furry, adorable... and for reproducing at an astounding rate. This will be obvious to players whose heroes picked up a tribble, only to find themselves carrying a dozen a few hours later.
+
...In the beginning, there was {{god|Samuel Vimes}}.  And, Samuel Vimes said, let there be the [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]], and it was good. And, {{god|Samuel Vimes}} imparted wisdom, knowledge, aided those that were confused, in need, and the guild was peaceful.
  
Tribbles will gradually multiply, taking up more and more of a player's inventory slots. Most traders won't buy tribbles, so eventually, the hero will be unable to carry more valuable artifacts. Eventually the hero will sell them, but it's hard to say whether the cost is worth the trouble of losing so much inventory space for the day or so it takes...
+
Then, Samuel Vimes was pulled away from our guild, and things got...well, strange...
  
At this point, you're probably asking, "but what can I do about them?"... unfortunately, not much, other than try to avoid getting them. They are found in [[Activatable_Artifacts|activatable artifacts]] like the Box With A Question Mark, Deus Ex Machina, Mystery Box, etc., which generally cost 50% godpower and can make a "good or bad" thing happen to the hero. With a lot of luck, you might be able to lose one to a pickpocketing boss; but this is unlikely, and you frequently get several at a time. If you aren't carrying much else but tribbles, you might try a "die" voice command... but the best thing to do might be to wait it out! You can pass the time playing [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/2312 The Tribble Game] while you wait.
+
''The image of {{god|Lord77}} pulls away, unfocusing for a moment and then becoming clear again. {{god|Susan Sto Helit}} and {{god|Azzageddi}} sit at the Watch House’s Historical Archives (mostly known as “The place where we throw everything we don’t need, want or eat, please beware of the llamas” these days), surrounded by ancient manuscripts, dusty books and the occasional llama.''
  
For more information you can check out the [[Tribble|GodWiki article on tribbles]], which I largely wrote (although anybody with more information is welcome to edit it!) or PM me. A good deal of my information came from other gods, so like any other part of the game, you can always turn to Guild Chat or Palringo for help.
+
''{{god|Susan Sto Helit}} closes the tome she’s been consulting, killing a small mouse in the process, and says,'' The AMCW goes back several millennia, having been created in the year of the cross-eyed cow, [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=1#post_40997 some months ago]. Our honorable founders, who are no longer around much, established it so that Godville could have some sort of order."
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{|
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{{god|Azzageddi}}: “Even if we are using a rather forgiving concept of order here...”
! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">At Home with Bella Stewart</p>
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|-
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{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “Indeed. After all with such a vast and diverse body of competent, zealous, -law-abiding- law-enforcing... hmm, competent officers, it is easy to sometimes step on someone’s toes (number of toes may vary, mainly because of [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=76#post_143710 Mith Igorina’s fine work]).
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{{god|Azzageddi}}: “I still have a few extras. They’re quite useful. They make fine chopstick holders.”
| [[File:Bella Stewart.jpg|thumbnail|Queen of evil]] '''Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!'''  
+
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “Right... too much information there... Anyway, we are not, by far, the oldest officers in the Watch but I guess we have seen the Guild through some rough times.”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=63#post_103995 The crickets}... oh, [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=64#post_105091 the crickets]” ''(shudders)''
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: ''(smiles nostalgically)'' “The crickets... And the fire-breathing vampire bats. [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=76#post_143710 They took a liking to you].”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: "They liked me WAY too much!"
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: "Well, they were nothing compared to the [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=77#post_154078 chocolate hippos...]”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “Was that really chocolate in the pool? Because I certainly never tasted any of it.”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “And just how curious are you?”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: ''(silence, crickets sing in the background)'' "...I withdraw the question."
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: "Well, fortunately, Leonard took care of them. Well, sort of... But there was one infestation that turned out rather well."
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}:  “Ah, yes! The [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=78#post_168557 Sex-crazed Llamas]!”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: ''(facepalms)'' “No! I mean the [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=81#post_171438 baby-oh-baby buga-buga bunnies].”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “Oh, that infestation!”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: ''(sighs)''  "Well, the baby-oh-baby buga-buga bunnies did start off as one of the main ingredients in the [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=79#post_169047 creation of the sex-crazed llamas].”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: "That... [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=119#post_183191 explains a few things]...”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “I guess it does. But, of course, the bunnies were not always the omnipresent, self-confident beings most people know them to be... Take Mitzi, for instance...”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: "Yes ''(dreamily)''. Well, true, she didn’t use to speak much. In fact, she used to hit me a lot... [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=86#post_174878 and rather hard, too].”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: "Remember when she [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=102#post_177854 broke Lordy’s nose]? [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=105#post_178202 Twice]?”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “Well, I was splintering into [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=102#post_177818 thousands of copies of myself] all over the land at the time, so I didn’t catch it personally.”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “Yeah, I guess you just had to be there...”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “Oh, I was there, all right... and there... and there... and ''(tossing a thumb over his shoulder)'' over there too!
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: "And, of course, there’s always [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=86#post_174884 Sasha and Pasha].”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: "Didn’t they sell Lordy to some gnomes once?"
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “You mean [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=87#post_175076 Gnome-a-geddon]? The great gnome invasions? Our one and only dungeon crawl?”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “Oh yeah! That’s how Sasha and Pasha got enough money to start their bar, actually.”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “You mean the bar we’re not supposed to have because we’re the Watch?”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: "Um, call it a neighborhood-watch meeting room...that just happens to sell hard liquor and have a piano and a chocolate fountain. And a karaoke machine that never plays [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=112#post_181449 what you want it to play].”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “It always seems to please our guests at parties. And we’ve had some good ones.”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “I guess [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=90#post_176038 the luau] was our first big one, wasn’t it?”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “Pretty much. The ones before that could just be classified as ‘spontaneous attempts to get everyone pissed drunk’.”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “Worked for me.”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “Well, they were fun... Drinking has been one of our most effective ways of recruiting new officers into the guild...”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “Like {{god|Godofbeer}}! Yes, he joined us [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=90#post_176229 right around the time of the luau].”
 +
 
 +
''{{god|Godofbeer}} peeks in at the sound of his name associated with parties.'' “Did anyone mention booze?”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “Upstairs, Corporal. Upstairs.”
 +
 
 +
Godofbeer: “Oh, right.. Thanks!''(Leaves)''
 +
 
 +
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “O-kay... Moving on...”
 +
 
 +
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “Hey, wasn’t the luau held right after {{god|Lord77}} joined us?”
  
Today I'm reaching into my mailbag to grab two <s>hand picked</s> perfectly random letters from my readers. And our winners are...
+
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “No, that you’re thinking of the Hogswatch party. But, yes, that luau changed a lot of things for the guild.
  
''Dear Bella, <br>I've killed over 200 boss monsters, and won more than a few skirmishes. Do you have any suggestions for all these dang ears? <br>Signed, <br>Tears for Ears''
+
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “Yes... {{god|Lord77}}, then {{god|Godofbeer}}, then {{god|Ravenvalykre}}...”
  
Here are a few of the ways I use my extra monster ears:
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{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “The unfortunate loss of [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=84#post_174083 Lordy’s drinking buddy]...”
  
* They say you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, but what evil goddess wouldn't love a monster ear handbag? With a variety of sizes, colors, skin types and hairs, you can make a fashion statement for every outfit!
+
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “That was around the time I straightened up. Waking up from a blackout to discover I had somehow been put in charge of things while the Commander was away, pretty much did the trick.
* For those of you who like to putter around in the kitchen or at the fire torture pits, monster ears make wonderful hotpads for lifting that cake out of the oven or that enemy out of the flames. Don't ruin a perfectly good hornicure!
 
* Tired of Dark Flame rings eating into your furniture? Try monster ear coasters! Many are quite resistant to Dark Flame's corrosive properties. But steer clear of the warty ears. Spill a Dark Flame and say goodbye to your coffee table or bar.
 
* I've heard from some Knights Who Say Ni that large monster ears make lovely tea cozies. I cannot attest to this, as I absolutely do not understand the concept of drinking tea (I mean, really, why?), but perhaps some of our Knightly readers may find this useful.
 
  
''Dear Bella, <br>How many different kind of chips can go into a kitty sammich? <br>Signed, <br>Munch 'n Crunch
+
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “Well, technically... {{god|The Almighty Anne}} should be in charge. You were just too drunk to figure that one out.”
  
Well, it really comes down to taste, doesn't it? Do you want the salty crunch of potato or corn chips? Or the sweet taste of chocolate or butterscotch chips? Perhaps you prefer the earthy goodness of cow chips, or the breath-freshening properties of cedar chips. For extra roughage, try wood chips. It's up to you. However, I would NOT recommend Lucky God Casino chips. They're much more useful outside your tummy.
+
{{god|Azzageddi}}: “Wait, what?? ''(checks the Guild lists)'' YOU’RE RIGHT! She’s senior to me! Does this mean I can stop being in charge?”
  
''Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send {{god|Bellatrixie the Strange}} (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.''
+
{{god|Susan Sto Helit}}: “I have no idea and I really don’t care. But I’d say yes, you’re off the hook.
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! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Get to know a Goody-goodie</p>
 
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| [[File:BudaDance.jpg|thumb|right|He said his hero jumped out of a cake... We know better.]]'''NEW FEATURE!''' In an effort to better understand the <s>weaker</s> other side of the personality spectrum, we’ve decided to launch a series of interviews of goody-goodies from all over Godville. Think of it as investigative reporting. This week’s goody is: {{god|Budapesties}}. He’s not always a goody-goodie, but he’s certainly played that side of the coin. And, let’s face it, this whole series is here to help {{god|Hariplug4men}} wrap his head around the Saint 1st Rank achievement ''(shudder)'', so who better to start with than the first god to have all 12 1st ranks?
 
  
* {{color|maroon||First I’d like to thank the wonderfully entertaining and informative “Harvest Weekly” for finding me even slightly interesting enough to ask questions to. So thank you to all the hard workers out there that bring this to us weekly. ''clears throat'' Ok go...}}
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''({{god|The Almighty Anne}} materializes in the room, hands on her hips, tapping her foot)'' “Nuh-uh! No way is he off the hook! This watch is a meritocracy- it doesn’t matter how long I’ve been here! Besides, Sergeant Colon was in the watch longer than Mister Vimes, but you don’t see Colon in charge do you? See? I’m like Co... I’m not even going to finish that! You get the point. And anyway ''(sidling up to the spluttering {{god|Azzageddi}})'', it’s so nice seeing a nice, strong, manly demon in charge... ''(flutters eyelashes)'', the watch just wouldn’t work with little ol’ me running the show." ''(sighs deeply causing a disconcerting amount of movement under the bodice of her dress)''.
* '''Q:''' Killing with kindness, is that a real thing?
 
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' I’m really not sure, I’m pretty sure that kindness can put you on the wrong end of a Smoting... Using ni as a weapon rather than a weakness, one will find that Saints are in fact very powerful.}}
 
* '''Q:''' How do you punish a misbehaving hero?
 
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' You might remember, I spent time getting to Cardinal for the Careerist achievement with a “Fabulass” Blood Moon Queen... A trifling hero is to be hit hard and often with mighty vengeance from the sky, or I turn all the beer to water until point is proven.}}
 
* '''Q:''' If dead puppies don’t make you smile, what does?
 
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' A beautiful Shrubbery or a fresh Herring sandwich from {{god|Jewelz}}.}}
 
* '''Q:''' When in the arena, do you cringe when you have to use the punish button?
 
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Why NO! I enjoy the “Smote” button.}}
 
* '''Q:''' Embracing death, is <s>it</s> ...''ni'' difficult for a goodie?
 
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Being a God ni really wasn’t too hard embracing the death and resurrection of my Hero. What bothers me is the delay of retirement funds, this means I have to help this <s>thing</s> hero around longer.}}
 
* '''Q:''' What’s the most evil thing your hero has ever done?
 
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' That is something I swore I’d never speak of again... (he snuck into the closet.)}}
 
* '''Q:''' Where does your hero hide his coin purse?
 
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Last time I looked, ni was tucked neatly away at the bottom of {{god|SBFH}}’s purse...}}
 
* '''Q:''' Where do good heroes go when they die? (They don’t go to heaven where the angels cry.)
 
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Mine always ends up naked, stealing doormats, and using his “spookiness” to ransack taverns for free beer.}}
 
* '''Q:''' What is your dream outfit for your hero?
 
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' I believe there was a picture taken as ni burst threw a cake...}}
 
* '''Q:''' What advice should I give to somebody who’s “testing the goody-goodie waters” out?
 
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Those waters have Shannonous and SBFH swimming around in them (not bad company).}}
 
  
''If you have a question for a goody-goodie or know of a kind, virtuous, or Pure Good! god/dess you’d like to know more about, submit your questions or ideas to the HMWH staff. Thank you.''
+
''Thank you to our good friends at [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] for sharing their guild’s history with us! We look forward to Part 2 of “Behind the Guild: AMCW” soon. As part of our quest to <s>conquer</s> get to know our neighbors, we hope to look at many more guilds in upcoming issues. If you’d like to share a bit of your guild’s history, contact one of the Weekly Harvest staff.''
 
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*'''What:''' A new guild! <br>'''When:''' NOW! <br>'''Where:''' The [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/2239 new erra guild] forum. <br>'''Why:''' Stop by and welcome the new neighbors. <br><br>
+
*'''What:''' Beach party! <br>'''When:''' this weekend <br>'''Where:''' The [[Ankh-Morpork City Watch]] [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181 guild forum]. <br>'''Why:''' BBQ, volleyball, watermelon smashing, burying heroes in the sand (possibly not including their heads), and other traditional beach activities. Giant crab attacks likely but not guaranteed. <br><br>
*'''What:''' Drinking pantheons! <br>'''When:''' All the time! <br>'''Where:''' The [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1645 Skeatseria Lodge] guild forum. <br>'''Why:''' All of our hero/ines are wasteful idjits - this is the one place that will reward you for their idiocy!  
+
*'''What:''' Gambling! <br>'''When:''' All the time! <br>'''Where:''' The [[Lucky God Casino]] [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1150 guild forum]. <br>'''Why:''' Monster Wheel, White Russian Roulette, Fuzzy Dice and more!
 
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* {{god|Mapk}} whose hero earned his place as a Prophet in [[Harvest Moon]] this week! Congratulations!
+
* {{god|Klldarkness}} on the conpletion of his temple!!<br> “48 levels, 41 deaths. 344 days, 31 wins, 20 losses. 3 pets, and 54603 monsters killed. Finally...My first temple is done:  02:38 AM Dearest diary, today was the day! I carefully laid the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all windows to let your glorious light shine in. I can't believe it, your temple is finally finished, my Lord! I feel delirious with happiness.”
* Happy birthday this weekend (August 11) to {{god|Somnias Vagus}}! Hope you have an evil and wonderful day!
 
 
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! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Famous HM Heroes This Week</p>
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Famous HM Heroes This Week</p>
 
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! style="padding:2px;" | #933 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1180 g.e.
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! style="padding:2px;" | #941 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1188 g.e.
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| '''Argoet''' - 83rd-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “Champion of the Moon ☾”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/might?page=1#p_22 22nd position] in the [[pantheon of might]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|Ulvolose}}. He is deeply gratified by his place in the pantheon and is not planning to give it up any time soon.
 
|-
 
| '''Alainia''' - 71st-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “☾Blood Moon Princess ”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/savings?page=2#p_119 119th position] in the [[pantheon of savings]] under the vigilant supervision of the goddess {{god|Ceccetticat}}. The heroine has no distinctive features to date; however, she promises to get some before her next appearance.
 
|-
 
| '''Ideabox News:'''
 
* We are proud to announce that {{god|Nekomancer}} may or may not have been nominated for the Nobel Ideaboxing Prize.
 
|-
 
! style="padding:2px;" | #936 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1183 g.e.
 
|-
 
| '''Prospector''' - 74th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “Herp Derp }:->”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/destruction?page=1#p_33 33rd position] in the [[pantheon of destruction]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|Darkyyy}}. The hero has no distinctive features to date; however, he promises to get some before his next appearance.
 
|-
 
|'''Zostacular''' - 68th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “☾ Zoson of Spoltog ☾”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/survival?page=2#p_107 107th position in the [[pantheon of survival]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|Zoson}}. She's asking someone to find a pot of gold at the other end of the rainbow and report the results via telegram.
 
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! style="padding:2px;" | #937 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1184 g.e.
 
 
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|'''Merille''' - 74th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “For the heart I once had!”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/savings?page=1#p_34 34th position] in the [[pantheon of savings]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|Japs}}. She is a huge fan of Godvillewood’s pubs.
+
|'''Zostacular''' - 68th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “☾ Zoson of Spoltog ☾”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/savings?page=1#p_46 46th position] in the [[pantheon of savings]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|Zoson}}. She is deeply gratified by her place in the pantheon and is not planning to give it up any time soon.
 
|-
 
|-
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Member of the Week</p>
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Member of the Week</p>
 
|-
 
|-
| [[File:Gaplin.JPG|thumb|left|Pretty, evil... pretty evil!]]Get to know a member of [[Harvest Moon]]! This week's guest is: {{God|Gaplin}}
+
| [[File:MattX.jpg|thumb|left|What? He’s Hercules, dang it!]]Get to know a member of [[Harvest Moon]]! This week's guest is: {{God|MattX}}
 +
*  '''Q:''' How did you choose HM?
 +
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' My hero met Kyrin and she said HM was always looking for new members.}}
 
*  '''Q:''' What is your favorite salty snack?
 
*  '''Q:''' What is your favorite salty snack?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' What could possibly taste better than salted alpaca toe? So crunchy!}}
+
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' What kind of snacks are salty?}}
*  '''Q:''' What GV pet would you like to have?
 
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Any pet as long as it doesn't get knocked out every 5 seconds! Wouldn't it be great if our pets could get abilities like boss monsters do? Auriferous pet please! }}
 
 
*  '''Q:''' What song do you love to dance to?
 
*  '''Q:''' What song do you love to dance to?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Anything by my hero, the wonderful Gabrielle Aplin is a Goddess on earth <3}}
+
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Uh...the ones my hero don't like}}
*  '''Q:''' What are your hero's marketable skills?
+
*  '''Q:''' What color underwear are you wearing?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Marketable skills eyy? Well Gaplin is one hell of a singer! Wait you mean my actual hero? Well.. Er.. Umm.. She's pretty good at dying? I guess?}}
+
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Same kind my hero is: none. :/}}
 
*  '''Q:''' Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
 
*  '''Q:''' Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Yes. It's a horrible time when you've actually got to help out the little gal, almost brings a tear to one's eye pressing the button :'(}}
+
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Yes. I don't like wasting my power on my hero.}}
*  '''Q:''' Do you have any hidden talents?
+
*  '''Q:''' How do you like to spend your spare time?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Hidden talents? I didn't even realize I had any talents on show!}}
+
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' I like to spend my spare time admiring other hero's. Sorry WiCKeD_ClOWnZ}}
 +
*  '''Q:''' What is the most memorable thing your hero has done so far?
 +
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Most memorable thing my hero has done so far is died.}}
 
*  '''Q:''' If you had to eat your hero, which part of the body would you tuck into first?
 
*  '''Q:''' If you had to eat your hero, which part of the body would you tuck into first?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Eat... Gaplin??? I...i...i... I don't want to!! ''sighs'' I guess I'll start with her toes, too. Maybe they'll be just as tasty as an alpaca's.}}
+
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Brain because he doesn't know how to use it.}}
 +
*  '''Q:''' What's the most evil thing your hero has done in your temple?
 +
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' My hero's a bum. Didn't even build my temple yet.}}
 
*  '''Q:''' Of all of the equipment out there, what is your ultimate, dream “outfit” for your hero?
 
*  '''Q:''' Of all of the equipment out there, what is your ultimate, dream “outfit” for your hero?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' In all honesty I'd love to see Gaplin running around naked! I didn't create her so beautiful for no reason y'know?. But if you insist, A full set of Icarus items fitted with the infamous Icarus Wings! An Irresistible Force Field for a shield though, she needs that for the aforementioned beauty.}}
+
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Ultimate dream outfit: his colorful underwear, of course.}}
 
''What would you like to know about your [[Harvest Moon]] guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!'
 
''What would you like to know about your [[Harvest Moon]] guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!'
 
|-
 
|-
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! style="padding:2px;" | Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
 
! style="padding:2px;" | Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
 
|-
 
|-
|'''NEW:''' Buy my book today and learn the two things every god must know to get their hero to obey. "Dip Sticks Tips" by V.C. Sticks, available at all fine bookstores.
+
|'''PERSONAL:''' [http://godvillegame.com/forums/redirect_to_post/2330?post=208845 Good natured hero] seeks a heroine who shares his love of adventure and beer.  
 
|-
 
|-
|<br>'''AMAZING DEAL:''' Stock up and save today! Come by Bestie’s Equipment in Beerburgh and save lots! Limit: one item per customer.
+
|<br>'''FOR SALE:''' Snow blower. Almost new! Only used on snowy days. North Pole residents only - no shipping. Call Santa Claws for more info.
 
|-
 
|-
|<br>'''FOR SALE:''' They say you can't buy happiness... They lied. Now selling happiness by the vial. Call 555-SCAM today!
+
|<br>'''SERVICE:''' ''NEW'' Hero's Repair Agency. We rebuild bodies that last a lifetime. For more information, call 555-BDY-SHOP today!
 
|-
 
|-
|<br>'''PSA:''' Having problems with arena potency? Well... What the heck's wrong with you? I'm {{god|Issu}} and I approve this message.
+
|<br>'''FOR SALE:''' Almost new parachute - never opened, only used once, stains are barely noticeable. Find this and other great deals at “They Couldn’t Take It With Them” located just west of Bob’s Discount Funeral Home.
 
|-
 
|-
|<br>'''PERSONAL:''' Heroine with an interest in crafting seeks trustworthy friend. Visit the [http://godvillegame.com/forums/redirect_to_post/2330?post=209367 Lonely Heroes Dating Service] for more info!
+
|<br>'''WANTED:''' Hero to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
 
|-
 
|-
|<br>'''FOR SALE:''' Get the latest Girls Gone Wild: Faces of Death edition today! Buy now and receive Oingo Boingo’s single “Dead Man’s Party” absolutely free! Available at your local mortuary while supplies last.
+
|<br>'''NOW HIRING:''' Girl wanted to assist Hero-turned-magician in cutting-off-head act. Salary plus benefits. For details, call 555-86mom, please! I’m on the phone! I’ll take the trash out in a second. MOM! Wait! Do you want to help me with my new magic trick? Weekly Harvest? I’ll call you back. <br><br>
 
|-
 
|-
|<br>'''SPECIAL OFFER:''' Take a look at all the latest, greatest equipment on the market today for only 50% of cost! <sub>''Other 50% due at time of purchase. Offer only valid WAC on the third Tuesday of months containing an O. All sales final.''</sub>
+
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Doctor Frank's Advice Corner</p>
 +
|-
 +
| [[File:Drfrank.jpeg|thumbnail|left|An evil queen]]''Dear Dr. Frank, <br><br>Lately, I’ve been checking on Godville more often than before... OK, a lot more often. My friends tell me I’m addicted, but I don’t think I am. My question to you is: can you tell me where the lines are between “casual goddess”, “hard-core goddess” and “it’s time for an intervention”? <br><br>Signed, <br> She only dies when her goddess is sleeping.''
 +
 
 +
<br><br>Dearest, Insomniac <br><br> You’re fine! If your friends don’t get it, they clearly don’t understand. I mean look at {{god|SBFH}}! His hero is 16 months ''younger'' and 14 levels ''higher'' than the hero of the amazing and awesome goddess directly below him in the [[pantheon of might]] and he’s just “a casual player”. He’s a bit too goody-goodie to be a compass for all situations, but when it comes to checking on your heroine and making sure she stays on task, I say: if SBFH is a “casual god”, I’m downright lazy. A minion is a big responsibility and one you shouldn’t take lightly. You’d feed a child once or twice a day, I’m guessing, which requires prep work in the <s>lab</s> kitchen, clean up after - but it’s a labor of love, right? I’m suddenly really hungry. Anyway, in my book, you only have a problem if you can’t ignore your heroine, even on purpose, for a solid 4 hours of sleep. You have to take care of ''you'' if you’re going to be an effective goddess. <br><br>Yours, <br>~Dr. Frank
 +
 
 +
''Need advice? Send {{god|Doctor Frank-n-furter}} your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.''
 
|-
 
|-
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">'''Over the Moon'''</p>
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">'''Over the Moon'''</p>
 
|-
 
|-
|[[File:OverTheMoon.jpg|thumb|left|Games and winners and prizes! Oh, my!]]'''The Weekly Harvest Quiz'''
+
|'''This week’s quiz:'''
 
 
'''How to play:'''
 
 
 
* Each week, there will be four “questions” posted here (and only here) in the Weekly Harvest. Answers to the questions can be found in the wiki, on the HM web site, in the forums or will be math/logic-based.
 
* Your “answers” must be in question form (a-la ''Jeopardy!'').
 
* Answers must be submitted via the [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/546 Harvest Moon Forum]. ''Answers only, please! Don’t give away the questions to non-WH readers.''
 
* The first god/dess to get all four questions right will win four (4) charges ''and'' be automatically entered to play in the '''Over the Moon Championship''', held monthly on Palringo (yes, you’ll need to join Pal to play).
 
* The winner of the '''OtM Championship''' (to be based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!
 
  
'''This week’s Answers:'''
+
# Your hero is at selling at the traders, still has three more items to sell, and you activate an artifact that starts a mini-quest. This is the next thing that happens.
 +
# Your hero is at selling at the traders, still has three more items to sell, and you activate an artifact that makes your hero search for allies against an underground boss. This is the next thing that happens.
 +
# This is the maximum number of different gods that could be featured on 'Famous Heroes of Godville' and 'Ideabox News' per week.
 +
# These are three ways to get rid of tribbles.
  
# United States, Puerto Rico, Ecuador, El Salvador, Guam, Virgin Islands, Turks and Caicos Islands, Northern Mariana Islands, East Timor, and American Samoa. This is what these places have in common besides the obvious.
+
[[File:OverTheMoon.jpg|thumb|left|Games and winners and prizes! Oh, my!]]Congratulations to {{god|Rosalind Vivian}} for answering last week’s quiz! It was a toughy, but with three correct, she was the closest. She’ll be joining {{god|Godofbeer}} and {{god|Never More}} in the Over the Moon Championship round.  
# This actor who won an award in the 1997 MTV Movie Award is afraid of this type of door.
 
# This rare stone, no longer found in nature, can only be found in any substantial quantity inside of one US state's capital building.
 
# This entity has the ability to transform to anything aside from one part, open any lock, create strong winds, and can identify any evil even if it looks innocuous.
 
  
 +
Who will be our final contestant in this month’s championship? It could be you! See you in the forum!
  
Congratulations to {{god|Never More}} for answering last week’s quiz! He’ll be joining {{god|Godofbeer}} in the Championship round. Who will be next? It could be you! See you in the forum!
+
<br><sub>'''How to play:''' <br> 1. Your “answers” must be in question form (a-la ''Jeopardy!'') and submitted via the [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/546 Harvest Moon Forum]. ''Answers only, please! Don’t give away the questions to non-WH readers.'' <br> 2. The first god/dess to get all questions right (or with the most correct) will win four (4) charges ''and'' be automatically entered to play in the '''Over the Moon Championship''', held monthly on Palringo. <br> 3. The winner of the Championship (based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!
 
|-
 
|-
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Hidden Shadows Riddles</p>
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Hidden Shadows Riddles</p>
 
|-
 
|-
| [[File:HSRiddles.jpg|thumb|left|When is a door not a door?]] '''How to play:'''
+
|'''This Week’s Riddle:'''
  
# Each week, a riddle will be posted in here (and only here) in The Weekly Harvest.
+
''Mysterious and round, I shine with pale light. I've known only darkness. I'm familiar with night. Still, though grown in the dark, I make someone’s face light. ''
# To try to solve the riddle, post your answer on [[Hidden Shadows]] [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/2056 guild forum.]
 
# Do not worry about the previous posts before you. If your answer is not listed yet, post it!
 
# You are given three tries. Once you’ve guessed three times, you will be unable to guess again.
 
# If the riddle is still unanswered two days before the next riddle is posted, anyone will be allowed to guess regardless of number of previous guesses.
 
# Answer will be posted the day of the new riddle should nobody figure out the answer.
 
# Winner will get a spot in sowing Sun’s Sunday sock puppet play.
 
# Play again next week to see if you can win!
 
  
'''This Week’s Riddle:'''
+
[[File:HSRiddles.jpg|thumb|left|When is a door not a door?]] Congratulations to {{god|Godofbeer}} for answering last week’s riddle! He’s won a role in this Sunday’s Sock Puppet play at [[Sowing Sun]]!
  
''Full, I point the way, but empty and nothing moves me. I have two skins: one outside and one in. What Am I?''
+
Answer this week’s riddle and get your chance to shine! Good luck!
  
Congratulations to {{god|Artsonian}} for answering last week’s riddle! She was kept very busy playing ''all'' of the extras in [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1655?page=171#post_211734 Sunday’s Sock Puppet play] at [[Sowing Sun]]. Answer this week’s and get your chance to shine! Good luck!
+
<br><sub>'''How to play:''' <br> 1. The riddle will be posted here (and only here) in The Weekly Harvest. <br> 2. Answers should be posted on [[Hidden Shadows]] [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/2056 guild forum.] <br> 3. You have 3 guesses. Once you’ve used those 3, you will be unable to guess again. <br> 4. If the riddle goes unanswered for five days, anyone can guess regardless of number of previous guesses. <br> 5. The answer will be posted the day of the new riddle if there isn’t a winner. <br> 6. The winner will get a spot in the [[Sowing Sun]] Sunday sock puppet play!</sub>
 
|-
 
|-
 
|}
 
|}
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| <sub>By: {{god|Somnias Vagus}} and {{god|Nekomancer}}</sub>
 
| <sub>By: {{god|Somnias Vagus}} and {{god|Nekomancer}}</sub>
 
|-
 
|-
|[[File:AHCw40too.jpg|700px|center]] Missed last week’s? [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/User:Somnias_Vagus Click here!]
+
|[[File:AHCw41.jpg|700px|center]] Missed last week’s? [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/User:Somnias_Vagus Click here!]
 
|}
 
|}
 
|}
 
|}
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{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3" style="border: 3px solid #76B173; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 8px; width:100%;"
 
{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3" style="border: 3px solid #76B173; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 8px; width:100%;"
 
|-
 
|-
| style="background:#FBEACA" |''Global flood incoming.''
+
| style="background:#FBEACA" |''Beer rain. Don't expect sober heroes this week.''
 
|}
 
|}
 
----
 
----

Revision as of 18:52, 16 August 2013

MastheadSummer.JPG

This week’s featured topic: AMCW

Other useful links:

  1. The HM Website
  2. HM Merchandise
  3. Our Town Influence

Who thought of this genius Idea? • #40

Behind the Guild: Ankh-Morpork City Watch

The Watchers... Watching.

By: the AMCW writers

GodLord77  walks in, dressed in a Shakespearean style outfit, trying hard to avoid the chafing caused by the ridiculous purple tights he’s sporting. Clearing his voice, blowing on the feather in his cap to keep it off of his face and then half-choking on it, he prepares to recite.

“...In the beginning, there was GodSamuel Vimes . And, Samuel Vimes said, let there be the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, and it was good. And, GodSamuel Vimes  imparted wisdom, knowledge, aided those that were confused, in need, and the guild was peaceful.

Then, Samuel Vimes was pulled away from our guild, and things got...well, strange...”

The image of GodLord77  pulls away, unfocusing for a moment and then becoming clear again. GodSusan Sto Helit  and GodAzzageddi  sit at the Watch House’s Historical Archives (mostly known as “The place where we throw everything we don’t need, want or eat, please beware of the llamas” these days), surrounded by ancient manuscripts, dusty books and the occasional llama.

GodSusan Sto Helit  closes the tome she’s been consulting, killing a small mouse in the process, and says, The AMCW goes back several millennia, having been created in the year of the cross-eyed cow, some months ago. Our honorable founders, who are no longer around much, established it so that Godville could have some sort of order."

GodAzzageddi : “Even if we are using a rather forgiving concept of order here...”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “Indeed. After all with such a vast and diverse body of competent, zealous, -law-abiding- law-enforcing... hmm, competent officers, it is easy to sometimes step on someone’s toes (number of toes may vary, mainly because of Mith Igorina’s fine work).”

GodAzzageddi : “I still have a few extras. They’re quite useful. They make fine chopstick holders.”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “Right... too much information there... Anyway, we are not, by far, the oldest officers in the Watch but I guess we have seen the Guild through some rough times.”

GodAzzageddi : “http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1181?page=63#post_103995 The crickets}... oh, the crickets(shudders)

GodSusan Sto Helit : (smiles nostalgically) “The crickets... And the fire-breathing vampire bats. They took a liking to you.”

GodAzzageddi : "They liked me WAY too much!"

GodSusan Sto Helit : "Well, they were nothing compared to the chocolate hippos...

GodAzzageddi : “Was that really chocolate in the pool? Because I certainly never tasted any of it.”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “And just how curious are you?”

GodAzzageddi : (silence, crickets sing in the background) "...I withdraw the question."

GodSusan Sto Helit : "Well, fortunately, Leonard took care of them. Well, sort of... But there was one infestation that turned out rather well."

GodAzzageddi : “Ah, yes! The Sex-crazed Llamas!”

GodSusan Sto Helit : (facepalms) “No! I mean the baby-oh-baby buga-buga bunnies.”

GodAzzageddi : “Oh, that infestation!”

GodSusan Sto Helit : (sighs) "Well, the baby-oh-baby buga-buga bunnies did start off as one of the main ingredients in the creation of the sex-crazed llamas.”

GodAzzageddi : "That... explains a few things...”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “I guess it does. But, of course, the bunnies were not always the omnipresent, self-confident beings most people know them to be... Take Mitzi, for instance...”

GodAzzageddi : "Yes (dreamily). Well, true, she didn’t use to speak much. In fact, she used to hit me a lot... and rather hard, too.”

GodSusan Sto Helit : "Remember when she broke Lordy’s nose? Twice?”

GodAzzageddi : “Well, I was splintering into thousands of copies of myself all over the land at the time, so I didn’t catch it personally.”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “Yeah, I guess you just had to be there...”

GodAzzageddi : “Oh, I was there, all right... and there... and there... and (tossing a thumb over his shoulder) over there too!”

GodSusan Sto Helit : "And, of course, there’s always Sasha and Pasha.”

GodAzzageddi : "Didn’t they sell Lordy to some gnomes once?"

GodSusan Sto Helit : “You mean Gnome-a-geddon? The great gnome invasions? Our one and only dungeon crawl?”

GodAzzageddi : “Oh yeah! That’s how Sasha and Pasha got enough money to start their bar, actually.”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “You mean the bar we’re not supposed to have because we’re the Watch?”

GodAzzageddi : "Um, call it a neighborhood-watch meeting room...that just happens to sell hard liquor and have a piano and a chocolate fountain. And a karaoke machine that never plays what you want it to play.”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “It always seems to please our guests at parties. And we’ve had some good ones.”

GodAzzageddi : “I guess the luau was our first big one, wasn’t it?”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “Pretty much. The ones before that could just be classified as ‘spontaneous attempts to get everyone pissed drunk’.”

GodAzzageddi : “Worked for me.”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “Well, they were fun... Drinking has been one of our most effective ways of recruiting new officers into the guild...”

GodAzzageddi : “Like GodGodofbeer ! Yes, he joined us right around the time of the luau.”

GodGodofbeer  peeks in at the sound of his name associated with parties. “Did anyone mention booze?”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “Upstairs, Corporal. Upstairs.”

Godofbeer: “Oh, right.. Thanks!” (Leaves)

GodSusan Sto Helit : “O-kay... Moving on...”

GodAzzageddi : “Hey, wasn’t the luau held right after GodLord77  joined us?”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “No, that you’re thinking of the Hogswatch party. But, yes, that luau changed a lot of things for the guild.”

GodAzzageddi : “Yes... GodLord77 , then GodGodofbeer , then GodRavenvalykre ...”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “The unfortunate loss of Lordy’s drinking buddy...”

GodAzzageddi : “That was around the time I straightened up. Waking up from a blackout to discover I had somehow been put in charge of things while the Commander was away, pretty much did the trick.”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “Well, technically... GodThe Almighty Anne  should be in charge. You were just too drunk to figure that one out.”

GodAzzageddi : “Wait, what?? (checks the Guild lists) YOU’RE RIGHT! She’s senior to me! Does this mean I can stop being in charge?”

GodSusan Sto Helit : “I have no idea and I really don’t care. But I’d say yes, you’re off the hook.”

(GodThe Almighty Anne  materializes in the room, hands on her hips, tapping her foot) “Nuh-uh! No way is he off the hook! This watch is a meritocracy- it doesn’t matter how long I’ve been here! Besides, Sergeant Colon was in the watch longer than Mister Vimes, but you don’t see Colon in charge do you? See? I’m like Co... I’m not even going to finish that! You get the point. And anyway (sidling up to the spluttering GodAzzageddi ), it’s so nice seeing a nice, strong, manly demon in charge... (flutters eyelashes), the watch just wouldn’t work with little ol’ me running the show." (sighs deeply causing a disconcerting amount of movement under the bodice of her dress).

Thank you to our good friends at Ankh-Morpork City Watch for sharing their guild’s history with us! We look forward to Part 2 of “Behind the Guild: AMCW” soon. As part of our quest to conquer get to know our neighbors, we hope to look at many more guilds in upcoming issues. If you’d like to share a bit of your guild’s history, contact one of the Weekly Harvest staff.

News Briefs

  • What: Beach party!
    When: this weekend
    Where: The Ankh-Morpork City Watch guild forum.
    Why: BBQ, volleyball, watermelon smashing, burying heroes in the sand (possibly not including their heads), and other traditional beach activities. Giant crab attacks likely but not guaranteed.

  • What: Gambling!
    When: All the time!
    Where: The Lucky God Casino guild forum.
    Why: Monster Wheel, White Russian Roulette, Fuzzy Dice and more!

Special Announcements

Congratulations to:
  • GodKlldarkness  on the conpletion of his temple!!
    “48 levels, 41 deaths. 344 days, 31 wins, 20 losses. 3 pets, and 54603 monsters killed. Finally...My first temple is done: 02:38 AM Dearest diary, today was the day! I carefully laid the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all windows to let your glorious light shine in. I can't believe it, your temple is finally finished, my Lord! I feel delirious with happiness.”

Famous HM Heroes This Week

#941 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1188 g.e.
Zostacular - 68th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “☾ Zoson of Spoltog ☾”, stands at the 46th position in the pantheon of savings under the vigilant supervision of the god GodZoson . She is deeply gratified by her place in the pantheon and is not planning to give it up any time soon.

Member of the Week

What? He’s Hercules, dang it!
Get to know a member of Harvest Moon! This week's guest is: GodMattX 
  • Q: How did you choose HM?
  • A: My hero met Kyrin and she said HM was always looking for new members.
  • Q: What is your favorite salty snack?
  • A: What kind of snacks are salty?
  • Q: What song do you love to dance to?
  • A: Uh...the ones my hero don't like
  • Q: What color underwear are you wearing?
  • A: Same kind my hero is: none. :/
  • Q: Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
  • A: Yes. I don't like wasting my power on my hero.
  • Q: How do you like to spend your spare time?
  • A: I like to spend my spare time admiring other hero's. Sorry WiCKeD_ClOWnZ
  • Q: What is the most memorable thing your hero has done so far?
  • A: Most memorable thing my hero has done so far is died.
  • Q: If you had to eat your hero, which part of the body would you tuck into first?
  • A: Brain because he doesn't know how to use it.
  • Q: What's the most evil thing your hero has done in your temple?
  • A: My hero's a bum. Didn't even build my temple yet.
  • Q: Of all of the equipment out there, what is your ultimate, dream “outfit” for your hero?
  • A: Ultimate dream outfit: his colorful underwear, of course.

What would you like to know about your Harvest Moon guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!'

Classifieds

Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
PERSONAL: Good natured hero seeks a heroine who shares his love of adventure and beer.

FOR SALE: Snow blower. Almost new! Only used on snowy days. North Pole residents only - no shipping. Call Santa Claws for more info.

SERVICE: NEW Hero's Repair Agency. We rebuild bodies that last a lifetime. For more information, call 555-BDY-SHOP today!

FOR SALE: Almost new parachute - never opened, only used once, stains are barely noticeable. Find this and other great deals at “They Couldn’t Take It With Them” located just west of Bob’s Discount Funeral Home.

WANTED: Hero to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

NOW HIRING: Girl wanted to assist Hero-turned-magician in cutting-off-head act. Salary plus benefits. For details, call 555-86mom, please! I’m on the phone! I’ll take the trash out in a second. MOM! Wait! Do you want to help me with my new magic trick? Weekly Harvest? I’ll call you back.

Doctor Frank's Advice Corner

An evil queen
Dear Dr. Frank,

Lately, I’ve been checking on Godville more often than before... OK, a lot more often. My friends tell me I’m addicted, but I don’t think I am. My question to you is: can you tell me where the lines are between “casual goddess”, “hard-core goddess” and “it’s time for an intervention”?

Signed,
She only dies when her goddess is sleeping.



Dearest, Insomniac

You’re fine! If your friends don’t get it, they clearly don’t understand. I mean look at GodSBFH ! His hero is 16 months younger and 14 levels higher than the hero of the amazing and awesome goddess directly below him in the pantheon of might and he’s just “a casual player”. He’s a bit too goody-goodie to be a compass for all situations, but when it comes to checking on your heroine and making sure she stays on task, I say: if SBFH is a “casual god”, I’m downright lazy. A minion is a big responsibility and one you shouldn’t take lightly. You’d feed a child once or twice a day, I’m guessing, which requires prep work in the lab kitchen, clean up after - but it’s a labor of love, right? I’m suddenly really hungry. Anyway, in my book, you only have a problem if you can’t ignore your heroine, even on purpose, for a solid 4 hours of sleep. You have to take care of you if you’re going to be an effective goddess.

Yours,
~Dr. Frank

Need advice? Send GodDoctor Frank-n-furter  your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.

Over the Moon

This week’s quiz:
  1. Your hero is at selling at the traders, still has three more items to sell, and you activate an artifact that starts a mini-quest. This is the next thing that happens.
  2. Your hero is at selling at the traders, still has three more items to sell, and you activate an artifact that makes your hero search for allies against an underground boss. This is the next thing that happens.
  3. This is the maximum number of different gods that could be featured on 'Famous Heroes of Godville' and 'Ideabox News' per week.
  4. These are three ways to get rid of tribbles.
Games and winners and prizes! Oh, my!
Congratulations to GodRosalind Vivian  for answering last week’s quiz! It was a toughy, but with three correct, she was the closest. She’ll be joining GodGodofbeer  and GodNever More  in the Over the Moon Championship round.

Who will be our final contestant in this month’s championship? It could be you! See you in the forum!


How to play:
1. Your “answers” must be in question form (a-la Jeopardy!) and submitted via the Harvest Moon Forum. Answers only, please! Don’t give away the questions to non-WH readers.
2. The first god/dess to get all questions right (or with the most correct) will win four (4) charges and be automatically entered to play in the Over the Moon Championship, held monthly on Palringo.
3. The winner of the Championship (based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!

Hidden Shadows Riddles

This Week’s Riddle:

Mysterious and round, I shine with pale light. I've known only darkness. I'm familiar with night. Still, though grown in the dark, I make someone’s face light.

When is a door not a door?
Congratulations to GodGodofbeer  for answering last week’s riddle! He’s won a role in this Sunday’s Sock Puppet play at Sowing Sun!

Answer this week’s riddle and get your chance to shine! Good luck!


How to play:
1. The riddle will be posted here (and only here) in The Weekly Harvest.
2. Answers should be posted on Hidden Shadows guild forum.
3. You have 3 guesses. Once you’ve used those 3, you will be unable to guess again.
4. If the riddle goes unanswered for five days, anyone can guess regardless of number of previous guesses.
5. The answer will be posted the day of the new riddle if there isn’t a winner.
6. The winner will get a spot in the Sowing Sun Sunday sock puppet play!


A Hero’s Chronicle

By: GodSomnias Vagus  and GodNekomancer 
AHCw41.jpg
Missed last week’s? Click here!

Beer rain. Don't expect sober heroes this week.

Special Thanks to our staff writers: Bellatrixie the Strange, Belteshazzar, Doctor Frank-n-Furter, Elementarion, Hairplug4men, Lady Darkness, Mistress of Science and Zeerty. Content contributors: Cecceticat, Iduna, Makaze, Raindropstop and SourceRunner. Staff photographer: Bellatrixie the Strange.
Past Issues Of the Weekly Harvest