Omnipoet

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Boss-Monsters of Godville
Omnipoet
Omnipoet man with skull.jpg
Class Suffering artist
Habitat Anywhere with a generally anguished, miserable atmosphere
Description "The eponymous Omnipoet is, without a doubt, the most self-indulgent, self-important, self-published monstrosity ever to disgrace the pages of the Godville Times." — Godville Times art critic
Boss
Boss Type 2-Ability Dungeon

The Omnipoet (Poetastrum singularem) is a boss-monster found in Godville's dungeons. Fuelled by artistic frustration and dramatic overacting, the Omnipoet was once human, long ago.

Once upon a time, as an unknown, aspiring artist, the Omnipoet wrote a single masterpiece of poetry, his best piece ever. In fact, the Omnipoet was certain that this was the greatest piece of poetry, but would pretended to be too humble to say so himself. Having polished this single poem to perfection, he arranged to publish it in the Godville Times.

Well, the poem was a complete failure. The Omnipoet became the laughing stock of Godville society; parlour rooms up and down the city burst into uproarious laughter at the mention of his name. Humiliated and ashamed, the Omnipoet fled the daylight, escaping into the dungeons where he swore to write a new poem great enough to show them all, or die trying.

And even in that promise he failed. He's done neither; to this day he lurks in the dark, attacking anyone who interrupts his writing, blaming the constant interruptions for his writers' block.

As for the poem, the editors of the Godville Times were kind enough to supply a copy for historical preservation.

The Godvillemarillion

beholders eye you know, Marie 
kill it before it spreads 
I shudder, angst-ridden, gazing at your three-day-old fries 
    I sit and gaze at the ceiling overhead

a little while later it began to snow 
and they took me away as I screamed "no!no!" 
    ... she grips lovingly onto the brick that is her pillow. 
the gentle sound of the scissors: snip

but chewing them up would be twice as nice 
and foetuses swirl loudly within the glass 
    one lonely kitten forever eating the rotting mice 
begin to dance, and raise up your glass

and staring through her, he said 
in the fiery spiral of a vortex called despair, 
as eggs will be eggs it is said 
    ... love 'im to pieces, feed 'im in a high-chair

on this salty, swampy, sumptuous eve. 
    'cause kicking my cat is not nice at all 
because last time the germ got caught on his sleeve 
and then they danced in the room of ball
                        -- The Omnipoet
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