|Here is every thing you need to know about HM:|
- We are a strong, cohesive, and fun community of players who like to chat and help each other.
- We have quite a few temple owners who keep our stats high so that all our members receive a continual supply of gold and other rewards (when viewing our town influence level, remember that the Godville Times doesn't always list all towns, but this site does list our influence levels in all towns).
- We are an evil guild. Everyone is welcome to join, provided they enjoy those with an evil alignment.
- Our members include many of the oldest and most powerful gods in Godville, who are happy to be asked questions and share wisdom with their guild mates. Ask us anything; arena combat, how best to guide an evil hero, temple building, you name it!
- Please friend several of our welcomers to discover how you can get the most out of your membership. Our welcomers are , , , , , , and .
- If you wish to join our dark ranks, send a voice saying Join the "Harvest Moon" guild while your hero is outside a city until the hero decides to switch quests. Do not cancel your current quest first.
- Should your hero be foolish enough to start questing to leave us, aside from punishing the insolent whelp, we suggest that you order them repeatedly to "cancel quest". This can sometimes take over 20 tries, so persistence is the key!
- Harvest Moon uses a chat/messaging service called Palringo to communicate information as well as informally chat. To join us there, you’ll need to sign up using an email address (but others will not be able to see your email address by default). You’ll need to validate your email by clicking on a link Palringo sends to your email. Simply download Palringo, sign up and search for "harvest moon" to get started. However, if still confused don't hesitate to ask for help, in case you need it:
- Signup at http://www.palringo.com/ or by downloading the app for iOS, Android, Mac OS or Windows application for PC.
- Palringo Groups
Harvest Moon has always been, and always will be, from right before the first time man killed man, until the last man (or woman – you lot with less protruding pudendas can’t escape this stuff) kills the last man (or woman). Common lore has it that this was Cain killing his brother Abel over some sacrificial smoke scattering all over the place. As plausible because totally irrelevant the cause of this alleged first murder, a laudable act of fratricide, may have been, it wasn’t the first wilful act of bloodshed.
No, indeed, the origins of Harvest Moon lie in a far darker recess of man’s history.
Once there were apes. And they started to develop tools. And although everyone thinks they did this because of sufficient cognitive progress, they 1) had the cranial capacity of gorillas, which are basically big beefy Rastafarians, and 2) didn’t change their tool design for close to a million years, and 3) could basically barely master a thumbs-up or -down associated with arena behaviour. These apes were not even capable of voting populist favourites.
Anyways, ape begat mutant ape begat mutant ape ad infinitam, and at some point there were Kevin and Oliver, less hairy, more brainy, a tad more creative in the tool design department. Oliver and Kevin had been systematically scouring the savannah surrounding their pack’s cave shelter for edibles during a particularly arid drought. In the process they developed long-bladed stone knives, ideal for harvesting all manner of edible roots, weeds, and fungi for trial-and-error sampling.
One night, under a full moon, Kevin and Oliver took their harvesting knives, intending to go out to a promising spot, which would appear super identical to anything around it to us, but not to the paleo hunter-gatherer specialist gourmand eye. They stopped at the Crapping Hole first, which was a dell between a couple of rocks close to the shelter, where everyone basically had their paleo diet guaranteed fibrous bowel movements for their sun-down-one-thumb o’clock business, when Oliver spotted a dank patch of paleo poop sprouting interesting-looking mushrooms.
Never one to pass on some good food, he dexterously flicked the mushrooms out of what was probably his grand-/father-cum-uncle’s festering pile and shared the winnings with Kevin.
'I’m not sure if this is really edible, Ollie. Tastes like shit.'
'Sorry, couldn’t get everything off of your part.'
'I don’t feel really satisfied either.'
'Let’s go find something to get rid of this taste. I heard there were some fat rhinos passing by the other day. We could find some plump dung beetle larvae.'
Half an hour into their trek, Oliver started to notice a change in the environment. The sparse trees were starting to dance and wave at him.
'Kev. The trees are having a blast. What’s happening?'
'The trees are doing nothing of the kind, Ollie. Move on.'
Oliver felt a need to sit down and succumbed to an uncontrollable bout of giggling.
'Ollie, why are you laughing? I feel weird. That shit you gave me was weird. Everything is starting to get weird.'
'No, it’s not weird, it’s beautiful! I see stuff I’ve never seen before!'
'Ollie, I’m sure we’re being watched. I’m scared.'
'Naaaaaaah this is great! I can see beautiful stuff! I’m hungry. Do you have an apple for me? Or a turnip?'
'That rock has eyes. It’s glaring at me.'
'Kev! I just realised, we’re part of something huge and beautiful! What if, what if, what if the savannah grass was the hair on the back of a huge woman who’s as beautiful as my cousin? I need to find out if this is true! You really don't have an apple for me?'
It was then religion and philosophy were born.
'Ollie, that rock has eyes. I’m telling you. It’s freaking me out.'
'That’s not a rock! If the grass is her hair, the rocks are pimples on her back!'
'Okay, that pimple has eyes. You’re not making this better.'
'Aaawwwhhhh awesome! So that pimple is watching you! Have you done anything to wrong it?'
'I voided my bladder on it when you crashed giggling.'
'What if… what if it is angry with you for pissing on it?'
It was then that Harvest Moon and all its hundreds of deities were born.
'What, you mean it wants me to apologise?'
'Wow man, this is deep. How do you want to apologise to a pus-filled pustule? Wow, look, I found a woodlouse! A tasty snack!'
'Geez, Ollie, you’re making this scary shit not better! How can I apologise to it? I know, I’ll give it something nice!'
'You’re not giving it this woodlouse. I wish it was a cheesy log. Down the hatch you go, my friendly isopod! Ooh that tickles!'
'It wants me to give it that woodlouse? Ollie, you’re friggin’ brilliant! Hey, where did you leave it?'
'Oh you needed it?'
'Well thanks, now I’m stuck with a huge vengeful pimple ogling me! Great help you are, Ollie!'
'Oh… Sorry man. Say, I know, what if you make a little door for it with your knife? It can walk out of my gut and you can give it to your angry pimple.'
'Ollie, you’re a real bro. Thanks man. Lie still for a second, will you?'
It was then the first human sacrifice was made, and philosophy was sidetracked for another half a million years.
And the angry, restless pimple was appeased for a while. And the Pimple was so pleased Kevin made it back home without being mauled by anything greater than a fennec with a bad night.
And Kevin spread the word of the Vengeful Pimple, which coincidentally begat the name of Arab Hula Van Wag. And the word of the Great Cousin of Ollie's eventually begot a lot of weird and interesting sidetracks.
And people begat the point and started sacrificing each other and ingesting weird shit and what grew on it. And it took philosophy and common sense a long, long time to return to the scene.
And the moon reddened. And Harvest Moon grew.
These days Harvest Moon occurs once every 10 years, and heralds an era of great terror. In the olden days, the Cult of Blood would attempt to harness the Moon's dark energy by means of sacrifice. They would "harvest" the souls of their victims and offer them to the blood red moon in return for great and terrible power.
Over time, many members of the cult were hunted down and killed, and the rest fled across the ocean and inhabited the land of Godville. After many years in hiding, they had forgotten the rituals used to carry out the Harvest Moon Sacrifice. Although their methods are lost, there are still guild masters who tirelessly hunt for a way to harness the Moon's great power once more, and recruit other "heroes" to help them in their search for power...
We currently have major footholds all over this land. Those who defy our rule in our areas of influence are severely punished for their blasphemy. Our followers affix a magical, sacred seal on their doors which not only allow them to show their support, but also protect them when we purge an area of any resistance.
Our strongholds are easily recognizable. They are vast, impenetrable fortresses of darkness, perpetually surrounded by black storm clouds. The fortresses are surrounded by a lake of blood, and atop the impressive towers made of bone are great luminous red crystals - ancient storage devices through which we channel dark energy and focus our evil desires.
We fight to win.
That said, since we expect our guildmates to fight to win, many of us prefer not to match other members of Harvest Moon. That is why, in guild chat, you will often see us "announce" our intention to enter the arena. Because Godville matches you with other arena fighters based on whether you have a temple, this "announcement" will take the form of a god saying "temple owner in" or "non-temple in" or, more frequently, the abbreviations "t in" or "nt in".
Once an announcing god matches an opponent in the arena, they usually follow up by saying "matched" in guild chat to let other gods know that they can safely send their heroes. (Or, sometimes, "no match" if they time out without matching.) Since other gods sometimes forget to do this, remember that you time out after ten minutes, so if a guild member announced eleven or more minutes ago you can safely assume the arena is clear.
Bear in mind that not all guild members do this voluntary announcing; either because they fear "stalkers" (many high-ranked arena fighters are paranoid from all the blows to their head), because they are too low rank to use guild chat, or just because they don't know/care. If you match a guild member who does not announce, sometimes they will politely offer not to fight back or to do a "no influence" battle... but sometimes they won't! Either way, prepare for a fight, do your best to win, and shake hands afterwards!
Those new to the arena or even seasoned fighters are highly encouraged to read this guide by one of our most powerful members: Hairplug4men
Once your hero has completed a temple, you may want to send him/her into a dungeon. Dungeons are a tricky and exciting way to get gold, loot, experience, and gopher wood. Harvest Moon members often want to enter dungeons with their fellow guildmates in order to try to guarantee a non-AFK team and/or to coordinate driving and influences more smoothly. This intention to enter a dungeon will often be announced by posting in the guild chat, ie. "Sending to dungeon at :34". Remember to specify the time in minutes only, as Harvest Moon members are from all different time zones!
Many of our members enjoy friendly banter and roleplay on Our Forum, and find that posting adds another dimension to the Godville experience. Additionally, we believe that keeping a fun, active thread going helps with the recruitment of new members, as the Guild's Headquarters section of the forum is one of the first places people look when joining a guild. We welcome all members, regardless of length of time in the guild and/or roleplay experience, to join in the fun. You don't know if you'll like it until you try it, so come on in, the water's fine! All we ask is that you remain courteous in accordance with the Godville Forum Rules.
The Blood Council
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The Blood Council is composed of some of the most evil and respected members of Harvest Moon, who all work hard behind the scenes to ensure the Might of our guild and cultivate the inherent Evil of its members.
|Leader||Blood Moon Empress||Championed by the hero Galldemort.|
|Leader||Mouth of the Moon||Championed by the hero Beepocles.|
|Officer||Stink of the Moon||Championed by the hero Snotolf.|
|Officer||Blood Moon Sacrifice||Championed by the hero Der Tote Man.|
|Officer||Blood Moon Prowler||Championed by the hero Riff-raff.|
|Officer||Sloth of the Moon||Championed by the heroine Soxa.|
|Officer||Moon Of Insanity||Championed by the heroine St Madeleine.|
|Officer||Milkman of the Moon||Championed by the hero Heybaybay.|
|Officer||Blood Moon Blitzer||Championed by the hero Nerilo. (ON SABBATICAL)|
|Officer||Oracle of the Blood Moon||Championed by the heroine Kimagure.|
|Officer||Scholar of the Moon||Championed by the hero Muley.|
|Officer||Blood Eagle||Championed by the hero Verephos.|
|Officer||Blood Moon Defender||Championed by the hero Kozel. (ON SABBATICAL)|
|Officer||Tutor in Demonic Law||Championed by the heroine Alurenthia.|
|Officer||Keeper of the Moon||Championed by the hero John Ghostrider.|
|Officer||Blood Moon Jester||Championed by the heroine Lol Buddy.|
|Officer||Puppeteer of the Moon||Championed by the hero Muneca.|
These evil-doers managed to kiss enough hands and shake enough babies to earn the popular vote of all members ranked Cardinal or above. If they aren't on your friends list, they should be!
These "Elders," though semi-retired, are still willing to contribute to the greatness of our guild by sharing their vast stories of experience and knowledge with the rest of us, while taking a well-deserved rest from active duties.
|Blood Moon Sentinel||Championed by the hero Samuel Vimes.|
|Emissary of the Blood Moon||Championed by the hero Arnost.|
|Fictionary of the Moon||Championed by the hero Aricatus.|
|Blood Moon Gastronomer||Championed by the hero Tastyhotdog.|
|Blood Moon Mystic||Championed by the heroine Fallon Skye.|
|Master of War||Championed by the hero Jaaden.|
|(Advisor)||First of the Six||Translator of the Heavens.|
Our "Distinguished Members" are those who stand out above the crowd with their determination, perseverance and strength as they travel the path to Evil Infamy.
|Confuzzler of the Moon||Championed by the heroine Simply Confused.|
|Crusader of the Moon||Championed by the hero SouthernCharmz.|
|Blood Moon Marauder||Championed by the hero Masselin.|
|Daydreamer of the Moon||Championed by the hero Liir.|
|Fairy of the Moon||Championed by the hero Zaln.|
|Puppeteer of the Moon||Championed by the heroine Muneca.|
Legends of the Blood Moon
These "Legends" have all been with the guild since the Harvest Moon first formed in Godville. Every one of them held a major role in the forming of this guild, but have decided to take a step down from leadership. However their dedication, loyalty, and contributions have earned them a spot in our hearts, minds, and the retirement home.
|Founder of the Harvest Moon||Championed by the hero Swayvil.|
|Dark Sage of the Moon||Championed by the hero Fell Dragon.|
|Lady of the Blood Moon||Championed by the hero Hammr.|
|Head Necromancer||Championed by the heroine Delenn.|
|Blood Maniac||Championed by the heroine Black Mask.|
|Master of War||Championed by the hero Oski.|
|Handmaiden of the Moon||Championed by the heroine Pingping.|
|Speaker of the Moon||Championed by the hero Quadfather.|
|Shadow of the Moon||Championed by the hero Evienne.|
|Co-Founder of the Harvest Moon||Championed by the hero Argoet.|
|Executioner of the Moon||Championed by the heroine Ashura.|
Our guild is proud to be home to the best and evilest members in all of Godville. Our members can be viewed at the Harvest Moon Stats Page.
Our members are encouraged to recruit new, evil aligned gods and heroes into the guild. However, experience has proven that a degree of restraint must be practiced in order to preserve a sense of honor and goodwill between the many guilds of Godville. Therefore, we now ask that our members do not make deliberate attempts to recruit members from another active guild. As a general guideline, a guild which has posted on their own thread within the last 2 weeks should be considered active. We ask that other guilds contact an officer or Blood Council member if they feel like this policy has been violated.
"The Weekly Harvest"
Check out the current issue - they come out on Wednesdays, mostly. Sometimes Thursdays... Whichever feels most evil at the time. Expand the list below to see past issues.
|Special Thanks to our staff writers: Bellatrixie the Strange, Belteshazzar, Doctor Frank-n-Furter, Elementarion, Hairplug4men, Lady Darkness, Mistress of Science and Zeerty. Content contributors: Cecceticat, Iduna, Makaze, Miss SixthSatan, Raindropstop and SourceRunner. Staff photographer: Bellatrixie the Strange.|
|Issue #1||Vote For Your Favorite|
|Issue #2||The Benefits Of An Evil Alignment!|
|Issue #3||Voice Commands and When to Use Them|
|Issue #4||What is the point of Achievements|
|Issue #5||Arena or Skirmish: Which Do You Choose?|
|Issue #6||Guild Promotions|
|Issue #9||Pets (part 1)|
|Issue #10||Pets (part 2)|
|Issue #11||Pets (part 3)|
|Issue #12||Golden Bricks|
|Issue #13||The Temple|
|Issue #15||Voice Commands|
|Issue #16||Digging Up Monsters|
|Issue #17||Forum Events and Etiquette|
|Issue #18||Non-Payer’s Guide to Digging|
|Issue #19||Beginner’s Guide to GodWiki|
|Issue #20||History of Godville 101|
|Issue #21||Arena Tournament: HM vs KWSN|
|Issue #24||What Heroes Do In Town|
|Issue #25||Limerick Contest|
|Issue #26||The Arena: Know Your Opponent|
|Issue #27||How Well Do You Know Hp4m?|
|Issue #28||Godville Lingo and Abbreviations|
|Issue #29||Guild Promotions|
|Issue #30||Forum Events and Guild Happenings|
|Issue #31||The Arena: Good vs Evil|
|Issue #32||GV Generations – The 1st|
|Issue #33||GV Generations - The 2nd|
|Issue #34||GV Generations – The 3rd|
|Issue #35||GV Generations – The 4th|
|Issue #36||GV Generations – The 5th|
|Issue #37||Ideabox Resources|
|Issue #38||Godville Explained|
|Issue #39||New Boss Abilities|
|Issue #40||Tribble Troubles|
|Issue #41||Behind the Guild: Ankh-Morpork City Watch|
|Issue #42||Which Weekly Harvest Staffer Are You?|
|Issue #43||How to Solve the GV Times Crossword|
|Issue #44||Behind the Guild: Ankh-Morpork City Watch, cont'd.|
|Issue #45||The Godville Tournament of Champions: a Brief History|
|Issue #46||HP’s Guide to Proper Scare Tactics in the Arena|
|Current Issue||New Boss Abilities|