Fat Cat

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Last edit: -13 days ago by SourceRunner — History

Monsters of Godville
Fat Cat
Catus fatus
Class feline
Habitat On your lap.
Description Slighty-overweight good kitty. [1]

The Fat Cat (Catus fatus) isn't really a monster. Just a cat. That is fat. Honestly, why heroes and heroines cannot overcome them...


Ancient Egoptian papyrus showing a time when Fat Cats weren't totally unhelpfull yet.
Fat Cat in company of his faithful minion, Napoleon Bonaparte.[2]
This fearsome weight is not a coincidence.[3]
Fully evolved Fat Cat.

The history of Catus fatus reaches the most ancient times. They accompanied humanity as long as there were mice in granaries and sweet cream to steal. They were often seen in company of kings, emperors, and even Gods.

In Early Egoptian times, when the cats weren't known as "fat," yet, the people of Great River started to worship them and shower them with adoration, luxuries, and tasty treats. From snack to snack, and Fat Cats came to be as we now know them.

In Ancient Grease, they were often invited to wild orgies, where they served as puffy pillows for unconscious[4] drunkards. There is a rumour that the most favoured tiger skin cushion of Dionysus [5] was in fact a very much alive, but lazy Fat Cat.

In later ages, after the falls of empires, Fat Cats tried to find suitable company to grace with their presence and were unsuprisingly glad for hedonism, decadency, and dandyism.

Fat Cat vs. heroes

How to recognize this Monster:

Massive gargantuan purring machine of smashing destructions. It doesn't know it's own strenght. Or weight. Fat Cat has a habit of sitting on hero lap to be pet and accidentally crushing them to death.

Tips for battling this Monster:

Good tactic to defeat this monster is to lure it near steep slope and give it a little nudge.

Other distinguishing Features:

Comes in all colors and one shape. Round.



  • their luxurious soft fur can distract even the most hardened hero
  • very resilient
  • cannot be moved
  • too selfish to care


  • catnip pie
  • that last piece of pizza
  • actually any pie
  • skratches behind ears
  • a bundle of yarn. ROLLING.


  1. ↑ as seen in renaissance painting "Fat Cat with a Mirror" by Titian
  2. ↑ Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres, "Napoleon I as the Imperial Throne for the Cat."
  3. ↑ Frans Hals, "Merrymakers at Shrovetide."
  4. ↑ And unconscientious.
  5. ↑ Well-known to any hero as god of uncontrolled partying.
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