Fat Cat

From GodWiki
Revision as of 23:35, 7 February 2019 by SourceRunner (talk | contribs) (Saving edit progress.)
Jump to: navigation, search
Stub sign.png

JanuWiki: Under Review 🍺

This fresh brew by NobodyIsPerfectButMe (U β€’ C β€’ T)  is being reviewed by a volunteer editor. Edits are visible in the page history, and feedback to be addressed will be on the talk page (you can tell the author how great it is there, too).

Last edit: 50 days ago by SourceRunner — History


Monsters of Godville
Fat Cat
Catus fatus
mirror.jpg
Class feline
Habitat On your lap.
Description Slighty-overweight good kitty. [1]


The Fat Cat (Catus fatus) isn't really a monster. Just a cat. That is fat. Honestly, why heroes and heroines cannot overcome them...

History

Ancient Egoptian papyrus showing a time when Fat Cats weren't totally unhelpfull yet.
Fat Cat in company of his faithful minion, Napoleon Bonaparte.[2]
This fearsome weight is not a coincidence.[3]
Fully evolved Fat Cat.

The history of Catus fatus reaches the most ancient times. They accompanied humanity as long as there were mice in granaries and sweet cream to steal. They were often seen in company of kings, emperors, and even Gods.

In Early Egoptian times, when the cats weren't known as "fat," yet, the people of Great River started to worship them and shower them with adoration, luxuries, and tasty treats. From snack to snack, and Fat Cats came to be as we now know them.

In Ancient Grease, they were often invited to wild orgies, where they served as puffy pillows for unconscious[4] drunkards. There is a rumour that the most favoured tiger skin cushion of Dionysus [5] was in fact a very much alive, but lazy Fat Cat.

In later ages, after the falls of empires, Fat Cats tried to find suitable company to grace with their presence and were unsuprisingly glad for hedonism, decadency, and dandyism.


Fat Cat vs. heroes

How to recognize this Monster:

Massive gargantuan purring machine of smashing destructions. It doesn't know it's own strenght. Or weight. Fat Cat has a habit of sitting on hero lap to be pet and accidentally crushing them to death.

Tips for battling this Monster:

Good tactic to defeat this monster is to lure it near steep slope and give it a little nudge.

Other distinguishing Features:

Comes in all colors and one shape. Round.


Attributes

Strengths

  • their luxurious soft fur can distract even the most hardened hero
  • very resilient
  • cannot be moved
  • too selfish to care

Weaknesses

  • catnip pie
  • that last piece of pizza
  • actually any pie
  • skratches behind ears
  • a bundle of yarn. ROLLING.



References

  1. ↑ as seen in renaissance painting "Fat Cat with a Mirror" by Titian
  2. ↑ Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres, "Napoleon I as the Imperial Throne for the Cat."
  3. ↑ Frans Hals, "Merrymakers at Shrovetide."
  4. ↑ And unconscientious.
  5. ↑ Well-known to any hero as god of uncontrolled partying.
JanuWiki 2019
Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist πŸ» Barbeerian πŸ» Beer Cub πŸ» Beer Golem πŸ» Beer Mugger πŸ» Beerburglar πŸ» Beerkat πŸ» Beerserker πŸ» Beerwolf πŸ» Boartender πŸ» Brewpid the Reindeer πŸ» Diet Sprite πŸ» Drinkerella πŸ» Extra Dry Djinn πŸ» Methylated Spiritualist πŸ» Red Bull πŸ» Tea Rex πŸ» Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat πŸ± Bureau-cat πŸ± Fat Cat πŸ± Meowntain Cat πŸ± Neferkitty πŸ± Photocopycat πŸ± Punk Panther πŸ± Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum
Oh My! Adminotaur πŸ‹οΈ Boozerker πŸ‹οΈ Godbuster πŸ‹οΈ Thug-of-war πŸ‹οΈ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab πŸ» Beer-battered beer πŸ» Beer-scented soap πŸ» Bottle of beer from a wall πŸ» Bottle of domesticated beer πŸ» Bottle of holy ale πŸ» Can of ambrosia πŸ» Exclamation pint πŸ» β€œFree beer” ticket πŸ» Instant beer tablet πŸ» Pint of no return πŸ» Strange brew πŸ» Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork πŸ» Awkward paws πŸ» Bear arms πŸ» Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup πŸ» Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly πŸ» Lion belch
Taverns All Inn πŸ» The Battle Toad πŸ» Caravanserai πŸ» Progress Bar πŸ» The Rumor Mill πŸ» The Sword & Sandal πŸ» The Whinery