Fat Cat

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Last edit: 53 days ago by NobodyIsPerfectButMe — History


Monsters of Godville
Fat Cat
Catus Fatus
mirror.jpg
Class feline
Habitat on your lap
Description slighty overweight good kitty [1]


The Fat Cat (Catus Fatus) isn't really a monster. Just a cat. That is fat. Honestly, why heroes and heroines cannot overcome them...



Fat Cat vs. heroes

  • How to recognize this monster

Massive gargantuan purring machine of smashing destructions. It doesn't know it's own strenght. Or weight. Fat Cat has a habit of sitting on hero lap to be pet and accidentally crushing them to death.

  • Tips for battling this monster

Good tactic to defeat this monster is to lure it near steep slope and give it a little nudge.

  • Other distinguishing features

Comes in all colors and one shape. Round.

History

Ancient Egyptian papyrus showing time, when Fat Cat weren't totally unhelpfull yet.
Fat Cat in company of his faithful minion Napoleon Bonaparte [2]
This fearsome weight is not a coincidence
Fully evolved Fat Cat

History of Catus Fatus reaches the most ancient times. They accompanied humanity as long as there were mices in granaries and sweet cream to steal. They were often seen in company of kings, emperors, even Gods.

In Early Egypth times, when there weren't known as fat yet, the people of Great River started to worship them and shower them with adoration, luxuries and tasty treats. From snack to snack, and Catus Fatus came to be as we now know them.

In ancient Greece they were often invited to wild orgies where they served as puffy pillows for unconciencious drunkards. There is rumour that the most favoured tiger skin cushion of Dionysus [3] was in fact a very much alive but lazy Fat Cat.

In later ages, after falls of empires, Fat Cats tried to find suitable company to grace with their presence and were unsuprisingly glad for hedonism, decadency and dandyism.

Attributes

Strengths

  • their luxurious soft fur can distract even the most hardened hero
  • very resilient
  • cannot be moved
  • too selfish to care

Weaknesses

  • catnip pie
  • that last piece of pizza
  • actually any pie
  • skratches behind ears
  • a bundle of yarn. ROLLING.

References

  1. ↑ as seen in renaissance painting "Fat Cat with a Mirror" by Titian
  2. ↑ Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres, "Napoleon I as the Imperial Throne for the Cat"
  3. ↑ well known to any hero as god of uncontrolled partying
JanuWiki 2019
Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist πŸ» Barbeerian πŸ» Beer Cub πŸ» Beer Golem πŸ» Beer Mugger πŸ» Beerburglar πŸ» Beerkat πŸ» Beerserker πŸ» Beerwolf πŸ» Boartender πŸ» Brewpid the Reindeer πŸ» Diet Sprite πŸ» Drinkerella πŸ» Extra Dry Djinn πŸ» Methylated Spiritualist πŸ» Red Bull πŸ» Tea Rex πŸ» Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat πŸ± Bureau-cat πŸ± Fat Cat πŸ± Meowntain Cat πŸ± Neferkitty πŸ± Photocopycat πŸ± Punk Panther πŸ± Weakest Lynx
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Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab πŸ» Beer-battered beer πŸ» Beer-scented soap πŸ» Bottle of beer from a wall πŸ» Bottle of domesticated beer πŸ» Bottle of holy ale πŸ» Can of ambrosia πŸ» Exclamation pint πŸ» β€œFree beer” ticket πŸ» Instant beer tablet πŸ» Pint of no return πŸ» Strange brew πŸ» Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork πŸ» Awkward paws πŸ» Bear arms πŸ» Beer goggles
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Skills Beer belly πŸ» Lion belch
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