Difference between revisions of "Fat Cat"

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* cannot be moved
 
* cannot be moved
 
* too selfish to care
 
* too selfish to care
* kawaii level over 9000
 
  
 
=== Weaknesses ===
 
=== Weaknesses ===

Revision as of 21:32, 30 January 2019


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This fresh brew by NobodyIsPerfectButMe (U • C • T)  is being reviewed by a volunteer editor. Edits are visible in the page history, and feedback to be addressed will be on the talk page (you can tell the author how great it is there, too).

Last edit: 53 days ago by NobodyIsPerfectButMe — History


Monsters of Godville
Fat Cat
Catus Fatus
mirror.jpg
Class feline
Habitat on your lap
Description slighty overweight good kitty [1]


The Fat Cat (Catus Fatus) isn't really a monster. Just a cat. That is fat. Honestly, why heroes and heroines cannot overcome them...



Fat Cat vs. heroes

  • How to recognize this monster

Massive gargantuan purring machine of smashing destructions. It doesn't know it's own strenght. Or weight. Fat Cat has a habit of sitting on hero lap to be pet and accidentally crushing them to death.

  • Tips for battling this monster

Good tactic to defeat this monster is to lure it near steep slope and give it a little nudge.

  • Other distinguishing features

Comes in all colors and one shape. Round.

History

Ancient Egyptian papyrus showing time, when Fat Cat weren't totally unhelpfull yet.
Fat Cat in company of his faithful minion Napoleon Bonaparte [2]
This fearsome weight is not a coincidence
Fully evolved Fat Cat

History of Catus Fatus reaches the most ancient times. They accompanied humanity as long as there were mices in granaries and sweet cream to steal. They were often seen in company of kings, emperors, even Gods.

In Early Egypth times, when there weren't known as fat yet, the people of Great River started to worship them and shower them with adoration, luxuries and tasty treats. From snack to snack, and Catus Fatus came to be as we now know them.

In ancient Greece they were often invited to wild orgies where they served as puffy pillows for unconciencious drunkards. There is rumour that the most favoured tiger skin cushion of Dionysus [3] was in fact a very much alive but lazy Fat Cat.

In later ages, after falls of empires, Fat Cats tried to find suitable company to grace with their presence and were unsuprisingly glad for hedonism, decadency and dandyism.

Attributes

Strengths

  • their luxurious soft fur can distract even the most hardened hero
  • very resilient
  • cannot be moved
  • too selfish to care

Weaknesses

  • catnip pie
  • that last piece of pizza
  • actually any pie
  • skratches behind ears
  • a bundle of yarn. ROLLING.

References

  1. as seen in renaissance painting "Fat Cat with a Mirror" by Titian
  2. Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres, "Napoleon I as the Imperial Throne for the Cat"
  3. well known to any hero as god of uncontrolled partying
JanuWiki 2019
Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist 🍻 Barbeerian 🍻 Beer Cub 🍻 Beer Golem 🍻 Beer Mugger 🍻 Beerburglar 🍻 Beerkat 🍻 Beerserker 🍻 Beerwolf 🍻 Boartender 🍻 Brewpid the Reindeer 🍻 Diet Sprite 🍻 Drinkerella 🍻 Extra Dry Djinn 🍻 Methylated Spiritualist 🍻 Red Bull 🍻 Tea Rex 🍻 Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat 🐱 Bureau-cat 🐱 Fat Cat 🐱 Meowntain Cat 🐱 Neferkitty 🐱 Photocopycat 🐱 Punk Panther 🐱 Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum
Oh My! Adminotaur 🏋️ Boozerker 🏋️ Godbuster 🏋️ Thug-of-war 🏋️ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab 🍻 Beer-battered beer 🍻 Beer-scented soap 🍻 Bottle of beer from a wall 🍻 Bottle of domesticated beer 🍻 Bottle of holy ale 🍻 Can of ambrosia 🍻 Exclamation pint 🍻 “Free beer” ticket 🍻 Instant beer tablet 🍻 Pint of no return 🍻 Strange brew 🍻 Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork 🍻 Awkward paws 🍻 Bear arms 🍻 Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup 🍻 Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly 🍻 Lion belch
Taverns All Inn 🍻 The Battle Toad 🍻 Caravanserai 🍻 Progress Bar 🍻 The Rumor Mill 🍻 The Sword & Sandal 🍻 The Whinery