Dimensional destabilizer

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Artifacts of Godville
Dimensional destabilizer
Dimensionaldestab.jpg
Type ⚙️Activatable
Description "What could go wrong?"
Activation
Cost 50% of godpower
Effect Affect in a good or a bad way (Black boxes)

The Dimensional destabilizer is a "Black Box" activatable artifact.

Recipe

We all know the recipe to make one at home off by heart, don't we?! You forgot it again? Okay — here goes:

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose time
1 TBSP space
1 -1/2 tsp superstring
½ cup cold quantum gravity, cut into small pieces
1 cup of parallel universe

Instructions

Heat oven to 400F.

In a large bowl, whisk together time, superstring, parallel universe, and any other dry ingredients you want to add (such as spices, herbs, sugar, or zest).
Add the pieces of quantum gravity and mix into other ingredients with a manifold until the consistency of vector space.
Add the parallel universe and stir just until combined. Do not over-mix. The batter will be quite lumpy.
Drop large mounds onto ungreased baking sheets, careful not to overcrowd.
Bake at 400F for 16-20 minutes, or until embedded in space.
Brush with melted butter if desired.
Let cool until infinity, then serve.

Example of use

« This item can affect your hero in a good or bad way (requires 50% of godpower to activate this item) »
!Hero's Diary
07:22 Felt a burning desire to open the Dimensional destabilizer. Found inside something unbelievable — a scroll with instructions on how to get a premature level up!

Effects

There are many possible outcomes of activating a Dimensional destabilizer[BB 1].

  • Positive outcomes include finding the following inside:
    • Gold coins (around 100-9926, though more than 9926 gold coins have been discovered)
    • Golden bricks (usually one, but up to three have been discovered)
    • A notarized document stating that the hero has died fewer times than thought, which reduces a hero’s death count by one or two, and increases your position in the pantheon of survival
    • A scroll with instructions for a premature level up, which immediately increases the level of the hero by one
    • Nothing, but a hero gains experience points (around 3000) in the process
    • Tribbles, which are released into the hero's inventory
  • Negative outcomes include:
    • Finding a notarized death certificate inside, which increases a hero's death count by one, and reduces your position in the pantheon of survival
    • Finding a note inside stating that some of the hero's experience points were achieved by dishonest means, which reduces the hero's experience points
    • Releasing a spiteful gremlin from inside the item that will steal about half of the hero's gold coins
    • Nothing happening. If your hero has not completed their temple, the annoyed hero tries to break the Dimensional destabilizer with a golden brick resulting in the loss of the item and the golden brick. If the temple is complete, nothing happens but the loss of the artifact and expenditure of godpower.

Overall, positive effects are much more likely than negative effects.

Notes

"Black Box" Activatable Artifacts
Box with a question mark • Continuum transfunctioner • Davy Jones’ locker • Deus ex machina • Dimensional destabilizer • Improbability drive • Mystery box • Pandora's box • Wonderbox