Diet Sprite

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Monsters of Godville
Diet Sprite
'faunus victu'
Three_skinny_fairies.jpg
Class faerie
Habitat low-carb and fat-free woodlands
Description waif-thin citizens of the faerie world

The Diet Sprite (faunus victu) is a monster of Godville, related genetically to many of the other fairies, sprites, and pixies also found there. The Diet Sprite is distinguishable from other similar monsters by its extremely thin appearance and total avoidance of fattening foods. Diet Sprites are simultaneously looked upon with admiration for their slim figures and deep jealousy (also for their slim figures).

Origins

A few decades ago, it had become fashionable amongst those who try to be fashionable to be very, very thin. Referred to both as the "waif look" and "heroin chic", it had suddenly become the epitome of physical attractiveness to be as skinny as possible. Heroines, traders, bartenders, and even monsters were going to great lengths to try to achieve this extreme beauty standard. Two itinerant enchantresses[1], recently arrived in Godville, understood that they could use their magic to help paying customers achieve the desired physique. Practicing their dark arts deep in the woods at night, they invoked and conjured and thaumaterged in an attempt to prefect the process. As a result of their magicking, a rift opened in the milestone-diary entry continuum, and through it poured dozens of very thin, fairy-looking creatures. These were the original Diet Sprites.

Some psychopaths squeeze an effervescent liquid from the bodies of still-living diet sprites, then consume it as a refreshing beverage. Due to their small size, over 9,000 diet sprites were needed to fill this can.

Behavior

As their slim frames would suggest, Diet sprites inhabit the low-carb and fat-free woodlands between the towns of Godville. While not going so far as to engage in an exercise regimen, they spend their time sipping on lo-cal water, chainsmoking, and cattily dissing each other's rumored weight gain. They try to avoid open fields and meadows, since even a weak breeze blowing across those types of spaces will carry the lightweight diet sprite off in a hurry. Diet sprites can wear the latest and trendiest fashions in fairy-wear, and never miss an opportunity to complain that their size 0 clothes are "just too big".

Diet sprites have a particular dislike for heroines due to the strong aroma of high-carb, grain-based beverages that is always on their breath.[2] This rage fuels their attacks against adventurers, allowing them two attacks each turn; however, due to their scrawny, pathetic muscles, diet sprites only do half damage.

The treasure or trophy possessed by a diet sprite will be stashed away in a nearby hollow tree or similar hidey-hole. The weight of these items is too much for them to carry while trying to battle with heroines.[3]

Attributes

Strengths

  • Look great in skinny jeans
  • Immune to hunger
  • Two attacks per turn vs. adventurers

Weaknesses

  • Weakness (due to lack of nutrition)
  • Half damage
  • Will blow away in a strong breeze
  1. ↑ Rumored to be Mossy Kate and the Knight of Keiraly
  2. ↑ ...and, let's be honest, their clothes as well.
  3. ↑ Plus, they don't like carrying bulky things in their pants pockets.
JanuWiki 2019
Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist πŸ» Barbeerian πŸ» Beer Cub πŸ» Beer Golem πŸ» Beer Mugger πŸ» Beerburglar πŸ» Beerkat πŸ» Beerserker πŸ» Beerwolf πŸ» Boartender πŸ» Brewpid the Reindeer πŸ» Diet Sprite πŸ» Drinkerella πŸ» Extra Dry Djinn πŸ» Methylated Spiritualist πŸ» Red Bull πŸ» Tea Rex πŸ» Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat πŸ± Bureau-cat πŸ± Fat Cat πŸ± Meowntain Cat πŸ± Neferkitty πŸ± Photocopycat πŸ± Punk Panther πŸ± Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum
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Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab πŸ» Beer-battered beer πŸ» Beer-scented soap πŸ» Bottle of beer from a wall πŸ» Bottle of domesticated beer πŸ» Bottle of holy ale πŸ» Can of ambrosia πŸ» Exclamation pint πŸ» β€œFree beer” ticket πŸ» Instant beer tablet πŸ» Pint of no return πŸ» Strange brew πŸ» Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork πŸ» Awkward paws πŸ» Bear arms πŸ» Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup πŸ» Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly πŸ» Lion belch
Taverns All Inn πŸ» The Battle Toad πŸ» Caravanserai πŸ» Progress Bar πŸ» The Rumor Mill πŸ» The Sword & Sandal πŸ» The Whinery