Cutting Remarksman

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Monsters of Godville
Cutting Remarksman
Salax Tirator
Marksman.jpg
"Wait for it..."
Class Humanoid
Habitat The highest ground.
Description A mean, lean, killing machine.

The Cutting Remarksman (Salax Tirator) is a monster that have both the most cunning of tongues and the sharpest of shots.

That mean gentleman

This monster is a rogue sharpshooter. Hated for his sharp and hurtful comments, well-aimed and ill-meant remarks that will tear down a hero/ine's sense of pride.

After some snarky comments, your paladin will already be begging for the arrow. This villain is not only hated for their offensive attitude but also for several charges of magnicide, homicide and petcide. Crimes that can give the reader a measure of this monster's evilness.


He will often take down a random target so a hero/ine will notice them. This is a flawless tactic because: good heroes will rush to avenge the dead bystander, evil heroes will get angry because they had their kill stolen, and neutral heroes won't like to be impolite to the monster.

The following fight will be a tense battle of wits playing on the background of a radical version of hide and seek. Deities should watch it if they have the chance, it is a really entertaining amusement.

It takes two...

This will be, essentially, a battle of wits. Cunning Remarksmans won't hold back because your hero/ine is unarmed, that's why some training is highly recommendable.

This five simple topics will give some solid ground from which you can mount your attack.

  • Thrashing his style: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A hero/ine's eyes can do much harm to this snipers if their tongues can follow the sight. Most comments about their dressing or hairstyle can be weaponized by comparing it to some grotesque, ridiculous or disgusting image. Ex: (to an enemy sporting a mohawk) "Well sir, i did not knew that brooms could crouch that well"
  • Mocking their aim: their aim should be flawless, so this ability can be an open gate into the enemy's feelings. Joking about a Remarksman's ability to shoot can bring down their pride. Combined with other hurtful afirmations, any sniper will be taking swig after swig of their own medicine. Ex: (after being shot in the arm) "Oh my! I understand that my head was moving too fast for your capacity"
  • Downplaying all threats: how good is a menace if you can't deliver on it? Worthless, of course! Another way to bring a Cutting Remarksman to his knees is to ignore and make jokes about any threat uttered. Time well your provocations and he will be biting his bow in no time. Ex: ("i will nail you to a tree" says the enemy) "First you should be able to shoot the tree"
  • Patronizing: for someone so used to be on top of things, being treated as the bottom of the joke is infuriating. Make him furious then! Talk to your foe as you would to a puppy or a toddler, see which annoys him the most if you want. Calling him cute names is heavily encouraged. Ex: (after he climbed down a tree) "Well done my little funky monkey"
  • Your mother... It may not be the fanciest trick in a hero/ine's pocket, but it really works. Feel free to go wild on this subject. It's never too far nor too offensive, better be safe than sorry. Ex: (no context needed) "Your mother is so heavy, that not even my god/ess could lift her"