From GodWiki
Revision as of 05:53, 8 October 2017 by Brihtnoth (talk | contribs) (Fixed incomplete sentence)
Jump to: navigation, search

The guild name CP9, contrary to internet dwellers' belief systems, has absolutely no bearing on the obscure anime entertainment 'cipher pol number 9' (which ought to have been abbreviated CPN9). Instead, the guild name is taken from a strain of toxins, applied intraurethrally ('in the urine duct of') mice, among others, in order to study urinary tract infections with E-coli.

Well, now that's out, it explains quite a lot about the guild and its denizens, and their function in Godville.

DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING SECTION CONTAINS A CONCEIT, WHICH IS A LITERARY/STYLISTIC DEVICE EXPANDING A METAPHOR OR SIMILE, AND WHICH IS NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY: Indeed, the guild was founded by Yonko Kaido or one of his many alts. Yonko (let's call him that) suffers from being serially reported to the Godville mods and having his accounts blocked, yet he does not seem able to stop creating more and more alts. Yonko can't help himself, and just follows his nature. He is like a malignant and very aggressive tumour to Godville: every time you cut out a bit, it metastasizes elsewhere in the body. This is how the symptoms of a disease manifest themselves: Every one of his alts befriends people and behaves all nice and friendly and soon starts whining about how they'd love to see how dungeoneering and/or sailing work, and its going to take them soooo long before they've finished temple or ark. The question that soon follows is 'could you let me play with your main/one of your alts?' and BAM you'll have lost an account to this horrible disease of the game. DISCLAIMER: THIS DOES NOT INDICATE THAT THE AUTHOR IS LITERALLY CALLING YONKO OR HIS ALTS A CANCER TO GODVILLE! PLEASE KNOW YOUR RHETORICAL STYLES BEFORE YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET UPSET!

So anyway, this guild is stuffed to the brim with alts of said Yonko, who stand to be shut down by the people moderating the overall playability and enjoyability of this game. If, at any point, you find yourself being begged to hand over the password to your account, don't. It'll soon be blocked anyway.

When you've got E-coli in your urinary tract, drink a lot of water, cranberry juice, and don't give your password to anyone. If you don't follow these pointers, the infection might turn into something quite worse.