Bottle of domesticated beer

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Last edit: 324 days ago by Beausoleil — History

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Artifacts of Godville
Bottle of domesticated beer
Artifact-warehouse.jpg
Type 🧷Normal
Value 14537 lira, or approximately 52 gold coins
Description a glass bottle full of liquid refreshment

In days of yore, when the world was young and times were simpler, herd of wild beer thundered across the Low Gravity Plains. With no natural predators at this point, the wild beer population grew larger and larger [1]. It was not until the First Heroes and Heroines emerged onto the scene that this blissful state became threatened. At first, these were beer hunting and gathering tribes of adventurers. After several centuries, even some of the less-dim heroes and heroines started to wonder if there was an easier way to have a ready supply of beer on hand, without need of either hunting nor gathering. It was further postulated that, much as some monsters had been captured and trained as pets, perhaps the wild, free-roaming beer could be rounded up, broken, and taught to become dependent on the heroes and heroines. Surprisingly [2], this did have some limited success. And, thus, the first beer was domesticated. Quickly, though, it was realized that the normal methods of fencing, pens, and barbed wire did not prevent the domesticated beer from sometimes escaping (often into the stomachs of other heroes and heroines). First attempts at placing the domesticated beer into cardboard boxes, envelopes, and cupped hands proved to be woefully ineffective. It was only after these many setbacks that the glass bottle was first tried. This met with fairly limited success until the invention of the bottle cap by famous inventor Sir Bartholomew Bottlecap. With the new caps securely affixed to the tops of the glass bottles, the bottle of domesticated beer was officially born.

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JanuWiki 2019
Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist πŸ» Barbeerian πŸ» Beer Cub πŸ» Beer Golem πŸ» Beer Mugger πŸ» Beerburglar πŸ» Beerkat πŸ» Beerserker πŸ» Beerwolf πŸ» Boartender πŸ» Brewpid the Reindeer πŸ» Diet Sprite πŸ» Drinkerella πŸ» Extra Dry Djinn πŸ» Methylated Spiritualist πŸ» Red Bull πŸ» Tea Rex πŸ» Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat πŸ± Bureau-cat πŸ± Fat Cat πŸ± Meowntain Cat πŸ± Neferkitty πŸ± Photocopycat πŸ± Punk Panther πŸ± Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum
Oh My! Adminotaur πŸ‹οΈ Boozerker πŸ‹οΈ Godbuster πŸ‹οΈ Thug-of-war πŸ‹οΈ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab πŸ» Beer-battered beer πŸ» Beer-scented soap πŸ» Bottle of beer from a wall πŸ» Bottle of domesticated beer πŸ» Bottle of holy ale πŸ» Can of ambrosia πŸ» Exclamation pint πŸ» β€œFree beer” ticket πŸ» Instant beer tablet πŸ» Pint of no return πŸ» Strange brew πŸ» Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork πŸ» Awkward paws πŸ» Bear arms πŸ» Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup πŸ» Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly πŸ» Lion belch
Taverns All Inn πŸ» The Battle Toad πŸ» Caravanserai πŸ» Progress Bar πŸ» The Rumor Mill πŸ» The Sword & Sandal πŸ» The Whinery
  1. ↑ not "lager and lager"
  2. ↑ considering the low intelligence of the domesticators viz a viz' the domesticated