BlueStapler

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Favorite, 1st rank (Check up on your hero for 90 consecutive days) Builder, 1st rank (Build a temple) Invincible, 1st rank (Win 10 duels in a row after level 50) Animalist, 1st rank (Raise up a pet to level 30) Careerist, 1st rank (Reach Cardinal rank in 3 different guilds) Hunter, 1nd rank (Kill 500 boss-monsters) 26%
Saint, 2nd rank (Encourage the hero 1,000 times) 59% Coach, 2nd rank (Have sparring fights with 50 different friends) 29% Fiend, 2nd rank (Punish the hero 1,000 times) 18% Champion, 2nd rank (Win 50 duels) 18% Raider, 2nd rank (Loot 50 treasures from dungeons) 61% Shipwright, 2nd rank (Collect 300 pieces of gopher wood) 38%
BlueStapler
BlueStaplerImg.jpg
Publisher of The Garlic
Hero
God BlueStapler
Born Aug. 30, 2011
Birth Place Classified
Religion Phthalostapolism
Motto <variable>
Personality Multiple
Level 85
Gender Male
Wins / Losses 93 / 30
Chronicles Link BlueStapler
Signature BSsignature.png
Temple
Completion Sept. 27, 2012
Pantheon Rank 2547
Guild
Name Knights who say Ni
Rank Regent
Join Date February 11, 2013
Pet
Name Dogmeat
Type Solar Bear
Personality "Grand"
Tamed June 28, 2012
Level 56
Age 23 months
Healing Count 19
Skills
Palm of the panda combat
Asynchronous swimming transport
Street magic combat
Unbearable boredom trade
Teeth gnashing combat
Cry of horror combat
Swoop of the smith combat
Drunken rampage combat
Instant hairloss combat
Battle chess combat

BlueStapler the Hero

The small hut at a classified location where the Hero BlueStapler was born. Notice the solar-powered darkness absorber on the left side of the hut.

BlueStapler (born August 30, 2011 / Day 478 g.e.) is the champion of the God BlueStapler and the 522nd member of the Knights who say Ni. He is a former Hierarch of the Blue Feather Guild and a a former Cardinal of the Masters of Earth and Heaven guild. He is also the seventeen generation of the Phthalocyanine Spectrum.

BlueStapler is formally styled as Blue of House Stapler, the First of His Name, Keeper of the Wiki, Publisher of The Garlic, Guardian of Eagles, Defender of the Faith, Warden of the Twenty-Fifth Forty-Seventh Temple, and Protector of the Realm.

While initial reports have indicated that he was named after his god, further evidence suggests that he was simply named after a document attachment device and the color green not being available.

The location of the Hero BlueStapler's birth remains classified--G.I. Joe style. Members of the conservative party have questioned BlueStapler's birth stating that he was not born in Godville, though no evidence to the contrary has arisen. On Day 525 g.e., a photograph of BlueStapler's birth location surfaced. Many photography experts have attempted to determine the photograph's precise location without success.

The Hero BlueStapler's current pet is a Solar Bear named Dogmeat. Past pets include:

Jet Pack Construction

A sculptor’s artistic rendition of the Hero BlueStapler’s jet pack.

In October 2011, the Hero BlueStapler attempted to build a jet pack to compensate for his complete lack of transportation skills. He boasted that, when completed, the jet pack could transport him faster than a level 50 Solar Bear. Moreover, that the jet pack would use environmentally friendly materials, run entirely off water, and be Godville's first zero emission mechanical flying machine. Skeptics questioned whether such a device could be built, but environmental groups hailed the effort saying that "no longer will our land be plagued by the harmful methane gasses of pets."

Over 7,000 people gather for the first public demonstration of the jet pack. After much fanfare and speeches, BlueStapler put the pack on, pressed the ignition button and . . . the crowd gasped in horror.

Media outlets and the magazine Scientific Godville dubbed the jet pack a complete and utter failure. Never before has such a device promised so much and delivered the complete opposite. "BlueStapler is ruined" news stations stated.

Three days later, documents in the Godville Patent and Trademark Office revealed that the purpose of the jet pack was "a device designed to smack the user's face into the ground at the most inopportune time." Following that release, the jet pack was later designated an absolute success.

Half Temple Party

The early hours of the half party.

On April 28, 2012, the Hero BlueStapler hosted a half party commemorating the 50% completion of his temple. The party was held on his temple grounds in violation of established Godville law. Although the hero BlueStapler's chronicles document that "one in two Godville citizens appeared" (an amount equal to 500,000), experts estimated attendance at between 25,000 and 35,000. Godville police were called to the disturbance four times throughout the night and fifteen people were taken to the Godville Memorial Hospital. The next morning, insurance adjusters documented that the left side of the temple had completely melted from the constant stream of lightning bolts. The invoice from the Blue Feather Beer Company indicated that no less than 11,458 gallons of beer had been consumed. A play based upon the party sold out a record seventy-four straight showings at the Grawman Theater in Godvillewood.

Motto Violation Controversy

On June 1, 2012, the Hero BlueStapler changed his motto to As Inappropriate. At some point in the following seven days, it was changed to Removed Per Godville TOS. To date, no one, including the Godville Administrator, has come forward as the entity responsible for making the change. On June 18, 2012, the Godville Administrator was quote with saying "Although our policy is that it is every citizen's duty to report a motto as inappropriate, no one in this administration received any reports regarding BlueStapler's motto, nor do our records indicate that we changed BlueStapler's motto at any time." On August 15, 2012, the Godville Police Department officially closed the case. An underground network of heroes has reportedly threatened to stage a flashmob to "free BlueStapler's motto," but, to date, no flashmobs have been reported.

Pet Resurrection Statue

The solar boar resurrection statue resides outside BlueStapler's completed temple.

On August 25, 2012, the Hero Blue Stapler successfully managed to convince the priests to heal his level 15 solar bear named Dogmeat. To commemorate this momentous occasion, he commissioned a sculptor 9,532 coins to make a statue of the priest performing the resurrection ritual. The sculpting instructions called for a depiction of a priest sitting down resurrecting the solar bear Dogmeat.

Upon the Hero BlueStapler’s return to the sculptor’s shop, he discovered a sculpture of a priest healing a solar boar. BlueStapler was livid, “what the heck is a solar boar?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” replied the sculptor “does this look like Godville University’s Zoology Department?.”

“What am I supposed to do this statue? BlueStapler asked.

“Tie it to your solar bear and drag it back to your temple.” The sculptor responded.

On June 28, 2012, BlueStapler tamed Dogmeat. He was just about darn near the cutest thing ever. What happened?
BlueStapler riding Dogmeat back to town.

Questionable Content Ideabox

On January 30, 2013, BlueStapler became the first god to have been personally named in the questionable content section of the ideabox. Paparazzi from as far away as Russian Godville surrounded BlueStapler’s temple and began asking questions. Reporters from the five major new stations, the Godville Times, and The Garlic appeared. The event was headline news for an entire week. For months, BlueStapler accepted various offers from the major movie studios for the film rights.

Peach Out Home Brains

On February 11, 2013, BlueStapler left the cryptic message "Peach Out, Home Brains" in the BlueFeather Guild Council, changed his motto to the same message, and joined the Knights who say Ni guild.

Cryptologist, scholars, and persons of great intelligence from across the land gathered to determine the meaning of the indecipherable phrase. "How does one peach out a home brain?" and "What does peach out mean and more importantly, what is a home brain" scholars asked. Upon thirty days of vigorous debate, the consensus of the group what that BlueStapler had heard the common phrase "Peace Out, Hombres" (roughly translated as "Goodbye Guys") and, in attempt to be hip, incorrectly repeated it.

Temple Construction

Godly Specifications

On September 18, 2012, BlueStapler finalized the plans for his temple according to the following strict requirements transmitted by his god:

  1. Use Exactly 1,000 Gold Bricks – The temple must use 1000 gold bricks, no more, no less. Gold bricks cannot be used for adornment. Gold bricks must be fixtures, not chattel.
  2. No Cutting Gold Bricks - Gold Bricks cannot be cut. Every gold brick must be placed whole. The temple requirements are 1000 gold bricks, not 950 gold bricks and 100 half gold bricks.
  3. Stacking is OK – Due to the nature of golden bricks, stacking bricks directly on top of each other does not provide less structural stability than staggering gold bricks. This attribute arises due to requirement #2.
  4. Doors and Doorways Required - The temple must have at least two doors. The diary entries of other heroes who have completed a temple say ". . . opened all the doors . . ." This means there shall be at least one doorway with two doors or two doorways. Instead of using one big door over a single doorway, the temple may use two skinnier doors for that doorway to account for the "doors" requirement. The hero may wish to split a door in two to keep symmetry. Doors do not have to be made out of gold bricks.
  5. Rooms – The temple shall have at least two rooms. The diary entries of other heroes who have completed a temple say ". . . swept all the rooms . . ." This means there shall be more than one room. However, as with most construction involving bricks, the interior walls of a temple need not be made out of golden bricks. Accordingly, there is no need to use gold bricks to divide the temple into rooms, though the hero may choose to do so.
  6. Cube Dimensions Required - The temple shall be a cube (meaning: to the nearest whole gold brick), ignoring the gable. (A gable is the triangular portion of a wall between the edges of a sloping roof, just google it.) Therefore, the length and width of each face shall be the same and the height shall be the same as the width (to the nearest gold brick). The gable (since it is a triangle) can be ignored for purposes of calculating the cube.
  7. Symmetry Required - In keeping with the spirit of the cube, the temple is also to be symmetrical. From an exterior view, the right side of the temple shall be a mirror image of the left side (cutting the temple in half produces two pieces in mirror image of each other). Additionally, each face (the front, back, left, and right) shall also be symmetrical. See also requirements #4 and #10.
  8. Each gold brick is 230 mm x 76 mm x 110 mm - The wiki temple page says 230 cm x 7.6 cm, but does not list the third dimension. Since a standard Australian Brick is 230 mm x 76 mm x 110 mm, the hero shall assume the third dimension of a gold brick is also 110 mm. Moreover, the standard Australian brick is the only "standard" brick that fits the first two given dimensional parameters. Alternatively, we could assume that brick measurements have the following ratio: 6 x 3 x 2.
  9. Roof and Ceiling – The hero may construct the roof, ceiling, and floor from materials other than gold bricks. Brick roofs and brick ceilings are ugly, though the hero is free to use gold bricks in any of those locations if desired.
  10. Windows Optional – Windows are optional. Pilgrims and priests generally don't enjoy praying in the dark. The Hero should also be energy conscious. If a temple has windows, those windows must follow the symmetry rule; if there are two windows on the right side, there must be two identical windows on the other side. Additionally, since each face must be symmetrical, a single window must be in the middle of that face.
  11. Gable Must Be Made of Gold Bricks – Gables are optional; the temple may have a flat roof. If gables are used, they shall be made out of gold bricks. Brick buildings with gables generally have gables made out of bricks; otherwise it would look weird. Windows may be placed in gables. Installing a window in only the front or back gable does not violate the symmetry rule because the entire left side of the temple will be the same as the entire right and each face will still be symmetrical.
  12. Aesthetics – The Heroes shall take aesthetics into account. Nobody wants an ugly temple. In other words, do not design a temple with oversized or undersized windows or doors.

Temple Plans in Response to Requirements

The next week the Hero returned with temple plans using exactly 1,000 gold bricks:

  • Front and back faces are 11 gold bricks wide
  • The sides are 10 gold bricks wide.
  • The height of the temple on the sides is 33 gold bricks.
  • The side walls are assembled such that the 110 mm side touches the 230 mm side of the front face bricks.
  • There are four windows
  • The side windows are each 8 gold bricks wide by 13 gold bricks tall. Each side has one window.
  • The back of the temple has two windows 3 gold bricks wide and 13 gold bricks tall. Please ignore what I previously wrote about the back wall.
  • The doorway is in the middle of the front face and is 30 gold bricks tall by 5 bricks gold wide.
  • The doorway shall be split and be covered by two doors: one with hinges on the left and one with hinges on the right.
  • Exterior dimensions of the temple are as follows:
    • Front: 11 gold bricks x 230 mm/gold brick = 2530 mm
    • Sides: 10 gold bricks x 230 mm/gold brick + 110 mm + 110 mm = 2520 mm
    • Height (ignoring gable): 33 gold bricks x 76 mm/gold brick = 2508 mm
  • . . . Australian?
11x10temple.jpg
11x10temple3d.jpg

Blue Stapler's completed temple with solar powered darkness absorbers on the roof and a donation box on the left of the image.

Arena Fighting Tips

  • Don't worry about alignment. Alignment is easy to change, but loses are permanent.
  • Give a heal or attack type of voice command every round.
  • Give a punish or encourage every round.
  • Never use a miracle or give a pray or sacrifice voice command. If you need godpower, use a charge.
  • Start every round with at least 30% god power so you can give one voice command and one action (an encourage or a punish). This includes what may appear to be the last round. Even if it looks like a hero is about to die, use a charge to get at least 30% godpower the next round. The opponent hero may heal and if there is not enough godpower for a proper attack, the hero may heal again and reach full health.
  • Play on a computer so you can see more of the fight and to make typing easier. It will also be easier to see patterns in your opponent's actions this way.
  • Do be afraid to tie. If your opponent has a record of 500/2, it might be more beneficial going for a quick tie instead of a long expensive loss. In other words, if both heroes are in low health, giving an attack voice command and a punish might result in a tie instead of healing and losing later.
  • If your opponent is AFK, try to win the fight as quickly as possible. The longer the fight, the greater the chance the other god may return.
  • Learn to guess backfires. If a backfire hasn't happened for four rounds, one is probably due.


Skirmish Information and Strategy

Invincible, 1st Rank

This is how I got my Invincible, 1st Rank (win 10 duels in a row after level 50):

I thought it would be easier to get the Invincible, 1st rank, achievement through skirmishes than with going to the arena. My logic was any hero who made it to level 50 or higher and was still going to the arena, would probably already have extensive duel experience. Meanwhile heroes who do not go to the arena are less skilled fighters. I could be wrong on this though. I do know that heroes who do not receive assistance from their gods are much easier to defeat than those receiving assistance. Rarely in my skirmishes did I fight a hero receiving godly assistance.

Catching a Skirmish

A hero is more likely to get into a skirmish:

  • About 4-6 days after the previous skirmish
  • When health is at least 90%
  • When Godpower is at least 50% (though in one skirmish I started with 30% godpower)
  • When a hero is leaving Godville at full health. The vast majority of my skirmishes occurred soon after my hero was leaving Godville with full health.
  • Auras don't seem to matter because my hero has skirmished many times with an aura, including an aura of pacifism. Be particularly careful with an aura of pacifism. If a hero has an aura of pacifism, the hero can quest along for hours with full health. At any point, the hero can get into a skirmish. To remedy this, punish the hero to get to about 75% health (since heroes tend to avoid skirmishes when they are not near full health), but watch out if the hero randomly heals.

At the bottom of this section is a chart documenting a my few skirmishes and the number of days since the previous skirmish. After I completed my temple, each skirmish seemed to occur every 4 to 6 days.

How to win every skirmish:

  • Be there to help your hero. You can do this by:
    • Setting the notifications to ring when a hero gets into a duel. Go to Menu => Settings => Notification Settings. Check the box that says "Duel Start Notify when here enters a duel." It should be the second box from the top. Set the notification sound to something loud that will wake you up and do not check the notification time limit. What you're doing here is setting your phone to wake you up if he gets into a skirmish.
    • Giving your hero lots of attention six days after a skirmish. Check on that guy a lot because sometimes the notifications don't work.
  • Avoid skirmishes when a god cannot help the hero (for example, when going into a meeting with the President a God can't say "excuse me, I gotta step out to help my hero"):
    • Reduce hero's health below 50% just before a god becomes unavailable
    • Use all godpower; punishing can also reduce health
    • Tell the hero to die (give the voice command "die"). If a hero is dead, he cannot get into a fight. That means 24 hours of not worrying about losing a skirmish. This is particularly good for long airplane flights without wi-fi.
    • And if all else fails, send the hero to the arena (for example, if a hero hasn't been in a skirmish for 9 days, the god is going on to a remote village without cell service for 72 hours, and the hero is one win away from the Invincible 1st rank achievement, it might be worth taking a chance in the arena instead of letting your hero fight on his own). Additionally, the arena is busier during certain parts of the day than others.

Preskimish Diary Entries

I've noticed these diary entries immediately before a skirmish. If you happen to see them, don't put your phone down:

  • Yearning for some arena fun, spent some time throwing empty bottles at a random passerby.
  • Felt bored without dueling and went looking for trouble.
  • Seeking companionship, I decided to pick a fight with the next person to walk by.

While these do not guarantee a skirmish, they will always precede one.

Skirmish Occurrence Data

Skirmish/Arena Date Time Since Previous Duel or Arena Opponent (Hero first letter) Result Notes
8/7/2012 ? G Loss -
8/24/2012 17 days G Win -
9/5/2012 12 days B Win -
9/11/2012 6 days T Loss -
9/17/2012 6 days C Win -
9/27/2012 Temple date - - -
10/8/2012 21 days T Win -
10/13/2012 5 days S Win -
10/20/2012 7 days G Win -
10/26/2012 6 days D Win -
11/1/2012 6 days H Win -
11/8/2012 7 days S Win -
11/15/2012 7 days A Win -
11/23/2012 8 days J Win -
11/30/2012 7 days B Win -
12/5/2012 6 days R Loss -
12/14/2012 9 days E Win -
12/21/2012 7 days B Win -
12/31/2012 3:42 pm arena none no match -
1/1/2013 8:46 pm arena P Win A Real Fight
1/7/2013 11:27 am 6 days 2 hours 41 minutes D Win AFK
1/12/2013 4:00 pm 5 days 4 hours 33 minutes S Win AFK
1/17/2013 2:24 pm 4 days 22 hours 24 minutes A Loss I was AFK
1/23/2013 3:22 am 5 days 12 hours 58 minutes L Win AFK
2/2/2013 12:45 pm 10 days 9 hours 23 minutes V Win AFK
2/7/2013 8:58 pm 5 days 8 hours 13 minutes R Win AFK
2/13/2013 11:33 am 5 days 14 hours 35 minutes R Win AFK
2/19/2013 11:52 pm 6 days 12 hours 19 minutes Sapphire Eyes (Kllr Wolf) Win This god uses miracles!
2/24/2013 8:33 am 4 days 8 hours 41 minutes S Win AFK
3/1/2013 11:01 pm 5 days 14 hours 28 minutes L Win AFK
3/7/2013 10:39 am arena O Win -
3/7/2013 3:00 pm arena C Win -
3/12/2013 6:53 pm 4 days 15 hours 53 minutes A Win AFK
3/15/2013 9:15 am arena N Win -
3/15/2013 6:09 pm arena S Win -
3/20/2013 6:14 am 4 days 12 hours 5 minutes L Win AFK
3/20/2013 1:19 pm arena R Win -
3/20/2013 5:16 pm arena SsbuccusS (SSelluosS) Win This god uses miracles!
3/27/2013 6:25 am 6 days 13 hours 9 minutes B Win AFK
3/28/2013 11:08 am arena M Win AFK
4/3/2013 9:17 am arena A Win AFK
4/7/2013 9:47 pm arena I Win AFK
4/12/2013 11:31 pm arena none no match -
4/17/2013 9:17 pm arena B Loss Lost 193 hp in 1 round
4/22/2013 6:41 pm 4 days 21 hours 24 minutes T Win AFK
4/27/2013 3:33 am 4 days 8 hours 52 minutes A Win AFK
5/5/2013 3:58 am 8 days 0 hours 25 minutes K Win AFK
5/7/2013 9:36 pm arena none no match -
5/8/2013 11:17 pm arena none no match -
5/13/2013 3:25 pm 4 days 16 hours 8 minutes G Win AFK
5/16/2013 3:34 pm arena C Win -
5/18/2013 3:18 pm arena S Loss Didn't Check GC - I forfeited
5/21/2013 12:18 pm arena R Win -
5/27/2013 12:36 am arena A Win -
6/3/2013 5:47 pm 7 days 17 hours 11 minutes B Win AFK
6/8/2013 6:59 pm 5 days 1 hour 12 minutes P Win AFK
6/14/2013 8:32 am 5 days 13 hours 33 minutes Y Win AFK
6/21/2013 12:12 pm 6 days 17 hours 40 minutes I Win -
6/26/2013 2:17 am arena none no match -
7/6/2013 3:16 am 10 days 0 hours 59 minutes E Loss -
7/14/2013 3:43 pm 8 days 12 hours 27 minutes M Win AFK
7/21/2013 11:53 pm 7 days 8 hours 10 minutes Z Win AFK
7/28/2013 11:11 am 6 days 11 hours 18 minutes K Win AFK
8/4/2013 10:38 pm 7 days 11 hours 27 minutes S Win AFK
8/12/2013 10:24 pm 7 days 23 hours 46 minutes A Win AFK
8/20/2013 11:52 pm 8 days 1 hour 28 minutes D Win AFK
8/29/2013 11:42 pm arena none no match -
9/6/2013 9:23 am 7 days 9 hours 41 minutes B Win AFK
9/12/2013 11:21 am 6 days 1 hours 58 minutes A Win AFK
9/18/2013 1:45 am 5 days 14 hours 24 minutes M Win AFK
10/2/2013 12:15 pm 14 days 10 hours 30 minutes V Loss Both AFK
10/5/2013 7:21 pm arena H Loss I was AFK*
10/8/2013 3:05 pm arena H Win -
10/14/2013 6:17 pm 6 days 3 hours 12 minutes J Loss I was AFK
10/20/2013 2:02 pm 5 days 19 hours 45 minutes W Win AFK
11/1/2013 9:47 am 11 days 19 hours 45 minutes M Win AFK
11/8/2013 11:16 am 7 days 1 hour 29 minutes S Win AFK
11/14/2013 11:02 pm 6 days 11 hours 46 minutes S Win AFK
11/20/2013 4:10 am 5 days 5 hours 8 minutes T Win AFK
11/27/2013 1:14 pm 7 days 9 hours 4 minutes K Win AFK
12/06/2013 8:11 am 8 days 18 hours 57 minutes A Win -
12/15/2013 8:49 am 9 days 0 hours 38 minutes P Win AFK
12/25/2013 7:06 pm 9 days 22 hours 17 minutes T Win AFK
1/6/2014 7:55 am 11 days 12 hours 49 minutes Maracas (Catsocks) Win This god uses miracles!
1/14/2014 9:41 pm 8 days 13 hours 46 minutes G Win AFK
1/24/2014 3:42 pm 10 days 18 hours 1 minutes E Win AFK
2/3/2014 6:52 am 9 days 15 hours 10 minutes P Win AFK
2/23/2014 10:07 am 19 days 3 hours 15 minutes P Win AFK
3/16/2014 2:38 pm 21 days 5 hours 31 minutes N Win AFK
4/17/2014 2:23 am 31 days 11 hours 45 minutes S Win Both AFK
5/04/2014 5:58 pm 17 days 15 hours 35 minutes R Loss Both AFK
5/25/2014 12:29 am 20 days 16 hours 31 minutes S Win AFK

*Somehow, my pocket sent my hero to the arena. Yes, I don't know how that's possible.

time counter

Miraca Ho's of Godville

What is a Miraca Ho? Thanks for asking. A miraca ho is someone who uses one or more miracles during an arena fight or a skirmish. Using a miracle during a fight is rude, socially unacceptable, and bad form. It also really pisses people off. Xzzwxz calls them b-holes, but that's rather uncreative. I call them miraca ho's, which is short for miracle horrible.

Kllr Wolf

On February 19, 2013, GodKllr Wolf  used TWO miracles during a skirmish and still lost. He is a miraca ho.

KllrWolfUsed2MiraclesInASkirmish.jpg.png

SselluosS

On March 20, 2013, GodSselluosS  used a miracle during an arena fight and still lost. He is a miraca ho.

SselluosSUsedAMiracleInTheArena.png

Catsocks

On January 6, 2014, GodCatsocks  used TWO miracles during a skirmish and still lost. She is a miraca ho.

CatsocksUsed2MiraclesInASkirmish.jpg


Pet Level Up Time (Solar Bear)

It took me 201 days to raise a solar bear to level 30.

SolarBearLevelUp.png

My Approved Submissions

Type Yes No Y/N Ratio Date Entry
Arms 81 27 3.00 2013-07 Warm embracelets
Arms 24 14 1.71 2013-04 Vibranium vambraces
Artifacts 59 19 3.11 2013-09 Cul-de-sack (@) - temporarily expands the inventory capacity of a hero
Artifacts 65 26 2.50 2013-07 Liquid nitrogen hammer (@) - turns a golden brick into 3000 coins
Artifacts 19 7 2.71 2013-06 Steam powered defibrillator
Artifacts 44 36 1.22 2013-12 Sudokube
Artifacts 72 30 2.40 2014-01 Year of the %pet_class% poster
Artifacts 57 42 1.36 2014-02 'didn't get the memo' memo (a big thank you to GodIronical  for this one)
Artifacts 82 32 2.56 2014-02 'slippery when dry' sign
Artifacts 57 35 1.63 2014-02 non-absorbent napkin
Diary 45 11 4.09 2013-02 I could have spent more than %gold% on healing potions, but I saved some money for the love potions on the next shelf. The effects of those sound really promising!
Diary 53 47 1.13 2012-07 My quest to %quest% was a complete success. Got a slightly tarnished golden brick as a reward. I think I will use this brick in the back corner of my temple.
Diary 94 19 4.95 2013-11 Just remembered that I had a homework assignment to start a fight with a total stranger.
Diary 106 11 9.64 2014-02 Used curiosity as my compass. After that, everything went south.
Diary 82 24 3.42 2014-02 Fun fact %rg% 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
Diary 92 16 5.75 2014-02 %random_friend% poured a cooler of sports drink on me and yelled “Congratulations on the crossword win.” I hope this new aura of %v% prevents my equipment from rusting.
Duels 86 12 7.17 2013-12 The boss turns the music up to eleven to deafen down the voice command.
Dungeons 33 26 1.27 2013-10 Sharks with laser beams swim out of the walls and injure the heroes.
Dungeons 76 13 5.85 2014-02 This room’s motif was obviously inspired by a castle basement.
Dungeons 57 21 2.71 2014-02 Hinternet access in this room reveals that the treasure is %dir%.
Dungeons 81 9 9.00 2014-02 Those who missed the plunder are marked with ridiculous fake mustaches and dragged to the surface.
Dungeons 76 13 5.85 2013-10 The heroes find a brewery and vigorously debate whether it is the treasure
Earthly News 76 24 3.17 2014-02 Relishing the moment with a minced pickle…
Earthly News 76 16 4.75 2014-02 Searching for the cute customs officer {he|she} saw last week…
Monsters 55 29 1.90 2013-11 Sixth Sensei
Quests 64 21 3.05 2013-08 Right anything that is wrong, then wrong anything that is left
Quests 68 32 2.13 2013-07 Spackle the crack of dawn
Quests 66 45 1.47 2013-11 Parallel park a train
Quests 80 25 3.20 2013-12 Gather enough ranch dressing to feed a thousand islands
Quests 74 27 2.74 2014-02 Seal the deal with duct tape
Quests 91 29 3.14 2014-02 Reenact the previous quest with Legos
Weapons 54 32 1.69 2013-09 Grand canon

8,472 Coin Medicine Dropper of Holy Water

On November 26, 2013. BlueStapler bought the most expensive Medicine dropper of holy water of all time.

8472MDOHW1.jpg
8472MDOHW2.jpg
8472MDOHW3.jpg