Difference between revisions of "Beer Mugger"

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{{monster
 
{{monster
 
| image =  <!-- An image filename (e.g. Example_picture_name.jpg). If the filename doesn't exist, this gives you a link to upload it. -->
 
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| description =  
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| description = The broken and battered body of a failed adventurer in the clothes of a lurking thug
 
| latin =  Grassator cervisiarius
 
| latin =  Grassator cervisiarius
 
| class = Illegal Acquirer / Cerevisaphile
 
| class = Illegal Acquirer / Cerevisaphile
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The '''Beer Mugger''' (''Grassator cervisiarius'') is a [[monster]] known primarily by robbing unsuspecting (and, often, inebriated) citizens of their valuable barley-and-hops-based beverages.  It is speculated that Beer Muggers are actually the remains of particularly inept and failed heroes. The many beatings they would receive at the hands of other monsters left them disfigured and unrecognizable, and their failure to acquire gold coins left them utterly without beer.  Thus, they abandoned adventuring for a life of crime.  
 
The '''Beer Mugger''' (''Grassator cervisiarius'') is a [[monster]] known primarily by robbing unsuspecting (and, often, inebriated) citizens of their valuable barley-and-hops-based beverages.  It is speculated that Beer Muggers are actually the remains of particularly inept and failed heroes. The many beatings they would receive at the hands of other monsters left them disfigured and unrecognizable, and their failure to acquire gold coins left them utterly without beer.  Thus, they abandoned adventuring for a life of crime.  
  
 
After the introductory text, you may wish to divide your article into sections separated by headings.
 
  
 
== Behavior ==
 
== Behavior ==
  
Beer muggers' primary motivation is to acquire beer through illegal means.  They are particularly drawn to heroes and heroines. Godville University monsterologists hold two competing theories as to the origins of this attraction.  The "Pong" school of thought maintains that the Beer Mugger can detect the scent of even small quantities of beer on the breath or clothing of heroes and heroines (but, if we're being honest, the quantities are rarely small).  The "Density" school of thought espouses the theory that Beer Muggers have learned over many years of experience that heroes and heroines are the stupidest citizens of Godville, and therefore the most desirable targets.  As it happens, the unusual attire of most of the adventuring classes makes them easy for hunting Beer Muggers to spot.
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Beer muggers' primary motivation is to acquire beer through illegal means.  They are particularly drawn to heroes and heroines, motivated both by the knowledge that heroes and beer are rarely far apart and buy their deep jealousy of anyone who has had success in adventuring and heroism.  
Beer Muggers will approach their targets, often in a darkened alley and wearing a long coat or balaclava, and demand a case of beer.  As their victims also tend to be cerevisaphiles, the result is a winner-take-all-beer battle to the death.  Following a successful mugging, the Beer Mugger will hastily drink down it prize, cry while looking at pictures of ex-lovers, then pass out on the sidewalk, only to rise again. hung over, the next morning to begin the hunt again.
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Godville University monsterologists hold two competing theories as to how the Beer Mugger locates its prey.  The "Pong" school of thought maintains that the Beer Mugger can detect the scent of even small quantities of beer on the breath or clothing of heroes and heroines (but, if we're being honest, the quantities are rarely small).  The "Threads" school of thought espouses the theory that Beer Muggers have learned over many years of experience that heroes and heroines, the most desirable targets, can be easily identified by the unusual attire worn by the adventuring classes.
 +
Beer Muggers will approach their targets, often in a darkened alley and wearing a long coat or balaclava, and demand a case of beer.  As their victims also tend to be cerevisaphiles, the result is a winner-take-all-beer battle to the death.  Following a successful mugging, the Beer Mugger will hastily drink down its prize, cry while looking at pictures of ex-lovers, then pass out on the sidewalk, only to rise again. hung over, the next morning to begin the hunt again.
  
 
== Anti Beer Mugger Tactics ==
 
== Anti Beer Mugger Tactics ==
  
 
The easiest way to defeat a Beer Mugger is to pretend to acquiesce to its demands, then kill it while it guzzles down the beer.  This strategy is, however, only a theoretical one, as no hero has been found thus far who has been willing to surrender any beer without a fight.  
 
The easiest way to defeat a Beer Mugger is to pretend to acquiesce to its demands, then kill it while it guzzles down the beer.  This strategy is, however, only a theoretical one, as no hero has been found thus far who has been willing to surrender any beer without a fight.  
 
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Some have successfully evaded the Beer Mugger's complex sensory system by dousing themselves in chardonnay, while others have had success by shouting, "Hey, behind you -- a bachelor party".
 
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By far, the most common tactic is to repeatedly thrash the Beer Mugger with a weapon and hope for the best. This has been the preferred method in 97.46% of all fights with Beer Muggers<ref>It is important to keep in mind that 87% of all statistics are made up.</ref> in which no divine lightning strikes occurred.
Common sections (headings) for a Monster article include: History, Life cycle.
 
 
 
You might organize some information into lists:
 
* How to recognize this monster
 
* Tips for battling this monster
 
* Other distinguishing features
 
 
 
Whatever you think will be interesting and helpful to other gods, that's what you should include in your article.
 
 
 
An Attributes section can be a good way to wrap up a monster article. It usually has two subsections: a list of Strengths, then a list of Weaknesses.
 
  
 
== Attributes ==
 
== Attributes ==
  
 
=== Strengths ===
 
=== Strengths ===
* Strength
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* Powerful sensory powers
* Strength
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* Utter contempt for successful adventurers fuels rage fighting
* Strength
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* Blind-drunk damage resistance
  
 
=== Weaknesses ===
 
=== Weaknesses ===
* Weakness
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* Their jealousy masks feelings of deep inadequacy
* Weakness
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* Easily distracted by the possibility of easily acquired beer
* Weakness
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* Blind-drunk coordination impairment
 +
 
 +
==References==
 +
<references />
 +
 
  
 
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Revision as of 20:17, 5 January 2019


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Last edit: 46 days ago by Beausoleil — History

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Pets of Godville
Beer Mugger
Grassator cervisiarius
Menagerie.png
Class Illegal Acquirer / Cerevisaphile
Habitat Outside of taverns, bars, and other places where beers is sold
Description The broken and battered body of a failed adventurer in the clothes of a lurking thug
Boss
Boss Type Unknown
Pet

The Beer Mugger (Grassator cervisiarius) is a monster known primarily by robbing unsuspecting (and, often, inebriated) citizens of their valuable barley-and-hops-based beverages. It is speculated that Beer Muggers are actually the remains of particularly inept and failed heroes. The many beatings they would receive at the hands of other monsters left them disfigured and unrecognizable, and their failure to acquire gold coins left them utterly without beer. Thus, they abandoned adventuring for a life of crime.


Behavior

Beer muggers' primary motivation is to acquire beer through illegal means. They are particularly drawn to heroes and heroines, motivated both by the knowledge that heroes and beer are rarely far apart and buy their deep jealousy of anyone who has had success in adventuring and heroism. Godville University monsterologists hold two competing theories as to how the Beer Mugger locates its prey. The "Pong" school of thought maintains that the Beer Mugger can detect the scent of even small quantities of beer on the breath or clothing of heroes and heroines (but, if we're being honest, the quantities are rarely small). The "Threads" school of thought espouses the theory that Beer Muggers have learned over many years of experience that heroes and heroines, the most desirable targets, can be easily identified by the unusual attire worn by the adventuring classes. Beer Muggers will approach their targets, often in a darkened alley and wearing a long coat or balaclava, and demand a case of beer. As their victims also tend to be cerevisaphiles, the result is a winner-take-all-beer battle to the death. Following a successful mugging, the Beer Mugger will hastily drink down its prize, cry while looking at pictures of ex-lovers, then pass out on the sidewalk, only to rise again. hung over, the next morning to begin the hunt again.

Anti Beer Mugger Tactics

The easiest way to defeat a Beer Mugger is to pretend to acquiesce to its demands, then kill it while it guzzles down the beer. This strategy is, however, only a theoretical one, as no hero has been found thus far who has been willing to surrender any beer without a fight. Some have successfully evaded the Beer Mugger's complex sensory system by dousing themselves in chardonnay, while others have had success by shouting, "Hey, behind you -- a bachelor party". By far, the most common tactic is to repeatedly thrash the Beer Mugger with a weapon and hope for the best. This has been the preferred method in 97.46% of all fights with Beer Muggers[1] in which no divine lightning strikes occurred.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Powerful sensory powers
  • Utter contempt for successful adventurers fuels rage fighting
  • Blind-drunk damage resistance

Weaknesses

  • Their jealousy masks feelings of deep inadequacy
  • Easily distracted by the possibility of easily acquired beer
  • Blind-drunk coordination impairment

References

  1. It is important to keep in mind that 87% of all statistics are made up.


🍺  Lagers and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!  🍺
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Thanks to all participants
Complete article • ✒️ Stub • 📷 Picture required
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Tigers Basement Cat  🐱 Bureau-cat  🐱 Fat Cat  🐱 Meowntain Cat  🐱 Neferkitty  🐱 Photocopycat  🐱 Punk Panther  🐱 Weakest Lynx 
Bears Bear Minimum 
Oh My! Adminotaur  🏋️ Boozerker  🏋️ Godbuster  🏋️ Thug-of-war  🏋️ Wraptor 
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Artifacts Bar tab  🍻 Beer-battered beer  🍻 Beer-scented soap  🍻 Bottle of beer from a wall  🍻 Bottle of domesticated beer  🍻 Bottle of holy ale  🍻 Can of ambrosia  🍻 Exclamation pint  🍻 “Free beer” ticket  🍻 Instant beer tablet  🍻 Pint of no return  🍻 Strange brew 🍻 Vanishing pint 📷
Equipment Ancient cork  🍻 Awkward paws  🍻 Bear arms 🍻 Beer goggles 
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup  🍻 Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries 
Skills Beer belly  🍻 Lion belch 
Taverns All Inn  🍻 The Battle Toad  🍻 Caravanserai  🍻 Progress Bar  🍻 The Rumor Mill  🍻 The Sword & Sandal  🍻 The Whinery