1-calorie meal

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Artifacts of Godville
1-calorie meal
Calorie.png
Type 🧷Normal
Description One grain of cooked rice.

The 1-calorie meal consists of a single piece of rice. Finding this item may suggest that the monster was on a strict diet — perhaps going mad from hunger was the very reason it attacked the hero.

About

The 1-calorie meal is one grain of cooked rice. In most taverns, this is white rice, but in taverns involved in the latest health food craze, it is possible to find wild rice, brown rice, yellow rice, and purple rice as enticing variety. Surprisingly, connoisseurs do not consider the best rice to come from the environs of Bad Gateway, but from a little farm beside a waterfall flowing into the Blue Portal Lagoon.

Heroes or heroines wanting to stay in shape will also sometimes order this meal, usually followed by a single drop of beer. Fine rice gourmands have been known to order a "flight" of 1-calorie meals in many varieties for the joy of experiencing the pure flavors in contrast to each other.

Dos and Don'ts of Cooking

Chefs consider cooking or serving a 1-calorie meal in butter one of the greatest missteps to ever blight a table. Instead, these items are to be boiled in salted spring water, sprinkled with fresh-chopped thyme, lightly steamed and seasoned with bay, or served raw on a bed of dandelion petals. The unskilled cook may serve a 1-calorie meal on a bone porcelain plate with no garnishes.