|Lynx infirmissimus cibarius|
|Habitat||Anywhere it can stretch out and look adorable.|
|Description||A deceptively cute and vulnerable member of the Felidae family.|
The Weakest Lynx (Lynx infirmissimus cibarius) is a monster renowned for its helplessness. This is at once its greatest vulnerability and its most dangerous trait.
How to Recognize this Monster
All lynxes, even ordinary ones, are known for the comical tufts on their ears, their endearingly huge paws, and cute stubby tail. The Weakest Lynx deploys these to great advantage in a fight.
Many a champion has been undone by thinking of this monster as simply a very large kitten. Even the most hard-hearted of heroines will melt when a Weakest Lynx rolls onto its side, exposes its belly, licks one great paw, and begins rubbing its ears.
The monster's sheer cuteness wrings a series of increasingly loud "Awww"s out of its opponent. This continues until the heroine is desperately short of breath. At this point, the Weakest Lynx need only tap its opponent gently with one powderpuff-gentle paw to deliver the fatal blow.
Tips for battle
The best defence against the Weakest Lynx is to cover one's eyes so that its adorable appearance cannot work sinister magic. At this point, the monster will snort indignantly and go off in a huff.
- Soft, soft, soft fur... so soft...
- Those ears, tho!!!
- And the paws look like BABY KITTEN PAWS THEY ARE SO HUGE OMG!!!!1!1
- Easily distracted by catnip.
- Terrified by vacuum cleaners and balloons.
- Really, really, really dislikes getting wet.