User:TheGourdGod

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Animalist honored.png Favorite honored.png Hunter honored.png Raider honored.png Builder 1st.png Coach 1st.png Invincible 1st.png Moneybag 1st.png Saint 1st.png Savior 1st.png Shipwright 1st.png Champion 2nd.png Fiend 2nd.png Seadog 2nd.png Careerist 3rd.png Martyr 3rd.png
TheGourdGod
Championed by the Hero: Altina
Personality: Drunk
Gender: Female
Motto: Lodge – from Blammo!
Guild: Skeatseria Lodge
Guild Position: Brewmaster
Favorite Town: Beerburgh



Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 1067 g.e.
Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 1279 g.e.
Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 1281 g.e.
Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 1414 g.e.
Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 1451 g.e.
Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 1796 g.e.
Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 1807 g.e.
Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 2086 g.e.
Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 2372 g.e.
Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 2400 g.e.
Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 2822 g.e.
Altina making the cover of the Godville Times on day 3187 g.e.

Statistics

Deaths

First time reaching 1 in Survival (8-30-13)
Second/third time reaching 1 in Survival (11-8-17) (was 1 for 11 of 13 days in a row
  • Highest rank in Pantheon of Survival: 1
  • Days spent at 1 in Survival: 187
  • Most days spent consecutively at 1 in Survival: 101 (followed by 24, then 18)
  • Days spent at 0 deaths: 21 (including 3 days before first death)
  • Most days spent consecutively at 0 deaths: 12
  • Supposed current death count: 0
  • Actual current death count: 178
  • Deaths lost due to black boxes: 263
  • Deaths gained due to black boxes: 85
  • Deaths from sunk ark in sails: 2
  • First death: Day 3
  • Longest time between deaths: 116 days, (second longest – 74 days, third longest – 67 days, fourth longest – 63 days, fifth longest – 62 days, sixth longest – 58, seventh longest – 41 days, twice)
  • Shortest time between deaths: 3 days (twice)

Boss Monsters

  • Total boss monsters killed: 3280
  • Most bosses killed in one day: 10
  • Broken down as follows:
Dungeon boss monsters killed: 2756 Diggable boss monsters killed: 329 Mini-quest/Activatable boss monsters killed: 195
Adminotaur: 3 Alpacalypse: 34 Ancient Demon: 13
Afterlifeguard: 46 Alpha Mole: 35 Archnemesis: 11
Aftermoth: 106 Beermonger: 2 Arrestocrat: 6
Appetitan: 54 Dragonandon: 40 Broadbandit: 9
Archetypo: 6 Giga Byter: 27 Centourist: 8
Ark Enemy: 58 Heromnivore: 33 Cholestroll: 2
Bagstabber: 13 Khannibal: 3 Drowned Captain: 28
Blamethrower: 3 Moleosaurus: 24 Headhaunter: 1
Bluffalo: 128 Oreoboros: 1 Hellaphant: 1
Boozerker: 11 Overtaker: 36 Level Boss: 19
Bosstradamus: 53 Repelican: 1 Mad Clown: 27
Buzzkiller: 63 Rootbear: 1 Obituarian: 1
Catastroflea: 117 Squirmisher: 36 Terminator T-34: 15
Cementalist: 11 Terracotta Worrier: 28 Vegan Cannibal: 24
Detrimentalist: 70 Vertigoat: 29 Wherewolf: 17
Difficultist: 30 Zodiyak: 2
Ducktator: 24 Snowman: 15
Dungeon Keeper: 54
Dungeon Sweeper: 118
Escargolem: 7
Exoskeletor: 6
Flashmobster: 30
Flawyer: 9
Flowsnake: 141
Gastronaut: 6
Glitch Doctor: 75
Godbuster: 8
Grimelord: 7
Hangoverlord: 51
Hazmatador: 62
Hellevangelist: 86
Hyperbully: 8
Hypnogriff: 51
Keyborg: 10
Killdebeest: 34
Magnum Octopus: 71
Megahurtz: 5
Minotourist: 133
Nachomancer: 115
Obscentinel: 52
Omnipoet: 11
Optimystic: 14
Oxydjinn: 2
Plundertaker: 102
Quasidodo: 134
Salsamander: 51
Satyrant: 4
Scaretaker: 8
Shamaniac: 7
Shyborg: 63
Sighborg: 145
Spelun King: 17
Stalactitan: 33
Telepony: 11
Thug-of-war: 8
Tinkerhell: 7
Tombcat: 6
Tubercolossus: 53
Turmerisk: 14
Underminer: 19
Uranium Slug: 102
Warmongrel: 5

Dungeons

  • Dungeon breakdown:
Dungeon type Troves found Left due to one or less surviving member Exited due to useless party members Altina died but party found trove Failed to find trove in 100 steps TOTAL
Regulars 288 51 8 7 (once due to bug) 2 356
Abundance 5 1 0 0 0 6
Anti-influence 78 6 2 1 1 88
Clarity 60 9 1 0 0 70
Disobedience 30 5 3 0 0 38
Emptiness 49 5 0 0 0 54
High Stakes 116 25 5 2 0 148
Hoarding 70 10 2 1 3 86
Hotness 51 12 1 0 0 64
Hurry 29 4 0 2 8 43
Jumping 61 8 1 0 0 70
Migration 66 6 3 0 1 76
Mystery 46 6 0 1 2 55
Pledge 50 4 0 1 1 56
Rejuvenation 67 3 3 0 2 75
Robbery 36 5 0 1 1 43
Savings 49 8 0 0 1 58
Solitude 54 0 0 0 1 55
Surprise 69 9 0 0 0 78
Toxicity 44 22 1 1 0 68
Uncertainty 48 10 2 1 0 61
Wealth 63 11 2 0 0 76
Woodness 70 (9 no logs) 4 0 0 2 76
TOTAL 1499 224 34 18 25 1800
  • Types of Mystery dungeons: 3 Anti-Influence, 1 Clarity, 1 Disobedience, 1 Emptiness, 4 High Stakes, 5 Hoarding, 4 Hotness, 1 Migration, 1 Pledge, 2 Rejuvenation, 1 Robbery, 1 Savings, 4 Solitude, 4 Surprise, 4 Toxicity, 4 Uncertainty, 3 Wealth, 3 Woodness (1 no logs), 5 unknown
  • Dungeon switches: Rejuvenation-Hoarding, Wealth-Savings (2), Jumping-Wealth, Toxicity-Emptiness, Clarity-Emptiness
  • Bosses per dungeon:
    • 0-boss dungeons: 271
    • 1-boss dungeons: 590
    • 2-boss dungeons: 624
    • 3-boss dungeons: 251
    • 4-boss dungeons: 53
    • 5-boss dungeons: 7
  • Chance of getting log from dungeon when non-guaranteed: 46.0% (171 logs out of 372 chances)
  • Side quest logs: 60
  • Shortest trove found: 9 steps (followed by 10 and 12 steps)
  • Longest trove found: 100 steps (followed by four at 99, two at 97, and one at 96)
  • Most money from a dungeon (non-robbery): 08:52: Notes from the dungeon: The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Altina puts 23082 gold coins, a log for the ark, another log for the ark, a quantum wrench, a deep space heater, an eye of the beholder, a praystation, an urn with phoenix ashes, a chain reactor, a Godville particle and a truth embellisher in her pockets.
  • Most money from a dungeon (robbery): 11:17: Notes from the dungeon: The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Altina gets 43909 coins, a log for the ark, a christmas miracle, a future antique, a ticket for 'Godville the Musical', a tinsel pack, a christmas cracker, a bengal light and a vial of holiday spirit. Narcissistic, Anastasia Martell and GoodGodLord left unconscious. Those who missed the plunder are given 43691 gold coins in total as a consolation prize.
  • Least money from a dungeon: 05:05: Notes from the dungeon: The heroes plunder the treasure trove and divide the loot. Altina puts 63 coins, a log for the ark, a zombie survival kit, a backstage pass, a zombie survival kit and a golden eye in her pockets.

Ark Log Breakdown

Obligatory ark completion message
  • Highest rank in Pantheon of Arkeology: 18
  • Rank in Arkeology at time of ark completions: 34 (100%), 20 (200%), 27 (300%), 37 (400%)
  • Level when arks completed: 88 (100%), 100 (200%), 107 (300%), 117 (400%)
  • Log breakdown:
Log Source First 1000 Second 1000 Third 1000 Fourth 1000 Fifth 1000 TOTAL
Dungeons 493 418 222 204 11 1348
Side-quests 12 24 13 11 0 60
Temple Bonus 302 350 468 388 6 1514
Epic Quests 192 195 263 248 0 898
Fished Out 0 0 24 25 1 50
Sail Artifacts 0 0 0 61 2 63
Golden Pumpkins 1 14 0 6 0 21
Holiday Items 0 0 10 12 5 27
Aid Cart 0 0 2 0 0 2
Store Lotto 0 0 0 12 0 12
Store Payment 0 0 0 36 11 47
Wanted Monsters 0 0 0 0 6 6
Side Jobs 0 0 0 0 1 1
Lost to Pledge 0 -1 -2 -3 0 -6
Date Completed (began 9/21/13) 10/5/14 (379 days) 11/14/15 (405 days) 4/7/17 (510 days) 12/24/18 (626 days) 4043
  • Most logs earned in one day: 11 (twice – 2 dungeoned, 2 templed, 7 epiced; and 2 dungeoned, 2 side-quested, 7 epiced)
  • Logs from epic quests breakdown:
    • 1: 1
    • 2: 5
    • 3: 6
    • 4: 5
    • 5: 8
    • 6: 56
    • 7: 67
    • Total epics with logs: 147
    • Order:: 4, 7, 2, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 2, 7, 6, 6, 6, 7, 6, 6, 6, 7, 7, 6, 7, 7, 5, 7, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 6, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7, 6, 6, 7, 1, 6, 3, 7, 6, 5, 7, 6, 7, 7, 6, 6, 6, 7, 6, 7, 6, 4, 7, 7, 7, 7, 4, 7, 7, 7, 6, 6, 5, 6, 6, 7, 7, 7, 6, 7, 7, 6, 3, 7, 4, 6, 7, 2, 7, 6, 6, 7, 3, 6, 7, 7, 4, 6, 6, 6, 5, 6, 6, 7, 6, 2, 7, 3, 6, 6, 6, 7, 6, 7, 7, 6, 7, 7, 3, 5, 7, 6, 6, 7, 7, 7, 6, 5, 3, 6, 6, 2, 7, 6, 6, 7, 6, 6, 7, 6, 6, 6, 7, 5, 6, 7, 6, 7, 7, 4, 7, 7
  • Lowest epic log entry: 04:46: Huh. Who knew Godville was so small. For completing an epic quest I was complimented, fed and given a log for the ark and a golden brick as a reward.

Sails

  • Sail breakdown:
Sail type Left with one booty Left with two booty Left without booty Ran out of supplies Ran out of steps Ark sunk TOTAL
Regular 32 13 18 7 0 2 72
More Lighthouses 7 10 2 3 0 0 22
Starting Hints 6 5 1 2 0 0 14
Only ! Hints 9 1 2 2 0 0 14
50 Turns 8 10 2 1 2 2 25
Borders Closed 5 4 1 5 0 0 15
High Winds 8 7 1 0 0 0 16
Roaming Beasties 7 7 3 1 0 0 18
Scaattered Beasties 5 0 0 2 0 0 7
No Gold Bags 11 7 2 1 0 1 22
Double Treasure 1 20 1 2 0 1 25
No Empty Islands 5 7 3 2 0 0 17
Revisit Islands 10 5 3 0 0 0 18
Lots of Reefs 4 2 0 0 0 0 6
TOTAL 118 98 39 28 2 6 291
  • Booty breakdown:
Fenimal Manimal Pile of doubloons Activatable Mini-activatable Bold item TOTAL
50 63 25 76 77 23 314


Black Boxes

Approximate percentages of getting different results from black boxes.

  • Note: “d” means double, so “12 (2d)” in deaths would mean 12 took deaths, 2 of the 12 took two deaths instead of the normal one.
Result Box with a question mark Continuum transfunctioner Davy Jones' locker Deus ex machina Dimensional destabilizer Improbability drive Mystery box Wonderbox TOTAL
Gained brick(s) 2 (1d) 4 (1d) 2 5 1 0 2 (1d) 0 16 (3d)
Gained money 44 74 7 100 33 16 78 9 361
Gained experience 24 54 1 44 18 11 51 6 209
Lost death(s) 17 (1d) 55 (11d) 2 53 (13d) 26 (7d) 11 (3d) 47 (10d) 6 (1d) 217 (46d)
Gained a level 0 0 1 3 0 0 1 0 5
Gained tribbles 4 14 2 13 8 2 5 2 50
Good things 91 201 15 218 86 40 184 23 858
Lost a brick 1 0 0 6 0 0 2 0 9
Lost money 16 40 6 53 18 13 39 3 188
Lost experience 5 20 0 22 8 2 20 0 77
Gained a death 10 16 1 20 11 6 19 2 85
Bad things 32 76 7 101 37 21 80 5 359
Totals 123 276 22 320 123 61 264 28 1217
  • Percentage level ups from black boxes occurred at: 0%, 95%, 76%, 98%, and 2% towards the next levels, in order
  • Fastest level up: 2 hours and 37 minutes, as seen in the progression below:
    • 06:46: Wow, I am level 56 now!
    • 09:23: Felt a burning desire to examine the Davy Jones’ Locker. Found inside something unbelievable — a scroll with instructions on how to get a premature level up!
    • 09:23: Wow, I am level 57 now. I think that's a bigger number than the level I was before.
      • Fun facts about that level up: I had not even gained 1% on level 56 when I jumped to level 57 and it jumped me from 3003 to 2504 in Might
  • Second fastest level up: 7 hours and 32 minutes, as seen in the progression below:
    • 02:51: Wow, 87! I don't get older, I level up!
    • 10:23: Felt a burning desire to disassemble the deus ex machina. Found inside something unbelievable — a scroll with instructions on how to get a premature level up!
    • 10:23: Harder, better, faster, stronger... I'm level 88 and I'm loving every minute of it!
      • Fun facts about that level up: I had only gained 2% on level 87 when I jumped to level 88 and it jumped me from 176 to 144 in Might


Trader Levels

Trader level Date and time Time since last
1 7/27/18 @ 4:29 PM Opened shop
2 7/28/18 @ 4:44 PM 1 day, 15 minutes
3 7/30/18 @ 3:08 AM 1 day, 10 hours, 24 minutes
4 7/31/18 @ 12:14 PM 1 day, 9 hours, 6 minutes
5 8/1/18 @ 4:47 PM 1 day, 4 hours, 33 minutes
6 8/2/18 @ 1:09 PM 20 hours, 22 minutes
7 8/4/18 @ 12:05 AM 1 day, 10 hours, 56 minutes
8 8/5/18 @ 5:18 PM 1 day, 17 hours, 13 minutes
9 8/6/18 @ 11:13 PM 1 day, 5 hours, 55 minutes
10 8/8/18 @ 11:38 AM 1 day, 12 hours, 25 minutes
11 8/10/18 @ 1:28 AM 1 day, 13 hours, 50 minutes
12 8/11/18 @ 11:47 AM 1 day, 10 hours, 19 minutes
13 8/13/18 @ 1:01 AM 1 day, 13 hours, 14 minutes
14 8/14/18 @ 4:24 PM 1 day, 15 hours, 23 minutes
15 8/16/18 @ 6:37 PM 2 days, 2 hours, 13 minutes
16 8/18/18 @ 6:11 PM 1 days, 23 hours, 34 minutes
17 8/21/18 @ 4:50 AM 2 days, 10 hours, 39 minutes
18 8/23/18 @ 3:44 AM 1 days, 22 hours, 54 minutes
19 8/25/18 @ 7:22 AM 2 days, 3 hours, 38 minutes
20 8/27/18 @ 4:28 PM 2 days, 9 hours, 6 minutes
21 8/30/18 @ 3:44 PM 2 days, 23 hours, 44 minutes
22 9/2/18 @ 5:55 PM 3 days, 2 hours, 11 minutes
23 9/5/18 @ 5:57 PM 3 days, 2 minutes
24 9/9/18 @ 12:54 AM 3 days, 6 hours, 57 minutes
25 9/13/18 @ 2:16 AM 4 days, 1 hour, 22 minutes
26 9/16/18 @ 4:51 PM 3 days, 14 hours, 35 minutes
27 9/21/18 @ 4:39 AM 4 days, 11 hours, 48 minutes
28 9/25/18 @ 9:41 PM 4 days, 17 hours, 2 minutes
29 9/30/18 @ 6:43 PM 4 days, 21 hours, 2 minutes
30 10/6/18 @ 7:00 PM 6 days, 17 minutes
31 10/14/18 @ 1:04 AM 7 days, 6 hours, 4 minutes
32 10/20/18 @ 3:53 PM 6 days, 14 hours, 49 minutes
33 10/27/18 @ 5:16 AM 6 days, 13 hours, 23 minutes
34 11/3/18 @ 6:51 PM 7 days, 13 hours, 35 minutes
35 11/11/18 @ 11:53 PM 8 days, 5 hours, 2 minutes
36 11/19/18 @ 9:21 AM 7 days, 9 hours, 28 minutes
37 11/27/18 @ 3:32 AM 7 days, 16 hours, 11 minutes
38 12/5/18 @ 11:57 AM 8 days, 8 hours, 25 minutes
39 12/15/18 @ 5:00 PM 10 days, 5 hours, 3 minutes
40 12/25/18 @ 4:08 AM 9 days, 11 hours, 8 minutes
41 1/4/19 @ 9:04 PM 10 days, 16 hours, 56 minutes
42 1/17/19 @ 11:35 AM 12 days, 14 hours, 31 minutes


Pet History

  • Dogmeat the dust bunny (Awesome starter pet!)
    • Highest level reached: 9
    • Number of deaths: 1
    • Did not reach Pantheon of Taming
    • Detailed history (click to expand):
Dogmeat's age Event
Day 0 Tamed 2 days after Altina reached level 18
Day 1 Reached level 2 (1 day since last)
Day 4 Reached level 3 (3 days since last) – gained personality: chunky
Day 7 Reached level 4 (3 days since last)
Day 10 Reached level 5 (3 days since last)
Day 13 Reached level 6 (3 days since last) – gained personality: snoopy
Day 17 Reached level 7 (4 days since last)
Day 22 Reached level 8 (5 days since last)
Day 27 Reached level 9 (5 days since last) – gained personality: vigorous
Day 28 Killed by Double Dragon
Day 30 Buried 36 hours after dying
  • Boo the sun dog (Good pet, but not as good as Dogmeat.)
    • Highest level reached: 12
    • Number of deaths: 2
    • Peak rank in Pantheon of Taming: 2954
    • Detailed history (click to expand):
Boo's age Event
Day 0 Tamed 10 days after burying Dogmeat
Day 1 Reached level 2 (1 day since last)
Day 3 Reached level 3 (2 days since last) – gained personality: droller
Day 6 Reached level 4 (3 days since last)
Day 9 Reached level 5 (3 days since last)
Day 14 Reached level 6 (5 days since last) – gained personality: dashing
Day 17 Reached level 7 (3 days since last)
Day 18 Killed by Spice Worm
Day 19 Resurrected a day later for 2960 coins
Day 23 Reached level 8 (6 days since last)
Day 27 Reached level 9 (4 days since last) – gained personality: mighty
Day 31 Reached level 10 (4 days since last)
Day 35 Reached level 11 (4 days since last)
Day 39 Reached level 12 (4 days since last) – gained personality: wild
Day 40 Killed by Insufferable Boar
Day 41 Buried 24 hours after dying
  • Sven the rocky raccoon (Worst. Pet. Ever.)
    • Highest level reached: 8
    • Number of deaths: 1
    • Did not reach Pantheon of Taming
    • Detailed history (click to expand):
Sven's age Event
Day 0 Tamed two days after burying Boo.
Day 1 Reached level 2 (1 day since last)
Day 3 Reached level 3 (2 days since last) – gained personality: frisky
Day 6 Reached level 4 (3 days since last)
Day 10 Reached level 5 (4 days since last)
Day 12 Reached level 6 (2 days since last) – gained personality: truthful
Day 16 Reached level 7 (4 days since last)
Day 22 Reached level 8 (6 days since last)
Day 26 Killed by Evil Overlord (FINALLY!)
Day 28 Buried 60 hours after dying (And good riddance!)
  • Pinky the trojan horse (Best pet yet!)
    • Highest level reached: 74 and counting
    • Number of deaths: 41 and counting
    • Number of times saved by pet medal: 15 and counting
    • Number of times arked: 1
    • Peak rank in Pantheon of Taming: 14
    • Detailed history (click to expand):
Pinky's age Event
Day 0 Tamed 7 hours after burying Sven
Day 1 Reached level 2 (1 day since last)
Day 3 Reached level 3 (2 days since last) – gained personality: frisky (Just like Sven, but I'm okay with it here.)
Day 6 Reached level 4 (3 days since last)
Day 9 Reached level 5 (3 days since last)
Day 9 Killed by Dandy Lion (1st death)
Day 11 Resurrected two and a half days later for 2365 coins (Which seems a bit high for a level 5 resurrection...)
Day 13 Reached level 6 (4 days since last) – gained personality: neat
Day 15 Reached level 7 (2 days since last)
Day 21 Reached level 8 (6 days since last)
Day 25 Reached level 9 (4 days since last) – gained personality: cheerful
Day 25 Killed by Knightmare (2nd death, 16 days since last)
Day 26 Resurrected a day later for 3679 coins (Which seems really low for a level 9 resurrection, I guess canceling out the high level 5 resurrection cost...)
Day 33 Reached level 10 (8 days since last)
Day 37 Reached level 11 (4 days since last)
Day 42 Reached level 12 (5 days since last) – gained personality: vivid
Day 50 Reached level 13 (8 days since last)
Day 53 Killed by Terminator T-34 (3rd death, 28 days since last)
Day 54 Resurrected a day later for 5334 coins
Day 56 Reached level 14 (6 days since last)
Day 63 Reached level 15 (7 days since last) – gained personality: invincible
Day 71 Reached level 16 (8 days since last)
Day 81 Reached level 17 (10 days since last)
Day 88 Killed by Evil Giraffe (4th death, 35 days since last) (So much for being invincible...)
Day 89 Resurrected five hours later for 7231 coins
Day 89 Reached level 18 (8 days since last) – gained personality: slashing
Day 97 Reached level 19 (8 days since last)
Day 106 Reached level 20 (9 days since last)
Day 108 Killed by Philosoraptor (5th death, 20 days since last)
Day 109 Resurrected a day later for 8232 coins
Day 117 Reached level 21 (11 days since last) – gained personality: unbeatable
Day 127 Reached level 22 (10 days since last)
Day 137 Reached level 23 (10 days since last)
Day 147 Killed by Terminator T-34 (6th death, 39 days since last) (Those things really don't like Pinky... and he was supposed to be “unbeatable”...)
Day 148 Resurrected a day later for 9586 coins
Day 154 Reached level 24 (17 days since last) – kept personality: unbeatable (First time I had a personality change level not change the personality.)
Day 163 Killed by Glowing Grue (7th death, 18 days since last) (Seriously!? Two levels in a row? And when he's still supposedly “unbeatable”?!?)
Day 163 Resurrected twelve hours later for 9767 coins
Day 166 Reached level 25 (12 days since last)
Day 180 Killed by Dandy Lion (8th death, 17 days since last) (Three levels in a row? This is ridiculous! And killed for the second time by a Dandy Lion? That's just embarrassing. And for the third time while “unbeatable”? Pathetic.)
Day 180 Resurrected two hours later for 10085 coins (Great. Into the 5-figure revivals...)
Day 182 Reached level 26 (16 days since last)
Day 194 Killed by Worthy Opponent (9th death, 14 days since last) (Four levels in a row. Fourth time while “unbeatable”. This is getting old.)
Day 195 Resurrected a day and a half later for an unknown amount (Altina amazingly did it on her own with no help from me!)
Day 196 Reached level 27 (14 days since last) – gained personality: oldie (Which sounds weak, so maybe he won't die as much as he did when he had strong-sounding personalities?)
Day 210 Reached level 28 (14 days since last) (He survived a level without dying! Amazing!)
Day 216 Killed by Worthy Opponent (10th death, 22 days since last) (The second death in a row from a Worthy Opponent? They don't like Pinky either.)
Day 217 Resurrected sixteen hours later for 11659 coins
Day 224 Reached level 29 (14 days since last)
Day 237 Reached level 30 (13 days since last) – gained personality: long-lived (Highly appropriate!)
Day 250 Reached level 31 (13 days since last)
Day 264 Reached level 32 (14 days since last)
Day 277 Reached level 33 (13 days since last) – gained personality: Retiree (loving these post-30 personalities!)
Day 283 Killed by Game Overlord (11th death, 67 days since last) (First time he's died in 5 levels – impressive!)
Day 283 Resurrected twenty hours later for 13547 coins
Day 293 Reached level 34 (16 days since last)
Day 312 Killed by Ideaboxer (12th death, 29 days since last) (And back to dying every level again...)
Day 312 Resurrected ten hours later for 13785 coins
Day 318 Reached level 35 (25 days since last)
Day 334 Reached level 36 (16 days since last) – kept personality: Retiree (His second repeat.)
Day 338 Killed by Spanish Inquisitor (13th death, 26 days since last) (At least it was two levels apart this time.)
Day 338 Resurrected ten hours later for 14846 coins
Day 347 Saved by pet medal (1st pet medal save, nearly killed by Fleasaur)
Day 349 Reached level 37 (15 days since last)
Day 366 Reached level 38 (15 days since last) – Happy 1st birthday Pinky!
Day 371 Killed by Early Bird (14th death, 33 days since last) (Another two levels...)
Day 372 Resurrected a day later for 15583 coins
Day 386 Reached level 39 (20 days since last) – regained personality: Long-lived (Again, but acceptable.)
Day 407 Reached level 40 (21 days since last)
Day 427 Reached level 41 (20 days since last)
Day 444 Killed by Metro Gnome (15th death, 73 days since last) (Three levels this time!)
Day 445 Resurrected a day later for 16870 coins
Day 447 Reached level 42 (20 days since last) – personality: oldie (First non-retiree/long-lived personality since before level 30!)
Day 467 Reached level 43 (20 days since last)
Day 475 Saved by pet medal (2nd pet medal save, nearly killed by Dead Horse)
Day 487 Reached level 44 (20 days since last)
Day 494 Killed by Biological Nightmare (16th death, 50 days since last) (Another three levels!)
Day 495 Resurrected 36 hours later for 18001 coins
Day 506 Reached level 45 (19 days since last) – personality: oldie (The first personality he has had 3 times.)
Day 527 Reached level 46 (21 days since last)
Day 531 Killed by Worthy Opponent (17th death, 37 days since last) (Third death from a Worthy Opponent – that makes nearly 20% of Pinky's deaths from Worthy Opponents. I think we've found his nemesis...)
Day 531 Resurrected 17 hours later for 18489 coins
Day 550 Killed by Ballpoint Penguin (18th death, 19 days since last) (Two deaths in one level? Really? That's just a jerk move.)
Day 552 Resurrected 45 hours later for 19909 coins (Nearly 20k per rez now. Not sure why this one was 1420 coins higher than my last rez at this level. That seems like a significant amount. Also, this was by far the longest I took to rez a pet.)
Day 565 Reached level 47 (38 days since last) (Seriously. 38. Longest level before that: 25 days for level 35. Ridiculous.)
Day 569 Saved by pet medal (3rd pet medal save, nearly killed by Misfortune Teller)
Day 579 Killed by Knightmare (19th death, 29 days since last) (Second death from a Knightmare.)
Day 579 Resurrected 11 hours later for 19060 coins (850 coins less than my last resurrection which was a level lower? Do resurrections cost more the longer it's been since the pet died? Hmmm...)
Day 585 Reached level 48 (20 days since last) – personality: retiree (Third time he's gotten that...)
Day 589 Saved by pet medal (4th pet medal save, nearly killed by Technical Fowl) (Two pet medal saves in 20 days? That seems unusual.)
Day 599 Killed by Postman of the Apocalypse (20th death, 20 days since last)
Day 600 Resurrected 24 hours later for 19343 coins (Again, less than that wicked expensive level 46 rez.)
Day 612 Reached level 49 (27 days since last)
Day 633 Killed by Notary of Death (21st death, 34 days since last)
Day 633 Resurrected 7 hours later for 19744 coins (Still less than that level 46 rez.)
Day 639 Saved by pet medal (5th pet medal save, nearly killed by Undead Battle Hamster) (Three pet medal saves in 70 days now? Maybe the pet medal was just defective the first 11 months Pinky had it when it only saved him twice...)
Day 640 Reached level 50 (28 days since last)
Day 645 Saved by pet medal (6th pet medal save, nearly killed by Major Problem) (Two saves in 6 days?!? This medal is suddenly useful!)
Day 654 Killed by Chocolate Moose (22nd death, 21 days since last)
Day 654 Resurrected 8 hours later for 20015 coins (Finally slightly higher than that level 46 rez.)
Day 666 Reached level 51 (26 days since last) – personality: oldie (The first personality he has had 4 times.)
Day 688 Killed by Godville Administrator (23rd death, 34 days since last)
Day 688 Resurrected 14 hours later for 21024 coins
Day 689 Reached level 52 (23 days since last)
Day 708 Killed by Lag Monster (24th death, 20 days since last)
Day 708 Resurrected 2 hours later for 21215 coins
Day 714 Reached level 53 (25 days since last)
Day 729 Killed by Capitalist Overlord (25th death, 21 days since last)
Day 730 Resurrected 30 hours later for 21203 coins
Day 741 Reached level 54 (27 days since last) – personality: long-lived (Third time.)
Day 768 Saved by pet medal (7th pet medal save, nearly killed by Master of Disaster)
Day 769 Reached level 55 (28 days since last)
Day 774 Killed by Blue Ray (26th death, 45 days since last)
Day 775 Resurrected 30 hours later for an unknown amount (Altina very impressively raised this amount on her own!)
Day 800 Killed by Ravenous Bugblatter Beast (27th death, 26 days since last)
Day 801 Resurrected 18 hours later for an unknown amount (Altina rezzed Pinky while I was away, though I dungeoned to make sure she had more than enough)
Day 804 Reached level 56 (35 days since last) – personality: toothless (occurred on a non-multiple of 3?)
Day 832 Saved by pet medal (8th pet medal save, nearly killed by Croquet Mullet)
Day 833 Reached level 57 (29 days since last) – personality: retiree
Day 840 Killed by Evil Twin (28th death, 40 days since last)
Day 840 Resurrected 6 hours later for 22891 coins (got advanced level up message – which apparently did nothing...)
Day 869 Killed by Holy Mass Murderer (29th death, 29 days since last)
Day 869 Resurrected 5 1/2 hours later for 22929 coins (got immediate level up message)
Day 869 Reached level 58 (36 days since last) – personality: toothless
Day 877 Saved by pet medal (9th pet medal save, nearly killed by Litterbug)
Day 882 Saved by pet medal (10th pet medal save, nearly killed by Continental Drifter) (Two saves in five days – that's pretty sweet!)
Day 893 Saved by pet medal (11th pet medal save, nearly killed by Shadow of a Doubt) (Pinky REALLY likes that pet medal recently...)
Day 895 Reached level 59 (26 days since last) – personality: grand
Day 898 Killed by Godvillain (30th death, 29 days since last)
Day 899 Resurrected 15 1/2 hours later for 24013 coins
Day 924 Reached level 60 (29 days since last) – personality: toothless
Day 932 Killed by Waking Nightmare (31st death, 34 days since last)
Day 932 Resurrected 8 1/2 hours later for 24111 coins
Day 944 Reached level 61 (20 days since last) – personality: oldie
Day 956 Killed by Henforcer (32nd death, 24 days since last)
Day 957 Resurrected 18 hours later for 24546 coins
Day 977 Reached level 62 (33 days since last) – personality: steady
Day 1002 Saved by pet medal (12th pet medal save, nearly killed by Godvilla)
Day 1003 Killed by Thesaurus Rex (33rd death, 47 days since last)
Day 1003 Resurrected 6 1/2 hours later for 25056 coins (got immediate level up message)
Day 1003 Reached level 63 (26 days since last) – personality: ancient
Day 1034 Killed by Dandy Lion (34th death, 31 days since last)
Day 1035 Resurrected 34 hours later for 25237 coins
Day 1036 Reached level 64 (32 days since last) – personality: toothless (humorously leveled up immeidately after the rez without a level up bonus)
Day 1061 Arked Pinky
Day 1061 (cont’d) De-arked Pinky (after 1162 days)
Day 1070, 7:33 AM Level 65 (35 days since last not including arked time, 1197 days including it) – personality: ancient
Day 1097, 11:14 PM Level 66 (27 days, 15 hours, 41 minutes since last) – personality: oldie
Day 1118, 11:48 AM Killed by Dandy Lion (35th death, 82 days since last not including arked time, 1246 days including it)
Day 1118, 2:11 PM Resurrected 2 hours, 23 minutes later for 26513 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 1136, 5:09 PM Killed by Space Invader (36th death, 18 days since last)
Day 1136, 8:06 PM Resurrected 2 hours, 57 minutes later for 25527 coins (got immediate level up message)
Day 1136, 8:06 PM Level 67 (38 days, 20 hours, 52 minutes since last) – personality: eternal
Day 1160, 2:21 AM Saved by pet medal (13th pet medal save, nearly killed by Semi-demi-god)
Day 1167, 11:31 AM Level 68 (30 days, 15 hours, 25 minutes since last) – personality: long-lived
Day 1179, 2:05 PM Killed by Double Dragon (37th death, 43 days since last)
Day 1179, 4:42 PM Resurrected 2 hours, 37 minutes later for 27347 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 1182, 11:17 AM Saved by pet medal (14th pet medal save, nearly killed by Alpha Centaur)
Day 1190, 5:18 PM Level 69 (23 days, 5 hours, 47 minutes since last) – personality: retiree
Day 1220, 7:31 AM Level 70 (29 days, 14 hours, 13 minutes since last) – personality: crumbly
Day 1255, 3:40 PM Saved by pet medal (15th pet medal save, nearly killed by Spice Worm)
Day 1266, 4:21 AM Level 71 (45 days, 20 hours, 50 minutes since last) – personality: oldie
Day 1285, 12:15 AM Killed by Angel of Debt (38th death, 106 days since last)
Day 1285, 6:55 AM Resurrected 6 hours, 40 minutes later for 28694 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 1293, 2:03 AM Level 72 (26 days, 21 hours, 42 minutes since last) – personality: long-lived
Day 1309, 12:11 PM Killed by Epic Flailer (39th death, 24 days since last)
Day 1310, 6:26 AM Resurrected 18 hours, 15 minutes later for 28931 coins
Day 1334, 2:50 PM Level 73 (41 days, 12 hours, 47 minutes since last) – personality: crumbly
Day 1343, 7:26 PM Killed by Abracadaver (40th death, 34 days since last)
Day 1344, 6:50 AM Resurrected 11 hours, 24 minutes later for 29402 coins
Day 1368, 4:59 AM Level 74 (33 days, 14 hours, 9 minutes since last) – personality: eternal
Day 1371, 12:10 PM Killed by Godville Administrator (41st death, 28 days since last)
Day 1372, 1:55 AM Resurrected 13 hours, 45 minutes later for ??? coins
  • Krampus the satan claus (Sweet limited time pet!)
    • Highest level reached: 30 and counting
    • Number of deaths: 1 and counting
    • Number of times saved by pet medal: 0 and counting
    • Number of times arked: 1
    • Not ranked in Pantheon of Taming because of Pinky in ark
    • Detailed history (click to expand):
Krampus's age Event
Day 0, 7:28 PM Tamed 12 hours after arking Pinky
Day 1, 8:17 PM Reached level 2 (1 day, 49 minutes since last) – personality: clumsy
Day 3, 9:07 PM Reached level 3 (2 days, 50 minutes since last) – personality: droller
Day 5, 7:10 AM Reached level 4 (1 day, 10 hours, 3 minutes since last) – personality: nimble
Day 8, 3:13 AM Reached level 5 (2 days, 20 hours, 3 minutes since last) – personality: nimble
Day 12, 1:09 PM Reached level 6 (4 days, 9 hours, 56 minutes since last) – personality: scary
Day 17, 5:16 PM Reached level 7 (5 days, 4 hours, 7 minutes since last) – personality: cheerful
Day 23, 10:22 AM Reached level 8 (5 days, 17 hours, 6 minutes since last) – personality: mighty
Day 30, 7:08 AM Reached level 9 (6 days, 20 hours, 46 minutes since last) – personality: mighty
Day 38, 12:43 AM Reached level 10 (7 days, 17 hours, 35 minutes since last) – personality: cheerful
Day 42, 11:26 AM Reached level 11 (4 days, 10 hours, 43 minutes since last) – personality: perilous
Day 47, 6:59 PM Reached level 12 (5 days, 7 hours, 33 minutes since last) – personality: wild
Day 52, 10:35 PM Reached level 13 (5 days, 3 hours, 36 minutes since last) – personality: garish
Day 60, 3:19 AM Reached level 14 (7 days, 4 hours, 44 minutes since last) – personality: brutal
Day 68, 10:53 AM Reached level 15 (8 days, 7 hours, 34 minutes since last) – personality: wild
Day 77, 9:08 PM Reached level 16 (9 days, 10 hours, 15 minutes since last) – personality: tenacious
Day 86, 4:42 PM Reached level 17 (8 days, 19 hours, 34 minutes since last) – personality: unique
Day 97, 3:03 PM Reached level 18 (10 days, 22 hours, 21 minutes since last) – personality: slashing
Day 105, 3:21 PM Reached level 19 (8 days, 18 minutes since last) – personality: unique
Day 114, 10:23 PM Reached level 20 (9 days, 7 hours, 2 minutes since last) – personality: unique
Day 127, 6:21 PM Reached level 21 (12 days, 19 hours, 58 minutes since last) – personality: unique
Day 139, 2:16 AM Reached level 22 (11 days, 7 hours, 55 minutes since last) – personality: indomitable
Day 150, 6:51 PM Reached level 23 (11 days, 16 hours, 35 minutes since last) – personality: unique
Day 164, 4:27 PM Reached level 24 (13 days, 21 hours, 36 minutes since last) – personality: slashing
Day 175, 5:37 PM Reached level 25 (11 days, 1 hour, 10 minutes since last) – personality: unique
Day 189, 9:16 AM Reached level 26 (13 days, 15 hours, 39 minutes since last) – personality: infernal
Day 191, 9:13 PM Killed by Resubmitted Monster (1st death)
Day 191, 11:57 PM Resurrected 2 hours, 44 minutes later for 10400 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 199, 12:41 AM Reached level 27 (9 days, 15 hours, 25 minutes since last) – personality: unique
Day 211, 7:58 PM Reached level 28 (12 days, 19 hours, 17 minutes since last) – personality: infernal
Day 226, 1:09 PM Reached level 29 (14 days, 17 hours, 11 minutes since last) – personality: infernal
Day 239, 10:16 PM Reached level 30 (13 days, 9 hours, 7 minutes since last) – personality: tenacious
Day 239, 11:32 PM Arked Krampus
  • Ericslayer the dreaded gazebo (Awful pet.)
    • Highest level reached: 30 and counting
    • Number of deaths: 3 and counting
    • Number of times saved by pet medal: 1 and counting
    • Number of times arked: 1
    • Not ranked in Pantheon of Taming because of Pinky in ark
    • Detailed history (click to expand):
Ericslayer's age Event
Day 0, 6:42 PM Tamed 19 hours, 10 minutes after arking Krampus
Day 1, 7:15 PM Level 2 (1 day, 33 minutes since last) – personality: shaggy
Day 3, 4:45 PM Level 3 (1 day, 21 hours, 30 minutes since last) – personality: droller
Day 6, 9:50 AM Level 4 (2 days, 17 hours, 5 minutes since last) – personality: snoopy
Day 8, 9:59 PM Level 5 (2 days, 12 hours, 9 minutes since last) – personality: snoopy
Day ??, ?:?? AM Level 6 (Unknown since last due to no third eye entry) – personality: neat
Day 14, 1:10 PM Level 7 (Unknown since last as prior never appeared in third eye) – personality: wild
Day 17, 8:18 AM Killed by Pungeon Master (1st death)
Day 17, 11:55 AM Resurrected 3 hours, 37 minutes later for ??? coins (wasn't around for rez, cost not in third eye entry) (got immediate level up message)
Day 17, 11:55 AM Level 8 (2 days, 22 hours, 45 minutes) – personality: mighty
Day 23, 3:49 AM Level 9 (5 days, 15 hours, 54 minutes) – personality: mighty
Day 27, 4:42 AM Level 10 (4 days, 53 minutes) – personality: garish
Day 33, 9:33 AM Level 11 (6 days, 4 hours, 51 minutes) – personality: vivid
Day 38, 7:14 PM Level 12 (5 days, 19 hours, 41 minutes) – personality: brutal
Day 46, 11:52 AM Level 13 (7 days, 16 hours, 38 minutes) – personality: vivid
Day 52, 3:53 PM Level 14 (6 days, 4 hours, 1 minute) – personality: perilous
Day 59, 6: 53 PM Level 15 (7 days, 3 hours) – personality: swanky
Day 66, 10:35 AM Level 16 (6 days, 15 hours, 42 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 73, 2:29 PM Level 17 (7 days, 3 hours, 54 minutes) – personality: superior
Day 83, 6:38 PM Level 18 (10 days, 4 hours, 9 minutes) – personality: unique
Day 94, 12:17 AM Level 19 (10 days, 5 hours, 39 minutes) – personality: superior
Day 105, 4:27 AM Level 20 (11 days, 4 hours, 10 minutes) – personality: unique
Day 109, 5:29 PM Killed by Corporate Giant (2nd death, 92 days since last)
Day 109, 10:24 PM Resurrected 4 hours, 55 minutes later for 8035 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 112, 7:21 PM Level 21 (7 days, 14 hours, 54 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 122, 6:59 PM Level 22 (9 days, 23 hours, 38 minutes) – personality: unique
Day 135, 9:12 PM Level 23 (13 days, 2 hours, 13 minutes) – personality: great
Day 140, 2:41 AM Saved by pet medal (1st pet medal save, nearly killed by Vengeful Mole)
Day 147, 1:21 AM Level 24 (11 days, 4 hours, 9 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 157, 6:09 PM Level 25 (10 days, 6 hours, 48 minutes) – personality: superb
Day 160, 6:21 AM Killed by Mortal Tomcat (3rd death, 51 days since last)
Day 160, 9:17 AM Resurrected 2 hours, 56 minutes later for 10289 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 165, 12:05 AM Level 26 (7 days, 5 hours, 56 minutes) – personality: great
Day 176, 6:20 AM Level 27 (11 days, 6 hours, 15 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 191, 2:10 AM Level 28 (14 days, 19 hours, 50 minutes) – personality: superb
Day 206, 1:02 PM Level 29 (15 days, 10 hours, 52 minutes) – personality: slashing
Day 219, 12:49 PM Level 30 (12 days, 23 hours, 47 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 220, 1:18 PM Arked Ericslayer (over 24 hours after clicking to put him in the ark...)
  • Anitla the inner demon (Very fun pet!)
    • Highest level reached: 30 and counting
    • Number of deaths: 5 and counting
    • Number of times saved by pet medal: 2 and counting
    • Number of times arked: 1
    • Not ranked in Pantheon of Taming because of Pinky in ark
    • Detailed history (click to expand):
Anitla's age Event
Day 0, 8:49 AM Tamed 2 days, 19 hours, 31 minutes after arking Ericslayer
Day 1, 10:31 AM Level 2 (1 day, 1 hour, 42 minutes) – personality: droller
Day 2, 6:23 PM Level 3 (1 day, 7 hours, 52 minutes) – personality: clumsy
Day 4, 11:28 AM Level 4 (1 day, 17 hours, 5 minutes) – personality: nimble
Day 7, 7:35 PM Level 5 (3 days, 8 hours, 7 minutes) – personality: harsh
Day 10, 10:32 AM Level 6 (2 days, 14 hours, 57 minutes) – personality: surly
Day 15, 5:30 AM Level 7 (4 days, 18 hours, 58 minutes) – personality: wild
Day 19, 5:37 AM Killed by Nomad Scientist (1st death)
Day 19, 6:36 AM Resurrected 59 minutes later for 2903 coins (got immediate level up message)
Day 19, 6:36 AM Level 8 (4 days, 1 hour, 36 minutes) – personality: perilous
Day 23, 12:27 AM Level 9 (3 days, 17 hour, 51 minutes) – personality: garish
Day 28, 4:51 AM Level 10 (5 days, 4 hour, 24 minutes) – personality: cheerful
Day 36, 5:18 AM Level 11 (8 days, 27 minutes) – personality: wild
Day 43, 2:39 AM Level 12 (6 days, 21 hours, 21 minutes) – personality: garish
Day 48, 8:13 AM Level 13 (5 days, 5 hours, 34 minutes) – personality: garish
Day 54, 12:24 PM Level 14 (6 days, 4 hours, 11 minutes) – personality: wild
Day 61, 1:09 AM Saved by pet medal (1st pet medal save, nearly killed by Life Insurance Salesman)
Day 62, 9:05 AM Level 15 (5 days, 20 hours, 41 minutes) – personality: cheerful
Day 68, 8:20 PM Level 16 (6 days, 11 hours, 15 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 78, 2:05 AM Level 17 (9 days, 5 hours, 45 minutes) – personality: infernal
Day 86, 5:53 AM Level 18 (8 days, 15 hours, 48 minutes) – personality: superb
Day 94, 9:19 PM Killed by Undead Philosoraptor (2nd death, 75 days since last)
Day 94, 10:46 PM Resurrected 1 hour, 27 minutes later for 7398 coins (got immediate level up message)
Day 94, 10:46 PM Level 19 (8 days, 16 hours, 53 minutes) – personality: slashing
Day 103, 1:49 PM Level 20 (8 days, 15 hours, 3 minutes) – personality: superior
Day 112, 9:51 PM Level 21 (9 days, 8 hours, 2 minutes) – personality: slashing
Day 120, 5:33 AM Killed by Time Consumer (3rd death, 26 days since last)
Day 120, 3:50 PM Resurrected 10 hours, 17 minutes later for 8868 coins
Day 121, 11:38 PM Level 22 (9 days, 1 hour, 47 minutes) – personality: infernal
Day 131, 1:18 PM Level 23 (9 days, 13 hours, 40 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 146, 2:16 AM Level 24 (14 days, 12 hours, 58 minutes) – personality: unique
Day 156, 3:51 PM Level 25 (10 days, 13 hours, 35 minutes) – personality: unique
Day 168, 3:32 AM Level 26 (11 days, 11 hours, 41 minutes) – personality: superb
Day 175, 2:24 AM Killed by Question Marksman (4th death, 55 days since last)
Day 175, 7:57 AM Resurrected 5 hours, 33 minutes later for 10714 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 178, 9:44 AM Level 27 (10 days, 6 hours, 14 minutes) – personality: unique
Day 178, 6:54 PM Saved by pet medal (2nd pet medal save, nearly killed by Rain-Bow Archer)
Day 190, 5:14 PM Level 28 (11 days, 22 hours, 20 minutes) – personality: great
Day 205, 8:54 PM Level 29 (15 days, 3 hours, 40 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 218, 2:28 AM Killed by Mischieftain (5th death, 43 days since last)
Day 218, 1:53 PM Resurrected 11 hours, 25 minutes later for 11681 coins
Day 219, 2:55 PM Level 30 (13 days, 18 hours, 1 minute) – personality: unique
Day 219, 11:05 PM Arked Anitla
  • Dreadcow the terror bull (Unexpectedly awesome pet!)
    • Highest level reached: 30 and counting
    • Number of deaths: 5 and counting
    • Number of times saved by pet medal: 4 and counting
    • Number of times arked: 1
    • Not ranked in Pantheon of Taming because of Pinky in ark
    • Detailed history (click to expand):
Dreadcow’s age Event
Day 0, 7:34 PM Tamed 2 days, 20 hours, 29 minutes after arking Anitla
Day 1, 8:10 PM Level 2 (1 day, 36 minutes) – personality: lazy
Day 3, 5:32 PM Level 3 (1 day, 21 hours, 22 minutes) – personality: droller
Day 6, 10:33 AM Level 4 (2 days, 17 hours, 1 minute) – personality: dashing
Day 9, 11:00 PM Level 5 (3 days, 12 hours, 27 minutes) – personality: neat
Day 10, 1:41 PM Killed by Evil Twin (1st death)
Day 10, 3:42 PM Resurrected 2 hours, 1 minute later for 2064 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 12, 9:12 AM Level 6 (2 days, 10 hours, 12 minutes) – personality: fearsome
Day 17, 1:38 PM Level 7 (5 days, 4 hours, 26 minutes) – personality: garish
Day 23, 4:26 PM Level 8 (6 days, 2 hours, 48 minutes) – personality: cheerful
Day 28, 8:29 AM Level 9 (4 days, 16 hours, 3 minutes) – personality: brutal
Day 29, 1:13 PM Killed by Master of Disaster (2nd death, 19 days since last)
Day 29, 2:44 PM Resurrected 1 hour, 33 minutes later for 3892 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 31, 7:59 PM Level 10 (3 days, 11 hours, 30 minutes) – personality: splendid
Day 36, 3:29 PM Level 11 (4 days, 19 hours, 30 minutes) – personality: brutal
Day 43, 1:53 PM Level 12 (6 days, 22 hours, 24 minutes) – personality: cheerful
Day 48, 11:11 PM Level 13 (5 days, 9 hours, 18 minutes) – personality: mighty
Day 56, 12:21 PM Level 14 (7 days, 13 hours, 10 minutes) – personality: mighty
Day 62, 10:59 PM Level 15 (6 days, 10 hours, 38 minutes) – personality: garish
Day 69, 10:14 AM Level 16 (6 days, 11 hours, 15 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 72, 12:15 AM Saved by pet medal (1st pet medal save, nearly killed by Brassquatch)
Day 76, 8:01 PM Level 17 (7 days, 9 hours, 47 minutes) – personality: unique
Day 78, 7:19 PM Saved by pet medal (2nd pet medal save, nearly killed by Spice Worm)
Day 87, 8:38 AM Level 18 (10 days, 12 hours, 37 minutes) – personality: infernal
Day 96, 11:52 AM Level 19 (9 days, 3 hours, 14 minutes) – personality: superior
Day 107, 6:51 AM Level 20 (10 days, 6 hours, 59 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 111, 5:14 AM Killed by Worthy Opponent (3rd death, 82 days since last)
Day 111, 11:06 AM Resurrected 5 hours, 52 minutes later for 8185 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 114, 9:55 PM Level 21 (7 days, 15 hours, 4 minutes) – personality: superb
Day 120, 4:09 PM Saved by pet medal (3rd pet medal save, nearly killed by Grayscaled Dragon)
Day 124, 1:22 PM Level 22 (9 days, 15 hours, 27 minutes) – personality: unique
Day 134, 11:35 PM Level 23 (10 days, 10 hours, 13 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 145, 5:34 AM Level 24 (10 days, 5 hours, 59 minutes) – personality: slashing
Day 155, 2:46 PM Level 25 (10 days, 9 hours, 12 minutes) – personality: superb
Day 162, 1:39 PM Killed by Enforcement Droid 209 (4th death, 51 days since last)
Day 162, 5:37M Resurrected 3 hours, 58 minutes later for 10320 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 165, 12:14 AM Level 26 (9 days, 9 hours, 26 minutes) – personality: tenacious
Day 180, 5:39 AM Level 27 (15 days, 5 hours, 25 minutes) – personality: tenacious
Day 182, 5:10 PM Saved by pet medal (4th pet medal save, nearly killed by Synthetic Organism)
Day 194, 7:09 AM Level 28 (14 days, 1 hour, 20 minutes) – personality: indomitable
Day 207, 2:21 AM Level 29 (12 days, 19 hours, 12 minutes) – personality: tenacious
Day 221, 4:37 AM Killed by Stereotypical Villain (5th death, 110 days since last)
Day 221, 6:00 AM Resurrected 1 hours, 23 minutes later for 11672 coins (got advanced level up message)
Day 221, 6:00 AM Level 30 (14 days, 3 hours, 39 minutes) – personality: tenacious
Day 221, 6:14 AM Arked Dreadcow
  • Synonodon the thesaurus rex (Started off boring, but became an unexpectedly amazing pet!)
    • Highest level reached: 30 and counting
    • Number of deaths: 0 and counting
    • Number of times saved by pet medal: 1 and counting
    • Number of times arked: 1
    • Not ranked in Pantheon of Taming because of Pinky in ark
    • Detailed history (click to expand):
Synonodon’s age Event
Day 0, 7:34 PM Tamed 2 days, 20 hours, 29 minutes after arking Anitla
Day 1, 10:06 AM Level 2 (1 days, 1 hour, 16 minutes) – personality: clumsy
Day 2, 6:02 AM Level 3 (19 hours, 56 minutes) – personality: bustler
Day 5, 3:00 AM Level 4 (2 days, 20 hours, 58 minutes) – personality: harsh
Day 8, 3:03 PM Level 5 (3 days, 12 hours, 3 minutes) – personality: truthful
Day 11, 4:09 AM Level 6 (2 days, 13 hours, 6 minutes) – personality: fearsome
Day 16, 6:02 AM Level 7 (5 days, 1 hour, 53 minutes) – personality: brutal
Day 21, 10:53 AM Level 8 (5 days, 4 hours, 51 minutes) – personality: vigorous
Day 26, 8:23 AM Level 9 (4 days, 21 hours, 30 minutes) – personality: perilous
Day 30, 12:32 PM Level 10 (4 days, 4 hours, 9 minutes) – personality: cheerful
Day 36, 11:23 AM Level 11 (5 days, 22 hours, 51 minutes) – personality: wild
Day 43, 4:48 AM Level 12 (6 days, 17 hours, 25 minutes) – personality: perilous
Day 48, 9:08 AM Level 13 (5 days, 3 hours, 20 minutes) – personality: mighty
Day 53, 9:27 PM Level 14 (5 days, 12 hours, 19 minutes) – personality: perilous
Day 64, 8:24 PM Level 15 (10 days, 22 hours, 57 minutes) – personality: vigorous
Day 74, 9:17 PM Level 16 (10 days, 53 minutes) – personality: unique
Day 85, 2:42 PM Level 17 (10 days, 17 hours, 25 minutes) – personality: superb
Day 91, 1:23 AM Level 18 (5 days, 10 hours, 41 minutes) – personality: indomitable
Day 102, 2:40 AM Level 19 (9 days, 1 hour, 17 minutes) – personality: unbeatable
Day 115, 7:40 AM Level 20 (13 days, 5 hours) – personality: indomitable
Day 123, 7:01 PM Level 21 (8 days, 11 hours, 21 minutes) – personality: indomitable
Day 132, 5:04 AM Level 22 (8 days, 10 hours, 3 minutes) – personality: unique
Day 144, 11:57 AM Level 23 (12 days, 6 hours, 53 minutes) – personality: indomitable
Day 154, 7:48 AM Level 24 (9 days, 19 hours, 51 minutes) – personality: tenacious
Day 166, 12:11 AM Level 25 (11 days, 16 hours, 23 minutes) – personality: superior
Day 176, 1:25 PM Level 26 (10 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes) – personality: superb
Day 194, 10:23 PM Level 27 (18 days, 8 hours, 58 minutes) – personality: infernal
Day 207, 4:50 PM Level 28 (12 days, 18 hours, 27 minutes) – personality: tenacious
Day 210, 12:41 AM Saved by pet medal (1st pet medal save, nearly killed by Enemy of the People)
Day 224, 1:04 AM Level 29 (16 days, 8 hours, 14 minutes) – personality: superior
Day 238, 9:27 AM Level 30 (14 days, 8 hours, 23 minutes) – personality: superior
Day 238, 11:26 AM Arked Synonodon

Money

Most money ever held
  • Most money ever held: 100638 coins
Event Entry
Highest selling lock of hair (outside Tradeburg, in this case Los Adminos) 07:13: I can't think of any use for the lock of ***********'s hair, but I sure can think of a good use for the 18732 coins the trader gave me for it. A very beery use.
Highest selling lock of hair (in Tradeburg, with trade skill) 02:51: The merchant was bamboozled by my entrepreneurial flair as I put my “rickrolling” skill into action. I managed to sell my lock of **************'s hair for the handsome sum of 27236 coins and he even threw in a one-leaf clover as a sweetener!
Highest selling piece of old equipment (a +71 body in Godville) 10:44: The trader and I repeatedly bought and sold my piece of old equipment, outbidding each other until I found myself one item down and 3784 coins up.
Highest selling golden brick (in Tradeburg) 05:46: The trader told me that playing dumb wouldn't help me get a good price for my golden brick. After wasting half an hour using diagrams and sing-along songs to try to help me understand, he gave up and tearfully handed over 4958 coins.
Highest selling priceless gift (in Tradeburg) 04:22: The trader looked at my priceless gift and said, “Sweet! Now I've got the whole set! Worth every one of these 17129 coins”.
Highest selling really priceless gift (in Tradeburg) 07:26: The trader took the really priceless gift off my hands for 25075 coins, or “beer tokens”, as I like to call them.
Highest selling item (outside of locks, bricks, ears, equipment, priceless gifts, etc.) 03:22: The price of the praystation here is ridiculous, it was only 2718 coins. But I'm a ridiculous person.
Most money spent upgrading a skill, post-temple 05:43: My “intimate tickling” skill has been upgraded to level 119! Paid 59899 coins for the training.
Most money spent upgrading a skill, pre-temple (had no gp to melt, so I missed out on 2 1/2 bricks) 05:50: Met a wandering master. In exchange for 7531 gold coins, he helped me train my “slap of the whale” skill to level 14. Cool!
Second most money spent upgrading a skill, pre-temple (happened while I was asleep) 02:31: My “powerful sneeze” skill has been upgraded to level 14! Paid 7355 coins for the training.
Third most money spent upgrading a skill, pre-temple (which I infuriatingly missed by 6 minutes) 02:33: Met a wandering master. In exchange for 7348 gold coins, he trained me in my “inept singing” skill to level 14. Cool!
Fourth most money spent upgrading a skill, pre-temple (no joke, Altina loved paying to upgrade skills to level 14...) 12:32: My “shiny heels” skill has been upgraded to level 14! Paid 7340 coins for the training.
Most money found at my temple's construction site, pre-temple (occurred at 98.2% completion) 07:32: Pilgrims paid me 3409 gold coins to enter my temple. It seems they don't care about the unfinished construction.
Most money spent on prayers 08:54: Almighty god, reveal your grace to me! Do not leave this miserable wretch to suffer alone. I offer this — 21491 gold coins.
Least money spent on prayers 10:29: Almighty, I prayed and spent 1 gold coin on you... Why don't you pray and spend money on me?
Second to least money spent on prayers 08:41: Spent many long hours praying. Endowed the temple with 2 coins.
Favorite amount of money spent on prayers 01:42: Take the going sacrifice rate, adjust for “wrath of deity” offset, multiply it by the sins factor... Erm... Too much math. Just take these 6666 gold coins, Almighty.

Duels

  • Highest rank in Pantheon of Gladiatorship: 292 (with a win/loss record of 111/15)
  • Arena 1.0 record: 14/5
  • Arena 2.0 record: 0/0
  • Skirmish record: 99/15
  • Gold bricks won in skirmishes, pre-temple (as this doesn't happen post-temple): 12 out of 31 (38.7% of the wins)
  • Pieces of equipment won in skirmishes: 12 (12.1% of the wins)
  • Gold bricks lost in skirmishes: 0 – never happened to me!
  • Pieces of equipment lost in skirmishes: 4 (26.7% of the losses)
  • Longest duel: 1 hour and 4 minutes, 81 turns (a skirmish, won)
  • Shortest duel: 6 minutes, 5 turns (arena match, won)
  • Longest time between skirmishes: 32 days
  • Shortest time between skirmishes: 2 days
  • Longest winning streak: 32 duels (2nd best – 19, 3rd best – 15)
  • Longest losing streak: 3 duels (2 in a row one other time)
  • Biggest level jump from equipment won in a skirmish: from a +42 weapon to a +55 weapon (2nd best – +83 weapon to a +91 weapon)
  • Best loot won from a skirmish: 06:04: Notes from the battlefield: *********** was defeated. Altina got 16105 gold coins. Altina became the owner of a great rag: laughing stockings. Altina put a lock of ***********'s hair into her bag.
  • Worst loot won from a skirmish: 05:31: Notes from the battlefield: ********* was defeated. Altina now has a lock of *********' hair at her disposal. (Twice gotten nothing but a lock from a skirmish)
  • Worst loot lost from a skirmish: 01:26: Notes from the battlefield: Altina is defeated. ****** got 8800 coins. ****** now has a recovery disk, a recovery disk, a potential energy drink, a branch from an iron tree, some behemoth-flavored tea, an empty save slot, a 2D hologram and a lock of Altina's hair at his disposal.
  • Most money won at the arena: 06:22: Notes from the arena: Despite his creator doing a perfect job of watching over him, ************* decides to lose the battle yet again. The winner receives a gold brick and 4865 coins.
  • Least money won at the arena: 02:42: Notes from the arena: ******** is unconscious. Altina successfully fulfilled the goal of praising her deity! The winner got richer by 2 coins and a golden brick.
  • Best items found by simply going to the arena: 07:26: Scratched under my armor and found a table of elementals, an expired marriage license, and a quest randomizer. Wow, there was also a golden brick! Maybe I don't need to fight anymore?

Sparring Fights

Note: all sparring fights are based on no-influence fights.

  • Sparring record: 122/143
  • Coin flip record in ties: 0/1 (against GodMe oh my )
  • Longest losing streak: 11 in a row (during a stretch which I only got 1 win in 21 matches...)
  • Longest winning streak: 8 in a row
  • Most sparring fights in one day: 6
  • Closest win: beat opponent while I had 2 hp left (against GodCatGhost )
  • Closest loss: beaten while opponent had 2 hp left (against GodMarianela )
  • Biggest win: beat opponent while I had 95 hp left (against GodZoson )
  • Biggest loss: beaten while opponent had 92 hp left (despite having gotten first strike and had a skill steal health, against GodDestinyville )
  • First match: 1/18/12
  • Coach 3rd rank (10 spars): 1/27/12 (9 days)
  • Coach 2nd rank (50 spars): 2/16/12 (29 days)
  • 100 spars: 7/24/12 (188 days)
  • Coach 1st rank (200 spars): 11/29/12 (316 days) (4th person ever in Godville to earn this achievement!)

Melting History

  • Total bricks melted: 371
    • Totals 1,113,000 coins melted
    • Totals 9,275% godpower successfully spent melting
    • Assuming 1 in 4 attempts were successful (I don't have exact numbers), that's 37,100% godpower
  • Coolest melt: had exactly 3000 coins and melted it on one try, leaving me with nothing
  • Most melts via encourages in one day: 9
  • Most encourages used to melt a single golden brick: 14 (twice)
  • Most days gone without successfully melting a brick despite having multiple opportunities to melt each day and using at least two encourages at each opportunity: 4
  • Most bold items changed to gold bricks at once: 6 (via an alchemical transmuter when I only had six bold items total besides the alchemical transmuter)

Temple Completion

  • Rank in Pantheon of Templehood: 1457
  • Number of days needed to complete temple: 320 (10 1/2 months)
  • Level when completed: 48
  • Guild rank when completed: matriarch
  • Last ten bricks (which the game practically threw at me all in a 12 hour span): an absurdly fast quest, a fast melt, two from a box with a question mark (I hadn’t gotten two bricks from an activatable item since my second week playing the game some ten months ago…), another quick melt, another absurdly fast quest, two from a mini-quest boss, another fast melt, and my heroine bought the final brick in Godville – a fitting end if I do say so myself!
  • The obligatory last brick entry:
    • 05:55: Carefully placed the last brick, swept all the rooms, opened all doors, and cut the ribbon in a stately manner with my sword. I can’t believe it’s finally happened! After all these months of work, the temple in your name is finished, my Lord! I feel crazy with happiness.
  • And the first thing Altina does after getting her temple:
    • 06:04: I left the hospital and noticed I was 4020 gold coins short. I assume I had a really good time last night.
  • Her biggest drinking night ever less than ten minutes after finishing my temple. Sometimes I love my heroine!

Pairs

Obligatory pairs completion message
  • Started: 11/12/15
  • Finished: 12/25/17
  • Total time: 774 days
  • Final rank in Pantheon of Catch: 32
  • Manimal breakdown: 41 from sails, 959 from fishing
  • Fenimal breakdown: 23 from sails, 977 from fishing


Lab

Obligatory retirement completion message and my first boss awakened message
  • Bosses:
Name Fur Horns Ear Eye Heart Rib Fillet Paw Hoof Tail Power Awakened
Thug-of-war Thug-of-war Thug-of-war Thug-of-war Godbuster Thug-of-war Satyrant Difficultist Stalactitan Godbuster Hangoverlord 245% 7/27/18
Ducktator Stalactitan Hangoverlord Tinkerhell Stalactitan Bosstradamus Godbuster Afterlifeguard Dungeon Keeper Thug-of-war

Savings

  • Highest rank in Pantheon of Savings: 5
  • Savings history (click to expand):
    • Note: Started savings on 9/6/12 when retirement was introduced into the game.
Amount saved Date saved Rank in Savings at time Total time needed to save Time needed to save last million Will save 30,000,000 in (based on pace of last million) Will save 30,000,000 in (based on total pace)
1,000,000 12/6/12 46 91 days 91 days 7 years 6 months total (7 years 3 months to go) 7 years 6 months total (7 years 3 months to go)
2,000,000 2/3/13 10 150 days 59 days 4 years 11 1/3 months total (4 years 6 1/3 months to go) 6 years 2 months total (5 years 9 months to go)
3,000,000 4/6/13 6 212 days 62 days 5 years 2 months total (4 years 7 months to go) 5 years 9 3/4 months total (5 years 2 3/4 months to go)
4,000,000 6/26/13 7 293 days 81 days 6 years 7 months total (5 years 9 1/4 months to go) 6 years 1/4 months total (5 years 2 1/2 months to go)
5,000,000 8/30/13 8 358 days 65 days 5 years 5 1/4 months total (4 years 5 1/2 months to go) 5 years 10 3/4 months total (4 years 11 months to go)
6,000,000 10/20/13 8 409 days 51 days 4 years 5 3/4 months total (3 years 4 1/4 months to go) 5 years 7 1/4 months total (4 years 5 3/4 months to go)
7,000,000 1/5/14 9 485 days 76 days 6 years 1 1/2 months total (5 years 7 1/2 months to go) 5 years 8 1/2 months total (4 years 4 1/2 months to go)
8,000,000 4/6/14 9 576 days 91 days 7 years 1 month total (5 years 6 months to go) 5 years 11 months total (4 years 4 months to go)
9,000,000 7/6/14 9 667 days 91 days 7 years 1 month total (5 years 3 months to go) 6 years 1 month total (4 years 3 months to go)
10,000,000 9/19/14 11 742 days 75 days 6 years 1 1/2 months total (4 years 1 months to go) 6 years 1 month total (4 years 1/2 months to go)
11,000,000 11/24/14 11 808 days 66 days 5 years 7 3/4 months total (3 years 5 1/4 months to go) 6 years 1/2 month total (3 years 10 months to go)
12,000,000 1/28/15 9 873 days 65 days 5 years 7 1/4 months total (3 years 2 1/2 months to go) 5 years 11 3/4 month total (3 years 7 months to go)
13,000,000 4/16/15 10 951 days 78 days 6 years 3 months total (3 years 7 3/4 months to go) 6 years 1/4 month total (3 years 5 months to go)
14,000,000 6/8/15 11 1004 days 53 days 5 years 1 month total (2 years 4 months to go) 5 years 11 months total (3 years 2 months to go)
15,000,000 8/3/15 12 1060 days 56 days 5 years 2 1/2 months total (2 years 3 1/2 months to go) 5 years 10 months total (2 years 11 months to go)
16,000,000 10/10/15 11 1128 days 68 days 5 years 8 1/2 months total (2 years 7 1/2 months to go) 5 years 9 3/4 months total (2 years 8 3/4 months to go)
17,000,000 12/26/15 13 1205 days 77 days 6 years 1/2 months total (2 years 9 months to go) 5 years 10 months total (2 years 6 1/2 months to go)
18,000,000 3/6/16 11 1276 days 71 days 5 years 10 months total (2 years 4 months to go) 5 years 10 months total (2 years 4 months to go)
19,000,000 6/4/16 12 1366 days 90 days 6 years 5 3/4 months total (2 years 8 3/4 months to go) 5 years 11 months total (2 years 2 months to go)
20,000,000 8/11/16 11 1434 days 68 days 5 years 9 1/2 months total (1 year 10 1/2 months to go) 5 years 10 1/2 months total (1 year 11 1/2 months to go)
21,000,000 10/25/16 11 1509 days 75 days 5 years 11 3/4 months total (1 year 10 1/4 months to go) 5 years 10 3/4 months total (1 year 9 1/4 months to go)
22,000,000 1/7/17 12 1581 days 72 days 5 years 11 months total (1 year 7 months to go) 5 years 11 months total (1 year 7 months to go)
23,000,000 3/10/17 11 1643 days 62 days 5 years 8 1/4 months total (1 year 2 1/4 months to go) 5 years 10 1/2 months total (1 year 4 1/2 months to go)
24,000,000 5/28/17 12 1722 days 79 days 6 years 1/4 month total (1 year 3 1/2 months to go) 5 years 11 months total (1 year 2 1/4 months to go)
25,000,000 8/8/17 13 1794 days 72 days 5 years 11 months total (1 year to go) 5 years 11 months total (1 year to go)
26,000,000 10/22/17 14 1869 days 75 days 5 years 11 1/4 months total (10 months to go) 5 years 11 months total (9 1/2 months to go)
27,000,000 12/28/17 13 1936 days 67 days 5 years 10 1/2 months total (6 3/4 months to go) 5 years 11 months total (7 1/4 months to go)
28,000,000 4/8/18 14 2037 days 101 days 6 years 1 3/4 months total (6 3/4 months to go) 5 years 11 3/4 months total (4 3/4 months to go)
29,000,000 6/29/18 14 2119 days 82 days 6 years 1/2 months total (2 3/4 months to go) 6 years 1/4 month total (2 1/2 months to go)
30,000,000 7/27/18 14 2147 days 28 days Done in 5 years 10 months and 22 days
Highest Savings Entries
02:28: I went to buy a beer at the local tavern, but the bartender gave it to me on the house for my continued loyalty. I think I'm going to put these extra 29429 gold coins in my savings as soon as I get off this roof.
08:56: Saved 30120 gold coins to invest in a tavern of my own one day.
04:50: Stopped by at the 'Progress Bar'. Gave 30442 coins to the bartender and waited for my drink, but instead of a beer I received a check saying that I had progressed in my Savings Pantheon ranking. Don't know whether to feel happy or betrayed.
09:54: Deposited 30486 gold coins in my bank account for the next time sobriety looms.
06:57: Stopped by at the 'Progress Bar'. Gave 30568 gold coins to the bartender and waited for my drink, but instead of a beer I received a check saying that I had progressed in my Savings Pantheon ranking. Don't know whether to feel happy or betrayed.
08:15: Put 30600 gold coins away for a rainy day instead of buying an umbrella. I'm soaking wet but marginally wealthier.
07:43: Deposited 31090 coins in my ultimate drinking... I mean my retirement fund.
12:20: Stopped by the 'Progress Bar'. Gave 31389 gold coins to the bartender and waited for my drink. But instead of beer, I received a note that I progressed in my Savings Pantheon ranking. Don't know whether to feel happy or betrayed.
01:53: Ran up a huge tab at Khaki-colored Dragon, then slipped out the back door and hid my 32051 gold coins in the bank next door.
08:28: No more frivolous spending! I’d better stash 32469 coins for the future.
03:40: I went to buy a beer at the local tavern, but the bartender gave it to me on the house for my continued loyalty. I think I'm going to put these extra 32692 coins in my savings as soon as I get off this roof.
04:07: No more frivolous spending! I’d better stash 32757 coins for the future.
08:56: Good news! Dreadcow agreed to match my retirement contribution this time! Together, we deposited 32768 coins. Of course, I'm loaning him the money until he earns enough himself.
02:24: It seems the statute of limitations on my bar tab has run out. The years of being too drunk to settle my debts have paid off! Contributed the 33702 gold coins I'd put aside for paying it toward my savings instead.
09:12: Stashed 34262 gold coins under a mattress. Deposited the mattress at the bank.
02:01: Deposited 34650 coins in the bank as a pre-emptive apology for my future sins.
08:02: Good news! Krampus agreed to match my retirement contribution this time! Together, we deposited 34799 coins. Of course, I'm loaning him the money until he earns enough himself.
10:55: It seems the statute of limitations on my bar tab has run out. The years of being too drunk to settle my debts have paid off! Contributed the 35967 gold coins I'd put aside for paying it toward my savings instead.
11:31: Deposited 36106 coins in my bank account; the last place the Great One will ever look for it.
11:44: Hoping to do some traveling other than questing someday. Here's 36694 coins to stash away.
05:54: Put 37921 gold coins into my life savings, even though it hasn't once saved my life.
07:15: It seems the statute of limitations on my bar tab has run out. The years of being too drunk to settle my debts has paid off! Contributed the 38188 coins I'd put aside for paying it toward my savings instead.
03:55: Ok, Omnipotent One, that's enough drinking for today. I’d better put aside 38307 coins for the future and spend the rest on praying.
07:15: Won several rounds of darts against Waldo42 at the pub, so he had to pay for the drinks. I guess I'll put these 38503 coins away for a rainy day.
10:52: Saved both my liver and 38892 gold coins by taking them to the bank instead of the tavern.
10:01: Was about to commission a local artist to create a marble statue of me for my guild hall. I'm glad I decided against it and put those 40005 gold coins into savings... Word is that he's just another chiseler.
04:01: Ok, Great One, that's enough drinking for today. I’d better put aside 43064 coins for the future and spend the rest on praying.
08:12: I forgot to pay a bill in “Khaki-colored Dragon”. Guess I’d better put 43282 gold coins aside for a rainy day.
12:38: The bartender saw my face outside the window and quickly switched the sign on the pub door to “Closed”. I guess I'll just put 44018 gold coins in my savings, instead.
01:38: The bartender saw my face outside the window and quickly switched the sign on the pub door to “Closed”. I guess I'll just put 45914 coins in my savings, instead.
12:25: I just received a perfect attendance award from Los Adminos's tavern. They even offered to pay my tab for the night so I have 51165 gold coins to save towards future bar tabs.
04:27: If money is the root of all evil, my bank account just got 53174 coins closer to world domination.
Lowest Savings Entries
08:35: Since when has there been such a thing as “Alcohol Free Day”? All the pubs were closed and I really needed to put my heavy collection of 23 coins somewhere. This pensions and savings establishment will have to do.
08:48: Stashed 35 gold coins under a mattress. Deposited the mattress at the bank.
08:52: Was about to spend my money on some delicious beer but constant reproachful glares from Dreadcow guilt-tripped me into adding 66 gold coins to my retirement fund. Darn that terror bull and his moral compass!
  • Most Savings from a Savings Dungeon: 62,281 coins (followed by 49,220, 48,651, 47,898, 46,252, and 45,625 coins)
  • Least Savings from a Savings Dungeon: 12,330 coins


Other stuff

Furthest milestone reached
Skill Tracks
1) Rickrolling (trade)
  • My first skill, my only original skill, still non-traded. Hated this skill originally, now hope to keep it forever due to the nostalgia value.
2) Powerful sneeze (combat) – 11) Clinical strike (combat) – 20) Tin throat (trade) – 23) Palm of the panda (combat) – 28) Awkward silence (trade) – 33) Elbow bite (combat) – 38) Palm of the panda (combat) – 48) Awkward silence (trade) – 60) Asynchronous swimming (trans) – 64) Mountain moving (trans) – 86) Oak cloaking (combat) – 102) Steel finger (combat) – 106) Oak cloaking (combat) – 112) Clinical strike (combat) – 114) Tin throat (trade) – 118) Oak cloaking (combat) – 120) Awkward silence (trade) – 124) Steel finger (combat) – 126) Tin throat (trade)
  • Lots of Palm of the pandas and Awkward silences and Oak cloakings and Tin throats here. Best skill on track is Clinical strike, but they're all pretty weak.
3) Inept singing (combat) – 12) Somersault squatting (combat) – 14) Powerful sneeze (combat) – 16) Mosquito roar (combat) – 24) Street magic (combat) – 26) Falcon punch (combat) – 30) Forced generosity (trade) – 42) Eye scream (combat) – 63) Cobweb gulp (combat) – 66) Forced generosity (trade) – 67) Eye scream (combat) – 73) Cobweb gulp (combat) – 85) Somersault squatting (combat) – 88) Powerful sneeze – 89) Cobweb gulp (combat) – 96) Eye scream (combat) – 117) Street magic (combat) – 132) Cobweb gulp (combat) – 138) Somersault squatting (combat) – 140) Eye scream (combat)
  • Wish this skill track had stopped at Falcon punch. Loved that skill. Nothing else stands out, save maybe Powerful sneeze a couple times for the nostalgia value of being one of my original skills. Though the quadruple Cobweb Gulp/ Eye scream on the same track deserves some recognition.
4) Slap of the whale (combat) – 19) Spontaneous combustion (combat) – 27) Mass effect (combat) – 32) Spontaneous combustion (combat) – 35) Inept singing (combat) – 37) Spontaneous combustion (combat) – 39) Inept singing (combat) – 40) Mass effect (combat) – 44) Inept singing (combat) – 47) Disarming smile (combat) – 52) Inept singing (combat) – 55) Golden Vein (trade) – 59) Disarming smile (combat) – 81) Strong brow (combat) – 121) Intimate tickling (combat) – 137) Flying bird (trans)
  • No idea what went on on this track – 3 Spontaneous combustions, 4 Inept singings, 2 Mass effects, 2 Disarming smiles. Seems like TGR just couldn't make up it's mind. Personally, I like Spontaneous combustion best. Well, did until Intimate tickling came a long, which made for great entries. Sad to see it go.
5) Shiny heels (trans) – 36) Swear-o-matic (combat) – 56) Foot massage (trans) – 65) Thumb beating (combat) – 69) Thumb blowing (combat) – 70) Slap of the whale (combat) – 76) Teeth gnashing (combat) – 77) Foot massage (trans) – 87) Thumb beating (combat) – 98) Iron vortex (combat) – 101) Foot massage (trans) – 139) Self-propelled feet (trans)
  • Swear-o-matic was cool. Slap of the whale was nice for nostalgia's sake. Others are a pretty weak. Did get this awesome swap message out of it though: 09:07: A group of scientists offered me 1797 gold coins to be their lab rat. A barrage of pills, multiple injections, hours of prodding and numerous complications later, they discovered how to swap my “thumb beating” skill with the “thumb blowing” skill! If only they knew how to reverse the effect.
6) Scissorhands (combat) – 18) Peek-a-boo (combat) – 45) Shiny heels (trans) – 50) Tooth sampling (trade) – 58) Liana-eyebrows (combat) – 62) Rays of love (combat) – 74) Tooth sampling (trade) – 80) Save-load (combat) – 82) Cri de coeur (combat) – 83) Shiny heels (trans) – 95) Radioportation (trans) – 123) Radiokinesis (combat) – 130) Cri de coeur (combat) – 134) Stifling embrace (combat) – 135) Glance of Kaa (trade)
  • The radio-to-radio skill swap: 06:38: I couldn’t miss this great deal and changed my boring “radioportation” skill to the new exciting “radiokinesis” skill of the same level. Oh, boy, I love this customer service! Personally, I missed the greatly-named Scissorhands...
7) Effect of the groundhog (trans) – 17) Deafening snore (combat) – 22) Bad breath (combat) – 25) Deafening snore (combat) – 54) Scissorhands (combat) – 57) Unbearable boredom (trans) – 75) Electrostatic discharge (combat) – 78) Opacity control (combat) – 97) Scissorhands (combat) – 104) Opacity control (combat) – 113) Quantum leap (trans) – 128) Quantum fireball (combat) – 133) Sunstroke (combat)
  • ...until it came back here on this otherwise worthless track of almost all weak skill names (love beer belly!). But then left again. But then came back! And then left again. The quantum-to-quantum skill swap: 04:27: A group of scientists offered me 1243 coins to be their lab rat. A barrage of pills, multiple injections, hours of prodding and numerous complications later, they discovered how to swap my “quantum leap” skill with the “quantum fireball” skill! If only they knew how to reverse the effect.
8) Homesickness (trans)– 21) Dove of peace (combat) – 29) Sword-swallowing (combat) – 43) Dove of peace (combat) – 46) Knight's move (trans) – 79) Rail-bending (combat) – 91) Knight’s move (trans) – 92) Win on points (combat) – 94) Rail-bending (combat) – 99) Effect of the groundhog (trans) – 105) Win on points (combat) – 108) Rail-bending (combat) – 109) Cry of horror (combat) – 110) Pocket hypnotoad (trade) – 119) Sword-swallowing (combat) – 127) Rail-bending (combat) – 129) Beer belly (combat)
  • Win on points was easily the best on this track, if only for the Home Movies reference (which I’m sure is not what it’s intending to reference), until the great Beer belly came along. Though I’m also partial to Effect of the groundhog, if only for the nostalgia value of being one of my original skills. Also, rail-bending 4 times? Kinda ridiculous.
9) Mating contact (combat) – 15) Epitaph writing (combat) – 31) Explosive character (combat) – 41) Cash whistle (trade) – 49) Peace enforcement (combat) – 51) Drunken rampage (combat) – 61) Cash whistle (trade) – 68) Exhaust of the dragon (combat) – 72) Epitaph writing (combat) – 84) Cash whistle (trade) – 100) Exhaust of the dragon (combat) – 103) Drunken Rampage (combat) – 107) Concrete placer (combat) – 111) Homesickness (trans) – 116) Brain dilution (combat) – 125) Drunken rampage (combat) – 136) Cash whistle (trade)
  • What a good track! All at least decent skill names, except Cash whistle (which of course had to come back twice) and later the utterly bland Concrete placer and Homesickness. Mating contact was awesome and made for hilarious diary entries, but Drunken rampage is pretty awesome too. Devastated the day I lost that, and super psyched the day it came back, and even more devastated when it left again, yet even more psyched when it came back again, yet most devastated when in left yet again. Plus, the swap of Peace enforcement for Drunken rampage gave me the best skill swap ever: 09:43: You know, Mighty One, there has been an unexpected mess up during a medical procedure... Now I have a new “drunken rampage” skill instead of the old “peace enforcement” skill. The doctor gave me 1039 coins for my promise to keep it quiet. Also, most false skill swap message ever: 08:00: I couldn’t miss this great deal and changed my boring “drunken rampage” skill to the new exciting “concrete placer” skill of the same level. Oh, boy, I love this customer service! Well, unless this is more false: 06:28: I couldn’t miss this great deal and changed my boring “drunken rampage” skill to the new exciting “cash whistle” skill of the same level. Oh, boy, I love this customer service! And I could see how brain dilution could lead to a drunken rampage… 04:25: I couldn’t miss this great deal and changed my boring “brain dilution” skill to the new exciting “drunken rampage” skill of the same level. Oh, boy, I love this customer service!
10) Brownian motion (trans) – 13) Winged swing (trans) – 34) Bloody itch (combat) – 53) Selfish interest (trade) – 71) Cheshire smile (trade) – 90) Winged swing (trans) – 93) Full throttle (trans) – 115) Winged swing (trans) – 122) Instant hairloss (combat) – 131) Bloody itch (combat)
  • Another track of all weak skill names, this one even worse. At least Cheshire smile is decent.
  • Most equipment bought in one day: four pieces (several times, once actually in a 12 hour time frame)
  • Biggest level jump from buying equipment: bought a +64 shield to replace a +56 shield
  • Highest rank in Pantheon of Might: 55
  • Highest rank in Pantheon of Mastery: 281
  • Highest rank in Pantheon of Storytelling: 2 (chronicles can be read here: GodTheGourdGod )
  • Length of chronicles as a Word document: 19 pages
  • Length of the code of this page as a Word document: 74 pages
  • Highest rank in Pantheon of Creation: 5 (with a pure good! personality)
  • Most ironic rank reached in Pantheon of Creation: 666
  • Furthest milestone reached on a regular quest (due to a bug): 466
  • Furthest milestone reached on a regular quest (without a bug): 226
  • Furthest milestone reached on an epic quest: 1490


Drinking Accomplishments

Highest Drinking Entries (listed lowest to highest, only highest of each entry shown, no repeats)
09:57: I bought the whole town a bunch of drinks. It only cost 2971 gold coins! What a bargain. I just wish I could remember it.
07:41: Told the bartender at “Boatmurdered” that I sometimes hear what sounds like loud cursing from the heavens after I spend money. Bought 3715 gold coins worth of beer trying to prove it to him.
10:43: Tried to make up for my misdeeds by spending 5327 coins at a charity shop. “The Mended Drum” is a charity, right?
11:04: I vaguely recall being at the pub, drinking booze, and even more booze... But that's all I can remember. Now I'm missing 5772 coins from my purse. My Lord, I really should give up drinking.
11:24: One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor... and a tab for 6346 gold coins to go with it.
08:14

Consolidated all my frivolous expenditures of 6450 coins into one convenient payment to the tavern.

07:55: My mouth tastes like I made bad decisions last night, and I'm missing 8532 coins. Where's my toothbrush?
09:01: Investing into a long term retirement plan would be the wise and prudent thing to do, but that's just so not me. Invested 8735 coins on a short term binge drinking plan instead.
07:16: The barman told me that the door handle was poisoned and that his beer was the only antidote. I quickly bought some for only 9109 gold coins. Lucky!
09:54: Thinking of my retirement, I was very frugal all day. Being so proud of myself, I celebrated by buying everyone drinks for 10482 gold coins.
09:13: Attended an Alcoholics Unanimous meeting at the “The Battle Toad” last night. Don’t remember too much about it, but judging by the fact that I woke up face-down in a gutter with 10880 gold coins missing from my bag, I think it must have gone pretty well.
02:15: Spent 10979 coins at the tavern, causing me to question the role beer plays in my life. Specifically, is it a large enough role?
04:43: Stopped at the tavern on my way to the bank. Forgot about the bank and deposited 11517 gold coins into the tavern instead.
07:13: Saw the doctor and several nurses at “Boatmurdered” this evening. Spent 11569 gold coins buying them overdue “thank you” drinks.
07:56: Tried to drink 12661 gold coins, but it was a bit lumpy. Swapped it for beer instead. That's better!
04:23: Closed? Closed?! Now where am I supposed to put my 13387 gold coins? Guess it's back to the tavern for another round. Stupid bank holidays.
08:37: I heard from the bartender that the world is full of apathy. So what? Here is my bar tab to prove it, “Shepherd's Stuff” paid 13403 coins.
10:17: Exchanged 13718 coins for something golden, fulfilling, and starts with “b”. I hope the Almighty thinks I'm talking about bricks.
11:27: Recreated a famous war from long ago, using coins from my pouch. It was the battle against sobriety, and 14396 coins were lost in the initial charge.
11:54: Thought about trying to earn some money with a get rich quick scheme. Decided to invest 14894 coins in a get drunk quick scheme instead. Hello, tavernkeep!
01:41: Decided to do some alcohol research at “Boatmurdered”. After a night of intensive study, and taking into account the 15200 gold coins I had lost, I concluded that alcohol is expensive. Perhaps I should apply for a grant...
04:53: After a long day of monster slaying, I told Nobby Nobbs to bear with me while I collect myself. He thought I said, “Beer with me” and subsequently, we spent 15358 coins at the tavern.
07:33: Wow, drinking all this beer is giving me a beer belly. Pretty soon I'm going to have to tap this little keg of mine. Spent 15440 gold coins.
11:03: Drink or save? Booze or budget? Splurge or invest? The choice was easy. I figure if I drink enough, I won't have to worry about living till retirement, and I think these 15584 coins will agree.
04:50: Was going to throw some more money away in the tavern, but thought I'd be better off spending 16219 coins on beer there instead.
08:35: Ran into Nietyook at the tavern and ended up betting on a drinking contest. Long story short, my Lord, I'm out 16355 coins, the tavern is a wreck, and the barkeep is considering a restraining order.
10:10: Can't remember a thing from last night's session in “The Drunken Clam”. Must've been good as I've just woke up in a bamboo grove... with two confused looking moles... and 18152 coins missing.
02:06: Asked “What's a heroine gotta do to get a beer around here?” Apparently spending 18283 gold coins was the answer.
03:11: Converted 19403 coins into beer using alchemy. Then converted my sobriety into drunkenness.
10:25: Bravely slew some brain cells in the local tavern, costing me only 20481 coins.
03:27: I was all set to donate 22007 coins to my retirement fund, but the bank was closed for a holiday. Spent it celebrating at the tavern instead.
01:50: The waiting line at the bank was an hour long! I got impatient and went to the pub instead, where the wait was only three minutes. Spent 22406 gold coins reducing my stress level.
02:29: A fellow bar patron promised to teach me the secrets of fools and their gold being soon parted if I bought him drinks all night. Spent 22491 coins but had one too many myself and forgot what I learnt.
07:16: Had a good time at a crummy joint called “The Rusty Goblin”. Lost 22734 gold coins.
08:27: The barkeeper kept trying to tell me I had enough to drink every time I ordered another beer. Spent 23186 coins proving him wrong again and again.
12:23: A friend suggested I might stand a better chance if I went to a singles' bar rather than hanging out with the usual crowd at the tavern, so I did. Strangely, I ended up with exactly the same people and spent the usual 24181 coins.
07:22: Since you are too drunk to understand what I'm about to tell you now, I'll be taking 26236 coins from your bag for the cost of all your ruckus tonight. -Tavern Owner
06:25: Had some fun at “Space Bar.” Spent 27304 coins.
02:24: Seems I lost 27342 coins at the bar last night. Guess I'll have to keep going back until I get it back.
05:01: Everyone was excited when “Progress Bar” announced free beer in honor of Skeatseria Lodge. By the time I got there, all they had left was the bill for 28379 gold coins.
11:09: Stumbled on a meeting of anonymous heroes sitting in a circle and talking about how long it's been since their last drink. Felt sorry for them, and spent 29806 coins buying them all beer.
02:45: Restored balance to the poverty gap by donating a few gold coins to a beggar. Felt proud and treated myself to 29823 gold coins worth of drinking at a high-end pub.
07:58: I left the hospital and noticed I was 30269 gold coins short. I assume I had a really good time last night.
10:48: Had a hot date last night, or at least I think I did. I can’t remember a thing, but 32021 gold coins are missing from my wallet, so it must have been pretty awesome!
06:37: I'm now ever so slightly closer to my retirement. I may have spent 33668 coins at “The Mended Drum” instead of saving it, but all that beer has aged me considerably.
04:11: Thought about building an extension to your temple, Most Righteous One. Though it would be easier to spend 34158 coins on beer, and build an extension to my gut instead.
06:47: Took a shot in the dark. Then a couple in the light. Spent 36840 coins at “The Rusty Goblin.”
11:57: Bought some party supplies and beer for 37819 coins. Now I'm prepared for further questing, Exalted One.
Most Altina spent at the bars of Godville (listed alphabetically by bar)
12:20: Everyone was excited when “The Battle Toad” announced free beer in honor of Skeatseria Lodge. By the time I got there, all they had left was the bill for 18833 coins.
01:41: Decided to do some alcohol research at “Boatmurdered”. After a night of intensive study, and taking into account the 15200 gold coins I had lost, I concluded that alcohol is expensive. Perhaps I should apply for a grant…
08:11: Had some fun at “Caravanserai.” Spent 19401 gold coins.
10:10: Can't remember a thing from last night's session in “The Drunken Clam”. Must've been good as I've just woke up in a bamboo grove... with two confused looking moles... and 18152 coins missing.
07:23: Had some fun at “The Glass Cannon.” Spent 10907 coins.
10:55: Everyone was excited when Khaki-colored Dragon announced free beer in honor of Skeatseria Lodge. By the time I got there, all they had left was the bill for 2261 coins.
06:37: I'm now ever so slightly closer to my retirement. I may have spent 33668 coins at “The Mended Drum” instead of saving it, but all that beer has aged me considerably.
01:20: Took a shot in the dark. Then a couple in the light. Spent 4897 gold coins at “Molotov's Cocktail Bar.”
05:01: Everyone was excited when “Progress Bar” announced free beer in honor of Skeatseria Lodge. By the time I got there, all they had left was the bill for 28379 gold coins.
06:47: Took a shot in the dark. Then a couple in the light. Spent 36840 coins at “The Rusty Goblin.”
11:11: Can't remember a thing from last night's session in “Shepherd's Stuff”. Must've been good as I've just woke up in a bamboo grove... with two confused looking moles... and 13783 gold coins missing.
06:25: Had some fun at “Space Bar.” Spent 27304 coins.

The drinking entry referenced in Altina's chronicles, as it is simple and to the point:

  • 08:06: Had some fun at “Molotov's Cocktail Bar.” Spent 4325 coins.

Altina's biggest drinking fail:

  • 17:20: Had a hot date last night, or at least I think I did. I can’t remember a thing, but 1 gold coin are missing from my wallet, so it must have been pretty awesome!

Altina's biggest non-drinking money-wasting fail:

  • 10:44: Paid a guru 42989 coins to help me overcome my compulsive urge to waste money.


Approved Ideabox Submissions

Highest ranking in Pantheon of Gratitude: 10

Gratitude points: 402

Diary Entries: 9

Type of entry Diary entry
on spending gold in town Ran into some of my buddies from %hero_guild%. We went out for a long night of drinking, sharing stories over over many a beer. It was a good time... until they stuck me with the bill for %gold% coins.
gaining free equipment from shop Ran into an older member of %hero_guild% in the shop. He had just replaced some of his equipment and gave me his old %random_equipment% for free.
during a fight with a monster What's the worst that could happen? I screw up, I die, and I get some time off. No big deal.
response to a god voice – from “return” command I just remembered that %hero_guild% is hosting a party in %nearby_town%. I better get back there before I miss it!
response to a god voice – from “dig” command During my digging, I dug up what appears to be an ancient altar used for religious purposes. Decided to offer a few prayers to you at it, %rg%!
on spending gold in town/savings Couldn't decide whether to save my money or go out drinking. Flipped a coin - heads I save it, tails I drink. Landed on %v%. {Saved\Spent} %gold% at the {bank\tavern}.
miracle influence response – gain bold item Suddenly fell to my knees, closed my eyes, and held out my hands to you, %rg%. Was surprised to see %bold_item% in my hands when I opened my eyes. Thank you for this gift! I promise to put it to good use.
on getting a log from a temple What is this in my collection plate? It's big, it's heavy, it's wood... why, it must be log! This is better than bad, it's good!
response to a god voice – from “return” command A pamphlet suddenly fell from the sky announcing a sale on beer at %some_tavern%. Obviously, this quest can wait.

Duels: 8

Type of entry Duel entry
hero hit The %attacker% started playing her victory music too early and was knocked over by the annoyed %defender%...
hero hit %attacker% challenged %defender% to a dance-off. The crowd chose %attacker% as the winner. %defender% was so ashamed {he\she} lost several health points.
  • Changed (for the worse in my opinion) in the ER to: %attacker% challenged %defender% to a dance-off. The crowd chose %attacker% as the winner. %defender% is deeply ashamed.
random phrase Exhausted from battle, both fighters put aside their differences for a few moments to have a drink. They toasted to each others' health and chatted over a beer before resuming killing each other.
boss attack %boss_monster% performed a beautiful tap dance. %defender% would've been much more impressed if it had not been performed on top of {him\\her}.
boss miss %boss_monster% skipped its turn to instead sprinkle spices on %defender% in preparation of its victory dinner.
sweeping boss attack All heroes ran in for a quick attack. At the last second %monster% took a step back, causing the heroes to deal severe damage to each other.
hero hit %attacker% attacked. %defender% defended, but still took damage.
hero hit %attacker% chose not to attack on his turn. %defender% scratched {his\\her} head in confusion so hard that {he\\she} bled.

Dungeons: 10

Type of entry Dungeon entry
treasure room Fireworks go off as the heroes enter the room, casting a sparkling glow on the piles of treasure they just found. The heroes split the loot while enjoying the show.
  • Changed (for the worse) in the ER to: Fireworks go off as the adventurers enter the room, casting a sparkling glow on the piles of treasure they just found! (exclamation unnecessary and loss of second sentence hurts the imagery of the heroes watching the fireworks)
    • Switched into two entries after trying to get switched back to the original. Both can be found in the game.
empty room A graphical glitch prevents this room from being displayed.
bonus room The heroes find a large first aid station set up with a banner reading, “Regain health here!” They heroes take full advantage.
boss nearby hint There is a boss monster in an adjacent room.
boss nearby hint An injured hero lies on the floor with his comrades whimpering, “I knew we shouldn't have gone in there...”
trap room There's a hole in the middle of the floor with a sign above it saying “Trap”. %random_attacker% investigates further to determine what kind of trap it is. {He//She} discovers it is the type that hurts.
bonus room %attacker% finds a stack of %gold% with a note containing instructions to distribute it equally among {his/her} allies. Not thinking twice, {he/she} pockets it all for {him/her}self.
empty room The heroes have been in this room too many times to count and refuse to describe it yet again.
boss nearby hint A sign invites heroes to figure out which door leads to a boss monster.
trove room There is a dragon sleeping on an enormous pile of gold. The heroes take as much gold as they can and hurry our before waking the dragon.

Quests: 2

Quest
talk to every non-player character to figure out what to do next
  • submitted with the ending: “Having talked to every non-player character, I now know what to do next.” (which is admittedly weak, technically the first ending I ever submitted)
  • Humorously, this quest was grammar corrected from “every non-player character” to “the locals”, which totally killed the joke (RPG reference to talking to NPCs to find out what to do). However, they failed to grammar correct the ending, so the ending still referenced the non-player characters, which then made no sense with the corrected quest. Gotta love that.
waste time productively

Quest Endings: 260

Quest Ending added
dunk a cookie in the milky way Well, I'm glad I finished the quest, but now my cookie is so soggy I can't eat it.
find out how many heroes it takes to change a light bulb Wait, what is a light bulb? This was a trick quest!
  • This one is horrible. I blame it on it being one of my first attempts.
  • And as bad as it was, someone made it even worse with a grammar correction, to “tricky quest” instead of “trick quest” (making it mean challenging rather than a quest that can't be completed). Submitted my own grammar correction and got it switched back. Actually tried to switch the entire ending to something better, but the devs wouldn't do that, though they did switch it back, so that was goo.
fill this quest's progress bar Ahhhh, the sweet satisfaction of a successfully filled quest bar!
do a sequel to the last quest with a bigger budget (epic) That looked cool and all, but it didn't stay true to the original quest at all.
chase that funny burning ball in the sky I think I've been chasing that long enough. Good thing I didn't have to catch it, because I was making no progress on that
assist the dragon in its quest to stop smoking The dragon's not smoking anymore, but I'm not sure these vicious flames it's spewing now are any better. Either way, I'm getting out of here!
defeat a goldfish in a staring contest Ha! Finally figured out how to win, and it was delicious!
try to fail and succeed That was a spectacularly successful failure. As are most things I do.
chlorinate the fountain of youth That was simple enough. I wonder why everyone suddenly looks so old all of the sudden.
get going while the going's good While I finished getting going while the going's good, I think the going was so good that I'll just keep on going.
discover what the gods are doing when they're not paying attention to us You're doing what?!? I don't want to know! How can I unlearn that? Make it go away!
  • I wouldn't consider it one of my best, but this one really makes me laugh.
help the three little kittens find their mittens Awwww, kittens in mittens! So cute! Now where's the bar? I need to get drunk.
gather enough monkeys in a room to reproduce the works of Shakespeare) I apparently completed this quest, but these monkeys are stupid. What they wrote is total gibberish.
find 100 random objects hidden throughout Godville I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty, I've got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty! But who cares? No big deal. I want more!
  • Totally my favorite ending I submitted. So glad it got accepted. Props to those getting the reference.
find a crew small enough to sail a ship-in-a-bottle Awwww, they're so cute! I wonder why they all went to sleep after I put the cap on the bottle.
make a unanimous decision with imaginary friends Wow, that was great! Makes me feel like a {god/goddess}! Is this what you do all the time, my {Lord///Lady}?
play with the mice while the cat is away I'm so glad the cat came back, I was being chased everywhere by these mice! I mean, I was just tired of playing with them...
empty a lake with a spoon Finished! Some people were saying that was only a puddle I emptied, but I'm pretty sure it was just a small lake.
find the difference between pie and pi This is just obvious: one is a constant entity in the universe that can be found everywhere and is fundamentally ingrained in our lives, and the other is just some number.
convince the suicidal lemming not to jump Talking was doing no good, but the second I put an object in front of it, it just turned around and walked the other direction.
lead a horse to water and make it drink Done. Got the horse to a pond, forced its head in the water to drink, and now it's slumped over to take a nap. It's been this way for awhile though...
reunite a fool with his money I wasn't sure how to complete this quest, but I just got a bunch of money I'd lost before. To the tavern!
negotiate a monster-hero peace agreement Negotiated so that the monsters will not attack dead heroes and heroines. That was the most they were willing to compromise.
< censored > My {Lord///Lady}, you don't even want to know what I had to do to complete that quest. Though I wouldn't mind doing it again.
break on through to the other side We chased our pleasures here, dug our treasures there, but can you still recall the time we cried? Then I broke on through to the other side.
find the questgiver and ask for another quest Found the questgiver and was told I would find my next quest the next time I leave Godville. Time to head back there!
challenge Death to a game of chess Wait, he accepted? I was just bluffing, I don't even know how to play chess. Time to run away!
tie up the loose ends in the string theory It was a good theory but the replacement of quantum particles didn't properly correlate to the physics conjectured therein. Added a subtheory about the dimensional states of said particles to tie it up nicely. Now what was I doing? Which way back to Godville?
  • Love this one. Just wish I was more confident that it fully made sense...
tip every cow in the village fields That was fun and easy. Now to run from this flack of angry farmers chasing me.
find the square-root of an apple pie Took a lot of pushing, but I finally got this round apple pie in this strangely square root. Not sure what that accomplished. Seems like a waste of a perfectly good pie.
  • What does this even mean? I'm not sure what I was thinking when I wrote it or why it got accepted.
take time off for good behavior Took a much deserved rest for working so hard. Not sure why every person I cam across insisted I didn't deserve it.
kill two birds with one stone That wasn't too hard. Chuck enough rocks into enough flocks of birds and it was bound to happen eventually.
go back to the drawing board Not sure why someone left it here at this milestone, but now that I've gotten back to it it, may as well head back to Godville.
try every trick in the book Tried each and every one. Also failed each and every one.
perform acupuncture on a voodoo doll I believe I have cured this doll of all maladies. This person following me the whole quest screaming and begging for me to stop was really annoying though. Who knew people cared so much about dolls?
reach for the stars and take one Too bad this day has been so cloudy. I guess this star-shaped rock will have to do.
  • This one is really weak.
create holy water by boiling the hell out of it Yup, the hell's all out. Just heaven left now. Still burnt my tongue when I tried to drink it though, which was not very heavenly.
sacrifice dignity on the altar of entertainment Embarrassed, yet completed. Got a weird sense of déjà vu from it for some reason.
take the hounds of war to the dog park Oh, look, they're so cute! Wait, that guy shouldn't pet them... oh... that's not so cute. I'm just going to leave now.
  • Even though I feel this is a bit generic, I really enjoy this one.
plant an escape root Hopefully it'll grow into a beautiful escape tree and bear some delicious escape fruit.
reach the unreachable That was easy. I used a stick.
  • I like the simplicity in this one.
live long and prosper Done. My deaths don't count against living long if I keep getting resurrected, right?
establish an alibi just in case There we go. Now all these people can attest to me being around, so I can't be blamed for doing... I mean accused of anything.
find out why nostalgia isn't what it used to be I remember in my day that remembering things from my earlier days was so much better. Seems to be because I can't remember much at all these days. Maybe I should stop drinking? Nah, couldn't be that.
find a cause worth fighting for What do you mean you refuse to serve me another beer?
master the mysteriously powerful 'wax on, wax off' technique I think I figured it out, but now I'm very sore, very red, and missing all my body hair.
pick up some chicken broth from the stock market Grabbed a can from the bottom and sent all the stocks tumbling. Oops.
test the limits of an 'all—you-can-eat' buffet What? I'm still hungry! I don't care that they ran out of food, I most certainly have not had all I can eat yet.
find an organ donor for the local choir Had many volunteers. Who knew so many people had a spare organ to play. Not sure why the choir room is now filled with body parts though. That could really dampen the mood.
catch a fly with chopsticks Finally found a dead fly on the ground. Picked it up with chopsticks.
trap a mime in an invisible box Running out of ideas, I simply told the mime he was in a box. He tried to get out for a while, but then became claustrophobic and collapsed. Now I don't know how to get him out, so I'm just going to walk away.
find out what's not fair in love and war I am at an endless war with these monsters and can never find love – that's not fair!
send in the clowns (mini) There they go! Is that ever a terrifying sight...
fear nothing but fear itself, and clowns (mini) I am a master of my own domain, afraid of nothing! Wait, is that... a clown... oh no...
flirt with disaster (mini) Flirting with anything else didn't work for me, so flirting with disaster it is!
demand a refund for a broken heart (mini) Demand all I want, I was given nothing except this broken heart.
take the bull by the horns (mini) It didn't seem safe, but I grabbed the horns. And now that one broke off, it seems even less safe...
locate a hive of scum and villainy (mini) This place is full of nefarious affairs. I took some of this money lying around, but now I'm worried about what to do next...
find a level boss and defeat it (mini) Wait, that's the boss of the level? And I have to defeat... THAT?
find the entrance to a secret lair (mini) This sign here certainly made that easy. Think I'll take it as a souvenir.
moon a werewolf (mini) Oh, it didn't like that. It definitely seems upset. Glad it only threw this cheese at me. So far.
laugh in the face of danger (mini) How was that a good idea? Now it's just angry!
determine the longest distance between point a and point b (mini) Well, this isn't scientific per se, but if the shortest distance between them is one meter, than the longest distance must be a really long meter.
  • The weakest of my mini-quest submissions, trying to work in the artifact “really long meter” you get for completing it. The rest where I did that came out much better.
play the world's saddest song on the world's smallest violin This song is making me cry uncontrollably... oops. Accidentally crushed the violin while sobbing. At least I'm not sad anymore.
convince a cannibal to become a vegetarian (mini) Well, the cannibal said he'd try it. Even offered me a homemade vegetarian meatball it created.
serve hot dogs at a vegan event (mini) That certainly got hairy quickly. They just looked like they needed something to eat, not sure why they're so upset now.
stay until the bitter end (mini) I did it. Toughed it out and stuck around, even though no one wanted me here. Especially this guy...
go fishing in the gene pool (mini) Not sure that was a good idea, as I ended up with an extra chromosome, but I'll take it anyhow.
fathom the unfathomable (mini) Luckily, I'm not deep enough to understand that one can't understand how deep that is, so I just measured it with some fancy tool.
fish for a red herring (mini) Everyone was so excited that I caught the red herring, but I don't understand why. The fish I caught was gold.
teach a fish to catch a man (mini) Took some effort, but showed them if they call over their friends, the can actually pull the man in.
wake someone who sleeps with the fishes (mini) Awwwww, isn't it cute how he slept so nicely with the fishes? Uh oh, actually he doesn't look too happy now...
calculate a snowball's chance in hell (mini) Put a snowball in my pocket and brought it down here. My calculations show there is no chance. And now all I've got are these wet pants.
die another day (mini) By successfully surviving yesterday, I lived to die another day. Which may be today, judging by that demon looking at me...
look for love in all the wrong places (mini) I've searched and searched and haven't found love yet. It has taken so long that now my flowers are dying.
live to tell about it (mini) Despite everyone's expectations to the contrary, and my own limitations, I'm still alive! So nice to get rewarded with a ticket to anywhere now.
prepare for the unexpected Thankfully I was totally prepared for... whatever that was.
completely map out Godville (epic) There. A beautiful map of Godville. I have no idea if it's accurate, but it looks good.
learn humility and then brag about it Looked up the word humility in the dictionary. Told everyone I knew what it meant.
fetch a pail of water for Jack and Jill Hopefully they'll be more careful and not fall down the hill next time. They can't keep expecting people to fetch pails of water for them.
resupply the rumor mill That should keep people talking for a long time. Wonder if I should have checked the truth behind any of those things I said...
level Godville's playing field Really not sure why this field was so bumpy and uneven. After a lot of flattening it out, I'm pretty sure this playing field is completely level now.
reminisce about the good ol' days Oh, those days before I spent every waking hour questing. Honestly, I don't even remember what I used to do, but it must have been better than this!
apply for a Godville lifetime membership card Wait, is this good for only one life? Or is it still good after dying and getting resurrected?
return junk mail to sender Went to the return address. The place was a dump. Literally.
  • Another one where simplicity did the trick. I like when that works out.
fail despite favorable odds Everyone told me there was no way I could fail at this. I showed them! Or wait, does that mean I succeeded?
make a prequel to a sequel I worked my hardest on this, but it really seems just like the original.
find out how many pecks of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked Apparently just one, but I can't find the peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked.
  • This one threw me off, as the quest would have been better as “find out where the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked is”. Had to adjust. Not enthusiastic about the result.
find and then tip the balance of power Well, I tipped it... but then it fell over completely. Now there's power everywhere.
  • I feel like this one's stupid, but I love it.
inflate all the bubbles in a roll of bubble wrap Wow. That's far less fun than popping them.
dig a tunnel to the other side of the world Whoa, where am I? No milestones to reference? What are these “kilometerstones”? I better go back through this tunnel.
count the stars in the sky One. Phew. I'm thankful I had to do this during the day.
find out where the little birdie gets all its information Whoa. Followed the birdie to a massive underground lair full of glowing screens and little flashing lights on countless square boxers. I don't know where this place is, but I'm getting out of here!
  • I really like this one. Never knew what that birdie was up to before...
acknowledge the elephant in the room Said hi to the elephant. It said nothing back to me. Awkward.
climb the tallest beanstalk to get a bird's-eye view of Godville (epic) Huh. Who knew Godville was so small.
raise a family of dust bunnies And I'll name this one Timmy, and that one Tommy, and... oops. Just stepped on Timmy. And kicked Tommy away. This isn't going well...
  • This is just awful. I remember thinking it was really funny when writing it, but after rereading it after it got accepted, it's just bad. I don't know how it got accepted.
drag and drop a golden ring into the volcano Made a satisfying 'plunk' sound followed by some sizzling. Easy enough.
do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay Really? People do that? That was agonizing. No more complaining about killing monsters all day long for me!
prove the critics wrong Well, trying to prove something they thought was bad actually wasn't didn't work, so I had to ruin something they thought was good. Luckily, I'm good at that.
subvert the standard paradigms of the fantasy genre No crystals of power, no magic powers, no saving the world, no party of angsty teenagers, no source of mana, no grinding for experience... I think my mere existence fulfills the requirements of this quest.
dance with the devil in the pale moonlight Not sure why I did that. I just liked the sound of it.
  • This may sound weak, but it makes perfect sense for those that get the reference.
sell seashells by the seashore I tried to sell some seashells by the seashore, but seriously who sells seashells by the seashore? Poor location planning.
find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a lollipop Let's find out. One... two... three... Oh this is going to take too long. Just bit through the whole thing. So... three?
make a mountain out of a molehill Laid down really close to the ground, facing the molehill against the backdrop of the horizon. Painted a picture of what I saw. The molehill came out gigantic. Very mountainous. Perspective is everything, my {Lord///Lady}.
refuse to master reverse psychology No sir, I won't do that. See what I did there?
rescue a captive from a diary factory Listen, I saved him and all, but how do these people get stuck in those diary factories in the first place?
help a rolling stone gather moss Followed the stone around. Picked up moss it passed by. Not sure what it's gonna do with it all.
stop treating everything as a quest Finished the... I mean, I completed the... no, that doesn't work, but the bar filled for the... ugh, this is harder than I thought. Let's just say I did something and leave it at that.
travel back in time to prevent myself from starting this quest If I stop myself from starting this quest then I never began this quest and thus cannot complete this quest making this quest wholly paradoxical and hurting my head. As such, I declare the completion of this quest by not completing this quest and thus I am done with it.
scare a scarecrow Got it! Scared it so bad it fell over. Or I might have bumped into it and knocked it over, but I'm going to say it was the former.
rake the sands of time It was very zen and peaceful. Until I tripped and scattered the sands of time everywhere.
find a square peg that fits into a round hole After trying to get a very large square peg into the round hole for awhile, I simply gave up and tried a much smaller square peg. Fit right in. Probably should've tried that sooner.
discover who left the light on at the end of the tunnel It was some false god attempting to attract followers. Turned the light off. Head many people screaming afterwards.
clean up the mess made during the previous quest Do you see how much effort that was? This is why I usually leave it for someone else!
grow and harvest a money tree All that effort to grow and harvest it, and the fruit of the tree just tasted horrible. What a waste.
follow the sun to see where it sleeps at night Weird. No matter how far I follow it, it never seems to get dark and go away. Guess it doesn't sleep?
agree on a dig-free zone with the leader of the mole council We agreed on it. Too bad for the mole council it's far away from the paths commonly traveled by us heroes.
prove that the other heroes' gods don't exist I tried praying to them and nothing happened. So obviously you're the only real one! Please don't get offended that I tried to shop around...
start at the end and work back to the beginning There we go. I'm at the end. Now to work back to the beginning at Godville.
rock the cradle of love That took some work. Yes, the cradle of love don't rock easily. It's true.
discover the atomic number of the element of surprise The atomic number is... woah! Didn't see that coming!
  • This is another really weak one. Seemed decent at the time. Totally regret submitting it in retrospect.
make a heavenly dessert in hell's kitchen (epic) That's so good it's sinful! But this isn't a good place for that...
prove that bad things come in threes Ugh. Proven, unfortunately. Hope good things come in threes too to make up for it.
skate on thin ice That was actually pretty fun. Well, until it cracked and I fell in. Made me thankful I can be resurrected.
walk halfway around the world, then give up and head back I simply could not go any further. Had to walk back. Weird, I felt like between the two walks combined, I could've made it all the way around the world. Oh well.
find out why they removed the word 'gullible' from the dictionary I searched and searched and not only could I not find out, everyone I asked laughed at me. Finally someone told me they removed it for a good laugh. I still don't see what's so funny about it.
find out what's in humble pie Had to eat humble pie to find out. Not sure I liked the taste, but several people told me it was about time I ate it.
locate a mountain high enough and a valley low enough After much searching, I have actually discovered that there ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't even no river wide enough to keep me from speaking to you, my {Lord///Lady}!
build an igloo in the desert I did it! It may look like a puddle now, but I swear it was an igloo a moment ago.
find a deaf man who's heard about a blind man seeing a legless man walk That was easy. When I asked them, every deaf man claimed to have heard about it, and every blind man claimed to have seen it. Not sure why they all laughed afterwards.
prove that the world is flat Showed some scientists a map of the world. If the map is flat, obviously the world is too. They threw their arms in the air and stomped away. Some people just can't take being wrong.
go on strike for better pay and conditions The whole time I was on strike, I was still fighting monsters and completing a quest. And I still didn't get better pay and conditions. Not sure what the point of that was. Oh well. Back to work I guess.
separate the red beans from the green beans Tried using a sieve in case they were different sizes, tried putting them in water in case one floated and the other didn't, and tried several other things too. None worked. Finally sucked it up and separated the four beans by hand.
find some food for thought Told every tavern I came to I was on this quest and they gave me free samples of their food to see if it qualified. I discovered quickly that technically anything I eat counts as food for thought as it keeps me alive and thinking, but kept asking around to get the free food. But I'm full now.
teach these monsters some manners Awwww, the monsters are so cute when they know what side the silverware goes on and ask so politely for what they want! I still wish they didn't want to eat me though.
reach the peak of imperfection Perfected my imperfections to become perfectly imperfect.
  • I like this one. One of my better ones I think.
write a holy book Wrote a book full of plot holes. Not sure who's going to enjoy reading it, but it's done.
request a re-quest of this quest After successfully requesting a re-quest of this quest several times over, which simply kept making this quest longer, I'm just declaring it done for the sake of my sanity.
find someone to agree to disagree with After disagreeing with everyone I came across, I finally agreed to disagree with myself.
destroy all evidence of the previous quest It's like it never happened, though I couldn't manage to bring the quest count back down by one. Convinced those that asked that it was a bug.
put signposts on the road to nowhere Now people will know when they're going nowhere.
make a nice shirt out of the fabric of reality This shirt is so good it's unreal!
  • Another great simple one.
march in doubletime to two different drummers Marched to one drummer with my left foot, another with my right. Tripped over myself several times, but for a few seconds, I think I had it, and that's all that matters.
collect some oysters to make pearl jam That's some good pearl jam. Makes me feel alive, like a better man.
tickle a dragon until it cries “uncle” It cried uncle. Quest over. Time to run from its uncle now.
triple-cross a double-crosser I did it, but somehow ended up on the same side as the double-crosser.
hit the books until they don't hit back My knuckles are sore and bleeding, but that'll teach these books to ever fall off the shelf and on to me ever again.
find out what's on clouds one through eight Miserable. They're all miserable. Why can't I just be on cloud nine?
train a crouching tiger to find the hidden dragon Took awhile, but I taught the tiger there was no reason to crouch and be stealthy. The dragon is easy to spot as it always tries to hide behind overly thin trees.
take an anger mismanagement class So when I'm angry, I should scream and yell, attack whoever is around me, and blame all my problems on others. I could get used to this!
investigate the strange lights in the sky Got closer to investigate. The lights are on some kind of flat wall. It appears they are flashing outwards. Trying to find the end of the wall, I discovered I was boxed in, and the top was some kind of screen. What exactly is going on here?
take the day off Wandered through the realm of Godville on my day off. Unfortunately, I kept getting attacked by monsters, and kept having to go to town to heal and sell loot. Gave me a strangely reminiscent feeling of something, but I'm not sure what.
waste time productively Well, that was obviously a complete waste of my time, even though I did get a lot done during it.
get a lion and a witch into a wardrobe As soon as they were in, they started arguing over who was the ruler. Seriously, who cares? It's just a wardrobe. Some people.
deliver the emperor's new clothes Lost the delivery on the way. Held out my empty arms in shame to the emperor. He gleefully grabbed a whole lot of nothing in my arms and told me they were just what he expected. When he started to try them on, I decided it was time to make a hasty exit.
dream a dream within a dream Got lost in the layers of dreams. Now I don't know if this is reality. Prepare to resurrect me if this is not, my {Lord Lady}.
step on every crack in the road between godville and deville Done. And just in time, as I got word that my mother is in the hospital with extreme back pain.
lower the high seas Now they are mid-level seas, which admittedly is far less intimidating.
find out how far the apple falls from the tree Turns out it's not far. Every time I stood under the apple and waited while watching for it to fall, when it did, it only made it as far as my face.
pluck a golden hair from the devil's back and stay alive That was exhausting. I have it, but feels like I've been to hell and back.
sing all of “99 bottles of beer on the wall!” Took that last one down, passed it around, and none left. Now to stumble back to Godville. I was supposed to drink a bottle of beer with each round, right?
unlearn what has been learnt I have just unlearned how to complete all quests I've completed prior to this one. Now I'll have to completely redo them if I get them again.
pair socks for a millipede That was tedious. This is why I don't wear socks.
cry a river and sail to the ocean Just reached the ocean on a river of my tears, which were created purposefully and solely for this quest and have nothing to do with monsters bigger than me forcing me to run away scared all the time.
hitchhike to the other side of the galaxy Well sure, that was easy enough. But how do I get back?
find out the real date of the end of the world Well, this can't be right. Some astronomer says the sun will expand and engulf our planet in a few billion years, but that just sounds ridiculous.
do nothing until the next quest That was a nice break. Guess I should go get that next quest now.
perform a spell check on a book of incantations Fixed all those misspelled words, but now it's just a random jumble of words. I'll leave the rest up to a grammar checker.
find the strongest link in the chain and break it Had to use a combination of extreme heat and a saw to get through that link. The heat easily destroyed all the other poorly concocted links, leaving only this one that I had to break. Really not sure why I put so much effort into this one.
  • In retrospect, this one is way too long and drawn out.
sell sand to some desert nomads After spending much time following them around and badgering them, the nomads finally bought the sand just to shut me up.
  • Simple concept, but I like how this one played out.
find out what the sleeping dogs lied about Bothered every single person I came across to find out. Turns out dogs don't actually talk.
finish an everlasting gobstobber Huh. Only took about 12 hours. Guess most people just don't have the patience to figure that out.
stay alive for one entire quest Didn't say it had to be this quest. But for one of those quests I've done, I stayed alive the entire time. I think.
make a divided house stand Added some walls and beams, subtracted unnecessary space, and thus multiplied the structural support.
boldly go and take on a mini-quest (mini) Walked in like I was the most important person around and took on the mini-quest. This quest positioning system should really help with it.
find a waterfall and look behind it for hidden treasure Found a waterfall. Looked behind it. Found nothing. Can't say I didn't try.
figure out what the heck is going on Wait, that's what's going on? Now that I know I better stay out of it.
solve a catch-22 in 21 easy steps The 21 steps were easy enough, but then step 22 forced me to make a horrible decision.
pick a fight with fate and win Fate said that I will do great things! Ha! I'm totally winning that fight!
  • While I like the concept here, it doesn't really work as the hero didn't pick the fight. Oops.
learn to ride a horse without training wheels No wheels, but did get a couple much smaller horses tied up to my horse to guide and steady it.
find out if chocolate milk comes from brown cows Nope. They make just regular milk. And something else brown. Definitely not chocolate.
find a good rejected quest and complete it Found a completely logical, simple quest that made far more sense that many of the ones I have. Enjoyed completing it. Why do the good ones always get rejected?
  • Love the commentary in this one. Makes me happy.
place all chickens in the right pecking order Took all the chickens in the left pecking order and just put them in the right one.
take a bite out of the food chain Carefully linked tens of pieces of bacon together in loops, then cooked it. After it finished cooking I took a bite out of it. Then ate the rest. Food chains are delicious.
find satisfaction in the little things There is nothing more satisfying than the bartender's simple ability to refill my glass.
organize an anarchist union Organized the union, but it all fell apart when we couldn't decide who was in charge.
find out what a vacation is and take it by force, if necessary What? People take time off from work? I'm taking a vacation, Almighty, and there's nothing you can do about it! Wait, that just completed my quest. It's over already?
find a burning bush and talk to it Thought this quest was ridiculous until I found a burning bush espousing some nonsense about the meaning of life. Tried to talk to it. Unfortunately, it freaked me out, so I poured water on it and put it out.
make a long story short Cut it off after the first sentence. No one really cared how it ended, right?
do six impossible things before breakfast Well, that took long enough. Was able to have lunch and a couple dinners since I started. Now that I've finished, I guess I can finally have breakfast.
find out exactly who let the dogs out The dog catcher did it, in the kennel, with the key.
  • I like this ending. I feel like it almost redeems the quest based on the awful song.
venture into a black hole and turn on the light The light switch was right inside. The black hole turned into a star. Who knew that was how that worked?
plant a beer garden Tilled the ground and then buried beer bottles. I can't wait until I have a fresh crop of beer in a few months!
learn to distinguish the small monsters from those that are far away Figured it out. If I can touch them, they're small. If I can't, they're that weird kind that get bigger when they get near me.
try everything once, and maybe even twice Did everything once. Now heading to the tavern to try some beers a second time.
counsel a misguided missile After a long talk, the missile seems to be back on target.
  • I just like how this one flows, despite the simplicity. Makes me happy.
judge a book covers contest Picked the prettiest cover as the winner. Was met with boos from the audience of avid readers. They clearly do not appreciate a good cover.
unify quantum mechanics with relativity Well, you take the small-scale, low-mass theory of quantum mechanics and combine it upon itself trillions of times over and the forces constantly build up, eventually meshing perfectly with the large-scale, high-mass theory of relativity. Obviously. I mean, who doesn't know that?
  • This is another one I love because I think it sounds smart, but again wish I had more confidence that it made sense. People that actually know about this stuff probably think this sounds ridiculous.
assassinate an assassin in the act of assassinating another assassin Accidentally tripped an assassin who fell and killed himself, causing the accidental assassination of the assassin assassinating the other assassin.
  • I feel like this one is bad, but I really like it anyhow.
bring a cutting remark to a punfight Oh yeah, that's quite the stab in the back. Bet he's hurting now.
calm down a petrified forest Not sure why the forest was scared stiff, but it should be better after that reassuring talk.
recalibrate the scales of justice Fully recalibrated. In my favor of course.
  • Another simple but good one, in my opinion.
win a game of hide and seek against the invisible man I kept losing when I had to seek, but once I was hiding, I never saw him find me once.
convince another hero to do a quest for me Got another hero to do it for me. Heroes are so gullible. Now I have to get back to Godville as I hear another hero as a special request for me.
discover how frogs can survive after croaking Two simple words: zombie frogs.
  • YES! My new favorite! I so did not think this would get accepted.
perfect the recipe for disaster I tried, but made a total mess out of it. Oh wait, that's all I had to do?
laugh in the face of danger until it cries Who knew danger was so sensitive? Now I kinda feel bad for laughing in its face.
deliver the daily newspaper to every hero in Godville Finally done delivering the papers. And a new issue is almost out already. But I've done my quest, it's up to some other poor hero this time.
rub someone the wrong way Went around rubbing every person I saw. Judging be the angry mob after me now, I must have rubbed some of them the wrong way.
  • This one make me laugh.
win a game of croquet against the queen of hearts Done! I win! I win! Oh... she doesn't look happy. She seems to want my head. And I seem to want to run.
outsource this quest to a certified professional Finally found a certified professional hero to do this quest for me. Strangely, he had one for me to do as well. I should head back to Godville to get it.
train the quick brown fox to jump over lazy dogs Told the fox to go, lazy fat vixen, be shrewd, jump quick.
  • At first reading, this ending appears meaningless, but the ends is actually another pangram like the quest.
collect signatures to ban petitioning This petition to ban petition has been successfully petitioned.
unsolve a generic mystery I thought someone did something somewhere with something, but all the evidence I found points to the contrary.
  • Another one I really like. I just think it reads well.
find a person who weighs the same as a duck Done. Finally. That is one tiny person. And a massively fat duck.
take a trip down memory lane Found Memory Lane between Reminiscence Street and Recollection Drive. Started to walk down it, but it was so steep I lost my footing, tripped, and fell down it.
supervise the annual guild spring cleaning My guild mates did a fantastic job cleaning up, though they are looking resentfully at me now. I should probably go out for a bit.
find a perfectly normal odd number After counting out, I found that the number 123,456,789, while odd, is as normal a number as you can get.
take something from one guy and bring it to another guy for a reward The other guy was so excited to get the thing from the first guy that he gave me something slightly useful, but mostly pointless.
change the world, then change it back While most attempts failed, apparently I was the inspiration to outlaw alcohol, thus changing the world. However, then they reinstated it as that was the only way people could deal with me.
find an imaginary key to unlock an invisible box in the hidden room After having no luck, I just pretended to grab a key and shove it in a box in front of me. Surprisingly, it opened. The contents were unbelievable!
beat a fish at a drinking contest That was easy. That fish can't drink at all, just floating sideways in the barrel of beer I threw it in.
ask the right questions and get the right answers Asked what the opposite of left was, what a synonym for correct was, and what a ninety degree angle was. Got the right answer every time.
  • Another one I greatly enjoy.
repave the highway to hell It's much smoother now. People must have had a bumpy trip to hell before that.
follow by example Tried something new by doing exactly what those in front of me were doing. Strangely, others copied.
settle the argument over whether it's duck season or rabbit season Decided it was both and had a large and delicious dinner.
teach a coyote to catch a roadrunner Try to catch it and it escapes, but if you do nothing, it eventually runs itself into exhaustion.
keep trying until it hurts That didn't take long. Trying always hurts. That's why I don't do it often.
repaint the firewall Painted it blue. Now it's a waterwall.
  • This one is dumb. Not sure what I was thinking here. Sorry.
tame a mechanical bull After much trying while it was out of control, I finally just unplugged it.
earn a black belt in shadow boxing That was easy. To earn it, I knocked my shadow out, leaving it lying on the ground.
find out how many milestones there are After counting as many as I could, I determined that there are in fact more milestones than can be counted.
fellowship with some ringleaders The ring leaders tried to fellowship but the lack of rings led to the fellowship falling through.
find out where the light goes when you turn on the dark Clearly the beams of darkness block out the light. Everyone knows that.
set a new high score There! Beat tha... oh. Well, that didn't last long. But I still had the high score for a few seconds. That still counts, right?
banish the night and call it a day Took me until dawn, but the night is finally banished. That's a day.
limbo under the bar of common sense Easily limboed under it. Actually found it quite comfortable.
figure out what the heck is going on Whoa, that's way too complicated. Think I'll return to being blissfully ignorant now.
discover where the wild things are Climbed in a boat and sailed away. Hit an island. Found the wild things. At first they wanted to eat me, but then they declared me their king. A wild rumpus ensued.
  • I love this one just for the source material.
attempt to crash reality To my surprise, I succeeded, which makes me question if this is really reality.
fetch a pail of water from the nearest mirage The water looked so delicious! Tasted a bit sandy though.
become one with the force I did it! I could move things with my mind and control others' thoughts! Then I drank a beer and it all went away. Oh well.
take a hike That was a good hike. I'm glad so many people suggested I take it. I bet they'll be excited to see me when I get back!
  • This may be cheesy, but I like it.
prove that for every quest there is an equal and opposite request Having completed this quest, I will now re-quest back to Godville in an equal and opposite direction for a request of a new quest.
  • I like the wordplay here.
find the troll under the bridge and pay the toll Finally found him! Paid the toll to cross and am now heading back. The troll seems angry that I paid the crossing toll and didn't cross.
  • This one is weak, but it's also a weak quest.
locate the source of the sound of silence Located it by two men – one with a guitar, the other singing.
take a paintball test and pass with flying colors Passed through a paintball testing range. The flying colors were beautiful at first, less so after I got hit by so many.
find a dog whose bite is worse than its bark That one will do it. Injured throat means it can't bark, but those teeth sure can bite. I better get to a doctor fast now...
go around in social circles Good thing I didn't have to stay in just one. Each one I went in kicked me out.
restock the dungeon for the next hero All stocked up, neat and tidy. Though I'm gonna feel kinda stupid if this is my next dungeon…
find the volcano that all lava lamps come from This is one weird looking volcano, inside a large building with lava lamps coming off some form of moving platform.
send a young hero on a pointless quest That'll show him. Those young heroes need to earn the right to do meaningful quests like I do.
pay off the bill of rights Finally got enough to pay it off. Won't have to deal with those pesky rights any longer.
find a dozen fresh rooster eggs Well, these are slightly off color, but they came out of a rooster, so they must be eggs, right?
compose a song using mental notes Done! It sounds beautiful in my head, but no one else seems to appreciate it.
swim through a pool of sorrow and catch some waves of joy Well, that was mostly a miserable experience, though there were a few moments of bliss involved.
bridge the cultural gap Well, I built a bridge between the two, but I'm not sure how that helps. Now they're just fighting over it.
manufacture meaning from nothingness Oh, now I understand! This quest is so much deeper than I initially thought.
arrange a date between burger king and dairy queen Set it up, and it went well at first, but got messy when they got all mixed together.
brew a storm in a teacup Whoa, that was fierce. And delicious.
sneakily follow another hero on their quest, to make sure they don't screw around Followed one hero, who was following another, who was following another, who was following another, who was following me. After many circles, we decided we all fully completed our quests.
do something regrettable and feel great about it afterward Accidentally drank a glass of water instead instead of beer. My body feels great. My mind is still struggling to understand what happened though.

Monsters: 2

Monster name
Adamant Atheist
Venom Moss

Artifacts: 3

Artifact name
key to happiness
official %guild% shot glass (NOT seen in game)
stake raiser (@) - changes current quest to epic quest (NOT seen in game)

Equipment: 3

Type of equipment Equipment name
Legs puffy parachute pants
Body artificial beer belly
Legs shiny disco roller skates

Plus...

  • 17 grammar fixes
  • 19 reported bugs
  • 2 questionable content
  • 2 awesome ideas
  • 1 other
  • 70 points converted from 1750 IQ points


Favorite Chronicles From Other Gods

These are the best chronicles I have read from other Gods separated by genre along with a quick break down of what each is about. By all means, click on any that catch your eye to read and rate their chronicles!

Stories

These are chronicles that mainly feature a single story or a series of short stories.

  • GodSupersneaky  – Hilarious chronicles told as a series of excellent short stories – one of the very best out there!
  • GodMorrigan Dahlia  – Excellent and funny short excerpts of a hero's life in Godville.
  • GodKhalia  – A phenomenal narrative about a young heroine's origins as a heroine.
  • GodMeldra  – A very long but very good and involved story of one hero's travels. More like a novel in progress than a story. Don't be put off by the initial writing style – it quickly makes sense and fits into the story. This is also one of the absolute best out there and should be read by all!
  • GodLisaAlexandra  – A very well-written and well thought out story – easily the most in depth background of a heroine in all of Godville (including her wikipage of course).
  • GodAurlord  – A series of short stories about the travels of a heroine connected by an excellent running commentary from her god, giving the chronicles a very unique feel. Plus, an awesome list of the many diary entries he is responsible for in the game!
  • GodYour Ex Girlfriend  – An excellent short story about a hero's reluctance to take on a mission for a goddess.
  • GodRyanna  – An excellent story wherein there are heroes planning to take over the realm of Godville, but are held at bay by the only force powerful enough to stop them...
  • GodMalise  – An excellent read about a hero's both comedic and tragic love for his goddess.
  • GodStellarina  – A fun and well-written self-mocked story about the hero's origin.
  • GodArmedApti  – A great story that has little to do with Godville, but is still excellent and very well-written!
  • GodZephurious  – A well-written story of a hero's time in Godville.
  • GodSRLazria  – A long but well-written and entertaining account of her heroine incorporating many of the events from the game. One of the most Godville-centric chronicles out there!
  • GodShinnio  – A very well-written story built around actual quotes from diary entries in the game. Really well done and hope to see more!
  • GodDelphonso  – A very atmospheric and detailed tale of a hero battling a couple of monsters.
  • GodDrazzof  – An interesting story of how a hero came to be.
  • GodDesphomena  – A long but none-the-less funny story about the beginnings of a heroine, introduced with a letter from the heroine to her goddess.
  • GodElectroz  – A very witty story written about any hero/heroine and their god/goddess with great commentary about Godville itself.
  • GodThanatos1393  – The story of a hero's reluctant and confused acceptance of his life and mission in Godville.
  • GodCeccetticat  – A great story about how a heroine being constantly punished by her goddess.
  • GodCuteDorie  – A short and funny story about a goddess and her heroine (who I met in an epic 81 turn, hour and four minute skirmish).


Serial Updates

These are chronicles that mainly feature regular updates about the hero's travels through Godville.

  • GodSourceRunner  – Tough call as to whether these are serially updated chronicles or a series of short stories, but I lean towards the serially updated. Either way, these are fantastic, funny, and very well written!
  • GodAmazinzebra1998  – A very funny series of short entries written by both heroine and goddess.
  • GodXzzwxs  – A series of humorous updates on the hero's travels from the hero's perspective.
  • GodRaindropstop  – A short, fun story about a heroine finding her purpose in this world, followed by series of excellent short updates about the heroine's accomplishments.
  • GodHolyreaper  – An entertaining and original series of story-like updates told as if the hero's level is his age.
  • GodSamantha Mahon  – A fantastic series of well-written, humorous updates marking the accomplishments of her hero.
  • GodAvadaKedavra  – Unique and hilarious (albeit slightly confusing!) updates on a heroine's quests from the goddess's/player's perspective (needs to be read to understand that!).
  • GodTaquitos  – A series of entries about different aspects of the game written in a variety of different manners.
  • GodKaren Hickey  – A brief introduction to a heroine followed by illustrated updates about her travels.
  • GodSkeatsie  – Straight up chronicles with a sense of humor. Also, my arch-nemesis, despite being in the same guild.


Others

These chronicles are anything with a more unique take that don't fit into the other two categories.

  • GodEpoch  – An informative and humorous breakdown of gold bricks and the hero's alcohol consumption.
  • GodAdamShi  – An excellent Godville-themed parody of Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven.
  • GodTriangulor  – Excellent and extremely well-written chronicles set to the tune of Modern Major General.
  • GodIsis Jane  – A funny commentary on the game from the hero's perspective.
  • GodCRogers  – A very humorous and well thought out read of a hero with a bit of a split personality.
  • GodMad As Hell  – Short and funny, this is a hero attempting to tell his story while dealing with an angry god.
  • GodGuru Gnu  – Essentially just a promotion for the Groovy Church of Happy Happy Joy Joy – but an excellently written promotion with a fantastic mix of the movie Office Space with the cartoon Ren and Stimpy.
  • GodAlexander the Mighty  – A short, well-written poem about his hero, made all the more humorous if you're familiar with Strong Bad.
  • GodRugby Jesus  – Something completely different! A series of limericks about Godville.
  • GodOhMG  - Something else completely different! Three excellent Godville-themed song - plus a list of formatting tips for chronicles as a bonus!
  • GodAmerican Idiot  – An excellent breakdown of a variety of statistics of one user's game, most notably a breakdown of where all of a temple-owner's bricks came from.
  • GodD-Envy  – Another set of statistics about the game, including advice for gaining bricks quickly from a non-paying user.
  • GodNonnal  – A short funny story, plus a wikipage chock full of interesting statistics about the hero's progress.

And finally...


Golden Brick Breakdown

How I got the 1009 bricks for my temple (including 9 lost bricks):

Gained Bricks

  • Melted: 371 – 36.8%
  • Quests: 231 – 22.9%
  • Bought: 225 – 22.3%
  • Bold Items: 126 – 12.5%
    • Broken down into:
      • Alchemical Transmuters: 67 – 6.6%
      • Philosopher's Stones: 35 – 3.5%
      • Deus Ex Machinas: 5 – 0.5%
      • Continuum Transfunctioners: 5 – 0.5%
      • Mystery Boxes: 3 – 0.3%
      • Box With A Question Mark: 3 – 0.1%
      • Dimensional Destabilizer: 1 – 0.1%
      • Davey Jones' Locker: 2 – 0.2%
      • Santa Claws Bag: 1 – 0.1%
      • Gift of Fate: 2 – 0.2%
      • Monster Repellant: 1 – 0.1%
      • Kill Switch: 1 – 0.1%
  • Monsters: 38 – 3.8%
    • Broken down into:
      • Mini-Quest Boss: 23 – 2.3%
      • Wanted: 9 – 0.9%
      • Posthumously Awarded: 6 – 0.6%
  • Duels: 13 – 1.3%
    • Broken down into:
      • Skirmish Wins: 12 – 1.2%
      • Arena Wins: 1 – 0.1%
  • Dug out: 5 – 0.5%

Lost Bricks

  • Deus Ex Machinas: 6
  • Mystery Box: 2
  • Box With A Question Mark: 1

Monthly Breakdown

How I got all my bricks broken down by month (for abbreviation references, see appropriate section in Gained Bricks):

Month Melted Quested Bought Items Monsters Duels Dug Lost
September: 32 (starting the 5th) 6 14 4 7 (AT: 5, CT: 2) 0 1 (arena) 0 -1 from MB
October: 62 15 19 11 13 (AT: 10, PS: 3) 0 1 3 -2 from DEM
November: 61 15 19 12 12 (AT: 7, DEM: 2, MB: 2, BWAQM: 1) 0 3 0 -1 from DEM
December: 84 33 21 19 9 (AT: 5, PS: 4) 1 (P) 1 0 0
January: 91 42 23 16 7 (AT: 5, PS: 1, DEM: 1) 1 (P) 2 0 0
February: 102 48 22 18 12 (AT: 3, PS: 9) 1 (P) 1 0 -1 from MB
March: 93 39 22 17 14 (AT: 5, PS: 4, DEM: 2, GOF: 1, SCB: 1, MR: 1) 0 1 0 -1 from BWAQM
April: 89 34 19 19 13 (AT: 7, PS: 5, GOF: 1) 4 (P: 1, W: 3) 0 0 -2 from DEMs
May: 120 38 25 38 13 (AT: 7, PS: 5, CT: 1, MB: 1) 6 (W:2, B:4) 0 0 0
June: 142 30 28 52 16 (AT: 13, CT: 1, DJL: 1, DD: 1) 12 (P:1, W: 2, B: 9) 3 1 0
July: 133 (ending on the 20th) 71 19 19 10 (PS: 5, CT: 1, BWAQM: 2, DJL: 1, KS: 1) 13 (P: 1, W: 2, B: 10) 0 1 -1 from MB
Totals: 1009 371 231 225 126 38 13 5 -9

Notes on my brick numbers:

  • I've been told I was fairly lucky with Alchemical Transmuters and Philosopher's Stones, so my item total may be higher than the average player.
  • Likewise, I've been told I was horrendously unlucky in getting bricks from skirmishes, so my duel total may be lower than the average player – and likely significantly lower than a player that regularly goes to the arena which I only went to three times and only won once.
  • Digging got me a grand total of 5 bricks. It's worthless. Unless you buy charges and have tons of gp to spare, don't try to dig for bricks. Digging is really only useful for when you want to revive a pet. Outside of that, I would advise avoiding that voice command.
  • My monster total went up significantly when the devs introduced Wanted Monsters in April and yet again when they introduced Mini-Quest Bosses in May. Had these been introduced earlier, my monster total would have been significantly higher, and I expect all future players would likewise have a significantly higher number of bricks from monsters than I had. In fact, with the addition of diggable bosses well after I finished my temple, I would expect that would become the main source of bricks, possibly only second to melting.
  • And finally...

(Extremely Dated) Melting Observations and Tips

Some may argue this, but unless you are constantly buying charges and melting at every opportunity (in which case melting is extremely helpful and is buy far the fastest way to gain bricks), melting is not that useful and can in fact be counterproductive. In February I bought charges to melt (see the increased number of melts in February). While my brick numbers rose for that month, I wasn't allowing my hero to buy any equipment, and my equipment numbers actually decreased significantly due to in-game actions lowering their level (which seems to be more common the longer you neglect your equipment). As such, when I stopped buying charges, my heroine had to re-buy equipment to bring it back up to the level it was at before and my brick numbers dropped, thus wasting money that could've otherwise been spent on buying bricks or higher level equipment. Plus, if you do not melt, your money will likely go to either equipment or buying a brick anyhow (though for slightly more than it cost to melt, dependent upon town of course). Spending money on equipment may seem like a waste at first, but once your equipment reaches roughly +40, it becomes cheaper to buy bricks than to buy equipment and the rate at which you buy bricks skyrockets (my equipment hit the +40 point in the beginning of May – look how drastically the number of bricks my heroine bought rose those next two months!). As such, if I hadn't spent money buying charges in February and let my equipment fall apart, it would've reached that +40 point much sooner and I would've been buying bricks more often much earlier which likely would've garnered me more bricks than I actually gained from buying charges and melting excessively in February. Yes, there is the chance your hero may waste money upgrading a lower level skill, but those are more or less inevitable and worth letting your hero do. Once a skill hits level 6 and you thus need 3500+ to upgrade that skill, it becomes a non-issue. As such, letting your hero upgrade each skill to at least level 6 is a convenience that will get those out of your way so you don't have to worry about them anymore. Once I realized this, I always allowed my heroine every opportunity to upgrade new skills until they reached level 6, then went back to worrying about buying equipment, bricks, and melting.

  • Based on the prior knowledge, here is my advice for effective use of melting for people who don't regularly buy charges:
    • Don't melt during trading. There's a lower probability of succeeding due to the possibility of gaining money or items from the trader instead. Rather, if you are going to attempt to melt, wait until after the buying phase but before the money-wasting phase. That allows you to take a chance at raising your equipment to help get to that +40 point quick, or a chance of buying a brick anyhow. Yes, you might upgrade a lower level skill, but those are very limited.
    • Even when you do try to melt, don't waste charges on melting. It's not worth it. Charges are more effectively saved for using items that you get when you are low on gp, healing yourself during mini-quests and boss fights, or winning skirmishes. In fact, after I figured all this out shortly after my equipment hit the +40 point in May, I would never melt to below 30% that way I always had at least 50% gp after leaving town to spend on an item if I came across one.
    • The only exception to the above rules is if you have more than 6000 coins. In this case you can get more than one brick out of it and could waste A LOT on upgrading a higher level skill. In this situation, you want to use charges and melt as many bricks as you can until you are under 6000 coins (for instance, melt 1 brick if you had 6500 coins, melt 3 if you had 12,000 coins) and let your hero spend the remainder in town. That said, I would always keep 1 charge no matter what. You never know when you'll end up with an alchemical transmuter and three bold items, and it would suck to not have the gp to use it!
    • If you are going to buy charges sporadically rather than regularly, save them and use them for digging for money to resurrect a pet. Or, if you don't care about pets, just save them until you are nearing the end of your temple, and use them to race through the finish as they can make the last 100 bricks go by really quickly. I bought 45 charges in July, and look at how much those melting numbers skyrocketed! But don't melt continuously at the expense of upgrading equipment unless you expect to continually melt until your temple is finished.
  • And my advice for players that do regularly buy charges:
    • Melt like the dickens!

Monster Bricks

For those curious, these are the monsters I got bricks from. These are prior to temple completion only, as I've killed more wanted monsters for bricks and more mini-quest bosses since completion. And this only includes wanted monsters that gave me bricks, as I've killed way more wanted monsters that have given my outfit upgrades or cash, but those aren't relevant here.

Mini-Quest Bosses Hunted Wanted Monsters Defeated Posthumously Awarded From
Ancient Demon x5 (3 times got 2 bricks, 2 times got 3 bricks) Corporate Giant Philosoraptor
Vegan Cannibal x3 Dandy Lion Speed Sloth
Drowned Captain x3 Glowing Grue Mortal Tomcat
Level Boss x2 (got 2 bricks each time) Sumo Ninja Tyrannosaurus-Ex
Wherewolf Criminal Master Mime First Person Shooter
Rocky Raccoon Dreaded Gazebo
Trojan Horse
OctoBear
Firefox