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We're smarter than the average dog!


My name is Ruffian, and my twin sister's name is Barkian. We are two dogs in a suit, and we assimilated into humans. We're still learning how to act like a human. Like the other day, we learned that humans don't drink out of toilets... that's ridiculous!


  • Can usually be seen at amusement parks stealing the rails from rollercoaster rides.
  • Their favorite color is blue, even though they've never seen it.
  • Their god is Drunk Satan.
  • Founders of the Sexy Seals.
  • Every mailman is their arch nemesis.