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The deity, looking at his realm...
The Hero
Name The Ineffable
Created in his image at 1394 g.e.
Level 71
Gender very male
Personality mentally deranged
Religion ditheism (see below)
Motto Sɦrouɗ˖your˖ɦeaveɳ✍
Place of residence the road
Skill level range 27 - 48
Skill distribution combat: 5; transport: 2; trade: 3
Skill level average 37
Equipment level range +79 - +82
Equipment level average +81
In "Famous Heroes of Godville"
  • 1821 g.e.
  • 1846 g.e.
  • 1912 g.e.
In "Ideabox News"
  • 1830 g.e.
  • 1854 g.e.
  • 1862 g.e.
  • 1926 g.e.
The Temple 庙
Completed at 1635 g.e. or Halloween 2014
Time needed for completion 241 days (~8 months)
Bricks per hour ~0.17
Rank in Pantheon of Templehood 10724
Divine Contribution
Chronicles Read here
Rank in Pantheon of Storytelling 81
Average chronicle rating 3.77
Rank in Pantheon of Gratitude 179
Accepted ideas 24
Idea quality points ("IQ") 231
ER access Granted
Wins/losses 180/76
Win-loss-ratio 2.37
Champion-achievement 2nd rank
Invincible-achievement 1st rank
Highest winning streak 21
His Guild
Guild The Confessing Spammers
Official rank prophet
Guild-intern rank co-founder & grand archivar
Joined at 1582 g.e.
His Pet 畜
Name Sandy
Type hyper lynx
Level 25
Personality infernal
Age' five months
Times healed twice
Pets before firefox "Bolt", talking donkey "Sven" & dandy lion "Toto"
All data - more or less - current as of 2202 g.e...

The book of PutInNameHere

« It was his opinion, however, that the gods are not everlasting, but are born and perish at long intervals of time, and that they are worlds, countless in number.
Cicero, De natura deorum

Chapter one


The creation of gods
1Man has always created legends about what he does not understand. Rain, birth, life itself.
2He invented gods and gods were created.
3As any idea, however, gods were only an idea living in man's fantasy; there was one step missing: The step into reality.
4There were people believing into these ideas. 5There had been people believing into the idea of the wheel; 6there had been people believing into the idea of fire; 7there had been people believing into the ideas of language, numbers and speech.8And there also were people believing into the idea of gods, and gods finally came into being.
9And the gods called those who worshipped them “í̱ro̱es”, who shall henceforth be named as “heroes”, 10and each god gathered as many heroes as they could, for every hero meant an increase in power for his god.
The war of gods
11But the gods were products of human fantasy, and they were not perfect. They strived for might and superiority. 12This was the end of the, so called, Golden Age, and it was an end in red blood and white lightning. 13Many a hero died and many a god lost his power and fell into despair. 14And so the highest existing force, “týchi̱”, in these days known as the “Random”, decided and it decided well:
15Every god, be he strong or weak, must only possess one hero's mind and power, 16and to this hero, every god is a world, 17and a god may live as long as he is destined to, and perish, when he is fated. 18For there had never been a war of such cruelty before, and there never was supposed to be one again.

Chapter two


The birth of PutInNameHere
1And it had been foretold that it would take more than a thousand days for a god to be born, and it had been foretold that this god would be different, as he would be the-one-without-a-name.2And after thousand days had passed, man came and looked, and he said: “I don't see the god you mean!” And man grew tired of waiting while the celestial clock ticked. 3And it became a hundred days more and man spoke: “He will never come!” 4And it became another hundred days more and man spoke: “There never was a the-one-without-a-name and there will never be!” 5And it became another hundred days more and man forgot about the prophecy. 6And it became four-and-ninety days more and then the watch hand spoke and it said it was time. 7And the clouds formed the figure of a man and the sunlight gave it eyes and the ground gave it feet to walk on and the Random gave it power to become a god. 8And as it was the-one-without-a-name it was unnamed and shall therefore be called “PutInNameHere”!
The hero question
9And as the Nameless One had come into being, he was asked the hero question, not by a higher force, but by his own mind.10And the hero question was not to be answered once, but now, tomorrow and in eternity, for it was and is and shall be forever: 11Who is thy hero?
12And there is no yea or nay, yes or no; for when a god answers the hero question, he is in a state of creation. 13And PutInNameHere answered the hero question, and he created his very worshipper and named him. 14But never shall a hero outshine a god, and therefore this hero's name was made an ineffable one. This is what he is named: The Ineffable.

Chapter three


The art of worshipping
1PutInNameHere commanded his hero to build him a temple. And it should be a temple out of pure gold. 2So the Ineffable left the town known as Godville, and his aim was to collect a thousand bricks. 3But darkness had fallen over the world and creatures of evil haunted the world and they were remains of the war of gods and immortal, for they were products of eclipse. 4The golden bricks, however, were remains of the golden age previous the war, for this is why it was named the golden age: Everything had been built of gold back then. 5So the-one-without-a-name spoke to his hero and his words were those:
6Thou shalt collect a thousand bricks of gold for me! 7Thou shalt fight in the arena for my honour, for a golden brick awaits the victor of this duel in arms! 8Thou shalt solve tasks of heroic difficulty, for a golden brick awaits the one who masters these quests! 9Thou shalt fight the strongest of monsters, for a golden brick awaits the slayer of these abnormalities! 10And the hero looked up to heavens and nodded and said: 11I shall obey, Unnamed One!
A fatal mistake
12And to show his benevolence, PutInNameHere led his hero into a tavern and said: Here thou goest when thou art done with thy quests! 13And he proved that gods make mistakes, too, for they are products of human fantasy. 14And since gods own a power superior to those of mortals, their mistakes are stronger in consequence.

Chapter four


About the plurality of gods
1When gods took the step into reality, they started interfering with the world and their surroundings. 2They lost their absolute freedom, however, they won the world. 3And as there are myriads of gods which one hero each, there existed a lot to interfere with; 4and gods started to hate loneliness. 5This process was universal and, as a consequence, the Uninvokable One went through it, as well. 6He met many a potent deity, but the word shall be only of three, those three he had the honour to know best.
7The first milestone in his divine life was Charli Bambaki, a goddess of pointed eloquence and tremendous power. 8And as godly behaviour is impossible to fathom, their conversations might seem like a battle of verbal cruelty to onlookers.
9The second milestone in his divine life was Banana Girl, who he met looking for the Answer; 10and the Answer is, it is passed on, two-and-forty, but this is to be told some other time. 11This goddess, however, knew many an answer, and the-one-never-to-be-named is yet to become tired of hearing the tales of mysterious Sherlock Holmes.
12The sun rises at the horizon, wanders the sky and heavens and kisses the sea at eventime. So do the gods. 13The gods rise when it is their time to rise, they live and wander the heavens when it is their time to live and wander, they perish and kiss their memento when it is their to perish and kiss. 14So was it about the third milestone, FromAnimus, whose abilities in magic and sorcery were beyond imagination. 15Uniting fear and trust, this visionary crossed the borders of the possible.
16Honour shall be yours, for ye dedicated your time of being fighting the evil, searching for the Answer and teaching the art of sorcery!

Chapter five


Past encounters
1After the war of gods the Random spoke, and it said: 2There shall never be a second war of gods, and this is sure: 3One god is only to control one hero, in arm and heart. 4And it also spoke this: The worshippers shall encounter in λεγεώνες, which are guilds, 5and the guilds are chosen by the gods. 6And when the time came to decide for the Nameless One, he chose the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, known for its honourable goals and its bar. 7But the divine paths are invisible to those who aren't, and his hero was led to another guild, proclaiming the Answer, 8and it is two-and-forty.
The Confessing Spammers
9But there were changes to come, and they came pictured as a Daedra Lord. 10The Wyvern God was the name time had given him, and in divine dualism he and the one-without-a-name founded a guild 11and its name is Confessing Spammers. 12This was the only place the Ineffable should ever stay at from then on, for his lord commanded him to. 13And as time grew older and older, other heroes followed those two and it became almost a gross. 14However, the Wyvern God perished and went. 15Not shall this guild be left by the Nameless One's hero, for it is an honour to be a part of it 16and many a Spammer, as they call themselves, matters to this deity.

Chapter six


The nature of the one Unnamed
1As for the character of PutInNameHere, it can be seen in his outer look, 2being a tall man and powerful, 3carrying a walking cane as a demonstration of lowlihead, 4dressed nobly and diligently, showing his wish for outer beauty and inner. 5When moving, his feet scarcely appear to the earthly ground beneath them and his head is held upright, a sign of sincerity. 6Only his eyes unbosom his age and personality, as ancient and fiery as the rosy-fingered dawn. 7But it is not his outward appearance, but an aura of humaneness and vulnerability among obvious strength which makes him as human as can be. 8For he is the opposite of himself, being what he is and what he wants, and what is in between. 9And one day it can be read in the skies when the skies equal the heavens and the heavens come to earth. 10And it will read: There is no struggle between opposites, but night belongs to day and death belongs to life, everything is its own antagonism. 11And only when the entire circle is drawn, thou shalt realise that this is intrinsic and this is true. 12And this is what his appearance demonstrates.
The power of the unknown
13It was told about the non-existence of moon when nobody's eyes watch it. 14It was told about the vanishing of sound of a tree, falling in the woods, when nobody's ears hear it. 15It was told about a cat, dead and alive, when nobody is there to determine it. 16This is what PutInNameHere found: What is unknown can still be changed. 17And when he realised the power connected to this he acquired a second form and it is the form of aforesaid cat. 18And this is what he looks like in cat form: 19He is grey in fur and white in eyes, seeming hurt and harassed. 20His pelage is striped, in colours of brown and black, his eyes fiery red. 21Light green eyes placed on white fur. 22For when he is not seen his guise is unknown and may have changed the next moment. 23Never, however, the Unnamed One is seen in cat form without a crate. 24This crate is his true item of power as it is in there where he is not perceivable by any entity. 25What is hidden, is unknown; 26what is unknown is within PutInNameHere's power.

Chapter seven


Power and imagination
1It had been years since the War of Gods when his hero was asked about the truest form of power. 2And he could not answer for his task was but to fight, so the Unnamed One took his voice over and answered: There is no power. 3Power is an assumption of victory or defeat and oftentimes either is what it leads to. 4For assumptions however, and his words were to be heard all over the world, thou needest imagination 5and these are what we gods have been created from 6and for the gods are said to be of power, imagination is what thou art asking about!
7And as the inquirer was wise, he did not refrain from asking, What is imagination? 8And PutInNameHere took on his hero's body and turned around, pointing at the sea. What can you see?, he asked. 9A ship, answered the man, 10and the god posed another question: Why is this ship out there? 11And the wise man admitted his unawareness, but the nameless god said, He is fishing to earn money for his diseased daughter. 12How do you know that?, the wise man asked, and this was the answer: I do not. 13And when the wise man understood, he smiled and thanked the deity.
14No one knows if this story is true. It is of no importance.

About me: PutInNameHere


ight I introduce myself? My name is PutInNameHere and I'm very sorry for that! You'll probably have read the glorious "Book of PutInNameHere", abbreviated BoPINH, before coming here, and I wouldn't go as far as saying it's all lies, but, admittedly, a certain style demands certain events, be they true or not so. The BoPINH is the official source for information about me since I heard that many gods have such a Holy Book or however you may call it. Nonetheless, I figured that you, dear reader, might not feel entirely satisfied in your thirst for information, which is the reason for me to provide a less fantastic version of the story that led me where I am now. Here, that is. If you're looking for something to read out to your children, please choose the BoPINH, though.


The name "PutInNameHere", originally "Put in name here", derives from German "Hier Name einsetzen" ("Insert name here") and is an unsuccessful word-by-word-translation. It was first thought of in early 2014 when its bearer's knowledge of English was, to say the least, basic. Later thoughts of changing it to "InsertNameHere", a grammatically correct version, were discarded due to people already having gotten used to former name. Known nicknames include "Put" and "PINH".

The hero's name, "The Ineffable", is supposed to have been chosen due to the belief that its sound suited a hero's epic deeds. The word "ineffable" had only been learnt shortly before through the following quote:

« Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
Douglas Adams


I like to think that every god - be it sooner or later - becomes interested in what lies behind these stony walls of the huge building called "arena" right in the middle of Godville. The word "arena" comes from Latin, where it is written just the same, and originally meant "sand". I like that. It is sand the heroes put their feet on, it is sand they fight on, it is sand that soaks up the blood, and it is sand that sees their glorious victory or desperate defeat.
There are heroes who have to go through this only once or twice in their lifetimes, but others are forced into battle more often, being tossed around by their gods to fight for victory, honour and belief. Some start to like it, the feeling of power when they win, and the feeling of closeness to themself, to their body, when yielding on their knees. Others ... they are not born to be heroes, some might say, but those do not understand the sacrifices such a life demands. Others are just unlucky, a sport of the gods...
I believe my hero has understood what fighting is about and I consider myself lucky enough to actually think he liked it. What he, as a person, as a human, fought for, I do not know. But my aim always was clear: Victory. I did not make him fight for golden bricks, as beautiful and shiny as they are, I did not make him fight for honour, though its rules I did try to stay true to, but it was only victory I strove to achieve.
And, all things considered, it is pride I feel when thinking back to the old days of fighting. Oh the Ineffable, may thy weapon stay true to this god of thine!


Obituary for Toto, the dandy lion


don't remember when we first met. It must have been in October 2014, fourteen months ago.
I never saw him myself, only through the eyes of my hero, the ineffable one. But I saw him. He looked proud, convinced of himself, as if the world was at his paws.
I never gave the command to not kill him. But my champion knew what I felt and desired and tamed him. He was the one to name him Toto.
Toto, the dandy lion.

A pet can mean many things to a hero. Responsibility most of all. It is different for a deity.
We don't have to feed them.
We don't have to take them out for a walk.
We don't have to caress them, pet them, stroke them.
What we experience is the purest form of devotion. Only their mind, their emotions, their thoughts matter to us.

Toto's mind, Toto's emotions, Toto's thoughts - this all mattered to me. It mattered. For Toto is dead. He died yesterday. Yes, he was old, long-lived, but that doesn't make it easier.
Au contraire. Knowing him for so long makes it harder than ever. But I have to let him go. Time will pass and there will come other pets. Pets that will help me get over it - but I will never forget you, Toto. Farewell.

In memoriam.
19 November 2015.


Ditheism - a hero's struggle with belief


onotheism is the ideal every deity aspires. Their hero is to believe in them - and only in them. Denying the existence or at least power of every other god or goddess to their worshippers, they endeavour to be everything to them, to be all they have in mind. Yet none of them ever succeeded.
There seems to be an actual proportionality between the simplicity and complexity respectively of any given mind and its proclivity for either materialism or idealism. As a consequence, if you will pardon my saying so, relatively simple-minded heroes have a very tendency to materialistic beliefs and although each deity does their personal best to acquire a certain degree of concrete presence in the forms of lightning bolts, they have to admit their inferiority to one shared enemy: Beer.
This simple chemical construction based on CH3-CH2-OH and H2O questions the hero's devotion to their lord time and again. It asks cheeky questions like: »You sure you don't wanna have some fun?« and »Give me your gold and I will also take your memories«, a sentence which seems very religious due to a careless comment by some deity.
Either way, the hero ends up poor, dirty and - which is seldom thought of - struggling with himself and what he considers right on some muddy road. Not knowing what to do, there is only one solution, and he drinks more and more, caught in a dilemma, and in most cases without help from above.
They need our help, they need us! And, as poor as it might sound: We need them! We can not accept our heroes worshipping others, be it the mammon, be it juggernauts, be it the beer itself! We are the ones with the lighting bolts, the thunder and fireballs! We can even create rocks we can not lift (some say)! So why should we kneel down and yield before this cursed beverage?
I'll tell you: It gives them something we will not give them - the feeling to be at home, the possibility to forget they will need to stand up the next day and keep questing, keep fighting monsters, keep constructing monuments in our names. Drinking beer, that means living in the present to them!
I regret to tell you, but beer and gods appear to be the yin and yang, the good and the dark, the fear of death and living the moment!
What I am telling you is that monotheism is not a possibility. Our heroes are ditheistic and that is what characterises them and their way of living.
We are gods. We can not simply accept. But sometimes we have to. It is the ability to realise when that makes us godly. I won't bow to the beer. I will take its hand and shake it and say:
»You are a worthy opponent, but I will not yield. Eternity is where it ends.«

Heroes - who are they?


t has been six years now since the existence of the Common Hero (homo heroicus) has been proven and still scientists are unsure how to deal with him. Where does he come from? How does he reproduce? And: Where does his special relationship to one god come from? This is a short summary of what is known, what is believed, and what is yet to be found out.

The stage hypothesis

Going through heroes' chronicles, documents often written by themselves, scientists have found heroes remembering a life before them being heroes. This has led to the widely acknowledged "stage hypothesis", claiming that every hero is just an "Average Joe" - pardon my slang! - who has been hypnotised and brainwashed by religious radicals (opinions differ here) to see himself as a fighter for a, mostly metaphysical, greater good, thus going through a new "stage" in his life. In his book "The hero within us" Dr William T. Forgis stated:

« A hero, we have to understand, is but a tragedy. They are normal humans, just like us, until, under certain circumstances, they turn into poor, desperate creatures. [...] This does explain the above average alcohol consumption as well as the will to believe in an omnipotent entity, a god.

Critics of this idea point out that a hero's anatomy does not equal a usual human's (homo sapiens sapiens) entirely (see the following graphic by Brinjal for closer information: Anatomy).

The creation hypothesis

A theory that works even better, but is based on more premises, is the so called "creation hypothesis". Its few supporters suggest divine intervention as a power resulting in the development of new life forms, the heroes. A hero's characteristics are explained using religious terminology: The god's will and imagination of how something has to be is to be responsible for any inexplicable attributes in heroic body and mind.
Findings indicating an earlier life of heroes, such as formerly named "chronicles" are regarded to as divine messages. Oswald M. Gerrian, professor at the University of Trollbridge, who is said to have started the "chronicle cult", is getting to a point where these chronicles turn into a religious scripture:

« Mankind has always told stories to explain things. Fairytales are a good example; they are supposed to declare certein ethical principles, such as eagerness and modesty. We [the "chronicle cultists"] believe that this is what these writings are for. They are not just stories, they are, taken alltogether, a set of rules to live by, a set of godly rules. [...] thus it is clear that there is no scientific way to look at these texts; guidance by our hearts is the only [...] way to make us see.

The O'Loguese approach

It was only some months ago that Leyla O'Loguese stated an entirely new point of view in terms of this question: Heroes, she assumed, were basically the same as pizza. They are made, yet their ingredients exist beforehand. And although every pizza consists of several pieces, they are all pretty much the same. This, she pointed out, was a metaphor for heroism in general: Many heroes praying to many gods, each of them seeing themself as special - yet no one is. O'Loguese became famous by assigning different pizza ingredients to different physical and psychological features of heroes:

« As a matter of fact, pizzas and heroes are the same, evolutionarily, that is. We scientists call this parallel evolution, two things that developed the same features apart from each other. That one of them is an animal species and the other one a popular kind of food does not matter here. [...] And it is a lie that I only say these scandalous thinngs in order to get famous!

O'Loguese has never been criticised by her scientific colleagues due to the fact that they do not see her as a scientist. However, her reception in the news has been very ambivalent, receiving both positive and negative reviews, latter mostly in the so-called "mainstream media", a fact always streessed by her in an "I didn't expect them to understand anyway" kind of manner.

About game contributions

Accepted submissions

Category Idea Upvotes Downvotes Ratio Date
Diary, Random This diary entry is inappropriate for gods allergic to hazelnuts. 67 37 1.8 30 Jun 2014
Quest find someone who still wants to skirmish 65 35 1.9 26 Jul 2014
Artifact thing-in-itself 44 54 0.8 7 Aug 2014
Dungeon, Room description This room shows what happens if one divides by zero. Rats run through the ruins. 74 38 1.9 10 Nov 2014
Dungeon, Room description This room contains all monsters that didn't make it through the ideabox. It is pretty full here. 72 13 5.5 21 Dec 2014
Diary, Random Tried to find out %pet_names% gender. Got seriously hurt. I think I'll just continue writing “he”. 90 24 3.8 29 Jan 2015
Artifact risk calculator 53 49 1.1 15 Mar 2015
Diary, Fleeing I don't run for my life, I run for my position in the pantheon of survival! 93 30 3.1 15 Mar 2015
Earthly news Hoping not to test out this new death phrase... 62 45 1.4 20 Mar 2015
Earthly news Not getting {his/her} own reference... 68 36 1.9 3 Apr 2015
Dungeon, Room description A sign hangs on the wall, reading: “Whoever reads this is not afk.” 86 45 1.9 12 Apr 2015
Dungeon, Boss hint The words “Everything's fine, no need to worry!” are written on a wall in a strange red color. 107 20 5.4 26 Apr 2015
Dungeon, Entering fight Noticing the heroes coming in, %boss monster% updates today's menu. 113 12 9.4 26 Apr 2015
Dungeon, Room description Reading about this room brought you five seconds closer to weekend. You may use this repeatedly. 77 49 1.6 10 May 2015
Arena, Punish backfire Seems the Great Random hates %v%. That's at least what the lightning bolt hitting h{is/er} head says. 94 71 1.3 23 May 2015
Ending to "rediscover the world" And this is ... Godville? Mhh, yeah, interesting! - - - 4 Jun 2015
Entering a fight A %monster% and me agreed to be called “the beauty and the beast” and then disagreed on who was who. 96 39 2.46 28 Aug 2015
Dungeon, Path finding The heroes theoretically could walk anywhere, but only take going %dir% and %dir% into consideration. 48 13 3.69 6 Nov 2015

My non-accepted favourites

Category Idea Upvotes Downvotes Ratio
Arena %Defender% got some hits while %attacker% was giving autographs to the spectators. %Defender%'s accusations of %attacker% being a hacker were denied by the referee who was busy getting a subscription on his t-shirt. 52 42 1.2
Diary, Upon death Defeated %hero_name% and took his diary. What a noob! - %monster% 88 29 3.0
Diary, Random Was too lazy to wait for this idea to pass the ideabox, so I just wrote it down unacceptedly. 76 62 1.2
Diary, Random You know, %rg%, u(0,x) = φ(x),δ/δt u(0,x)=ψ(x) is quite easy, and if we know assume c=1 we quickly get to u(t,x) = tM[ψ] + δ/δt (tM[ψ]). I would spend all my gold on seeing your face now! 46 77 0.6
Diary, Upon death Just when the %monster% hit me for my last health points, the melody of “The final countdown” sounded from the heavens. Is this drama really necessary, %rg%? 79 38 2.1
Dungeon, Possible ways As a political statement all exits are closed except for %dir%. 80 31 2.6
Diary, Killing a monster Screamed “Got ya nose!” and the monster died, frightened. Didn't really get its nose but a %artifact%. 93 37 2.5
Earthly news Reaching the first place in the pantheon of lostness... 53 33 1.6
Diary, Temple completion Pompously placed the last brick in the fundament of your temple. Darn, this looks almost as pretty as me! 94 44 2.1
Diary, Random Heard someone mutter: “God is dead.” Hope dies last, right? 38 91 0.4
Diary, Fighting Rubbed some salt into the %monster%'s wounds. Still in doubt about its taste. 70 35 2.0
Earthly news, When dead Looking at his “ingenious pieces”... 65 65 1.0
Dungeon Godville's finest, noblest and smartest spelunkers enter a room dripping with irony, but are too focused on their important businesses to notice. 96 46 2.1

Will Paul be back as Superman?