The Ballads of Troubledsoul25

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The Ballads of Troubledsoul25
Assassin by mineworker-d419vqv.jpg
Champion of the God: [Trob]
Personality: neutral
Gender: Male
Motto: Hail to the king!
Personal Rival: Marcus Arthurion


Hey there! It appears that you somehow managed to get yourself stuck in this page. This is the chronicles of Troubledsoul25. please rate it 5 stars (or as many as you like) if you like it.

Prologue

I don't know exactly how it all begun. How am I lying here in this place, or how come I go to a place like this. As soon as i regain consciousness, I realize that I was lying above golden -and somehow slippery- floor tiles. I see the sun shines. So brightly that my eyes is almost blinded.

I mean, ugh, from all the materials in this world, why must gold? I know that these temples were sacred, but at least, make it a little bit more 'eyes-friendly', would ya?

Alright. Back to the topic.

The last thing I remember before this, is me, got something pierce right through my heart. Still don't know whether it is a bullet or sword. Then everything goes black. And when I open my eyes again, here I am. Lying on a temple. Assuming from that, I must be some kind of warrior, but who exactly am I?

A medieval knight? WW2 soldier? Samurai performing harakiri? Modern soldier fighting against terrorism?

Or, in the worst part, could it be......

An obese FPS and MMORPG gamer who died of heart attack after playing games too much?

........well, that's not gonna happen

Back to the story then

As soon as I stood up that day, I am hearing voices from inside of my head. Claiming that they are (or he is) the God. The one who brought me here. The creator of all. The one who will guide you the path. The light in the middle of darkness, and some other bullcraps.

He told me that being a hero (wait, who said that I am a hero?) is not an easy task. To fight against the evil. To stand up for the justice and against the wicked. To smite devils, -and some other bullcraps-. To do so, you must first collect 1000 golden bricks, to build a golden temple. Just like the others in this city.

Wait, so it means that this is some kind of pop culture here in this realm? Collecting bricks? Building eye-blinding golden temples? Makes sense.

And so, my journey begins.

Act 1 : Getting Locked And Loaded

As I going on through the city streets, questions began pouring into my mind.

What is this place? Why am I here? Am I already dead? Is this heaven? Or hell? Or am I actually fighting my way to there?

And actually I already fed up with this voices in my head. But since he keeps saying -bullcrap- that he is my God and guide, then I decided to officially call him God from now on.

As I walk the streets, I saw a couple of guards approaching. And quickly theyseized my arms and saying "pay your taxes, citizen!"

What the hell? I am just walking for minutes in this realm and they already demanding me to pay taxes?

Then another guard came approaching, talking to the guards "Hold on! He is a new hero. He still got nothing yet." The other guards nodded as they let me go. Then this guard talk to me "say, are you the new hero that was just reborn here?"

Reborn? Hero? I got no idea at all. So I just keep my mouth shut.

Then he say "did you just came from that huge temple over there?" Pointing a huge golden temple that I just came from. Then I answered "uhh, yeah."

"Very well" he replied "follow me then, new blood."

Now that sounds like I am going to undergo some kind of gangster initiation test.

He leads me to a huge building with huge rock sign "Godville City Hall". Ah so the name is Godville. No wonder there are so many temples around. In front of the city hall, there is a even bigger building. With a sign "Godville Administrators Chamber". All made of gold. Great. The time I start my career here I won't be able to see anything again.

And I learned new things here : I was reborn. So I must have been died before. And then, all the people who got reborn in that temple are heroes in this realm. So this must be some kind of test before entering heaven or hell, or maybe, this IS the heaven and hell those priests talked about

So I enter the building and spent a pleasure time in waiting room and old magazines. Then when the time comes, I came into a room to fill in some kind of registration form. Confused when they asked to fill my name in the form. So the Almighty suggested a new codename, named after His name and His favourite number : Troubledsoul25

Oh, Omipotent One, I am so flattered

Then into another room that appears to be an audition room, with judges sits behind a table made of gold (great, I wont survive this realm). Awkwardly doing some karate moves. As one judge stats to yawn, I try to impress the judges, try to break the judges' table into two with my backheel. But then I realized that the table is made of gold, so I screamed like Bruce Lee having his balls kicked as my heel hits the table. Surprisingly the judges amused and decided that I passed the auditions. Thanked the judges and get out the room with a broken heel.

After waiting another hour, the receptionist call me to enter a room. There, some government officials already there holding a card and a bag filled with gold. They handed them over to me and saying "Congratulations, you are now officialy a hero of Godville. Here are your heroing license and some gold t buy a diary. Now get out."

Wow, I like the hospitality of the people around here.

I came to the city market, which looked exactly like markets in third world African country. With people carrying weapons around, vendors smoking behind their stalls, chickens walking around, and weapons vendor.The only difference is, that they are selling swords instead of assault rifles.

Actually I planned to buy a sunglasses, but heard voices in my head, saying "buy a diary, sunglasses can wait." If you say so, Almighty. Hope the sunshine won't burn my eyes.

So I check the diary vendor. And saw some price tags that makes my jaw dropped to the ground. When I ask why are the prices so high, he explained "diary is the primary demand of the Gods. That's why they always set the price high." Makes sense.

Counted my coins and made myself sure that I can afford a diary, so I look around the stall. But the vendor told me to hear what my God wants. So I let Almighty choose it for me. And He told me to buy this diary. Which is looked exactly like a bible. With black cover but nothing inside. It also used the same type of paper too.

Oh wait....

Are you telling me to make a bible about you, My Lord??

Whatever. This is my -bible- diary. It will be filled with the story of my life after all.

Still have some coins left in the bag. So I decided to buy a weapon there. Saw a lot of legendary weapons there : Excalibur Sword, Rhindon from Narnia, Jedi's limited edition lightsabers and so on. Looking at the gold remaining in the bag, I decided t buy -the best weapon around there- the cheapest weapon there : pointy stick.

With no gold left in my bag -to buy a sunglasses-, I leave this (not-so-holy) city behind. Start my career as a hero. Out there, in the wilds.

Godville, here I go!

Act 2 : Laughing My Male Donkey Out

Entering a town that seems really cool from outside. I see people laughing all the way. The air brings positive energy. Not really sure what it means, but thats what I feel. Then I enter a tavern. From the outside, I can hear laughter even from miles away. And as what you can expect, the people inside are all laughing. Whoa, the alcohol here must be really strong.

Talked to few people in the tavern. These people are not only nice. But also has very good sense of humor. It sounds like they're all a stand up comedian performing for me.

Suddenly the place around me getting darker and darker. They told me the funniest joke in the world, and I keep laughing even harder. As the place around me getting darker, he keeps throwing jokes at me which makes me laugh harder and harder. Felt my ribs cracking, but I can't help but keep laughing. As I keep laughing, they pouring another shot into my mouth. I choked, but I can't stop laughing. And my stomach hurts yet I keep on laughing.

This isn't a joke anymore. This is nightmare!

My God. Please. help me...

"Ay, wake up."

Oh, momma. Is that you?

"Wake up, ya bummer!"

"Ah, okay!" I said as I jumped out of the table. Hey, I am in a tavern. But where is everyone? And the laughter?

"Guess dat last shot of fine Russian vodka gib yerself a good time, eh?"

I get it. I ordered a fine Russian vodka here in this tavern. "Taste the fine Russian vodka, the best around Godville! Made by real Russians with ecstasy!" That's what the poster in front of the tavern says. And that's why I ordered one.

Not sure if that "ecstasy" they meant is happiness or doses, though.

"Naw getta outta mah tavern! Or ya gon' scare mah customers." He said "and thanks for da drool stain ya left ere. Gon' take a while to clean em." And so, I left the tavern.

That tavern keeper somehow reminds me of my momma. A big fat guy with rough voice, nasty look, and hairy armpit. The only difference is he got a wild beard instead of chest hair my momma has.

And, ugh. Try to bear this headache while looking for a public bath around the town. Damn, that vodka was great but so do the side effects. From there I learn something : never try Russian products.

Then I checked my pockets, if I lost anything in that tavern. Found some few coins and a note, saying "extra charges for the vodka, and cleaning the drool stain." Ugh, curse that vodka. Better get going and make some money.

Talking about my heroing life, nothing special. Just doing some daily routine of busting monsters -and chill- from time to time. Day to day. Few stronger monsters but no new challenge. All I do is only walk into the horizon. With no clue of where to go. And still wondered why most of these monsters had artifacts and coins inside their stomach. Gained some few -blinding- shiny golden bricks anyway.

Another day, in a public bath, I eavesdrop 2 heroes talking real seriously about -sizes- mysteries in this realm. I heard some conversation like this :

"Ever heard about Roflopolis before?"

"Oh yeah of course I did. What is it again?"

"Darn it. Curse your short memories. I heard someone found a portal through there."

"Amazing! And then?"

"So this gal is a friend of mine. She met me the other day. Before he just another emo who ruins everyone's day. But this time, she is a very cheerful person, with good sense of humor."

"Let me guess, you asked her what happened before, right?"

"Obviously, captain. But when she about to tell the tale, suddenly she broke into laughter."

"Sounds like your friend suffered from mental illness."

"No, that's not it. I told her to stop laughing, but she just can't stop it. Although there is nothing to laugh at."

"Now that's scary..."

"You say that scary? Wait until you heard the last part."

"The time she stops laughing, she isn't breathing anymore. She died of laughter"

"Died of laughter" isn't actually really scary when you say it. To be honest.

Wait. Laughter? Died? Could it be....

I stepped up and rushing towards the two guys, trying to join the conversation. But as I approach them, they ran away like they saw something terrible. Then I realized that the water in the bath isn't really deep.

So that's what makes them run away. Whoops.

I can't sleep that night. Kee thinking about that Roflopolis those guys talked about. Could my nightmare in the other day really meant something? Or is that just a coincidence? But how about that dead female and that portal? Could that be meant something?

In the morning I wake up with nice, red eyes. After The Mighty One repeatedly screaming nside my head "wake up you little slacker!" Really early in the morning. Oh, Omipotent One, can't I just have a day off this time only?

Had an argument with the lodge keeper. Try to convince him that I am not taking any shot last night. Since booze isn't allowed there. Ended up kicked out of the lodge. I am intended to go anyway.

After a very tiring day slaying monsters and picking trophies and golds, and haggling with traders, I decided to get some booze. Before getting them, I had a conversation with the bartender for a while. Since this question keeps hovering around my mind, I can't help but ask about it.

"Have you ever heard about Roflopolis?"

"Roflopolis? That mysterious town? Of course I do. Why?"

"I want to know more about that town, and why they are mysterious."

"Ah you must be a new hero. Well, there is some rumors why nobody don't want to visit that town."

"And why is that?"

"Some says that the town don't sell booze there, some also says that the town is too small that nobody notices that there is a town when they pass through it. But the strongest reason is because everyone who enters the town will be cursed."

"With cheerful behaviour and good sense of humor?"

"Yes, exactly. Plus laughter to death for those who want to tell the tale. And it is based on another rumor that it is the birthplace of Gods and Goddess" he replied "unfair, isn't it? While the Gods have full access on our diaries, they don' want us to take a look at theirs."

I almost choked as I heard the last sentence. Since I put so many insults on Trob The Almighty before. But that's not the problem I wanted to talk about.

"So no one ever survived getting outta there then?"

"Not really. Maybe, there is one or two thousand of them. Or maybe that guy is sitting somewhere around here. We all don't know." He told me.

"Also there is a rumors about the first hero ever to reach that town and lived to tell the tale. A hero called Nathan." He explains. "He tell the tale to everyone shortly after he visited that place. But only few listens because he is just a low level hero. Now people says that be becoming a hermit. Quitted the heroing career because of his depression."

"Some heroes actually believed what he said. While some others don't. Think he mistaken it as a part of Lostway, or hallucinating on his way back home."

"Either way, you can choose to believe it, or not. It is up to you. But let me tell you, s many heroes complaining that he gets headache when he think about it."

I don't know how if it is just a luck or some kind of sorcery. But it is true. I had a headache already. So I thanked the bartender and go to the lodge I reserved earlier. Until I realize that I haven't take any shot today. Man, talking is a great stress reliever.

This heroing bussiness is getting better and better. Can't wait to see what awaits me tomorrow

Act 3 : A Little Piece Of Heaven

"Get your goosebumps out of that bed already! Come on! Come on!"

Yeah, yeah, Almighty. Going to the bathroom now. Thanks for the motivational words anyway.

Got myself clean and lock and loaded. Another day, another adventure. Here I go!

So today, officialy I end the first week living here in Godville. And today I was planning to get back to my beloved home town. Capital of Godville. To finish a quest

Well, actually, this is the town that i hate the most. Highest crime rate in the realm, corrupted government and city guards, endless war to take over the city, and on top of all, blinding golden temples. So much for a holy city.

But this time, I got my sunglasses on. So everything will be okay when i gt there.

Saw a couple busting monsters together. They giggle around while talking about interesting things together. Instead of threathened, they seems very happy doing it. To be honest, somethimes I'm getting envious when i saw things like that. Still hoping that one day I can meet the heroine of my life and doing things like that. How about you, Great One? Have you met the Goddess of your life?

He responded with a lightning clap.

Again, doing my daily routine of busting monsters -and chill- and walking through the horizon. But this time, I know where to go. And the monsters are somewhat tougher than usual.

And so my daily routine of busting monsters just turned into cat-and-mouse situations. And patching up wounds with -hairball- herbal leaves.

And finally, Godville at last! I can see it shines from miles away. Just like a sunrise. And no, this time I'm not mistaken Bumchester's buttocks statue as sunrise.

The sun is setting and I can't bear the pain of these wounds anymore. So I try to go to the city as quick as I can.

When suddenly a gang of 7 Ideaboxers came outta nowhere.

Despite being light armored, these guys still look really tough with those cestus equipped. Except one of them was equipped with boxing gloves.

"Well, well, looks like you are seriously need help here, new blood." Said the guy with boxing gloves. Looks like he is the leader.

"Wait, new blood? How do you know?"

"It's easy. Just look at yourself."

Taken a look at myself. Cook's apron as armor, pair of sandals, and ripped jeans. Even a clown look more fashionable than this.

Well, at least I got a thousand-years wooden sword with me.

"So, here is the deal. I'll do you a favour by letting you go. If you also do me a favour."

"And what you demand from me is...." I say as I see other ideaboxers start circling around me.

"Simple. You tell me a very interesting phrase and I'll let you go."

Suddenly the unverse falls into stunning silence.

".....uhh, what?"

"You hear me right. Tell me a very interesting phrase. And I'll let you go."

And the stunning silence continues.

Everyone is quiet.

I keep quiet.

And so do the Gods watching from above

"I mean, you really meant it? A phrase? That's all?"

"Not only that. The interesting one! Now, would you please kindly do that?"

I look around, and saw the ideaboxers is now in a ready boxing stance. Looks like I have no choice left.

"Ok, wait. I remember I looted a joke book somewhere in my pocket."

As my hands reach the pocket, I quickly draw my sword, and slash his stomach open as I screamed "DIE YOU SON OF A WITCH!!!"

I managed to break out of the circle they made. The other 4 ideaboxers rushing towards me. While the other one taking notes into a notebook. Looks like he try to note what I just screamed.

Wait. There is only 5. Where is the other one?

"Surprise, motherhugger!"

I spin my sword towards the voice behind me. Blocked it with his cestus. Then another ideaboxer leapt behind me, ready to throw a superman punch.

I ducked, and carefully put the tip of my sword in his crotch, slash his sack open. Making a new definition of cruelty. Then he slammed into another ideaboxer I was fighting before.

Three down, four to go.

As I turn around, I saw another, 4 scared ideaboxers there. Then yelled "Alright! Who's next!?"

Then I feel something slammed very hard in the back of my head. Someone punched me. But, is it, boxing gloves?

I fell flat on my face. When I turn around he already mounted on me. Throwing thousand punches with his boxing gloves. Yelling witty phrases in every punch. Knowing my physical condition, even the weakest punch he thrown hurts me a lot.

For Trob's sake, I can't take this anymore!

An ideaboxer shouts "finish him now, boss!" Then something comes out of his right glove. Ripping the glove apart.

A blade!

I tried to grab his wrist, but I am too weak to move. Feels like my hands are tied to the ground. I just close m eyes and....

He stabbed me.

Right into my left chest. Through my heart.

This is it. The pain. The exactly same pain I embraced the time died in my previous life. And now I feel it again in my new life. Suddenly memories of my previous life streaming through the pain.

In split seconds, I saw visions of my previous life. Flashing through my eyes. I was there. Standing in front of pile of debris. It was raining, but the air is hot. Clouds of smoke everywhere. Heard lots of blasts from distance. A battlefield!

Then I look below. I saw myself dropped a rifle with bayonet. Then I saw a blade piercing through my chest. I was stabbed from behind.

And back to the reality.

I see blood pouring from my chest. My eyes were blackened after being punched several times. And I see ideaboxers got away with my loot. My gold. I can't move. I have died in my previous life, and after the second chance given, it's.........over

It's finally over......

I'm sorry, My Lord...........

.........

Why am I just staying here? I am dead, right?

"Oh, don't be such a drama queen!" Lord Trob shouted in my mind "have nobody told you about this?"

I keep trying to move my body but they are all frozen. It seems like, while my body is dead, my mind isn't. So I reply to the Great One, "what do you mean 'this', My Lord?"

"Alright let me explain." Great One says "In Godville, no hero will die. Except if they already finished the tasks their God gave to them. Or if the God decided to do so. Then you can say that a hero is truly dead." He explains.

Whoa. This realm is fantastic. "And what happen if a hero is truly dead, Great One?"

"Ah, sorry. I can't tell you that, my champ. That are a secret only Gods may know." He replied. "Anyway, where did you learn slick moves like that? Never saw something like that before."

"So you watched me!" I respond furiously. "Then why don't you help me, Great One?"

"Ah, about that. Let's just say that is a punishment. For spending more money on booze instead of temples."

Well, can't argue wit that. So I just make a imaginary nod and say "I understand My Lord. I won't do it again next time."

"Good, then. Let's just wait for the best time to ressurect you. While waiting, how about a small conversation?"

Furiously, I replied "I took my punishment, My Lord! Why don't you just let me go?"

Great One then replied "My champion. I've told you to wait, isn't it? Those ideaboxers are still really near. Would you prefer me to ressurect you now to fight them again, or we just have a conversation while you there playing dead?"

Again, can't argue with that.

Act 4 : Straight Outta Godville

The sun rises and shines and so do I today! But this time, I don't get any motivational words from Great One. Since I asked for a day off. And since first death in Godville is very difficut for heroes to process, avoiding signs of PTSD.

So the plans for today, I'm gonna stroll around Godville for a while. Yeah, I know. I told you that I hate this city. But since I'm too busy heroing and have no time to -get broke- look around the city, looks like this is the right time to do that.

Anyway, had a conversation with Great One when I died before. It goes like this :

"Heard that heroes will get a spiritual experience when they died like this. How about you? Did you get one?"

"Yeah. Saw visions of my previous life flashing before my eyes. The time I died in my previous life."

"I never heard about something like this before. How?"

"I don't know. Maybe something trying to give me clue about my past. But I don't know why."

"And have you found something, my champion?"

"Of course. I saw myself carrying a rifle with bayonet. But I'm not quite sure what era is it."

"And yeah. With an extra. I think I can find all the answers for all of this if I keep 'dying' like this."

"I can help you if you want to."

"Thank you, My Lord. But I think I won't do that."

"Why is it, my champion?"

"The pain is unbearable. I know, this is what it feels to be dead. But if I keep doing this, then I'll retire sooner than you thought."

And that's also how I got my day-off today. Also made another agreement that the Great One shall not disturb me today.

I left some pages in my diary blank for special occasions. Including this page where I call it "Achievements List". At first it is empty. But then I put "first death" in that page. Not quite an achievement, though.

Anyway, unlike in other towns. This time I stay at a 3-star hotel in the middle of the city. Complete with free complimentary drinking water and hot water tub. Might have got even cozier accomodations back in Last Resort, but the accomodations there is really expensive, so I ended up rent a sunbed and spent a night there.

This is the first time I get outta hotel with casual outfit and of course, sunglasses. Usually I wear -speedo trunks- complete armor, and my sword everywhere I go. Even for the simplest task like go out to supermarket and buying supplies.

The interesting fact in this realm is, regardless in what era are you from in previous life, all heroes has all the general knowledge in all the eras in Earthrealm. From stone age to modern times. So you can't really tell what era is a hero from in previous life. Including myself.

Another interesting fact is, despite the city is famous for its golden temples, there is no specific religion here since every hero worships their own God or Goddess. Except the admins who are rumored not worshipping anyone. Some rumors also said that they are all worshipping the same God.

As I stroll around, I see someone pulling my shirt from behind and saying "gibe moni plos."

Uhh, what?

"BR?"

Now, what is he talking about?

"HUEHUEHUEHUE" he laughs as he run wildly. Weird.

Saw a pet shop with cute animals on display. I go inside as the shopkeeper greet me gleefully "hi, welcome! Ah so you must be a hero right?" I can only barely say anything when she stormed me with another words. "Come here! We have special offers for great heroes of Godville!"

Special discount? I don't really care. I'm here just to look around.

She brought me into a large room. I can hear barks from outside. Cute dogs, I guess? Whatever it is, bring it on.

Or, better not.

As I stepped inside, all kinds of monsters looking closely at me. Barking at me. Deformed dogs, mutilated lizards, zombie philosoraptor, this isn't pet shop. This is a freak show!

"Here we boasts our finest collection of heroes companion pets. Take a look as we, hey, where did he go?"

I ran away from that horrible pet shop. Holy seat, what was that?

Then I pass through the Godville Administrators Chamber I saw earlier. Saw in the Godville Yellow Pages that I can ask for anything about Godville to the admins. But it seems like there is no one there. Everything is shut down. Like an abandoned building (actually the building is too beautiful for an 'abandoned' building). Then I hear a very loud moan from inside. Wonder what are they doing there.

-after they took my bag of coins for admission ticket- I also watch some great fights here in the The Glorious Death-pit Arena (or simply THRONE or Arena). As one of the fighter lay unconscious on the ground, the announcer said "And the winner, by the way of cheap shot, in 52nd turn, is..........JOOOHHNN SEEEAAMAAANN!!!" The music starts as the referee give him a big, gold plated belt.

Let me tell you. One day, I'll be the one who fighting there, and also the one who wears that belt.

Then passed through a block full of golden temples. Since I looking for more challenge than just slaying monsters, so I put on my sunglasses, walking straight through that block.

Then the ambulance come and made a short work healing my burnt eyes. Holy crap.

Saw some posters of guilds here too. All with creative names : The Fallen DaDa Empire, Knights Who Say Ni, Holy Random, and spontaneously ran away when I see The Ideaboxers Union's guild chamber.

From all the names I see, I decided to join Empire of The East guild. Since they -offered free booze- got some kind of newbies protection program there. As I enter the guild chamber, the members greet me warmly. The rooms are very iconic with its red colors. And their member boasts their strct discipline. Although, surprisingly, they still don't have any leader yet.

They told me to run a full marathon as initiation quests. I bowed and leave the room peacefully.

That time I think, maybe this city isn't that bad after all. Then the city guards came approaching and confiscate my belongings. Since they can't find any gold coin there, he takes one of my artifact as "customs tax"

See. Told you I hate this city.

Hate it or love it. This is the fate. This is where the heroes given second chance of their life. This is where heroes learns how to be hero. This is where every hero starts and ends the quest. You may go far away from this city. But also remember that this city is where we start everthing, and also soon become place where we ends everything. You may call this place a pile of junk, but this is OUR pile of junk.

As I arrive at the hotel and hit the sack, Great One speaks through my head. "So, how's your day off?"

"Never been better, My Lord. Had a lot of fun there."

"Great. So tomorrow you'll wake up at 5, and with a daily dose of 'motivational' words. Would you mind?"

Oh, come on....

Act 5 : The Ultimate Fighter

I may call myself a Godville hero now. Both officially and physically. Wake up with a smell of dead horse, enter a city leaving blood stain all over the road, -get banned in several tavern- and this brand new guild membership card. After a long journey doing full marathon -and fainted 5 times- and back to Godville, I am now officially a member of Empire of The East.

It's been 5 days since the day I died. Great thing that the experience don't develop into PTSD, but now I developed extreme fear on ideaboxers. Or as what the doctor says, ideaboxora-o-phobia-whatever-it-is.

I look at myself at the mirror, wearing full armor and a weapon. I can see myself, turning from bloodthirsty clown into a new warrior in making. Although it is only a light armor. Also with new iron sword. No more wooden swords from now on.

But as a hero, I never achieved any notable achievement to be proud of. I mean, heroes are called "heroes" because of their notable achievements, right?

As I walking to the gate, ready to do another quest, I saw some posters saying : "THRONE Rookies Showcase Challenge. Open to all NEW heroes. Enroll now at The Arena!"

Who can resist an offer like this?

So -after stealing a kid's tricycle- I rush to the arena and enroll for the challenge.

"Alright. Show me what's in your pocket and you can carry on."

He told me so. So I pull out my sword and show it in front of his face.

"Okay, okay! I'll let you go. Geez."

Don't understand why he looks so panicky there.

"So, you enrolled. You just have to wait for your turn to fight."

Nice! My dueling debut is today! Gotta put that in the achievements list.

Hold on, wait for my turn? You mean, NOW??

Then two guards drag me into the arena changing room for heroes and throw me in. Wow, they're very kind.

They told me to go change with the preset equipments. This is what I actually like about this arena duels : everything is balanced here. With every hero using the same armor, same weapon, same everything. Then the Department of Duel Regulatory recheck everything again and magically make our strengh balanced. So no one is stronger inside the arena. Although some seasonend arena fighter managed to learn some tricks to gain the upper hand.

Sounds boring enough? Not really. Although everything is pretty balanced and items can't be activated, Godpowers are still legal in the fight. So brace yourself from lightning strikes if you're watching the duel. And the winner takes the loser's gold and a golden brick from the judges. Other than that, there is no more rules. The fight is only stopped when the judges decided to do so.

Dressed properly. So it's time to admire my awesomeness on the mirror. Wearing a pair of spiked cestus, and armored trunks which actually intended to use it to protect fighters' jewels. But I punch the mirror as I mistaken my own reflection as ideaboxer.

Oh yeah. Also don't forget about the special rule. This time, the longer the match, the more gold the winner get. So let's do it nice and slow.

I am standing on the hallway now, as I'm getting locked and loaded.

My heart starts beating faster as the announcer announce "Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to The Glorious Death-pit Arena! Today you're going to watch the heart-stomping, eye-catching, mind-blowing, and blood-boiling action of our new heroes of Godville! Heads will roll, scars will open, blood will pour, and legs will break in this grueling contest of champions, this is, THRONE Rookie Showcase Challenge! Brought to you by The Department of Duel Regulatory."

Well, that's a bit overhyped but, that's okay.

"Now, introducing the fighters. Fighting out of blue corner! Standing 5 feet and 7 inch tall, weighed 170 pounds, and now about to start his arena career, from the Capital of Godville introducing, Troubledsoul25!!!"

I run into the battlefield and waves my hand to the cheering crowds. Then doing a small warm up in the side of the field. Then the announcer announce my opponent.

"And now introducing his opponent. Fighting out of red corner! Standing 6 feet tall and weighed 142 pounds, and also about to make his debut here. From the Capital of Godville, ladies and gentlemen, here is, DribbleJerp!!!"

And then the opponent enters from the other side of the arena. Tall and skinny, he got no chance, I think.

The ref tell both of us to go to the center for a final little briefing and tell us to bump fist. Then we both back to our corners.

The referee yells "Alright! You ready? And you ready? Let's fight!" And the fight start.

I try to take the early advantage. Quickly rush to the opponent side and throws a series of punches. DribbleJerp takes a defensive stance.

Left, right, left, jab, hook, straight. Damn, none of them hits the target.

"Hey, where's the action?" I tell DribbleJerp. Then he took the advantage and deliver a solid left hook to my stomach. Damn, he's tough.

Now he has the upper hand. Quickly he throw punches to me. I dodged all of them. Making me looks like Neo in The Matrix dodging machine gun bullets in fast forward instead of slow-mo. The crowd goes wild as I keep doing that.

Okay, enough dodging. Time to get serious. Quickly I do a foot sweep and sent him to the ground. The crowd goes even wilder.

But that didn't last long. He back to his feet in split seconds. Looks like it will be a standing fight after all.

Punches thrown from both sides. But DribbleJerp's punces was too strong. I pushed back and he leapt for a superman punch. Going to finish me off.

"Now this is my advantage."

I ducked, waiting for him to get near, and then deliver a uppercut right into his balls. I jump with the uppercut and sent him flying. Now where do I witness something like this before?

"Beating DribbleJerp by the way of cheap shot, the winner is, Troubledsoul25!!!"

I punch my fist to the air and celebrate my first win in my first debut. Although I only got 2 coins from the loser, and the fight was short, I still got nice reward of around 7k gold coins for becoming the fan favourite.

Later that day...

I open my diary and gleefully write a new sentence in "achievement list" section. "First win in first debut in arena" isn't bad at all compared to the sentence in first row (and please, don't ask me what it is).

"How's your day, hot shot?"

Little bit surprised hearing Great One saying fancy laguage like that. "Pretty good, Almighty. Won my first duel today. You watched, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah of course I am."

"That was great. But I wonder how can I get through this without divine intervention at all"

"Oh, yeah. Me too. I wonder."

"Wait....." I suddenly get silent. "You did, didn't you?"

"I did? Oh, I don't know. Maybe? Nah. No way." He said sarcastically "I mean, how come that poster magically appears when you need it?"

"I knew it! But why don't you tell me, My Lord?"

Why should I? I thought you were smart enough to discover that THRONE never make such poster. I mean, why should they make a promo when the heroes keep coming by itself?"

Realizing how stupid I am, I replied "right, right. Sorry about that. But, tomorrow prayers will be praises for you, My Lord!"

I can't see it, but I knew He was smiling up there.

And, here's for the better tomorrow. Good night.

Act 6 : Foul Beast

There is strange rumors spreading about a strange, yet familiar plague lately. Those who scientists named the R0F1 virus, or as everyone said, the Ecstacy Plague, or The Roflopolis Curse, or whatever it is. The plague that said to kill anyone with laughter. Exactly the same as what I encounter in my nightmare at that tavern. The most victims are said to be in milestones between and inside the town of Anville and Lostway. Also the place rumored to be where Roflopolis is. Although it remains unsure whether the victims from Lostway were killed because of the plague or because they can't find where the nearest hospital is.

Also there are some rumors about a group that they call themselves as "The Children of Revolution". Filled by non-heroes who demand the equality between heroes and non-heroes. Well, it reminds me of those so-called-anti-feminists who demanded women equality in modern days. They are very similar in one thing : they're already equal. What do you expect more?

Either way, I don't care about them. I just need to keep on my duty and stay out of trouble and everything will be fine.

It is easy to say, though. While the execution itself is the real trouble.

So this day, I walk into the horizon as usual. Slaying monsters, and collecting artifacts. When I accidentally tripped by an artifact. And as soon as I look around....

I found myself lying in the center of Anville.

Great.

I need a medical attention after all. So I walk around to find a hospital. The air is hot here, from the fires burning from forgeries around the town. As what you can expect from the town famous for its forgery. You can also expect the finest quality weapons here, but I lost most of my gold when I'm tripped back there, so all I do in the market is bartering my sgield for a combat knife. Since I'll rely on my agility. And the remaining coins will be used for medic.

And here I am in the hospital. Which actually rather looks like an asylum than hospital. Patients laughing in their bed. Their hands and legs tied, and laughter echoes through the hallways.

Oh Great Trob, please get me outta here.

The doctors made a short but diligent work healing me. Since they told me that I am the last patient they treat for today. Then the hospital is closed, limited only for plague victims. Looks like this is a real deal.

I practically run out of the town leaving the confused town guards behind. Just don't want to become the next victim of this plague.

When I walking, try to find a way back home, I hear loud noises and swearing from inside a cave. "Come on you little pussycat! Holy faeces! You son of a witch!"

Damn, this guy never learn manners.

I draw my sword and knife, then walk slowly into the cave. Heard some rumbling sounds. Then suddenly a Vertigoat runs wildly form inside the cave. A man with heavy armor and a spear chasing it and screamed "stop it!!"

A boss class monster! Nice. Time to write another sentence in the achievements list.

Using my reflexes and my sword, I try to slash its leg. Missed. But then a thunder hit a big tree and falls into that Vertigoat's head. What a quick thinking, Almighty!

Now that beast back on its feet. What am I gonna do?

"Stranger! Take the left side! I'll attack from right side!"

Somehow pissed off, I talk to him, "Who are you taking command?"

"I'll split the loot! Now, look out!"

I looked back at the Vertigoat and roll to the left as it throw a punch at me. I dodged it! I slash its hand as many as possible before it lift its hand away. Then I move on to its foot and try to stab it.

"Watch out, Stranger!"

It happened very quick. It flatten my face with its feet. Then I was sent flying and knocked unconscious.

Suddenly I see another visions flashing before my eyes. Back to the battlefield. I was stabbed from behind. I kneel as I try to bear the pain of blade being pulled out of my body. Then I lay on the ground.

This time, I was able to see how the killer looks like. He is wearing a uniform. It is........German Imperial Soldier uniform!

But that is not the most amazing fact. When I realized, I was wearing the same uniform!

Then I pushed back into the reality. I open my eyes and see the stranger fighting the Vertigoat alone.

I quickly grab my sword and draw my knife. I leap into the Vertigoat's back and slit its throat with my knife. Making it fell to the ground and the stranger open his mouth wide in disbelief.

"Time to collect the loot, stranger." I punch his shoulder and give him my knife. Tellng him to open ts stomach for artifacts. "R-right! I'll do it!" He replied.

He slice its stomach as the artifacts and coins began sprouting out of it. And I still don't understand why monsters always eat artifacts while they can't digest it. And surprisngly they're always in perfect condition.

We have a small chat while we collecting the loot :

"Hey, we haven't had a chance to know each other. And now we are slaying monster and splitting loot together like this."

"Yeah. I know it's weird."

"So, Let's start over. What's your name?"

"Marcus. Marcus Arthurion. You?"

"Mine is Troubledsoul25. Nice to meet you."

Although 'nice' isn't exactly the most suitable word here.

"So, you're a hero, huh?" Said Marcus.

"Yeah. You must br a hero too, aren't you?"

"Well, um, actually I...." suddenly everything fell into awkward silence.

"You what?"

He spotted 2 golden bricks inside Vertigoat's stonach, and quickly grab them and say "listen. I'm gonna tell you something and you gonna keep it secret. Then these bricks will be yours. Deal?"

"And if I'm not?"

"I gonna take these bricks and all the artifacts."

"Alright then. Jeez. I won't tell anyone."

"Good." He take a deep breath, and then continue.

"I am not a hero."

Surprised, I almost yell "You wha-"

"Shhh!" He quickly shut your mouth. "Be quiet! You almost killed me!"

"Right, right. Sorry."

He finished splitting the loot in fair amount and give some of it to me. Alongside the 2 golden bricks he promised. "Here. Take this, and go."

"Hey, we just know each other here. Why don't we g together and talk a bit?"

He seems a bit worried at first. But he accept it at last.

I start first to break the ice "so where do you come from?"

"From Herowin. I am the son of a gatekeeper. That's why I use spear here. Unlike other heroes."

"And how come you manage to 'become a hero' like this? Although, sorry, you're a non-hero?"

"Well, as you know. Heroes are fated and chosen by Gods. I'm just, very unlucky to not become one. I think that's a bit unfair for us. Non-heroes. So I want to make it change."

To be honest. I was flattered. And actually agree with him. Although I am a hero myself.

"But isn't that illegal?"

"I know it is. But it doesn't enough to stop me. I tried hard to make a new identity and hinder my status as a non-hero. And finally I go my heroing license. After 42 tries."

"Holy seed, that was too many."

"Yeah. But that's worth it. I am 'officialy' a Godville hero now." As he shows his heroing license to me.

"Whoa, nice."

"But there is only one problem left."

"What is it?"

"I still don't have God to guide me."

I was, extremely flattered to hear his story. The life of non-heroes is tougher than I thought. I can't believe they actually struggling hard to become a hero. While we heroes, we don't need to worry about that. I feel, very grateful.

"To be honest, I have no idea how to make Gods notice my work. I think if I keep slaying monsters they'll eventually notice me."

"Well, you want to be a hero, you got it."

He shocked as I say that.

Act 7 : A Friend in Need is A Friend Indeed

"Eh, what?"

"Well, maybe I won't be able to help you find a God. But I'll teach you how to slay monsters properly."

"Huh? But why?"

"You sounds like a very ambitious guy. You want to change your fate? Then I'll help you. So how about it?"

I can hear him sobs. Maybe he is overjoyed by that. "Alright. Why not?" He replied.

I point at a large field and tell him "first, let's spar there. I want to see what you got."

As I walk towards the field, Great One whispers "Hey, you sure about this?"

"No need to worry, My Lord. I'll be okay."

"I know that. But you heard the news today. And he is a non-hero. Isn't he a little bit, suspicious?"

"Of course, Great One. But, do you remember when you told me about a devil and an angel?"

We looked back at that time.

"My champion. I am going to give you an advice you'll never forget."

"What is it, My Lord?"

"Okay. Hear me out." Great One told me "Once. There is a devil and angel who fight each other. The devil wants the world to be destroyed. But the angel wants to defend the world from the devil. The question is : Who'll win?"

I answered "It's obvious, My Lord. The good will always win. So it is the angel."

"Wrong." He replied.

Confused, I ask Him "the devil? Why?"

"No. Also the wrong answer." He replied. "The right answer is : the one you gave a weapon to."

I still confused, then He continue "look, what I'm trying to say is, good or evil deeds, it depends on what your decision. If you want to change the world into a better world, then encourage people to become a good person. And help those who want the same thing too."

We fell into an awkward silence for few seconds. Then I tell the Great One. "Remember now, My Lord? I'm just following your advice."

Heard the Great One sighs, and then he tell me "Fine. But be careful. And never let your guard down."

"Roger that, Great One."

As we arrived at the middle of the field, we face each other. Marcus asked me. "So, we gonna spar like this? Fully armed?"

"You can read minds too, huh?" I draw my sword and knife and stand in a ready stance. "Alright. Show me what you got."

He put himself in a ready stance. Then we watch each other closely.

Upon smallest movement he made, I quickly run towards him with high speed. And dodge his spear slamming attack. I maneuvering to his right hand side, and slide across the ground as he swing his spear to his right side. I managed to get behind him and landed a solid two-feet kick to his back.

He fall on his face and kissed the ground. Man, that was easy.

He stand up and I scream "Once more!" Tell him to continue.

Marcus trying to give his best on this one. He swing his spear everywhere so I got nowhere to dodge.

Or actually not. I dodged and blocked his every single attacks. And I can see him frustating. Tired of dodging, I decided to parry his attack and kick his stomach and scream "This is Troubledsoul25!!!" Another easy win.

He fell to the ground again, and seems pissed off. "Not good enough! Once more!" I yelled.

This time, he was really angry. He swings his spear wildly and, well, clumsily. I just easily parry his attacks and land both straight punch to his face and invitation for the tooth fairy to visit him.

"Alright. That's enough!" I raised my hand, signaling that the sparring has ended. "Ok, let's recap that fight."

"So, what do you think is the factors that made you lose in all attempts?"

"I think it is because of your swift movement. I'm not expecting it at all. So I was very confused."

"You're right. But there is two more thing that you need to fix that I see as your biggest weakness."

"What is it?"

"First. Your emotions. You are too easily frustated. You might think that you become stronger when you're angry, but actually you're just getting clumsy. You need to work on that if you want to be a hero."

"I see...."

"And second, your agility. You don't need to be very agile to be a hero, but you must be more agile to survive. You dig?"

"I....what?" He confused.

"Sigh. I mean, you got it?"

"Oh, yes I get it!"

"Good. And remember, last but that least, one most important thing."

I stand with fire burning in my eyes and weird pose, "Don't let your dreams be dreams." I grab his shoulder and say in front of his face. "Yesterday, you say tomorrow. SO JUST DO IT!!!"

Suddenly everything falls into stunning silence.

"Uhh....what?"

"Uh, whatever *cough* never mind *cough*." I coughed in embarassment. "Look, What I'm trying to say is, that if you want to achieve something, then you need to do something. With no delay, with n excuses. Got it?"

"I knew you'll say that. Of course I am!"

"Good then." I turn around and say, "now we are going to walk on our paths. As a hero, we are fated to be lone wolfs. But next time we meet again, I want to see you become stronger."

He nodded. And we back to our respective destination.

Later in the night. I was lying on bed in this lodge. It is already midnight, and I was really tired after walking for miles looking for a place to sleep over. But I can't sleep at all. Keep thinking about the visions I had earlier. Since that proof 2 things : first, it was my second time wasted. And second, I was a WW1 soldier.

But who is that blurry face? And how's it had anything to do with the uniform he and I wear? And why a friend would do such thing?

So I decided to consult to My Lord, "Great One, I can't sleep."

"Better don't take that as an excuse to not to wake you up early then."

"No. It's not that. I just can't stop thinking about something..."

"Ah, you're having visions again. Tell me what it is."

"So, this time, it was almost the same as before. Stabbed in back, grabbing a rifle, but this time, it a little bit clearer now."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I can see what is he wearing. He is wearing a military uniform. And so do I, the same uniform as him."

"Turns out the killer is your friend, huh? Tell me more. How did he looks like?"

"I don't pretty sure. His face is blurry when I saw it."

"Well, maybe another death may help, if you mind...."

"Aaahh, no thanks, My Lord. But I am really tired right now." I said it, a little bit panicked. "But if you can do me another favour, I would like...."

"Tomorrow's wake up call is 6 o'clock in the morning! You must be grateful that I gave you one more hour this time, my champion. Good night!"

"But, Great One..."

"There is no butts, uh buts! Discipline is the paramount of success! Slacking is the seeds of failure! Now enjoy your much needed rest!"

About to ask for a day off, but oh well. I knew he won't let me have it. "Aye aye, My Lord! Going to sleep now."

Act 8 : Heaven and Hell

"Just wake up you piece of seed!"

"Jeez, Great One, that was harsh one."

So I spent the night in this lodge located in the town of Dogville, or city since this place is really crowded with dudes and dogs (obviously). The owner of this place has a whole family of dogs which are so awfully smelly that I had nightmares abut dogs in my sleep. Although actually I like dogs.

Nightmares and inadequate sleep. Great way to start a day, huh?

Since the lodge doesn't have toothpaste and toothbrush, I came to a nearby river just to wash my mouth. Ah, that water taste as good as mountain water!

Then I realized a dog is pissing few meters away from me, right into the water. I almost choke myself.

Just few minutes after I woke up and someone already trying to poison me. Sign of a great day to come, right?

Did you even believe that such town with great dog population doesn't have any pet shop? Well, that isn't a really surprising fact you know. Since almost everyone here have pet dogs, they're giving away some puppies they can't handle, and even export it to another cities and towns.

Now that's one surprising fact.

Asked Great One if I may adopt a retriever as my pet dog. But He deny it, saying that a hero's pet must be able to protect its master. So I searched for rottweiler instead, only to find out that they hates me. All of them. Empty handed, I left the town.

While walking (and slaying) around the road, I saw a big sign that says "HEROLYMPUS, THE HEAVEN OF HEROES, 40 MILESTONES AHEAD". I almost jump in joy. Told you that this is going to be a great day.

Can you believe that? I am going to visit my dream retirement home? This couldn't be any better.

Or worse, right?

Since the town is located in a mountain top, I need an extra effort to go there. I mean, I am not climbing a rocky cliffs or crossing through bottomless abyss to go there. It is a very good road. But with this armor and weapon, sure this is going to be really tough. Glad that I don't use a heavy armor, though.

Now that I almost arrived at the town, my feet feel re-energized with joy, and the fact that I am going to see the best town in Godville (this one is personal). I brace myself for the best thing of my life.

Unlucky that I didn't brace myself for the opposite.

Instead of heaven-on-this-realm, what I saw is a terrible view. Burning houses, mutilated bodies, dead, old heroes, blood stains, vultures eating corpses, looks like that there is some kind of riot here. But, why is there a riot in a remote town like Herolympus? I mean, this town is not even close to civilization at all.

I walk along the pathway. With blood stains on the ground. I examine the buildings. Still burning, with bright, warm fires. There is something weird about this place. But, what is it?

Then I examine the corpses. Almost throw up when I saw most of them are already deformed, knowing that they were eaten by the vultures.

Oh wait.

Why did the fires is still burning then?

This is not another, normal fire. This is magic! A mage attacked this place. But, still, why?

Suddenly I got a feeling that I am not alone in this place.

"I know you were there! Show yourselves!" I yelled. Then I see shadows jumping from place to place. Then they stopped right in front of me, showing that I am ambushed by four ninjas. One is wielding dual ninjatos, one is using sai, one is using nunchaku, and one is using a long stick. Somehow it feels like deja vu.

It is obvious, they are going to attack me. But, anyway, I still speak up, "what do you want?"

"What do we want?" One of the ninjas replied, "whatever we want, why are we here, or why are we looking for you, it doesn't matter. What matters the most for us now is you to surrender. Here and now."

"Humph. Do you think that I am such a person like that? Ask me to do so, and I just surrender like that?"

"I know you would say that. Tough guy." He grinned. "Just hope that your anus can handle such a torture from us."

Uhh.....what?

They attack me from all sides at once. All I do is doing a simple dodge and they all hitting each other. I almost laughed. Prepared for next attack, I dodge a flying kick from one of them, then a stick attack. And I made some distance between me and them. Pulling out their shurikens, I dodged all of them in acrobatic moves as they throw those shurikens. As you can expect from ninjas, they're really fast.

This is the fight I was looking all the time! I can't lose this one!

With the excitement, I become stronger and better. I quickly maneuvering behind the one who wields a nunchaku and stab my knife to the back of his throat. With the rest of them charging towards me, I doing some kind of kapoera moves to keep them off the bay. Then I leap forward and stab one of them in his left chest with my sword. The two ninjas remaining then attack me from both left and right. I leap and make a spinning double leg kick, and make them fall.

But I wasn't hitting both of them.

I failed to anticipate a front kick from left side and I fall headfirst into a rock. I become very weak, and blood pouring from the back of my head.

"Argghh, just watch out you-"

Then I realize that I am in the middle of.....

...nowhere.

Seriously. This is not Herolympus. I don't even think that this is Godville. This place is way too surreal to be exist. Too dark, even with the sun shines, with red skies. And I don't think that this is San Satanos either. Don't see any volcano around.

I am in the middle of the street. Dead trees around, smell of cooking pots in the air, skeletons of dead animals, wreckage of a carriage, looks like Wild West of the Underworld somehow. Except they got this thick fog. I keep walking, and found a really long broken wood fences. Can't see the end due to the thick fog.

(Stay tuned for my next heroic stunts)

See also

Fei Seraphin : Tales of A Satan's Worshipper

The Slumdog Aristocrat : The Chronicles of Marcus Arthurion